TAMW CH25

Zhou Xiao left the room carrying Yuqing’s sweat-soaked long gown.

As it happened, Zhao Fu and Deng Yongquan had just returned from the port, and he ran right into them.

Zhao Fu was momentarily stunned, then lowered his head and stood obediently before him.

Zhou Xiao took in his appearance. Submissive and cowardly. The woman who birthed him all those years ago was the Sixth Concubine.

The Sixth Concubine’s looks were average; she had been forced onto Zhou Yuzhang by the Old Madam specifically to bear children. Having only one young master in such a large household was simply unacceptable.

The First Madam kept a tight grip on things, and for many years, no one in the inner quarters bore a child. She turned a blind eye when the Sixth Concubine sought out a stable hand to father a child, and then disposed of her afterward.

As for the child, the First Madam maintained her usual facade of benevolence. Publicly, it was said the Sixth Concubine died in an accident, but out of pity for the innocent infant, she raised him in the household as a domestic servant.

Back then, who among the outsiders didn’t praise the First Madam’s kind heart?

Zhao Fu, having spent years running errands outside, was somewhat stout. With his single eyelids, he looked rather rough-hewn.

In the past, Zhou Xiao had never taken a good look at him. Now, scrutinizing his cowardly demeanor, he noticed the clothes on him were made of good material—evidently provided by Yuqing. Yet, ultimately, putting a dragon robe on him didn’t make him a crown prince.

He looked nothing like himself.

He slightly raised a finger and pointed at Zhao Fu from a distance, a silent, stabbing motion, the threat in his eyes unmistakably clear.

Zhao Fu pretended not to see, not even uttering a single “Young Master.”

He reached out to take Yuqing’s clothes, but Zhou Xiao ignored him. Draping the long gown over his own shoulder, he asked Deng Yongquan, “Is the matter settled?”

Deng Yongquan nodded, though it wasn’t entirely resolved, and followed him outside. “Master Ruan would like to arrange a meeting with you.”

“Ruan Hongtian?” He thought for a moment. “He must be older than the old man. How is he still alive?”

Deng Yongquan: “…”

Zhou Xiao: “A scourge lives for a thousand years. The wicked always die slower.”

Deng Yongquan: “…”

“When?” he asked.

“The day after tomorrow, at the Ruan family banquet. It’s a birthday celebration for the Second Master’s child. They specifically sent an invitation for you.”

Zhou Xiao took two steps up the stairs at once, clutching Yuqing’s long gown, his mood surprisingly upbeat. “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen Second Uncle. Go buy some gifts for the child.”

“How was the situation at the port resolved?” he asked.

Deng Yongquan: “With guns present, they scattered on their own. I took men down, soaked the opium in water, and buried it.”

In this day and age, indeed, the barrel of a gun was the only hard truth.

The several hundred firearms he had brought back from France actually proved useful.

Originally, when returning from France, he thought he wouldn’t have enough silver dollars for his startup capital and planned to sell the guns to raise funds. The price for new firearms domestically was at its peak. Now, he had saved himself the trouble.

His wife had agreed to open the vault of the Qingming Bank. When the time came, no matter how much profit they made or how much was distributed to the Zhou family, it was just moving money from the left hand to the right—it all went into his own pocket. Zhou Xiao wasn’t stupid; why wouldn’t he be happy about it?

Listening to Yuqing’s tone, coaxing him to come home, everything they earned now was to pave the way for the child. The child was their child, and he was the child’s father.

Wasn’t what belonged to the child also his?

Furthermore, wouldn’t he be able to have everything of Yuqing’s whenever he wanted in the future?

With the silver dollars secured, the guns could still be resold to the military. It was a pity Jiang Sui wasn’t around; otherwise, he was certain Jiang Sui wouldn’t be able to resist this deal.

In the end, he was the true beneficiary—gaining both profit and his wife.

Today, Yuqing had even called him Zezhi…

Thinking of this, the corners of Zhou Xiao’s mouth couldn’t help but curl up smugly.

The Zhou family belonged to Yuqing, so he would just give it to him.

A long time ago, he had said he didn’t want the Zhou family, but he never said he didn’t want Yuqing.

With Yuqing, once the child was born, he and Yuqing would be bound together for a lifetime.

What did it matter if there was no romantic love?

The First Madam and the old man had no romantic love, yet didn’t they live together for all those years, guarding this Zhou residence for a lifetime, entangled until death?

Besides, both he and Yuqing did have feelings.

He desired a lifetime with one person, so naturally, he wouldn’t betray Yuqing’s painstaking efforts to manage the Zhou family for him. How could they follow in the footsteps of those old, decayed fossils?

A family of three—they had to live a sweet and happy life.

The more Zhou Xiao thought about it, the more comfortable he felt. He held Yuqing’s long gown in both hands and took a deep sniff under his nose.

The material was exceptionally fine; even with several layers folded together, it remained breathable. Through the dense silk, Yuqing’s sweat-drenched jasmine scent permeated, making his scalp tingle.

His heart had already drifted far away.

They were having a child. Yuqing would have to stay with him for the rest of his life for the sake of the child.

Letting him kiss, letting him eat, letting him embrace.

When the child was born, he could bury his face in that flat lower abdomen, daily pitying his suffering during pregnancy, praising his contributions, and coaxing him until his body and mind completely relied on him. When Yuqing could no longer leave him, that would be his ultimate punishment.

Deng Yongquan stared wide-eyed as the Young Master draped the Young Madam’s robe over his face, his shoulders shaking with laughter.

As the dim light of the setting sun hit him, it seemed as if the shadows of the Zhou residence were gradually swallowing him whole.

Zhou Xiao’s shadow was cast onto the bluestone pavement, merging with the gloom under the eaves, stretching long and greedily.

It almost covered the entire courtyard. In a little while, when darkness fell, the Zhou residence would light its red lanterns once more.

Deng Yongquan couldn’t suppress a shudder.

In the past, when Zhou Xiao studied in France, he often just carried his schoolbag and smiled gently at everyone he met. Although he ordered him around, he had a mild temperament.

But ever since returning to the Zhou family a few times, it was as if the Young Master had changed.

The human skin mask he wore in France had melted into the sea during the voyage back.

Deng Yongquan shrank his neck and followed him to the small kitchen.

Doctor Liu was still squatting on the ground, waiting to brew the medicinal diet. Seeing Zhou Xiao enter, he was so terrified he clutched his head.

In all his years running his clinic, he had built a stellar reputation. He was his master’s most prized disciple, finishing his apprenticeship early and making a name for himself early on. He just had bad luck.

With the advent of the Republic, Western hospitals moved in, bringing surgeries and battlefield dressings. Traditional Chinese medicine clinics in major cities gradually declined. The most frequent visitors to his clinic were those who, having exhausted Western medicine to cure infertility, came to try their luck.

His clinic was failing to make ends meet. It was only one day, hearing from someone that a party was seeking an ancient prescription, that he recommended himself.

In ancient times, there were indeed records of men becoming pregnant.

However, those prescriptions were used by male prostitutes in the red-light districts. Some patrons had a specific fetish for men with large bellies, so they just needed to use medicine to swell the stomach. Later, to continue taking clients, they would take more medicine to abort it.

No man had ever truly given birth. When Yuqing came seeking the medicine, he heard it was someone from the Zhou residence. He only knew there was an old master in the Zhou household.

Assuming this young, beautiful man was also serving someone with his looks, he provided the prescription.

Since the clinic was already operating at a loss, he suppressed the fact that no one had ever successfully given birth, waiting only for Ruan Yuqing to return for the abortifacient.

He never expected that once the old master of the Zhou family died, this Ruan Yuqing was actually playing for keeps.

He had been scared half to death. Before he could flee, he was caught red-handed by Ruan Yuqing’s men.

He thought Ruan Yuqing, knowing he couldn’t survive the birth, would definitely want the abortifacient. Yet, he never anticipated that he intended to keep the child, and even ordered to save the child over himself…

With the Zhou residence currently withered to this state, he guessed the child was likely a posthumous heir. He absolutely never expected a Young Master to suddenly pop out of nowhere in the Zhou family!

In all these years, no one outside had ever heard of a Young Master in the Zhou family.

The old man favored an adopted son brought back from the streets, the First Madam was dead, and there was only an Eldest Miss who had already married out.

Taking this beating, Doctor Liu felt nothing but regret for his greed!

Zhou Xiao crouched down and helped him up. “Doctor Liu, you’ve worked hard.”

Doctor Liu was startled by his sudden change in attitude. Trembling, he asked, “You… you’re not going to hit me again, are you?”

“Sigh.” Zhou Xiao patted his shoulder, making Doctor Liu flinch violently. “I was wrong earlier. You know how it is. I love my wife dearly and can’t bear to see him suffer. I temporarily lost control of my emotions.”

With a wave of Zhou Xiao’s hand, Deng Yongquan behind him quickly dug into his pockets and handed over five silver dollars.

Doctor Liu swallowed hard, his goatee twitching a few times, but he still accepted them.

Zhou Xiao said with a beaming smile, “The Zhou family has plenty of this money. In the future, if the Young Madam truly suffers a mishap, you can conveniently use it for your journey to the afterlife.”

His voice was very soft, almost drowned out by the bubbling and frothing of the medicine pot on the small stove.

With a sharp clink, the five silver dollars dropped to the floor. Doctor Liu immediately fell to his knees. “Young Master Zhou, I beg you, let me go!”

“I have elderly parents and young children to support. My entire clinic relies on me to keep running…”

Zhou Xiao gentlemanly crouched down and picked up the silver dollars. One had fallen into the fire pit; he retrieved it all the same and gently placed them back into the doctor’s hand.

“Hold on to this. In the future, if you’re short on anything, just put it on the tab with the butler. Whatever premium medicinal herbs you need, prescribe them. If you nurse his body back to health, you’ll be rewarded too, won’t you?” Zhou Xiao curled the doctor’s fingers closed over the burning hot silver dollars. “Mrs. Zhou is relying on you too.”

“The burden on your shoulders is too heavy. Please, make sure you don’t overwork yourself.” He patted the man’s shoulder. “I’ll find someone to be your assistant.”

This isn’t finding an assistant; it’s clearly finding someone to watch him. The moment he tries to run, he’ll likely be killed on the spot…

Doctor Liu didn’t dare not nod. Closing his eyes in helpless resignation, he said, “Thank you, Young Master… No, thank you, Master Zhou.”

Zhou Xiao’s gaze showed approval. He had Deng Yongquan reward him with a few more silver dollars, arranged for someone to tidy up a guest room for him to stay in. From now on, there was no need for him to go to the clinic, and even if he went home, someone would be assigned to follow him.

Large red lanterns were hung high.

Humming a little tune, Zhou Xiao headed to the port. Only a small portion of the parts he held had been sold; the rest were shipped directly to Liu County. Once the funds from the Qingming Bank came through, construction could begin immediately.

When Zhou Xiao returned, Zhao Fu was guarding the door, holding a bowl of medicine to stabilize the pregnancy.

Inside, Yuqing was asleep. Since his pregnancy, his energy levels were a shadow of what they used to be.

Unable to smoke mint leaves to refresh himself, he often lacked energy. Sometimes he would sleep until the latter half of the night, wake up to review the bank’s ledgers, and sleep again at dawn.

With an irregular routine, it was no wonder he was losing weight.

Zhou Xiao had returned carrying pastries from Xianxiang Restaurant—all the ones Yuqing had ordered during their last visit to the theater.

Yuqing’s sleep seemed somewhat restless.

With no one else in the room, Zhou Xiao placed the pastries on the table.

He sat on the edge of the bed and felt Yuqing’s forehead; he still had a low-grade fever, but his chest seemed better, not as tightly strained.

Yuqing had a habit of not turning on the electric lights, so the night was even dimmer. Only a few red candles by the bed illuminated their blurry silhouettes.

Today, Yuqing was able to lie on his side. His ankles were hidden beneath the quilt, nothing but skin and bone. His entire body was slender and soft, yet the swell of his lower abdomen added a touch of tender maternal grace.

Yuqing, three years his senior, seemed to possess an innate magic that made him want to rely on him.

A tenderness rarely seen in men—he seemed to possess it in abundance, and it was mesmerizing.

How could he be so beautiful?

Zhou Xiao took off his outer coat, climbed into bed, shared the same pillow, and lay on his side, watching Yuqing.

Yuqing didn’t know how long he had been stared at.

He hadn’t had a sound sleep in a long time. At five months, the child was already kicking.

Perhaps because he was a man, the little thing inside his belly felt the growing environment was a bit cramped. It often threw tantrums, kicking him from time to time.

His chest also frequently felt uncomfortably heavy; he had endured it for a long time.

Although he was ill today, he surprisingly slept a bit better.

When Yuqing slightly opened his eyes, he barely twitched his fingertips before realizing his entire hand was being tightly clasped by someone else’s.

The bed they lay on was old, made of wood, and draped with curtains.

Just waking up, his mind wasn’t entirely clear. Through the gauze curtains filtering the candlelight, he made out the man’s face.

Yuqing had never seen what his adoptive father looked like in his youth, but Zhou Xiao’s profile was very similar to his father’s—just younger. His brow carried the pride of having studied abroad, the high-spirited vigor appropriate for a student.

Despite the three-year age gap and their drastically different paths, Yuqing didn’t feel there was too vast a difference between them.

Beneath the appearance that resembled his father, Zhou Xiao possessed a soul that he found unfathomable.

Childish, yet remarkably… it gave him a sense of reliance.

At the port today, he hadn’t panicked; he merely found the situation thorny. He was pregnant, and if a real commotion broke out and he was discovered, outsiders would make a laughingstock of the Zhou family.

Zhou Xiao arrived, took him away directly, and didn’t further discuss how the matter at the port would be resolved. Surprisingly, Yuqing felt no anxious urge to ask. It was as if a voice was telling him that Zhou Xiao could handle it.

This actually reminded him of the first time he met his father.

Zhou Yuzhang didn’t ask whose family he belonged to or why he was selling himself on the street to bury his mother. He simply took him away and settled everything.

Resolving his immediate distress without asking for causes or consequences, it gave him the feeling of being someone he could rely on.

Yuqing’s tense nerves gradually relaxed. He reached out and gently traced Zhou Xiao’s face. “Father…”

Zhou Xiao suddenly bit down hard on his fingertips. Yuqing suppressed a smile and added, “Father in his youth probably looked just like you.”

“And so?” Zhou Xiao asked.

“I’ve never seen it,” Yuqing replied.

“I wouldn’t look good wearing those old-fashioned robes,” Zhou Xiao said. “Ugly as hell.”

This was insulting himself while simultaneously insulting Zhou Yuzhang.

Towards Zhou Xiao, Yuqing harbored some guilt in his heart.

Back then, he had thought that if Zhou Xiao died outside, his father would only have one son left—himself—and would treat him wholeheartedly as his only child.

Zhou Yuzhang knew he had wronged Zhou Xiao in his youth, so he meticulously taught Yuqing, hoping that one day he could assist Zhou Xiao in reviving the Zhou family’s name and honoring their ancestors.

Zhou Yuzhang’s affection for him always came with a prerequisite, separated by the existence of Zhou Xiao.

Yuqing had been jealous of a man he had never met, hating him for not knowing what was good for him.

But now, looking at Zhou Xiao’s face, so strikingly similar to his father’s, his heart softened once more.

He is his father’s child…

Alive and vibrant, the proof that allowed him to see that his father had once lived in this world.

He was jealous of him, yet envious of him. And many years ago, he had come to understand him.

He had thought Zhou Xiao would cut ties with the Zhou family from then on, never to return.

But Zhou Xiao was actually treating him well for the sake of his own child.

Both father and son gave their true devotion for the sake of their own children.

Yuqing pinched Zhou Xiao’s earlobe, and Zhou Xiao gently rubbed his cheek against his palm. “Did you see clearly who I am?”

“I saw clearly.”

Zhou Xiao asked softly, “Who is it?”

Yuqing’s long eyelashes fluttered. He leaned his forehead closer, his hot, fragrant breath puffing against Zhou Xiao’s cheek. “Zezhi.”

Triumph flashed in Zhou Xiao’s eyes. He lowered his head, resting his forehead against his. “Why are you calling me?”

“Didn’t you ask me to?” Yuqing held back a smile, the corners of his mouth lifting, causing the small mole under his eye to shift slightly.

“….” Zhou Xiao didn’t deny it, but stubbornly said, “I told you to call me Zhou Xiao. You used to call me Young Master. You get one courtesy name and you change how you address me? You act as if you’re very familiar with me.”

Yuqing reached out and hugged his head. Zhou Xiao naturally buried his face into his chest.

They weren’t familiar, but it felt like this was exactly what they should be doing.

“Alright, not familiar.” He indulged him, somewhat like how his father had indulged him.

Years ago, Yuqing didn’t like drinking his medicine. His father said he was just like Zhou Xiao when he was little.

Hearing this, Yuqing felt angry and couldn’t help but say bitterly, ‘Yuqing cannot compare to the Young Master, who is your own flesh and blood.’

His father had replied, ‘Alright, then you cannot compare.’

They both smiled, and he obediently drank the medicine. His father then said, ‘You are both children. Even if one is biological, both need someone to love them.’

Zhou Yuzhang gave all the love he owed to Yuqing.

So Yuqing instinctively—wanted to return the love his father had taught him to Zhou Xiao.

“Everyone else calls you Yuqing,” Zhou Xiao said. “What should I call you? You don’t have a courtesy name.”

Yuqing thought to himself, Is a courtesy name really that important?

He never quite understood exactly what Zhou Xiao was so dissatisfied about.

“Father also called me Yuqing,” Yuqing suddenly thought of something. “What do you want to call me?”

Zhou Xiao choked for a moment. “I don’t want to call you anything. I just think it’s pitiful that you don’t have a courtesy name.”

The head resting in Yuqing’s arms nudged gently, a muffled voice coming from against his chest. “How could he not even know to give you a name? He was the best at fake affection.”

“I see that people who don’t have a courtesy name often double the last character of their given name to use as a nickname. If you like it, then consider it given by me. It’s yours.”

Yuqing: “….”

Pleased with his own reasoning, Zhou Xiao pressed, “Is it good?”

Before Yuqing could speak, Zhou Xiao lifted his cheek from his embrace. Seeing those eyes filled with pity, Yuqing felt a bit displeased. “If it’s not good, then it’s not good. I’ll just call you Young Madam or First Madam from now on. That Zhao Fu wishes he could call you Yuqing. Who the hell is he? Li Yuanjing met you once and calls you by your name. What am I to you? Why should they be treated the same as me?”

“Zhou Yuzhang claimed he loved you, yet didn’t even give you a courtesy name—”

“Alright, alright.” Yuqing quickly covered his mouth. “Alright, Yuqing thanks you for the name, okay? Stop being angry, you finally gave me a chance to rest…”

He felt so helpless he wanted to laugh.

Zhou Xiao grew smug again, exhaling a breath of pride.

Yuqing touched his face, rubbing the tip of his nose against his. His voice coaxed, “Then call me by it.”

Zhou Xiao’s ears instantly turned red. Fortunately, the lighting on the bed was dim. He muttered softly, “Call what… Do you think I’m a dog?”

“You call when told to call…”

Zhou Xiao’s facial features were actually quite deep. When he frowned at people, it gave off a strong sense of oppression, making him look very unlike a student.

But for some reason, Yuqing always felt that when he frowned while resting in his arms, it carried a hint of helplessness, like…

Like the big dog they used to keep in the courtyard. When it hadn’t been let off its leash to play for a long time, it would hold its leash in its mouth, furrow its distinct little doggy brows, and tilt its head to look at Yuqing.

Looking both confused and aggrieved, but as soon as you pet it, its tail would wag so hard it hurt when it hit you.

Yuqing reached out and stroked his hair.

Zhou Xiao froze, forgetting even to move his Adam’s apple. He tilted his head up slightly, as if using his forehead to press into Yuqing’s palm.

Yuqing said, “You came up with the nickname, aren’t you going to say it?”

He even added that his father had never called him that.

Zhou Xiao’s voice deepened: “Qingqing.”

The man’s voice wasn’t as soft and pleasant as Yuqing’s. Instead, it was hoarse and bashful, exactly like a student called upon by a teacher to stand up and answer a question in class.

He savored Yuqing’s nickname just as he had tasted Yuqing’s name for the first time.

A name only he called.

Qingqing.

Yuqing blinked silently. In this moment, he didn’t see Zhou Yuzhang’s face overlapping with this one. Under the dim light, it was another man calling him by his newly acquired nickname for the first time.

The courtesy name wasn’t important; what mattered was the process of naming, a feeling that was hard to describe.

Precisely because no one had ever called him that, it carried significant weight.

Something expanded in Yuqing’s heart. He pursed his lips slightly. After a long while, he suddenly realized that this felt like being cherished.

“Say it again,” he smiled.

“You like it that much?” Zhou Xiao asked.

Yuqing nodded, coaxing him amidst his own inexplicable heartbeat. “Yes.”

Zhou Xiao felt a bit embarrassed and tried to mumble past it, “Qingqing.”

“What?” Yuqing teased him with a smile.

“You—” Zhou Xiao sighed, “You’re playing with me.”

“No, I really like it,” Yuqing said. “It’s the first time someone has called me that. It feels wonderful.”

“Just like when you called me Zezhi…” As soon as the words left his mouth, Zhou Xiao shut up.

Say too much, err too much, love too much.

Yuqing blinked, pretending not to hear. He took his hand and placed it on his own lower abdomen. “Then will you pick a name for the child later?”

“I won’t,” Zhou Xiao said somewhat coldly. “That’s not my place. It’s always the mother who picks…”

“But I’m a man.” Yuqing giggled, then sighed deeply, not knowing how to explain it to the child.

Because of his selfish desire, a life was being brought into this world.

Zhou Xiao stroked his pregnant belly very lightly. He hadn’t dared to look before, not knowing what he was afraid of.

Perhaps he found it bizarre. Such an absurd thing had never been heard of in the world.

Even if men could be together, bearing a child was a life-threatening ordeal. He was terrified that because of his past impulsiveness, he would have to face a newborn child.

He didn’t even know how to be a child himself, having lacked a father’s guidance; how could he fulfill this role properly?

Yuqing hesitated for a moment. “You pick a nickname for the child. A child can’t have two fathers, so…”

He wanted to discuss with Zhou Xiao whether he could be an uncle or something else, letting the child only follow his bloodline.

Otherwise, future generations would mock the child’s origins when they saw them.

“So, he should call you ‘Mother’ instead,” Zhou Xiao found his worries absurd.

“Call me what?” Yuqing didn’t quite hear it clearly.

Zhou Xiao pursed his lips. Saying this word always made his heart pound, making him even more nervous than saying ‘Qingqing’.

The mature man supported his pregnant belly, bringing his cheek closer so Yuqing could hold his head. That youthful obsession seemed to return, calling out to his dream.

He called out softly: “Mother…”

As he called out, he was somewhat agitated. The shadow beneath his body pressed lightly against Yuqing. The tip of his tongue trembled as if enduring something, and his head couldn’t help but rub gently against the person’s chest.

This shouldn’t be what he wanted to call out.

In his eyes, even though Yuqing was a man, he would be a good mom.

A good mom.