Death—this was not the first time Gu Yuanting had experienced it.
Ending his own life—this was not the first time either.

Fate was mocking him. He had finally managed to obtain everything, and now he was about to lose it all.

He thought he had gained the entire heaven, but he had never realized that heaven meant death—and when flipped over, it was hell.

A surge of ruthless determination rose in Gu Yuanting’s heart. He suddenly gripped the handle of the fruit knife tightly, and in his heart said to the original owner, Come on then—mutual destruction.

The darkness was so silent.

Faintly, Gu Yuanting’s fingers clutched the knife handle so hard that his knuckles turned white. It was as if he heard Ranran’s voice. His mind, dizzy and aching, gained a brief moment of clarity—only to fall back into confusion.

The sharp pain in his head felt like it was splitting his consciousness in two—
One half lingered on the warmth of Ranran, the other told him that in the end, he would still be left with nothing.
Hate the original owner? Then why not end it all, drag him down to hell together?

But then… what about Ranran?

The thought suddenly rose in Gu Yuanting’s mind. Images of Ranran’s face in pain and tears flashed before his eyes, and his whole body shuddered as if struck. The knife slipped in his grip and almost fell.

If he left, what about Ranran?

If he dragged the original owner to die with him—what would happen to Ranran?

If Ranran woke up in the morning and found him lying dead in a pool of blood… what would happen to him?

Gu Yuanting couldn’t imagine it. His whole body turned cold, trembling. Suddenly, he threw away the knife. The fruit knife landed on the carpet with a muffled thump, nearly hitting his foot.

…To Ranran, that would be the most terrifying nightmare of all.

Gu Yuanting collapsed weakly onto the carpet in front of the sofa. Leaning his back against it, he slowly drew his knees up to his chest and curled himself into a tight ball.

With his long arms and legs, he folded himself into as small a space as possible, staring blankly into the darkness.

In Ranran’s heart, he and the original owner had always been the same person. Even if Ranran soon discovered the truth, facing the fact that both he and the original owner had died together could cause a complete mental breakdown—condemning him to live forever in that nightmare.

In the future, who would protect Ranran, take care of him?

How could Ranran, alone with a baby, go on living?

He couldn’t commit suicide…

He had to die quietly, and hand over the Ranran he loved so deeply… to the original owner.

Gu Yuanting sat huddled in the corner under the sofa, his gaze lost in the dark void.

A despair deeper than death.

“Ting-ge?” Ranran’s voice suddenly came from upstairs. Gu Yuanting dazedly looked up toward it. At some point, a warm white light had switched on at the staircase. The beam slanted into the dark living room like the first light of dawn.

Ranran stood right there in the glow, and without thinking, Gu Yuanting reached his hand toward him—like a man sinking in despair, reaching for his final salvation.

.

Su Yiran had been half-asleep when he sensed something was wrong. Reaching out, he found the other side of the bed empty. Ting-ge had gone to the bathroom, but why was he gone so long?

A sudden pang of dread shot through his heart, jolting him fully awake. He got up and saw the bathroom light was off and no one was inside. Panic rising, he searched the whole place until he saw Ting-ge in the dark living room from the staircase.

There were no lights on. In the pitch black, Su Yiran saw Ting-ge curled up in a ball, his gaze empty, pitifully huddled in the corner under the sofa. His chest ached painfully as he called out, “Ting-ge?”

It was as if Gu Yuanting woke from a trance. Reaching toward him for help, Su Yiran rushed down the stairs and grabbed his hand, pulling him into a tight embrace. “Ting-ge, I’m here, I’m here.”

Enveloped in Ranran’s arms, Gu Yuanting managed to keep calm at first. But after being held gently for a while, it was as though he finally came down from the brink of despair—his body began to tremble lightly, then more and more, until he was shaking all over. His throat tightened, and he couldn’t utter a single word.

Feeling him tremble, Su Yiran’s own voice began to shake. He stroked Ting-ge’s body up and down, whispering, “Don’t be afraid, don’t be afraid. I’m here. It’s okay, it’s okay.”

It was a long time before Gu Yuanting’s trembling finally subsided under Ranran’s comfort. Suddenly, he hugged Su Yiran tightly. “Ranran, Ranran…”

Su Yiran caressed his hair and back, pressing soft kisses on him. “I’m here, Ting-ge. Don’t be afraid.” Every time Ting-ge called his name, he answered.

Only after a long while did Su Yiran feel Ting-ge’s emotions settle. He pulled him onto the sofa, switched on the nearby lamp. With a quiet click, the living room filled with light, the darkness banished completely.

Su Yiran smoothed Ting-ge’s hair. “What happened? Why did you suddenly leave the bed and come down here?”

Gu Yuanting held him, his head buried in his chest, silent.

“Did you have another nightmare? They’re all fake, don’t be afraid.” As he spoke, Su Yiran’s gaze caught sight of the fruit knife lying on the carpet. His heart jumped violently.

A terrible suspicion rose in his mind. It terrified him, tore at him like a blade. His voice trembled. “Ting-ge, you… you…”

Hearing the change in Ranran’s tone, Gu Yuanting snapped back to himself. He also saw the fruit knife and quickly bent to pick it up, placing it far away on the coffee table. “…I had a nightmare, wanted to come down and calm myself.”

Su Yiran glanced at the knife again, then silently hugged Ting-ge and kissed him. His heart ached to the very core, but he acted as if he’d noticed nothing. “It’s not dawn yet. Let’s go back upstairs and sleep a bit more. I’ll stay with you the whole time.”

Looking at Ranran, Gu Yuanting’s eyes surged with deep, unspoken emotions. In that instant, who knew what thoughts flashed through his mind? Without a word, he kissed Ranran gently, then suddenly lifted him in his arms and carried him upstairs.

They made love tenderly.

…

That day, they didn’t go to the hospital as planned. Su Yiran stayed by Gu Yuanting’s side the whole time—holding him, quietly keeping him company, sometimes kissing, sometimes murmuring small words. They didn’t separate for even a moment.

By evening, Su Yiran noticed Ting-ge seemed a bit listless. He touched his forehead and found it warm. Alarmed, he fetched the thermometer and confirmed he had a low fever.

He figured it must have been from the night before—sitting alone in thin clothes, huddled in the dark—he must have caught a chill.

Gu Yuanting refused to go to the hospital, so Su Yiran found some fever medicine, poured warm water, and fed it to him. He kept checking his temperature at intervals.

Gu Yuanting quietly watched Ranran the whole time—obediently drinking water, taking medicine, lying down to rest. Whatever Ranran asked, he did.

“Good thing the fever’s gone. Rest well tonight, and let’s go to the hospital tomorrow, okay?” Su Yiran held him under the covers, stroking his cheek.

Gu Yuanting nodded silently, then suddenly asked, “Can you kiss me?”

Su Yiran felt a pang in his chest, leaned over, and kissed him softly. Then he held him and gave a string of light, fluttering kisses.

Gu Yuanting seemed satisfied. After holding him quietly for a while, he suddenly asked, “Do you love me?”

Su Yiran said, “I love you.”

Gu Yuanting smiled faintly. “Good.”

There was still one question he didn’t ask.
Couldn’t ask.
Didn’t dare to ask.

…Will you still remember me?