“The JK here isn’t English; it’s probably the phonetic abbreviation from Japanese,” Dou Sheng whispered. “But I understand what you mean, mmh-hmm.”

At such a young age, Xie Lan had the misfortune of experiencing the sensation of soaring blood pressure.

His mind blank, he scrolled down through the comments. One person mentioning “Cousin” was like opening the floodgates; the reply thread quickly piled up hundreds of layers. Screenshots of the hand in the video were everywhere, and someone even typed a line of classical poetry.

—Hands like tender shoots, skin like congealed fat (creamy white), Cousin is truly a great beauty.

He didn’t understand the first eight characters, only recognizing the last phrase.

Xie Lan grabbed Dou Sheng by the collar, his clenched index finger knuckle pressing against Dou Sheng’s neck. “Explain.”

Dou Sheng’s Adam’s apple bobbed unconsciously, brushing against Xie Lan’s finger as he broke free from his grip.

“This really can’t be blamed too much on—me,” Dou Sheng sighed. “I happened to be learning dialects those two days. The task came very suddenly. My mom said on the phone that she didn’t know what Auntie Xiao’s child looked like now, only had a childhood photo for reference. I referenced it—good lord, small leather shoes, small trench coat, wearing a hairpin, and looking cute and lovely. Wasn’t that a girl? Just as everyone was urging me to livestream, I just streamed casually to test my dialect learning results. I—”

Xie Lan heard ringing in his ears.

His fist hardened. “Can you speak slower? I can’t keep up!”

“……”

Dou Sheng slammed on the brakes, staring wide-eyed at Xie Lan for a few seconds before his voice collapsed. “The meaning is, I’m sorry.”

Xie Lan panted, glaring at him. “Post an explanation immediately.”

“Don’t explain,” Dou Sheng looked somewhat helpless. “You don’t understand my fans. They are the naughtiest, most trouble-making bunch on the internet. There is not a shred of trust between me and my fans. Clarifying will only make them overthink.”

“You are farting (bullshitting),” Xie Lan used the vulgar language he had just learned from Che Ziming after school. “Will you post it or not?”

Dou Sheng sighed and leaned back against the wall. “Really, trust me once. It’s for your own good. Don’t post it.”

“I trust you?” Xie Lan felt his fist harden again. “Are you posting it or not?”

“……”

After a long time, Dou Sheng sighed.

“I’m out of ideas.” He took the phone gloomily. “Try it then. Hope this bunch of LSPs (Old Perverts) can still be saved.”

Xie Lan glanced at him coldly. “What is LSP?”

“……” Dou Sheng paused. “People who will shed tears for your cuteness.”

Xie Lan raised his hand and slapped him.

“Why are you hitting people?” Dou Sheng rubbed his shoulder, a bit angry and a bit amused. “No respect for your elders.”

Xie Lan watched him type coldly, not speaking.

Dou Sheng was indeed older than him. Zhao Wenying said his birthday was at the end of February, and Dou Sheng’s was in August of the previous year, exactly half a year apart.

But so what? Respectfully calling him Big Cat didn’t mean he could pull rank based on age.

“Hurry up,” Xie Lan urged. “Resolve this matter tonight.”

Dou Sheng curled his lip. “You’re fiercer than Party A (the client).”

“Who is Party A?” Xie Lan stood up annoyed. “I’m going to shower. I’ll look when I come out.”

Dou Sheng sighed behind his back. “Doesn’t even know who Party A is…”

“You have so many friends, how would I know? How many days have I been back in the country?” Xie Lan was irritable. “Post it quickly.”

When Xie Lan came out of the shower, it was already 10:30. Through the wall, four kittens were meowing, and Dou Sheng was coaxing them intermittently.

Low and gentle, different from his usual coldness or glibness in front of people.

A bit like the few times he came to talk to Xie Lan in the middle of the night.

Xie Lan raised his voice and shouted, “Posted?”

“Posted!” Dou Sheng shouted back. “I brewed for twenty minutes, did my best!”

Xie Lan hmphed and found his phone to look.

@Ren Jian Jue Shuai Dou: Oh, forgot to mention. Just saw the comments and suddenly remembered, the person picked up last time wasn’t a girl, it was a boy. Those causing a ruckus can disperse now.

Just this short paragraph took twenty minutes?

Xie Lan ran next door, clutching his phone. “Is this all the words?”

Dou Sheng sighed. “You don’t understand. If I write it long, they’ll think I’m guilty. If I write it short, they’ll think I’m not serious. Let’s just leave it like this.”

This seemed sincere enough. Xie Lan’s temper paused slightly. “Alright, let’s leave it like this then.”

As he spoke, he felt two streams of water dripping down his neck, flowing into his collar along his pajamas.

“Dry your hair a bit more,” Dou Sheng pulled the towel from his hand and covered his head with it. “Hurry, go dry it.”

When lifting his hand, Dou Sheng’s fingers brushed past Xie Lan’s forehead. Maybe because he had been under the air conditioner for a long time, or maybe because Xie Lan was hot from the shower, the touched spot felt cool. The cool sensation didn’t dissipate for a long time.

He stood there dazed for two seconds for no reason, then covered the towel and said, “Oh.”

Back at the desk in his room, Xie Lan still maintained the posture of covering the towel with his hands. It took a long time before he slowly started drying his hair.

It was strange. Every time Dou Sheng touched him or accidentally brushed past him, that sense of presence was very strong.

Maybe this was the talent of people with good-looking hands.

Xie Lan muttered a sentence and fished out the English test paper.

There wasn’t much homework today. Other subjects were done; only four reading comprehension passages are left for English.

Doing English was actually a bit strenuous for him. It was only after returning to China that he realized he didn’t understand grammar or reading comprehension at all.

Quickly read the first article.

Very strange. The beginning talked about plants being beneficial to people’s physical and mental health, the later part changed to modifying plants to make them glow, and the end changed again to the huge loss of electricity in transmission in the US.

Question 1: What is this article mainly about?

A. Benefits of plants to people and society.

B. What plant modification can bring?

C. The government should reduce the distance of power transmission.

D. Glowing plants can help the country save electricity.

C was definitely wrong.

Xie Lan fell into a five-minute contemplation over the remaining three options. After a long time, he hesitantly chose A.

Thought it was wrong, changed to D.

He took a breath and quickly flipped to the answer—B.

“……”

Ridiculous.

Four reading passages. By the time Xie Lan persuaded himself question by question according to the standard answers, it was almost midnight.

He breathed a sigh of relief. Touching his phone, he remembered the “Cousin” matter again.

That Weibo post already had over a thousand comments.

Xie Lan scrolled down the top comments.

–I believe your evil (I don’t believe you).

–Understood. Hiding a beauty in a golden house, hehe.

–You’ve really got some nerve.

-Understood, understood, okok, mmhmm mmhmm.

Xie Lan was a bit confused reading this. One moment, he felt they believed it, the next he felt it was a bit… weirdly sarcastic (Ying-yang guai-qi).

He opened the door and glanced next door.

It was pitch black under Dou Sheng’s door crack. The small sign on the door hung there arrogantly—Business Closed for Today.

Xie Lan hesitated, but went back to his room, turned off the lights, and got into bed. He looked at the night sky outside the gap in the curtains in the dark. After a long time, he took out his phone and sent a WeChat message to Dou Sheng.

[Asleep?]

Dou Sheng replied instantly.

[Asleep.]

“……”

How do you send messages if you’re asleep?

Xie Lan speechlessly sent a screenshot of the top Weibo comments to the chat box.

[What does “I believe your evil” mean? Did they believe it or not?]

Silence on the other end for ten seconds.

[Considered believed.]

[Really don’t overthink it. Leave it for a while and this matter will pass. Hurry and sleep.]

Xie Lan breathed a sigh of relief.

[Good that they believed. By the way, what does “Hiding a beauty in a golden house” (Jin Wu Cang Jiao) mean?]

This time, the silence was a bit longer.

[Golden house means a very beautiful house. Jin Wu Cang Jiao means there are treasures in the house, and the owner is very charming (Jiao Mei). It describes a rich beauty.]

Xie Lan fell into confusion over this explanation.

[Does beauty refer to me?]

[Of course not, refers to my mom.]

[This comment has nothing to do with you. Just lamenting that my house is big. Didn’t the video just now show the house?]

[My fans love to make a fuss about nothing, looking like they haven’t seen the world. I can’t be bothered to scold them. Ignore it.]

Oh.

Xie Lan thought about it. True.

Zhao Wenying was a petite and bright woman, very rich from doing business. The walls of the house were hung with art that looked expensive at a glance. Porcelain was displayed in the entrance, hallway, and under the stairs. Once passing by her bedroom, he accidentally glimpsed a jewelry stand on the vanity that made one’s jaw drop.

Indeed, it could be said there were treasures in the house.

Xie Lan relaxed and couldn’t help sending two more sentences.

[Your fans aren’t as naughty as you say. See, they believed it.]

[You should treat your fans well.]

[Yeah, yeah, yeah, hurry and sleep, begging, begging you.]

Xie Lan sighed and tossed the phone aside.

Dou Sheng was a bit of a failure as an Uploader. His fans were clearly easy to talk to, yet he talked behind their backs, saying they were naughty and lacked trust in him.

Pitifully, having only one million fans to begin with, he still didn’t treat them better.

Thinking of this, he picked up his phone again and tried searching for the four characters “Gong Zi Ye Shen” (Young Master Night God).

There really was one. Ye Shen’s Weibo ID was the same as his Bilibili ID.

The latest post was from half an hour ago. Two pictures, one link. The first picture was a plate of BBQ skewers, the second was a bright pink electric guitar.

@Gong Zi Ye Shen: Been secretly learning music. In a blink, it’s been almost a month. Arranged and found a friend to remix a small segment for you guys to listen to. Go easy on me. Bye.

Xie Lan fished out his earphones and put them on.

Low-fi style electronic music, mainly electric guitar, mixed with bass, drum beats, synthesizer, and Chinese-style strings during the fade-out.

Lying on the bed, Xie Lan rolled a massive eye.

Even if God pressed the heads of juvenile Beethoven, Mozart, Les Paul, and Leo Fender together, they couldn’t learn to this level in a month.

He clicked out speechlessly. Upon refreshing, this person posted two more updates.

@Gong Zi Ye Shen: Alright, a few more words. Learning new things because I don’t want to be a salted fish (slacker) anymore. Since getting Top 100, I’ve experienced a period of fluctuating mentality. Both happy and panicked, knowing deeply I don’t deserve this title. Having all this is because of you guys.

@Gong Zi Ye Shen: I, love, love, love you guys very much. Goodnight.

Didn’t quite understand the first few sentences. Learning new things, not wanting to be a salted fish—sounded like he planned to be a food UP? But he posted music, a bit confusing.

But he understood the latter part.

This person gave Xie Lan the feeling that was indeed similar to what Dou Sheng’s fans said—his “image” was very good. From a professional point of view, maintaining a close relationship with fans in this industry was a matter of course and should even be recognized.

But probably due to the Big Cat filter, Xie Lan felt this person’s face was hypocritical.

He sighed, deciding to check Dou Sheng’s Weibo one last time before sleeping.

—Someone who said goodnight ten minutes ago just posted another one.

@Ren Jian Jue Shuai Dou: Hey, I already explained it, is there no end? Talking about those who just used the excuse of asking about the cat to ask about other things. Why is each one of you so annoying? Is it because you haven’t been beaten by me?

“……”

That other guy: I love, love, love you guys so much.

This guy next door: Why are you so annoying? Is it because you haven’t been beaten by me?

Xie Lan rolled his second massive eye of the night at the ceiling.