The weather only started to cool down after eight in the evening. Yu Fei returned from home, and as soon as he entered Xie Lan and Dou Sheng’s room, he saw Che Ziming sitting in Wang Gou’s seat; neither Wang Gou nor Dai You were there.

“Where are those two?” Yu Fei asked, casually tossing the barbecue he’d bought onto the table.

Che Ziming immediately started untying the bag. “Out buying Cokes, they’ll be back in a second.”

Yu Fei gave an “oh” and slumped into Dai You’s chair with a sigh. “I only got to go home for a quick nap before having to rush back. This is too bitter.”

“Is this the young master’s first time living at school? You should thank the provincial training camp for giving you a chance to experience the hardships of the common folk,” Che Ziming said as he pulled out a large handful of skewers and handed them to Dou Sheng.

Dou Sheng picked through the tinfoil-wrapped bundle, selected a non-spicy skewer, and handed it to Xie Lan. “Baby beef.”

Xie Lan, head down writing a chorus, said, “You eat first.”

“It won’t be tender if you wait.”

As Dou Sheng spoke, he held the meat to Xie Lan’s lips. Xie Lan leaned over and bit off a few pieces. Dou Sheng carefully pulled the skewer back. “Good?”

Xie Lan nodded. “Not bad.”

Slumped in Dai You’s chair, Yu Fei witnessed this entire scene with wide eyes.

“I say,” he said half-deadly, “is there a camera around here? Are you guys filming a video?”

Dou Sheng had intended to pick another skewer to feed his boyfriend, but hearing this, he pulled his hand back. “No. Isn’t this pretty normal?”

Xie Lan’s hand holding the pen stiffened for a moment before he continued writing.

He and Dou Sheng were becoming increasingly intimate, and both were gradually losing their sense of where to draw the line. For instance, the feeding was too natural—so natural they forgot to restrain themselves. Even if they could justify it, being called out still made them feel a bit guilty.

Just as Xie Lan was wondering if he should “patch” the situation with an explanation, he suddenly heard Yu Fei shout, “Holy crap!”

Che Ziming had extended a skewer of roasted lamb kidney to Yu Fei’s lips, looking down coyly as he crooned, “Fei-yu-yu, open wide~”

Yu Fei sat up in a shock, kicked off the floor, and rolled himself and his chair two meters back. “Are you sick in the head?”

“Huh?” Che Ziming looked utterly innocent. “What’s wrong with a good bro feeding you a skewer? Come on, open up. Your brother here is helping you nourish your kidneys.”

For the first time in his life, Xie Lan saw Yu Fei’s eyes open completely wide.

Yu Fei snatched the lamb kidney from Che Ziming’s hand. “I don’t need you! I’ll eat it myself!”

“No way.” Che Ziming stubbornly dodged his hand. “I insist on feeding you.”

Xie Lan frowned at Che Ziming: You’re overacting.

Che Ziming, however, seemed encouraged. “Am I no longer your best bro?”

“…You were, but until you cure your insanity, you aren’t anymore.” Yu Fei pushed him away irritably. “Eat your own food. I’m going to wash my hands.”

He walked out with a look of utter speechlessness. Once the footsteps faded, the fawning look on Che Ziming’s face vanished, and he collapsed.

“I’m working so hard,” Che Ziming said, taking a vicious bite of the lamb kidney.

Dou Sheng suggested tactfully, “In addition to your hard work, you could try being a bit more natural.”

Che Ziming sneered. “That’s enough. You guys have too high a standard for acting. Who the hell can pull that off?”

---

On the other side of the corridor, Yu Fei finished washing his hands and ran straight into Dai You and Wang Gou, who were returning with Cokes.

“The barbecue is back,” Yu Fei said listlessly. “Go eat.”

Wang Gou handed him an icy Coke. “What’s up? Your ‘unhappiness index’ seems to be rising again today?”

“No.” Yu Fei pursed his lips and popped the Coke open, sighing. “I’m just… disgusted.”

He thought about it carefully for a moment. “The root of the problem is still Dou-zi. One ‘showy’ person ruins everyone else. I think Xie Lan and Che Ziming aren’t acting very normal now, either.”

Dai You and Wang Gou exchanged a subtle, silent look.

Yu Fei took two gulps of Coke and suddenly hissed. “Don’t you guys think Dou-zi calls him ‘boyfriend’ a bit too frequently?”

“Not really.” Dai You gave a faint smile. “It’s normal to joke around. Wang Gou and I play around like that too.”

Yu Fei was stunned. “Play what?”

Dai You remained silent and shot Wang Gou a look.

Wang Gou gave a cheeky grin, grabbed Dai You’s arm, and shook it vigorously. “Ge-ge (Big Brother)!”

Yu Fei: “?”

“Latte Ge-ge,” Wang Gou pouted. “Can you buy a scoop of ice cream for this little dirt dog from the countryside?”

Yu Fei: “!”

Dai You instinctively leaned his neck forward as if he were about to gag, but he quickly regained his composure and asked dotingly, “What flavor does the little dirt dog want?”

“Fuck! Both of you stay the hell away from me!” Yu Fei immediately clutched his chest and turned back the way he came. “I’m not eating anymore. You guys have it.”

---

Inside the room, Xie Lan was polishing the chorus of his fan song. He looked up to see only Dai You and Wang Gou returning and asked casually, “Did you see Yu Fei?”

Dai You took a skewer. “He has a bit of heatstroke; he went back to his room to sleep.”

Hearing this, Dou Sheng turned back and gave Che Ziming a meaningful look. Look what you’ve done.

Che Ziming blinked, feeling a bit guilty. “Uh, then I’ll take some back to the room to eat and check if Yu Fei is okay.”

“Sure,” Dai You said, his expression unchanged. “The rest of us already had dinner, so don’t leave too much behind. Take more for him.”

After midnight, everyone in the dorm was asleep. Xie Lan finished reading a competition math problem on his phone and reached his hand over the railing, tapping twice on Dou Sheng’s pillow.

This was the strategy they’d agreed upon to “be restrained”—tapping the pillow meant “goodnight,” replacing their former goodnight kisses.

Dou Sheng tapped back on Xie Lan’s pillow, put his phone away, and rolled over to sleep.

A long time passed.

In his sleep, Wang Gou seemed to roll over unconsciously. A few seconds later, Dai You also turned over.

With tacit understanding, they pulled their blankets over their heads to communicate secretly.

– Wang Gou Wang Wang: Why did they stop their “activities” lately…?

– Latte Coffee: I was wondering the same thing.

– Wang Gou Wang Wang: They couldn’t have had a fight, right?

– Latte Coffee: They looked normal during the day, but it’s hard to say.

– Wang Gou Wang Wang: Did we do something wrong and get caught?

– Latte Coffee: No. If Dou-zi found out, he’d come talk to us; he wouldn’t play dumb.

– Wang Gou Wang Wang: Then they must have fought. Xie Lan has a bit of a temper; maybe Dou-zi upset him.

– Latte Coffee: Yeah, possibly.

In the humid summer night, Xie Lan was drifting in and out of sleep. In his daze, he vaguely heard his two roommates sigh one after the other.

– Wang Gou Wang Wang: So worrying. It’s been several days now. Xie Lan isn’t going to break up with Dou-zi, is he?

– Latte Coffee: I hope not. Dou-zi is my brother; he shouldn’t have to suffer like that. [Wiping tears GIF]

– Latte Coffee: Sigh, but we can only pray for them. It’s not our place to interfere…

– Wang Gou Wang Wang: True. We can only pray.

---

The next morning, while Xie Lan and Dou Sheng were buying breakfast at the cafeteria, Xie Lan tagged everyone in the group chat to ask what they wanted to eat. When he got to Wang Gou, he froze.

He thought his eyes were playing tricks on him.

– Afternoon Grape Ice: What is up with your name? @May we be united forever and never part, I beg of you

Wang Gou replied quickly: My second cousin and his wife are having some relationship drama. It’s fine. Bring me two meat buns.

Dou Sheng scrolled through the chat and commented offhandedly, “That’s the first time I’ve seen someone use a WeChat nickname to pray for family. They should go to a temple. My mom said that little temple to the north has great incense and is very effective; you can pray for anything there. It’s not far from school.”

– May we be united forever and never part, I beg of you: …Good point.

---

Entering mid-July, the heat waves came one after another as if they would never end. Just running out to buy water during break could result in a sunburned neck. Every day, one or two people suffered from heatstroke.

Air conditioners and fans were running in the classroom, and Old Ma delivered mung bean slushies every afternoon, yet more and more people found it hard to cope.

Besides the heat, the provincial training was becoming increasingly brutal. Both coaches were the type to talk little but act strictly. Since students were drowsy in the heat, they did rapid-fire problem-solving and evaluations every afternoon. If you got stuck, you had to stand for twenty minutes. The whole class would cycle through this three or four times an afternoon; Xie Lan usually had to stand once or twice.

While everyone else complained, he was doing alright. Standing for a bit helped wake him up. What mattered was maintaining his condition and his volume of practice.

Perhaps because he was doing so many problems, he digested Old Ma’s “extra lessons” well. He could basically figure out the several types of convoluted “traps” by now. The complex real exam questions from previous years were nothing more than those few patterns. After half a month of targeted training, his solving speed was gradually picking up.

On the Sunday morning of the second week, Coach Kang added a surprise test. Xie Lan opened the paper and finished the first fill-in-the-blank question in two minutes. Just as he was about to move on quickly, he felt something was off.

His gaze returned to the top—

[In the plane rectangular coordinate system $xOy$, Circle $A$ has exactly one common point with the parabola $y^2 = 4x$, and Circle $A$ is tangent to the x-axis at the focus $F$ of the parabola. Find the radius of Circle $A$.]

What kind of divine question was this?

He was stunned for a moment, then flipped through the rest of the pages.

They were all questions written in “human language.”

Confused, Xie Lan picked up the kraft paper envelope and confirmed his name was written on it.

A normal exam paper!!

Dou Sheng nudged him with his elbow and whispered, “What’s wrong? You look suddenly very excited.”

“Nothing, nothing.” Xie Lan suppressed his inner joy and pulled over his scratch paper to write furiously. “I’m answering the questions. I will definitely finish the paper today.”

Unaware of the truth, Dou Sheng just hummed. “Good luck.”

---

They were dismissed after handing in the papers. Before leaving, Coach Kang posted the scores from last night’s daily test in the group chat, along with the standard answers, for everyone to check.

In last night’s test, Xie Lan’s rank rose to 28th. He finished eleven and a half out of fifteen questions. His speed hadn’t improved much, but every question he did was correct.

Li Yuening came back after checking the scores and smiled at him. “So steady. You’re consistently moving up.”

Li Yuening had been locked in a fierce battle with Dai You for third place lately. Neither could catch up to Dou Sheng or Geng Rui, but they were neck-and-neck. Li Yuening had performed better than Dai You in the last two daily tests, and his demeanor was much more relaxed.

Xie Lan, still savoring the long-lost thrill of a smooth exam experience, just nodded casually. “Slowly returning to my pre-qualifier level, I guess.”

“Huh?” Li Yuening was taken aback, then laughed. “You’re quite mysterious. If the league exam leans heavy on geometry and light on functions this year, you might actually become a legend.”

His phone vibrated. Old Ma had sent a text.

– Did today’s test feel good? Seeing your rhythm looks good, the goal of the extra training has been achieved. I’m starting to reduce the pressure for you.

While Li Yuening was complaining about the recent workload, Xie Lan nodded absently and immediately replied to Old Ma: But I haven’t fully finished a paper yet. Yesterday was my best, and I only did eleven.

Old Ma: As long as you can read through and understand complex questions correctly, that’s enough. Don’t feel you have to finish the whole paper; the official competition won’t have traps in every single question. You haven’t misread a question in the last few tests.

Xie Lan thought back.

It was true. Over the last few days, every question he had time to answer, he got right. He hadn’t made any blunders.

Was the period of suffering finally over?

Xie Lan breathed a sigh of relief, his mood significantly brightening.

---

This Sunday afternoon was a bit busy. He had to adjust the demo for the Jian Qi fan song and also provide a voiceover for Dou Sheng’s video.

Dou Sheng hadn’t had time to organize the massive library of footage for the “Pretend Boyfriend VLOG” during the training camp. To fill the gap, he had gone out in the middle of the night a few days ago to film a challenge: sitting on the ground in front of the security guard post eating late-night snacks. He didn’t speak the whole time and needed Xie Lan to do the voiceover in post-production.

Since Dai You and Wang Gou weren’t in the dorm, Dou Sheng finished editing the clip and smilingly presented the laptop to Xie Lan, leaning down to kiss the top of his head. “Hard work, boyfriend.”

Xie Lan glanced at the dark, windy scene on the screen. “You’re sure I can voice it however I want?”

“Sure.” Dou Sheng smiled. “One take is fine; even slips of the tongue are okay. It’s just a filler video—people love it when it’s funny.”

“…” So professional.

Xie Lan sighed, fished the recorder out from a pile of batteries and hard drives, and connected it to the computer. “Then don’t you make a sound.”

“Mm-hmm.”

The opening was absurd. Dou Sheng was sitting cross-legged on the concrete ground at the school gate, leaning against the security post, right under the guard’s window.

In front of him stood a small stool holding a box of fried chicken, a bowl of ramen, and an unopened can of Coke.

Xie Lan skipped forward a few times with a cold face, confirming this was just a pure “looking-for-trouble” mukbang video, then dragged it back to the beginning.

He turned on the recorder.

“Hello everyone, I’m Xie Lan. Today I’ll be playing Dou-zi.”

“Ah, after returning to China, my speaking skills have truly progressed by leaps and bounds. Before, I struggled with listening and repeating, but now I can do silent simultaneous interpretation for others.”

“Let’s begin.”

For the first ten seconds, Dou Sheng was gesturing and mouthing words exaggeratedly to the camera, but there was no sound.

Xie Lan sighed, leaned back in his chair, and imitated Dou Sheng’s usual way of speaking.

“Hello everyone, I am your long-awaited, Peerlessly Handsome Dou. I’m back. Today, I’m doing a little challenge.”

As he said this, Dou Sheng on screen happened to pinch his thumb and index finger together to make a “little” gesture. It matched perfectly.

“The content of this challenge is… ah, ‘The Security Uncle Wandering in the Void.’ Yes, I don’t care what name Dou Sheng wants to give it; this is the name I’m giving it. Today we’re eating… fried chicken, yay~” Xie Lan watched the guy on the screen flash a peace sign and used his coldest tone to dub the most cheerful sound: “And this, ta-da! Coke! Ramen! Hehehe, unexpected, right? It’s the spicy ramen that Xie Lan classmate hates the most.”

“This fried chicken is so crispy, listen to me bite into it… oh right, you can’t hear it, he didn’t record any audio… well, whatever, just watch him perform.”

In the footage, Dou Sheng was focused on eating the chicken. Behind the glass of the security booth, the top of the guard’s hat was faintly visible; he was fast asleep.

Xie Lan sighed and switched to his own voice. “Do you think he’s uncomfortable sitting there? The school has been so hot lately; the ground is scorching even at night.”

“Oh, he’s talking again. What is he saying… ‘Look how fast I eat? I swallow ramen without chewing; I truly have a one-in-a-million throat.’ Yeah, probably something like that. Why is he still talking? Hmm… I guess he’s saying, ‘It’s a good thing I didn’t tell Xie Lan about today’s plan, or he’d kill me and I wouldn’t be able to fly on my sword anymore…'”

Dou Sheng couldn’t help but interject from the side, “For the record, I cannot fly on a sword under any circumstances…”

“Shut up. Are you recording this or am I?” Xie Lan interrupted him crossly.

Dou Sheng immediately shrunk back. “Please, continue.”

Xie Lan huffed, leaned closer to the mic, and went on: “That voice just now wasn’t me. It might have been a stray cat passing by in the video. Please ignore it.”

Dou Sheng let out a sigh beside him and couldn’t help but chuckle softly.

The video was seven or eight minutes long. Between the roasting and the nonsense, Xie Lan finally finished the voiceover, but upon listening back, he realized a lot of Dou Sheng’s noises had been caught.

Besides that one interruption, every time he used Dou Sheng’s tone to say “Xie Lan classmate,” Dou Sheng would make a regretful “tsk” sound in the background.

Xie Lan took off the headphones. “I said ‘Xie Lan classmate,’ isn’t that right?”

“Wrong.” Dou Sheng shook his head. “We’re in the ‘Pretend Boyfriend’ challenge phase. If I were introducing you, I’d definitely say ‘my boyfriend, Xie Lan.'”

Xie Lan: “…”

I can’t say it, thanks.

“Add one more line.” Dou Sheng leaned over from behind him, wrapping his arms around him, and plugged the recorder back in.

His voice sounded perfectly serious through the headphones.

“Viewers, this is the post-production Dou-zi. I noticed Xie Lan didn’t introduce himself correctly while imitating me. We’re giving him a chance to do it again.”

Xie Lan frowned. “You said I could voice it however I wanted.”

“A mistake in title cannot be made.” Dou Sheng’s tone was solemn as he pushed the mic toward Xie Lan’s lips. “Hurry up, I need to upload this.”

Xie Lan: “…”

The blue indicator light on the recorder flashed steadily. He remained unmoved. After a few seconds of silent standoff, Dou Sheng suddenly leaned down and kissed the side of his neck.

“!”

Though he held his breath to avoid making a sound, the hot, ticklish sensation made the hair on Xie Lan’s arms stand up.

The indicator light was still flashing. After a long moment, Xie Lan finally surrendered.

He cleared his throat, leaned into the mic, and whispered in imitation of Dou Sheng’s tone: “Hello everyone, the one doing the voiceover for this video is my boyfriend, Xie Lan.”

As soon as the words were out, he felt incredibly awkward, and the back of his ears began to heat up. Xie Lan pressed his hand against Dou Sheng’s shoulder, pushed him away silently, and gave him a sharp glare.

Only then did Dou Sheng say with satisfaction, “Alright, we’re done.”

Done my foot.

Xie Lan was speechless. After Dou Sheng moved the laptop away, Xie Lan wanted to export his demo for a test listen, but he just stared at the software for a long time without making a move.

That last sentence he’d recorded was still haunting his mind.

“Is it really okay?” he couldn’t help asking. “Listen closely and see if any other noises were caught.”

Dou Sheng was rummaging for high-fidelity headphones. “I know, probably not. I’ll check it carefully a few more times.”

Xie Lan gave an “mm.”

Dou Sheng added some final touches to the video, clicking the mouse occasionally. After a while, he suddenly said, “What do you think the audience would do if they really knew we were a couple?”

Xie Lan felt a bit lost. “I don’t know. What do you think?”

Dou Sheng’s tone was casual. “I wouldn’t admit it publicly, but I’d give them little things to catch on to, piece by piece. The ideal balance in this country is to have everyone know it in their hearts but have no one poke too deep.”

Xie Lan hummed in agreement. Just as he was about to say more, he heard footsteps and the voices of Dai You and Wang Gou outside.

The door pushed open, and Wang Gou walked in carrying a paper bag. Dai You followed behind him, carrying two plastic bags of supermarket goods.

Dou Sheng glanced over. “You were at the supermarket that long?”

“We wandered around some other places too,” Wang Gou replied, then told him excitedly, “Dai You and I had the most amazing milk-flavored mantou (steamed bun) today! We saved one for you and Xie Lan to try.”

As he spoke, he pulled a paper box out of the bag. Inside was a snow-white mantou with a red streak on the surface, looking as if someone had dipped a finger in red food coloring and swiped it across.

Wang Gou pulled out a pair of disposable chopsticks and held the bun up to Dou Sheng. “Try it.”

“What even is this?” Dou Sheng frowned. Since the thing was practically shoved in his face, he took a casual bite and smacked his lips. “There’s no milk flavor. It’s just a plain white mantou. This is what you call good?”

Dai You grabbed a towel to wipe the sweat from his face and neck. “We stood in line for it. We waited all afternoon.”

Dou Sheng said bluntly, “You probably only thought it was good because you were hungry from waiting. This is just ‘Internet celebrity’ marketing.”

He stood up to go to the bathroom. As soon as he left, Wang Gou enthusiastically held the half-eaten bun up to Xie Lan’s lips.

Xie Lan hesitated. “I don’t really want to eat it.”

Eating a plain bun was just… a bit weird.

“Just try it, please. Dai You and I stood in line until our knees almost gave out.” Wang Gou’s eyes were earnest. “Please, just one bite.”

“…”

Fine.

Xie Lan helplessly opened his mouth and took a bite from the other side of the bun.

“How is it?” Wang Gou asked. “Do you feel anything magical?”

“…” Dou Sheng was right; it was just a regular bun.

Xie Lan tasted it carefully, swallowed it with a heart full of speechlessness, and looked in the mirror to find some red pigment smeared on his lip. He rubbed at it with his fingertip for a while but couldn’t get it off, so he stood up to wash it.

As he brushed past Dai You and Wang Gou, he noticed a strange smell on them.

It was a bit like a certain sandalwood-scented body wash Zhao Wenying used—the one Dou Sheng had mocked for being too “authentic nunnery style,” which she had only used once.

“You two should take a shower,” Xie Lan said tactfully at the door. “You’re covered in sweat. You’ll feel fresher after a wash.”

“Will do, will do,” Wang Gou nodded repeatedly, turning back to raise an eyebrow at Dai You.

Dai You curled his lips in a silent smile.

By the time Xie Lan finished washing up and returned, the two of them had already packed everything away. The supermarket bags had been thrown out, and the shampoo they’d bought for him and Dou Sheng was placed on their desks.

the paper bag and box that held the mantou had vanished. They weren’t in the dorm trash can, and there was no sign of how the other half of the bun had been handled; it was just gone.

Xie Lan didn’t think much of it. He changed his pants and headed out to eat with Dou Sheng, tagging everyone in the group chat along the way to see if they wanted any snacks.

When he reached Wang Gou, Xie Lan breathed a sigh of relief.

“I guess his second cousin and his wife made up.”

“Hmm?” Dou Sheng was interacting with fans on Weibo and looked up distractedly. “What?”

Xie Lan waved his phone at him. “Gou-zi changed his nickname back.”

It was back to Wang Gou Wang Wang.

It was followed by a laughing emoji that looked quite mischievous.