The wind swept rapidly past his ears.

It swept away the screeching ringing in his ears, and it swept away all the chaos in his brain…

Fan Jun heard the muffled thud as the two of them smashed heavily onto the fifth-floor platform.

From the massive impact of the landing, he could feel Fan Gang’s sharp ribs almost as if they were going to embed into his body.

Bang.

Mixed with a slight sound of shattering.
Like the occasional sound of someone throwing a large bag of garbage directly down from a high floor.

The vanished ringing in his ears allowed the entire world and the pain to return to Fan Jun’s body simultaneously.

All around, he could hear the sound of people opening windows to check, and terrified screams.

He lay on top of Fan Gang, panting heavily, every breath tasting of blood.

Fan Gang’s gun had slipped from his grasp, landing two meters away. But the man was not dead; his chest was heaving, and his eyes were staring right at him.

When Fan Jun tried to push himself up from the ground, he realized his left forearm was broken.

Fan Gang looked at his arm and suddenly started laughing, blood between his teeth.

His right arm was fine.
Fan Jun pushed himself up with his right hand and looked down at Fan Gang. Blood seeping from an unknown source fell drop by drop onto Fan Gang’s face.

“I’ll take you…” Fan Gang struggled to prop his head up, leaning close to him, “to see… your mom…”

Fan Jun didn’t say a word, simply lowering his head and violently headbutting Fan Gang in the face.

Zou Yang could hear his own heavy breathing. As he untwisted the iron wire wrapped around his neck loop by loop, his hands trembled along with his breath.

When the iron wire was pulled from his sliced skin, all the numbness in his body was instantly jolted awake by the pain.

As he bent down to untie the wire around his ankles, every breath brought a squeezing pain from his chest and abdomen. He panted as if his throat were stuffed with red-hot iron filings.

After struggling to remove the wire from his feet, he used the wall to stand up. He had no time to figure out what hurt or what could bear weight. He rushed to the door, opened it, grabbed the fallen shoe rack, and hurled it fiercely at the door of the old man’s apartment across the hall.

Then he lunged over and used the wire to tightly bind the short man’s hands behind his back. The man was motionless, whether dead or alive was unknown.

His hands shook so violently he could barely hold anything.
Fear.
Anxiety.
Tears mixed with blood dripped onto the back of his hands.

He wanted to rush to the window immediately to check on Fan Jun’s condition, but he had to secure the short man first. This was the chance Fan Jun had fought for with his life.

The door across the hall opened, and the old man walked out cursing.
Then he walked back in cursing. When he saw the people lying on the floor and the blood-soaked Zou Yang, he let out a terrified scream.

He turned and ran back in, shouting as he ran: “Murder! Murder—Someone’s murdering in 702—”

Call the police!
Zou Yang roared too.
But he suddenly realized he couldn’t make any sound.

He ignored everything else. Once the short man was tied up, he lunged toward the windowsill.

Leaning over the window frame covered in shattered glass, Zou Yang saw two people lying motionless on the fifth-floor platform below.

On the left was Fan Gang, on the right was Fan Jun.

He didn’t know where his glasses went. From a distance of two floors, he couldn’t see Fan Jun’s condition at all.
The only thing he could see was Fan Jun’s white T-shirt, almost completely dyed dark red.

Fan Jun! Fan Jun!

His throat felt like it had been burned to ashes, unable to produce a complete sound.

And the current Fan Jun couldn’t see the shape of his mouth, offering him no response whatsoever.

From the side of the platform, he could see the open space downstairs. Neighbors from the adjacent buildings had all come out, gathering below.

A police motorcycle with flashing lights turned out from behind the building, and sirens could be heard coming from the direction of the small street.

Hurry up.
Hurry.

Fan Jun is on the fifth-floor platform.

The last bit of strength in Zou Yang’s body was slowly being drained away. His hands gripping the shattered glass on the windowsill began to lose power, and finally, he slid down along the edge of the sill and sat on the floor.

As the old man across the hall shouted “Murder!” again and ran back inside, he closed his eyes, plunging into an empty darkness.

What does it feel like to be dead?
Does it feel like this?

Zou Yang opened his eyes wide, but all he saw was pitch black.
Blind.
What happened?
Where am I?

He could hear chaotic voices talking, but couldn’t distinguish what was being said. It sounded as if it were coming through a thick sheet of plastic, every word accompanied by a rustling, static friction noise.

But he couldn’t feel the existence of his body.
He couldn’t see anything.
He couldn’t think either.

His only sense seemed to be an incomplete sense of hearing.
And…
Fan Jun.
Where is Fan Jun?
How is Fan Jun?
Where is Fan Jun?

Time passed very slowly.

It was like being in a dream, where Zou Yang repeatedly climbed a snow mountain in the darkness.

He started to feel some things.
Very cold.
His body was very stiff. Every step he took, he could feel pain.
Climbing up three steps, sliding down five.
He could never reach the summit.

From somewhere far away, chaotic sounds began to emerge. Beeping, footsteps, crying, talking—sometimes far, sometimes near, unclear.

“Xiao Yang… can you hear Mom’s voice…”
“The situation is still unstable right now…”
“Xiao Yang, it’s Dad…”
“Mom is here, Xiao Yang… don’t scare Mom… What did you say? Mom can’t hear clearly… Can you say it again…”
“…Yang, it’s Mom… What… Fan Jun?”

Fan Jun.

Light began to appear all around.
He could see spots of light flashing back and forth.
The distant voices also slowly drew closer to him, appearing right by his ears.

Various sensations returned to his body from the chaos.
Breathing.
Pain.
Inability to move.

“No need, I can’t eat anything,” his mom’s voice carried a hint of blurriness. “You don’t need to bring me anything, you just stay over there and watch…”

“Mom?” Zou Yang struggled to open his mouth.

His throat was so dry it felt like it would crack.
But he heard his own voice.

“Xiao Yang? Xiao Yang!” His mom’s voice suddenly grew loud. “Nurse, nurse… he’s awake, my son is awake… Zou Yang is awake…”

“I’m thirsty.” Zou Yang could hear his own hoarse voice.
“The doctor is coming,” his mom gently stroked his face. “After the checkup in a bit, you can drink water, okay…”
“…Mm,” Zou Yang responded very softly.

“What’s your name?” asked the doctor standing by the bed.
“Zou Yang,” Zou Yang answered. As a flashlight’s beam swept across his eyes, he blinked.

“Where are you right now?” the doctor asked again.
“Hospital,” Zou Yang said.

“We’ll arrange for some tests shortly…” the doctor spoke quietly to his mom.

Two more doctors entered the ward. Zou Yang felt himself getting groggy again, like he had just woken up but lacked the comfort that usually follows waking; his whole body was uncomfortable.

He closed his eyes again, feeling like he was asleep, but seemingly not.

By the time he slowly fully awakened and began to feel the pain across his body, the sun outside the window was already slanting downward.

All his memories, blurry or clear, flooded back into his mind.

Zou Yang’s breathing instantly became somewhat rapid.

“Xiao Yang? You’re awake?” His mom, who had been sitting by the bed, leaned over and adjusted the oxygen tube on his face. “What’s wrong? Are you uncomfortable somewhere?”

“Where’s Fan Jun?” Zou Yang asked.

His mom’s expression visibly froze. It took her two seconds to softly say: “He’s fine, he’s also staying in the hospital.”

“Where?” Zou Yang’s vision flashed with the image of Fan Jun’s motionless body lying on the platform. “Is he badly hurt?”

“You just focus on resting and recovering. You’re badly hurt, Xiao Yang,” his mom said, her eyes starting to turn red. “Don’t worry about anything else for now, get some good rest.”

“Where’s Fan Gang?” Zou Yang asked.

“Dead, Fan Gang is dead,” his mom wiped her eyes. “He was dead on arrival at the hospital. It’s all over…”

“Is Fan Jun in… the next room?” Zou Yang asked.

His mom didn’t answer. She pressed her hand hard against her eyes and suddenly broke into sobs.

“Mom?” Zou Yang wanted to raise his hand to hug her, but his arm had no strength and was connected to a bunch of wires for who-knows-what.

“Mom told you, he’s fine, okay? He’s also in the hospital, that’s all you need to know. Stop thinking about him all the time,” his mom grabbed a tissue to wipe her tears, her voice trembling uncontrollably. “Look at you… Fan Gang did this to you…”

“I’m fine,” Zou Yang was a bit anxious. “I’m fine.”

“Mom knows, I know, you’re fine now,” his mom held his hand. “You rest well, don’t let your mind wander.”

“Fan Jun…” Zou Yang wanted to know more about Fan Jun’s condition. The scene of Fan Jun holding Fan Gang and crashing out the window flashed repeatedly in his mind, leaving him terrified again and again…

Fan Gang fired a gun, he heard it… Did it hit Fan Jun?
If he’s not dead, how badly is he hurt?

But his mom didn’t answer him again, crying as she quickly walked out of the ward.

Awake, groggy, asleep, awake…
Zou Yang had never felt time to be so agonizingly long, even though it had only been one night.

There were people talking outside the ward, and then someone pushed the door open and walked in.

Zou Yang turned his head and saw the doctor, followed by several police officers.

“Zou Yang, right?” A police officer walked over and leaned down to ask.
“Mm,” Zou Yang responded.

“We checked with Dr. Zhang, and he confirmed your condition is stable enough to communicate. We’ll try to keep it under twenty minutes. If you feel uncomfortable, just let us know,” the officer showed him his badge. “We want to ask you about the situation on the 21st, and we hope you can cooperate with us.”

“Mm.” Zou Yang’s heart suddenly tightened.

The officer nodded: “Now we need you to recall, starting from when Fan Gang broke in…”

With the officer’s words, the door that Fan Gang violently rammed open crashed back into Zou Yang’s memory, and all the pain and terror surged out in that instant.

From Fan Gang and his accomplice entering, to Xiao Bai and himself getting injured and restrained, to Fan Jun coming home… every detail carried suffocating dread and the smell of blood.

“Fan Gang had the gun in his hand when he entered…” The officer organized his somewhat chaotic answers. “He fired one shot before falling from the building…”

“Two shots,” Zou Yang said with great difficulty. Every word pulled at the injuries on his face and head, bringing waves of pain. “One shot seemed to hit the short guy… and another shot… was after Fan Jun grabbed him… I don’t know… after I tied up the short guy… I saw Fan Jun and… Fan Gang on the fifth-floor platform… they weren’t moving.”

“Okay,” the officer nodded. “Don’t be afraid, you’re safe now…”

“Where’s Fan Jun?” Zou Yang snapped back to reality. “How is Fan Jun?”

“He is also safe,” the officer said. “He is currently under isolated treatment. His life is not in danger, and he has already been transferred to a regular ward. Please don’t worry too much.”

Zou Yang fell silent and didn’t speak again.

Right now, the only thing he could be sure of was that Fan Jun was still alive.
Is that enough?
It’s enough.
Is it not enough?
Far from enough.

“Xiao Yang! You’re awake.”

His dad came in the afternoon. After the police questioning, Zou Yang had felt very stifled, staring blankly out the window.

When he heard his dad’s voice, he just felt a blockage in his chest; the heavy, suffocating feeling instantly made it hard to breathe.

He glanced toward the door. His dad wore a look of concern, while his mom, who followed him in, didn’t look too good.

“Dad.” He forced a slight pull at the corner of his mouth.

“When Dad came to see you a couple of days ago, you were still unconscious and hadn’t woken up. It wasn’t until I called your mom at noon that she told me you were awake…” His dad walked to the bed, placed a large bag he was carrying onto the table, and bent down to pat his head. “How do you feel?”

“I’m fine now,” Zou Yang said.

“How can you be fine?” His dad looked at the nursing care level displayed on the monitor at the head of his bed, frowned, and turned to look at his mom. “Just having a normal summer vacation, and you end up hurt like this…”

“An accident,” Zou Yang said.
“A completely avoidable accident,” his dad said. “An accident that absolutely shouldn’t have happened.”

“Why don’t you just say it’s because of me,” his mom chimed in.

“You…” His dad looked at her. “Xiao Yang just woke up, don’t say these things in front of him.”

“You started it. You didn’t come to see Xiao Yang at all,” his mom stared back at him, tears welling in her eyes. “You just came to blame me.”

“Shouldn’t you be blamed? Why did Xiao Yang go to a place like that? Why did he get to know people like that? Why did he get involved in such a vicious incident?” His dad kept his voice down but was somewhat agitated. “Isn’t it because of you?”

“Stop fighting,” Zou Yang said.

“If you want to scold me, go outside to do it.” His mom wiped her tears and covered her mouth.

“I’m not here to scold anyone, I’m here to see my son!” his dad said.
“You don’t deserve to.” His mom said with a sob, “You don’t deserve to say he’s your son!”

“Do you?” his dad retorted. “Look at what a perfectly good son has turned into under your care? Hanging around South Zhouping all day, even for a gangster boyfriend…”

Zou Yang violently raised his head, staring at his dad in shock. It felt as if a gale-force wind had swept past his ears, scattering all the words that followed.

“Why are you bringing this up!” His mom couldn’t help but yell, pushing his dad. “Get out!”

“Did I bring it up?” His dad pointed at Zou Yang. “Your son was thinking about this stuff even when he was unconscious. Did I make that up?! I didn’t want to mention it, but you had to be so aggressive…”

“I said it?” Zou Yang asked softly.

“Nonsense you said while you were unconscious,” his mom said. “It’s all nonsense.”

“I don’t want to argue about this with you right now,” his dad pushed her aside and walked back to the hospital bed. “Xiao Yang, let’s put these things aside. Dad doesn’t want to talk to you about this at a time like this…”

“Get out,” Zou Yang said.

“What?” His dad was stunned.
“You get out,” Zou Yang said.

His dad didn’t speak, just abruptly turned his head to look at his mom.

“I want to rest,” Zou Yang said. “Get out.”

“What kind of attitude is this? Is this how you treat your dad?” His dad looked at him in disbelief. “Are you…”

“I… don’t even know my boyfriend’s condition right now,” Zou Yang looked at him, his voice low, struggling to catch his breath, his head throbbing severely. “I’m not in the mood to talk.”

“Zou Yang?” His dad’s eyes were filled with fury.
“Yes?” Zou Yang responded calmly.

“Do you know what you’re saying?” his dad asked.
“I know,” Zou Yang said. “I’m not unconscious right now.”

His dad’s lips trembled, and he couldn’t utter a word for a long time.