“What marriage?”
“Who’s marrying?”
“Marrying whom?”

For a moment, Fan Jun genuinely felt like he’d misheard.

Or maybe someone’s phone had a short-video app still playing and not muted.

Or maybe he’d heard wrong—although Sister Shan had spoken right by his right ear, maybe the left one being damaged had somehow affected the hearing in the right one too…

He glanced at Sister Shan. It was obvious that asking that question had been very difficult for her too, so after asking it, she lowered her head and started stirring the dumplings in the pot. Vigorously.

Fan Jun watched as she stirred so hard that two dumplings were torn open.

Only then did he finally come back to himself and understand what she meant.

Sister Shan didn’t really understand this kind of thing, and she didn’t know how to express it properly. She only knew that Zou Yang had said he wanted to marry Fan Jun, so now she wanted to confirm whether Fan Jun also wanted to marry Zou Yang.

Sister Shan needed to know whether Zou Yang was just being one-sided.

Only after confirming that point could the conversation she actually wanted to have continue.

At that moment, Fan Jun didn’t know how to explain this to her… and of course, he probably never would be able to explain it properly anyway.

But in order to keep Sister Shan from feeling even more embarrassed, and to let the topic continue…

He could only nod and reply in a very low voice, “Mm.”

“…I see.” Sister Shan’s hand trembled a little. Maybe she’d gotten burned.

“I’ll do it.” Fan Jun quickly took the strainer from her hand.

Sister Shan stepped back a little and leaned against the stove, sighing softly without saying anything.

Fan Jun scooped out all the dumplings and brought them to the table.

“Eat first.” Uncle Lü helped pull out a chair for Sister Shan.

Sister Shan sat down by the table, picked up her chopsticks, and sighed again.

“Eat first,” Uncle Lü said, placing the vinegar bottle in front of her. “Talk after eating.”

“Not that.” Sister Shan pushed the vinegar bottle away. “My heart is already sour enough.”

Fan Jun had just been about to reach for the vinegar bottle, and immediately pulled his hand back.

He didn’t know whether he was also supposed to feel heart-sore at this moment.

Anyway, dumplings tasted pretty good even without vinegar…

“Eat yours.” Uncle Lü pushed the vinegar bottle back in front of him.

Fan Jun looked at the bottle and felt like this whole scene was truly excruciating.

“So before the accident, you two were already together, right?” Sister Shan asked Fan Jun.

Fan Jun quickly put the dumpling he’d just picked up back into the bowl.

“…Not really.”

“Not together?” Sister Shan asked again.

If you weren’t together, he wanted to marry you?

Fan Jun suddenly didn’t know how to answer.

Talking about feelings in this level of detail with elders was already awkward enough, and on top of that, it was him and Zou Yang.

“It’s just… not officially…” Fan Jun picked the dumpling back up and stuffed it into his mouth, mumbling around it, “…dating.”

“It means they liked each other, had… that kind of feeling, but didn’t…” Uncle Lü helped translate, speaking softly to Sister Shan. “Didn’t make it explicit.”

“I know.” Sister Shan frowned.

“Mm.” Uncle Lü nodded. “Mm.”

Fan Jun chewed through the dumpling with difficulty, wondering how to keep explaining.

Normally, Sister Shan didn’t talk much with him either. When they did talk, it was only about everyday things, nothing very deep—let alone a topic like this.

Luckily, she had come to him first. If he’d been the one to go to her, and the conversation had turned out like this, who knew what direction things would have taken.

Sister Shan didn’t say anything else after that. She just silently ate her dumplings.

Fan Jun’s phone buzzed once. A message had come in.

He hesitated for two seconds, then put down his chopsticks and checked it.

[Zou yang] Don’t eat breakfast yet. I’m there, let’s eat together.

Fan Jun looked at the dumplings in front of him.

[Fan] Mm.

[Zou yang] Have you left yet?

Fan Jun had no idea how to reply, and instinctively glanced at Sister Shan.

Sister Shan reacted faster than he had ever seen before and immediately asked, “Is that Zou Yang?”

Fan Jun wanted to dig his eyeballs out and stuff them into his pockets.

What are you looking around for.

“Tell him to come over,” Sister Shan said.

“What?” Fan Jun and Uncle Lü spoke at the same time.

“Tell Zou Yang to come over,” Sister Shan said, putting down her chopsticks too and leaning back in her chair, pressing at her eyes. “I feel awful. Whether I live or die, let me just take this blow. Tell him to come over and explain everything clearly to me. He’s wanted to talk to me about it all along anyway…”

“Think clearly first—what exactly is your position?” Uncle Lü gently patted her shoulder. “Just being anxious and angry won’t solve anything.”

“That’s exactly why I’m telling him to come over!” Sister Shan said, slapping her chopsticks against the table. “Jun’er isn’t your biological son, of course you’re not that anxious. Zou Yang is my biological son!”

“There you go again.” Uncle Lü stood up and poured her a glass of water. “Don’t be so anxious.”

Sister Shan drank some water. Only after putting the glass down did she suddenly turn to look at Fan Jun again.

“Jun’er, that thing I said before, I didn’t mean…”

“Sister Shan, I know.” Fan Jun nodded.

She lowered her head and twisted her fingers. “Sigh… call Zou Yang over. His father always used to say that whenever something happened, I’d just avoid it and avoid it. I don’t know how exactly I was avoiding anything… but anyway, today I just won’t avoid it.”

“…Mm.” Fan Jun responded.

Just as he lowered his head to message Zou Yang, Sister Shan looked up and added, “Don’t tell him what it’s about. His temper is too quick…”

[Fan] Come pick me up in Nanzhouping.

[Zou yang] Why?

[Fan] Help me move some things. Take a cab over.

[Zou yang] Is something else going on?

“I think…” Fan Jun looked at Uncle Lü and Sister Shan. “He’ll guess.”

“Tell him to take a cab,” Uncle Lü said. “Take a cab here.”

“Mm, I did tell him.” Fan Jun said.

[Fan] No, I drove He Chuan’s car.

With the cat carrier on his back, Zou Yang changed shoes while looking at Fan Jun’s message. He put the car keys in his hand back on the shoe cabinet, picked up a bag full of Dahei’s daily supplies, and went out.

He called a car in the elevator.

He didn’t ask again whether something was wrong.

Something was definitely wrong.

Under normal circumstances, Fan Jun would never make him lug all this stuff back to Nanzhouping to help move things. Fan Jun could take on five people one-handed, and he had a car.

If his mother hadn’t been in Nanzhouping, Zou Yang might have asked one more question. But if she was there, then it definitely had something to do with her.

His thoughts were a mess. He kept turning his phone in his hand all the way there.

His mind spun along with it. At crucial moments, it always felt like he was thinking a lot but had no idea what exactly he was thinking—just spinning uselessly.

Since he didn’t know what had happened, he couldn’t come up with any plan in advance.

When the car stopped in front of the old gym, four words appeared in his head as he got out:

Screw it.

“Hey!” the driver shouted. “Handsome guy, your bag.”

“Oh.” Zou Yang turned around and grabbed the bag of cat supplies from the back seat.

Then he turned and strode straight into the courtyard.

He was afraid that if he was too late, Fan Jun wouldn’t be able to handle his mother.

He had just rushed two steps toward the kitchen when he saw Fan Jun coming quickly out from inside.

“What happened?” Zou Yang asked in a low voice.

“Sister Shan came looking for me…” Fan Jun took the bag from his hand.

Dahei, inside the cat carrier, heard Fan Jun’s voice and immediately started yowling loudly.

“She came to you? What did she say to you?” Zou Yang had mentally prepared himself, but he was still startled. At the same time, he quickly took off the cat carrier and shoved it into Fan Jun’s hands, then picked up the bag of supplies again so Fan Jun could calm Dahei more easily.

“What else would she say,” Fan Jun said, opening the carrier and pulling out the screaming Dahei, stuffing the cat into his jacket. “Just… well…”

“Why would she suddenly come to you!” Zou Yang asked, flustered. He took the empty carrier back. “What exactly did she say? Let me prepare a bit.”

“I don’t know. This morning she suddenly said she wanted to talk to me,” Fan Jun said, slipping his hand inside his coat and quickly scratching Dahei’s head. “She asked whether I was… willing to, um… marry you.”

Zou Yang froze. His eyes widened so hard it felt like the sockets were stretching. “Then what… what did you say? That you were willing?”

“Mm,” Fan Jun answered. “What else was I supposed to say?”

Zou Yang looked at him and felt, in that instant, extremely complicated.

And embarrassed.

The wild nonsense he himself had blurted out months ago had somehow circled around and, under his mother’s direction, actually gotten a reply.

What kind of absurd mess was this…

Did this count as confirming it?

Did it even still need to be confirmed?

Although this didn’t seem like the time to be thinking about that…

“Zou Yang!” his mother’s voice came from the kitchen.

“Go on.” Fan Jun quickly turned aside to make room for him.

Zou Yang dropped everything in his hands straight onto the ground, while his legs strode forward and his mind tried to turn and flee.

“Have you had breakfast?” Uncle Lü asked when he saw him come in.

“…No,” Zou Yang said.

“Have some dumplings,” Uncle Lü said, bringing over a plate from the stove and setting it in front of him. “Sit. Eat breakfast first.”

“Mom.” Zou Yang sat down and looked at her.

It looked like she had either cried briefly just before or almost cried but held it back. Her emotions, though, were still relatively stable.

“Just now I asked Fan Jun.” His mom turned to look at Fan Jun, who was standing by the door.

Fan Jun walked over and sat down beside him.

Zou Yang looked at her and set down the chopsticks he had just picked up.

“You told him to finish eating first,” Uncle Lü said. “He rushed over on an empty stomach, in weather this cold.”

“You eat first,” Mom said.

“It’s okay, Mom. Just say it,” Zou Yang said. “I can’t eat like this anyway.”

“So anyway, the two of you now… it’s that you like each other and want to be together,” Mom said, frowning. Her voice was low and very fast. “That’s what it means, right?”

Zou Yang’s hand trembled very slightly. Looking at his mother, he replied as gently as he could, “Mm.”

She raised her hand to wipe at her eyes. “After being apart for so long, it didn’t… fade at all?”

“…No.” Zou Yang looked at her. He felt awkward, yes, but even more than that he felt heartache for her. Even so, there was no other answer he could honestly give.

She didn’t say anything, just looked over at Fan Jun.

“No,” Fan Jun said.

She covered her eyes and inhaled sharply. “Xiao Yang…”

“Mm.” Zou Yang leaned closer and reached out to gently touch her hand.

“Mom really… finds this very hard to accept. Really. I never once imagined… it would be like this…” Her voice shook.

“I know, Mom. I’m sorry.” Zou Yang tried to control his emotions.

“Old Lu was trying to persuade me,” she said. “He said this is something I can’t control, that it’s your personal matter. I know that too.” Her hand pressed hard over her eyes, trembling all the while. “It’s just… I feel awful. I really, really don’t want this…”

Uncle Lü handed some tissues over to her. She quickly grabbed them and lowered her head to wipe her eyes.

“Mom…” Zou Yang looked at her, wanting to say something, but it felt like there was nothing he could say that would actually comfort her in a situation like this.

“But then I also thought…” she said, suddenly grabbing his hand. “I also want to be an open-minded mother. Not control you so much. Let you decide your own things… You’re already twenty. You’re an adult now. There are a lot of things you understand better than I do…”

Zou Yang took off his glasses, tossed them onto the table, and quickly pressed at the corners of his eyes.

“I know I haven’t done enough. I’m not that kind of good mother. Since you were little… there were so many things you never wanted to tell me,” she said. “I…”

“You are a good mother. A very good one,” Zou Yang said.

“Actually I knew already—asking you two would only get me this answer. So I thought, then maybe I should try to be more open-minded,” she said, finally losing control. “But I still feel awful… There are things I can’t sort out in my head, and I’m not good with words. I’m so afraid you won’t understand…”

“We understand,” Zou Yang said, reaching out to hug her. “I understand everything you’re saying. I really do.”

She wiped away her tears, got up, and went to wash her face by the sink.

Then she stood there staring out the window for a while.

“Shan…” Uncle Lü stood up too, worried.

“That bag was just thrown on the ground like that?” Mom pointed at the bag Zou Yang had tossed into the courtyard.

“I’ll bring it in.” Fan Jun quickly got up, hugging Dahei as he ran out and brought the bag back into the kitchen.

She sat back down at the table, pulled out a few tissues to wipe the water from her face, sat there dazed for another moment, and then finally let out a soft breath.

“Let it be, then.”

“Mom, thank you.” Zou Yang looked at her, his heart full of feelings he couldn’t name. “Actually, you don’t have to force yourself to be some so-called open-minded good mother.”

“I insist on being one,” she said.

“…Mm.” Zou Yang didn’t say anything else.

Uncle Lü slowly moved toward the doorway and beckoned to Fan Jun.

Fan Jun, still holding Dahei, followed Uncle Lü out of the kitchen.

Only Mom and Zou Yang were left in the room.

“I’m fine now.” She waved a hand. “Aren’t you going to… be with Fan Jun in a bit…”

“I’m taking the cat over to his place. To the shop,” Zou Yang said.

“Go on, then,” she said.

Zou Yang didn’t move.

“This wave of feeling will pass,” she said, red-eyed, lowering her head. “If I keep holding it in and never say it, I can’t get past it. But after saying it to you…” She paused. “It still hurts.”

“Actually,” Zou Yang said, squeezing her hand, “I’m not really any different from before. I just…”

“If someone asks whether you have a girlfriend or anything like that,” his mother said, looking at him, “can I just not say anything? I don’t know how to explain it to people.”

“Of course you can. Whether I have a girlfriend or boyfriend is none of their business,” Zou Yang said.

“Mm.” She nodded.

“Mom,” Zou Yang called softly.

“Mm,” she answered.

“When you and Dad got divorced, I chose to stay with you,” Zou Yang said, “because you were better than him.”

She didn’t speak.

“No matter what he says, or what you think, I’ve already grown up well,” Zou Yang said. “I’m an adult now. You don’t need to keep agonizing over whether you were a good mother. I just hope you can live your own life well.”

“Really?” she asked.

“Mm.” Zou Yang nodded.

“Then what if I disagree? What if I stop being a good mother?” she asked.

Zou Yang smiled but said nothing.

“It wouldn’t matter anyway, would it?” she asked.

“…Mm.”

Dahei stuck his head out from Fan Jun’s jacket. Uncle Lü reached out and stroked the cat’s head, then sighed.

“Your Sister Shan is definitely going to need some time before she gets past this pain.”

“Mm,” Fan Jun answered.

“You’re older than Zou Yang, and steadier too,” Uncle Lü said. “Feelings… it’s not like they’re guaranteed to go smoothly. In the future, if there are conflicts, or… whether you can keep going or not, when you speak or do things, don’t be impulsive.”

“Mm. I know,” Fan Jun said.

Zou Yang came out of the kitchen carrying both bags. He actually looked to be in pretty good spirits, and his eyes weren’t red either. It seemed like he and Sister Shan had talked fairly well.

“You two go on and do what you need to do,” Uncle Lü said, heading toward the kitchen. “The kids will be coming soon, and we need to get busy too.”

“Okay.” Fan Jun walked over, took the cat carrier from Zou Yang, stuffed Dahei inside, and slung it onto his back.

“Let’s go.” Zou Yang let out a light breath.

“How was it?” Fan Jun looked at him.

“Pretty good.” Zou Yang smiled. “Much… much better than I imagined.”

“She and Uncle Lü probably talked first last night,” Fan Jun said.

“Mm.” Zou Yang nodded.

Fan Jun had parked the car in the alley up ahead, so the two of them strolled in that direction.

The north wind was blowing hard, and there weren’t many pedestrians on the street, but most of the shops along the roadside had already opened.

It felt both bleak and full of life at the same time.

“Did you eat that plate of dumplings just now?” Fan Jun asked.

“No. Forgot.” Zou Yang said. “My mom probably forgot too. She was even rushing me to leave.”

“Want to eat around here or go eat over by the trade center?” Fan Jun asked with a smile.

“Let’s go over there. Is there something good?” Zou Yang asked.

“There’s a pizza place that’s really good,” Fan Jun thought for a moment.

“So trendy once you’re out of Nanzhouping. Eating pizza for breakfast already,” Zou Yang said.

Fan Jun just smiled and didn’t answer.

They turned into the alley. The cars that had been parked there the night before were already gone.

Fan Jun opened the car door and placed the cat carrier in the back seat. When he turned back around, he found Zou Yang standing beside the car without moving.

“What’s wrong?”

Zou Yang looked at him, not moving, not speaking.

“Mm?” Fan Jun waved a hand in front of his eyes, then snapped his fingers beside his ear.

“Hug me,” Zou Yang said.

“What…” Fan Jun only reacted after the word had already left his mouth. Then, without hesitation, he reached out and wrapped his arms around him.

Zou Yang also hugged him back tightly almost immediately and said in a low voice, “Let’s not eat pizza yet. Go to your place first. I have something to tell you.”

“Mm.” Fan Jun answered.

He Chuan usually didn’t come to the shop in the morning. Fan Jun unlocked the shop door, hung an “Out on business” sign outside, and then he and Zou Yang carried everything upstairs together.

After settling Dahei, and not even bothering about Xiao Bai whining in the backyard, Zou Yang stood by the window looking at Fan Jun.

“Fan Jun.”

“I’m here.” Fan Jun also walked over to the window.

“Actually… originally I had a lot of things I wanted to say, but my mom messed up my rhythm,” Zou Yang said. “Feels like she beat me to it…”

Fan Jun smiled. “We can be a different timeline.”

“I’ve liked you for a long time.” Zou Yang looked at him. It was already something both of them knew perfectly well, but the moment he actually said it out loud, his heartbeat still shook like thunder. It felt like it even knocked his breath away.

“I also…” Fan Jun took a breath. “Have liked you for a long time.”