“So, that’s basically the situation,” Liu Wenrui said, sitting on the edge of the bed and looking at Li Zhiyue. “If you say it’s a big deal, it’s not really that big. But if you say it’s no big deal, it definitely isn’t small either. After all, he’s not dating a girl.”

“Mm,” Li Zhiyue acknowledged, glancing at Zou Yang, who was lying on his bed with his arms tucked behind his head.

“Originally, we were hesitating about whether to tell you guys or not. But we’re all in the same dorm, and if we didn’t say anything, it’d be hard to hide anyway.” Liu Wenrui also glanced at Zou Yang. “So the two of us talked it over and decided to tell you…”

“Wait a second,” Li Zhiyue made a ‘stop’ gesture. “Rephrase that. The way you’re wording this makes it sound like you two got together.”

“What the fuck?” Liu Wenrui froze.

“So we figured we’d just tell you,” Zou Yang chimed in.

He had originally wanted to tell Li Zhiyue himself, but Liu Wenrui had been constantly worried that Zou Yang lacked a filter and insisted on coming out on his behalf.

And almost ended up coming out as half of the couple instead.

“Got it,” Li Zhiyue said. “Should I go notify Zhang Chuanlong, or…”

“We’ll notify him right here when he gets back from buying medicine,” Liu Wenrui said.

“Alright.” Li Zhiyue nodded.

“Brother Zhiyue,” Liu Wenrui looked at him. “Be honest, did you guess this a long time ago?”

“No,” Li Zhiyue glanced at Zou Yang. “I just… kind of felt like Zou Yang might like Fan Jun. But I didn’t see it from Fan Jun’s side…”

“Are you blind?” Zou Yang said.

“I’m not even near-sighted,” Li Zhiyue replied.

Zou Yang sighed and closed his eyes.

“Okay, so that means you don’t have a problem with their situation, right?” Liu Wenrui said.

“What, if I objected, would they break up?” Li Zhiyue asked.

“Piss off.” Liu Wenrui waved him off.

“So basically, this is just a notification, not a request for opinions. Got it? Our attitude doesn’t matter,” Li Zhiyue said. “We shouldn’t even have an attitude. It’s none of our business.”

“Ah,” Zou Yang sighed with a smile.

Zhang Chuanlong walked into the dorm carrying a bag of medicine and tossed it onto Zou Yang’s bed. “Eat up, Your Majesty.”

“Even though the ATM has a withdrawal limit now, he’s still a golden sheep,” Liu Wenrui pulled a box of cold medicine from the bag and handed it to Zou Yang. “Watch your tone.”

“Wanna go play ball?” Zhang Chuanlong asked. “I saw people in the gym.”

“He has a cold,” Liu Wenrui reminded him.

“He can keep score on the sidelines,” Zhang Chuanlong said.

“Friendship over,” Zou Yang said, tossing the pills he’d popped out into his mouth, then starting to look for water.

“You’re unbelievable…” Li Zhiyue quickly handed over his cup. “Wenrui, tell him the news.”

“Oh right,” Liu Wenrui turned to look at Zhang Chuanlong. “Long, let me tell you something.”

“Mm.” Zhang Chuanlong looked back.

“Zou Yang,” Liu Wenrui pointed at Zou Yang, who was currently tilting his head back to swallow the pills. “Him. He’s dating Fan Jun.”

“Oh,” Zhang Chuanlong grabbed a pack of spicy strips and ripped it open. “Good for him. First one in our dorm to stop being single.”

None of them spoke. They all just stared at him.

After taking two bites, Zhang Chuanlong suddenly froze. Holding the snack bag, he sank into deep thought, then whipped his head around. “Fan Jun? Who?”

“Coach Fan Jun, the former colleague of Coach Tan Ru, whom you bought sessions from and never attended once,” Li Zhiyue said.

“Holy—shit!” Zhang Chuanlong quickly took another bite of his snack and walked over to Zou Yang’s bed.

“If you drop crumbs on my bed, you’re dead,” Zou Yang pointed at the bag in his hand.

“This doesn’t drop crumbs.” Zhang Chuanlong chewed rapidly, seemingly using his teeth to help his brain process. After a long while, he finally said, “Fuck, so many girls like you, and you couldn’t pick one better than Fan Jun? He’s a dude!”

“Ugh, what is wrong with this guy? Talking to him is exhausting,” Liu Wenrui sighed and fell back onto his bed.

“Move,” Zou Yang kicked him.

“You’re a sick patient! Stop being so picky,” Liu Wenrui grabbed his own shirt and shook it out. “I wear a jacket when I go out. These clothes haven’t seen the light of day, they’re perfectly clean!”

“You’re dating Fan Jun?” Zhang Chuanlong leaned over to confirm with Zou Yang again.

“Yeah.” Zou Yang felt a bit helpless. Initially, when bringing this up with Li Zhiyue, he had felt slightly awkward. But after dealing with Zhang Chuanlong’s chaos, he seemed to have become completely desensitized. Right now, he felt like he could comfortably go yell it in the hallway.

“When did this start?” Zhang Chuanlong asked.

“A while ago,” Zou Yang replied.

“How long ago?” Zhang Chuanlong pressed.

“What, are you regretting not making a move on me sooner?” Zou Yang said. “Give it up, you’re not my type.”

Zhang Chuanlong completely ignored his remark and thought back for a moment. “Damn, no wonder you were practically falling to pieces when you were hospitalized, but still insisted on going to see him…”

Zou Yang sighed.

“Long,” Li Zhiyue patted Zhang Chuanlong’s shoulder. “Even though this isn’t a huge deal, it’s still our dorm’s private business. You get me?”

“I get it. I won’t blab,” Zhang Chuanlong said.

“If you have a problem with it, keep it to yourself,” Liu Wenrui said.

“Why would I have a problem? It’s not like I like Fan Jun,” Zhang Chuanlong said, then sighed again. “Can my gym membership be extended? It’s not going to expire, is it?”

“It won’t expire. All our cards will get extended. Whenever you want to go, just make an appointment with Tan Ru,” Zou Yang said.

“Does that mean we get a discount from now on?” Zhang Chuanlong looked at him. “If you’re dating Fan Jun, you must have some stake in that gym, right?”

“That’s Lu Guanjun’s gym!” Zou Yang said. “Fan Jun just worked there, and he’s not even there anymore.”

“Oh,” Zhang Chuanlong nodded, thought for a second, and raised an eyebrow. “I heard from Wenrui that his new place is pretty interesting. When are we going to check it out?”

“After exams,” Zou Yang waved a hand at him. “Now dismiss yourself. You’re giving me a headache.”

“You gonna sleep for a bit?” Liu Wenrui asked.

“I just woke up… My nose is just a bit stuffy, I feel fine otherwise,” Zou Yang glanced at the sunlight outside the window. “Go out and grab something to eat?”

“You buying?” Liu Wenrui instantly stood up.

“I’m buying,” Zou Yang threw off his covers and got out of bed. “Speak up if there’s something you want.”

“Anything expensive works,” Li Zhiyue said as he started putting on his jacket.

Zhang Chuanlong hadn’t even had time to take his jacket off when he came in, so he just turned around and walked right out the door.

“You’re not going to see Fan Jun today?” Liu Wenrui asked quietly by Zou Yang’s ear.

“I told him I was hanging out with you guys these next couple days, plus we have exams,” Zou Yang replied just as quietly. “He said he wasn’t busy, but he’s still at work. It’s different from when he was at the gym.”

“Yeah, in the past it was basically his own family’s business,” Liu Wenrui nodded. “Now he can’t go around fighting the boss.”

It was freezing, and his body ached terribly.

But the part of him pressed against his mother’s body was warm.

So no matter how uncomfortable he was, he couldn’t bear to move even a fraction of an inch.

Even the slightest movement might make his mother disappear.

But his mother wasn’t by his side.

She hadn’t been for many, many years.

He was dreaming.

So he shouldn’t move. No matter how much it hurt, he couldn’t move.

As long as he was still in the dream, his mother was still there.

“Hey! Kid! Wake up!”

Shh! Don’t yell.

“Kid, are you alright? Why are you lying here?”

Don’t make a sound, please.

“Wake up, are you feeling sick?” Someone tugged at his arm.

When Fan Jun opened his eyes, he just felt pain everywhere. His head pounded, his arm ached and stung, and his back throbbed.

It felt like he had just been beaten up.

Hovering above him was the frowning face of an older man, who looked like a worker from the cemetery.

“I’m fine.” When Fan Jun spoke, his voice sounded hoarse to his own ears.

“Can you move?” The man patted his arm.

“Yes.” Fan Jun pushed through the pain and quickly got up, standing to his feet.

He was still in front of his mother’s tombstone. He must have fallen asleep.

“Why are you sleeping out here?” The man looked at him. “You were curled up here for a long time, I thought something had happened to you…”

“Just really tired.” Fan Jun looked down and straightened his clothes.

“Is this your…” The man glanced at the inscription on the stone.

“My mom,” Fan Jun said.

“Oh. Well…” The man studied his face, probably trying to guess his age, then sighed. “This whole section is from ten, twenty years ago.”

“Yeah,” Fan Jun replied.

“Head on home. It’s been hours, you must be freezing,” the man said. “Come back next time.”

Fan Jun looked at the tombstone one last time, then turned and walked toward the path.

The man followed behind him. As Fan Jun headed toward the main gate, the man called out from behind, “Take good care of yourself, kid. Otherwise, your mom up there will worry.”

“Mm.” Fan Jun nodded.

Back in the car, he turned on the heater and waited a while before he finally felt somewhat normal again.

He took out his phone to check the time.

He had slept in front of the tombstone for over three hours. In that time, he had missed all of Zou Yang’s messages and a call from the doctor.

【Zou Yang】: I told the guys in the dorm.
【Zou Yang】: Their reaction was pretty normal.
【Zou Yang】: Going to get food now.
【Zou Yang】: Damn, the mashed potatoes here are so good. I’ll take you here sometime.

【Fan】: I was a little busy today, didn’t hear my phone ringing.

Fan Jun replied to Zou Yang first, then quickly called the doctor back.

It was confirmed: he would handle the hospital admission tomorrow. As long as the checkups showed no issues, he could have the shrapnel removed.

He let out a soft breath. Once the shrapnel was out, maybe his hand would recover faster.

Zou Yang’s call came in quickly. “Did you see all that stuff I texted you earlier?”

“I saw it,” Fan Jun smiled.

“Are you not going to react at all?” Zou Yang said. “Our whole dorm knows now. That’s huge news.”

“Zou Yang,” Fan Jun reminded him with a smile, “what could be bigger news than you being completely unconscious in the hospital…”

“Shut up,” Zou Yang immediately cut him off, but then laughed himself. “That really is my dark history.”

“Are all the dorm guys still with you right now?” Fan Jun asked.

“Yeah,” Zou Yang said. “We’re going to play basketball with the dorm next door in a bit, and we’re eating dinner together tonight. School starts tomorrow, so there’s a ton of stuff to do.”

“Did you catch a cold?” Fan Jun noticed the nasal tone in Zou Yang’s voice.

“A little. Probably from the wind out on the lake,” Zou Yang cleared his throat. “My nose is just a bit stuffy, nothing else.”

“Do you have a fever?” Fan Jun asked.

“No fever,” Zou Yang said. “I have a very healthy body.”

“…Mm.” Fan Jun suddenly found his mind wandering. His body was indeed very… healthy.

“Fan Jun?” Zou Yang suddenly clicked his tongue. “What are you thinking about?”

“Nothing,” Fan Jun smiled.

“Dirty mind,” Zou Yang said.

“And you’re the purest of them all,” Fan Jun replied with a laugh.

“Compared to you, am I not…” Zou Yang stopped halfway and suddenly lowered his voice; someone seemed to be calling him. “Am I not purer? They’re calling me, I’m heading out.”

“Okay, go,” Fan Jun said. “Mr. Pure.”

After thinking it over, Fan Jun still decided not to tell Zou Yang about the surgery. Even though a few of the fragments were lodged pretty deep, compared to his previous injuries, it wasn’t considered a major operation.

Zou Yang had just started the new semester, had a million things to do, and exams coming up… Plus, the school was miles away from the hospital.

Fan Jun only told Lu Ze, since he might need some help right after the surgery.

“You can’t rush the arm,” the doctor said, standing by the hospital bed. “This is a long-term process. You’ve gotten past the worst of it; there’s no need to stress over this final stretch of time.”

“Mm,” Fan Jun acknowledged.

“Today and tomorrow will mostly be for checkups,” the doctor said. “We need to locate the fragments and check the surrounding tissue, and then we’ll schedule the surgery.”

“Got it.” Fan Jun nodded.

“You’ll need someone with you during the surgery,” the doctor said. “Is your brother coming again?”

“Yeah, my brother is coming,” Fan Jun said.

He didn’t need anyone to accompany him for the checkups; he could move around freely now.

When the results came out, the doctor reviewed them and found no issues. The surgery was confirmed for the next day.

Fan Jun stood by the window, watching the crowds coming and going downstairs. It felt a bit surreal. He had stayed here for so long before, yet he had almost never stood by the window.

Back then, his life was a total mess. He hadn’t been in the mood to look at other people’s worlds.

Two figures appeared in his field of vision. They were walking briskly from the inpatient department gates, cutting through the small garden below, and heading straight for Building 2, where he was staying.

Fan Jun froze for two seconds, then abruptly leaned closer to the glass, staring intently at the taller of the two. A wave of uncontrollable joy rushed through him, immediately followed by panic.

Crap.

It was Zou Yang.

The guy beside him was Liu Wenrui, leaning close to Zou Yang’s ear, gesturing wildly as he talked.

Fan Jun watched them enter the building. He turned around, still standing by the window, and stared at the door of his room.

He was panicking.

Zou Yang was definitely pissed.

Two minutes later, a silhouette flashed past the glass window of the room, then reversed back.

Before he could even confirm if it was Zou Yang, the door was shoved open.

Zou Yang blew in like a storm, crossing the room in a few strides until he was standing face-to-face with him, practically right up in his face.

“Zou Yang, Zou Yang…” Liu Wenrui’s voice slipped through the gap in the doorway. “Calm down, okay? I’ll wait for you outside…”

“I was just about to… call you,” Fan Jun said quietly.

“Cut the bullshit. Do I look like I’m three?” Zou Yang glared at him, shrugging off his jacket and tossing it backward onto the hospital bed without even looking.

Fortunately, he was in a private room, so there was only the one bed behind him.

“Zou Yang,” Fan Jun reached out and touched his arm. “I just thought, since you just started school and have exams coming up, you’d be too busy…”

“Those are two different things!” Zou Yang smacked his hand away and yelled. “Me being too busy to come is completely different from you hiding it from me!”

“Zou Yang, Zou Yang,” Liu Wenrui’s voice sneaked through the door again. “Keep your voice down, people outside can hear…”

“It’s not a major surgery…” Fan Jun said.

“Even if you were getting a hemorrhoid removed, you still have to tell me!” Zou Yang hissed, lowering his voice.

Fan Jun didn’t speak.

“Right after I said it, right after you promised me, you turn around and do the exact same thing!” Zou Yang was right in his face, brows furrowed. It was obvious he was extremely angry, and… hurt.

Fan Jun looked at Zou Yang.

“Why did you promise if you couldn’t do it?” Zou Yang gave him a shove.

Seeing Zou Yang like this made his heart ache immensely.

But if he had to do it all over again, he probably… still would have chosen not to tell Zou Yang.

“Fan Jun! ‘You are the person in this world who needs me the most’—who said that?” Zou Yang demanded.

“I did,” Fan Jun said. “I do need you, and I do want to stick to you, but…”

Zou Yang took a step back, staring at him, waiting for him to finish.

“I just don’t want to need you because of things like this,” Fan Jun frowned. “I want you to keep me company when we travel, when we eat. I want to stick by you when we go on trips, sit in the sun, walk the dog, pet the cat, even when we go to work…”

“When you’re sick, when you’re hurt—isn’t that when you need me the most?!” Zou Yang interrupted.

“No,” Fan Jun said.

Zou Yang stared at him, speechless for a long moment.

“Not entirely,” Fan Jun struggled to explain. He wasn’t like Zou Yang; he didn’t know how to express himself perfectly. He was afraid he wouldn’t explain it well, and afraid Zou Yang wouldn’t understand. “If I were sick today—with pneumonia, a fever, or in a car crash—I would absolutely tell you. I’d want you to sit with me while I got an IV, eat with me, hole up in the room with me.”

Zou Yang closed his eyes, his brows still furrowed.

“I’m in the hospital right now because of Fan Gang…” Fan Jun paused. Suddenly, a wave of grievance hit him, the same way he had felt in front of his mother’s grave. Feeling unexpectedly wronged, he turned his head away and sniffled.

“So what if it’s because of Fan Gang?!” Zou Yang raised his voice, cutting him off. “He’s dead!”

“Exactly! He’s dead!” Fan Jun raised his voice too.

Zou Yang looked at him, silent.

“So why should you?! You almost lost your life, why should you still have to face this never-ending nightmare with me?” Fan Jun’s voice dropped, trembling slightly. “I just want the shadow of these things between us to be smaller… fainter…”

He glanced toward the door. Liu Wenrui was standing with his back to it, guarding it like a bouncer.

“I’m scared,” Fan Jun gritted his teeth and forced out the words he had been most terrified to say. “I’m afraid that all these things will eventually wear away your feelings for me.”

Zou Yang stared at him, then suddenly raised an eyebrow.

Fan Jun didn’t quite understand what that meant and didn’t dare say more.

“They won’t,” Zou Yang said. “I told you, I’m just messed up like that.”

“Huh?” Fan Jun froze.

“I don’t care what the reason is,” Zou Yang said. “Honestly, when I realized you were too afraid to leave Nanzhouping, I just thought you were really… captivating.”

“What?” Fan Jun looked at him.

“What do you mean, ‘what’?” Zou Yang said. “I’m just messed up like that. Understand?”

Fan Jun didn’t speak.

Zou Yang stepped up to him and hugged him, his voice low. “Those things aren’t some dark shadow. They’re the life-and-death moments we survived together.”

Fan Jun hugged him back tightly.

“‘In life or death, however separated, to you I make my pledge…’” Zou Yang turned his head to look at him. “You understand that line, right?”

“…I do.” Fan Jun nodded.

Zou Yang didn’t say anything else.

“So…” Fan Jun hesitated, then asked softly, “My surgery is tomorrow. Are you coming?”

“What time?” Zou Yang asked.

“Around nine or ten,” Fan Jun said.

“I can’t make it. My morning is packed with classes,” Zou Yang said. “But I can come over at noon.”

Fan Jun paused, then smiled.

“And then I can skip my first class in the afternoon,” Zou Yang finished, loosening his hold and looking at him. “How does that sound?”

“Sounds good,” Fan Jun nodded.