Chapter 16: P. A Special Gift

After visiting the secret base, the two parted ways, returning to their respective places in the world. It felt like a dream that had ended abruptly, without a clear period at the end of the sentence.

However, Ning Yixiao had received a gift of extraordinary significance. It was a palm-sized toy, the smallest and most inconspicuous piece of art in that factory, yet it had caught Ning Yixiao’s eye the moment he was about to leave.

Su Hui told him that it was a plush kitten he had owned as a child. Because the stitches on its chest had burst and the cotton stuffing was spilling out, it had been discarded. But Su Hui had picked it up and reshaped it.

The broken kitten was wrapped in many iron wires, and chaotic black threads were tangled around the wires, constantly extending outward. Amidst them, a single red thread flickered in and out, leading inward to connect to the doll’s ruptured chest, where a tiny, faulty light bulb was placed—flickering on and off as if malfunctioning.

The doll’s hands and feet were bound, its chest was cut open, yet its face maintained a smile. Its big eyes carried the innocence that had persisted from Su Hui’s childhood to the present day.

Ning Yixiao almost never asked for anything, no matter who he was with. This awkward defect stemmed from years ago and from his excessive pride; making him express himself without reservation was more difficult than solving the hardships of others. But the moment he discovered this kitten, he felt a strange longing.

Su Hui seemed able to read his mind; there was always a sense of coincidence and tacit understanding between them, which felt miraculous.

“Do you like this?” Su Hui picked it up. “I’ll give it to you, if you like. I made this when I was very, very young, and it has been here for a long time.”

Even though Su Hui didn’t say it, Ning Yixiao knew it was precious. If the cocoon was Su Hui’s most indispensable refuge, then this kitten was Su Hui himself.

Su Hui smiled and stuffed it into his arms, his expression adorable. “You have to take good care of it.”

Even now, sitting at his desk and staring at the kitten doll, Ning Yixiao could still recall the loneliness of Su Hui sitting alone at the bus stop. Every time he saw Su Hui, he seemed to be surrounded by a milky morning mist—hazy and indistinct, as if he didn’t belong here and might vanish into thin air at any moment.

Ning Yixiao poked the kitten’s cheek with his finger, moving slowly downward until his fingertip touched the tiny light bulb heart. It was warm, as if it were truly alive—not living easily, but living nonetheless.

He even developed a far-fetched delusion: imagining that he could have appeared when this broken kitten was discarded, picked him up, sewn up the wound on his chest, and then kept him safe and sound.

But this thought only flashed for a moment before being interrupted by a notification tone.

The first message was from Su Hui, as he had promised to text him when he was close to home.

[Little Cat: I’m almost there, I’m a bit sleepy.]

[Little Cat: It’s so cold in the car, the AC is set too low.]

The corners of Ning Yixiao’s mouth curled up involuntarily. Just as he was about to reply, a new message popped up on the top of his screen. It was a debt collection text.

Almost instantly, Ning Yixiao stopped his correspondence with Su Hui and returned to reality. He stared at the threatening words; they felt all too familiar. After a moment of silence, he lowered his head and began calculating his recent income and expenses.

This was the life that belonged to him.

Su Hui seemed to have really given himself to Ning Yixiao.

He was soul-stricken even on the way home, taking a taxi by himself. He couldn’t help but send a message to Ning Yixiao while in the car, but he didn’t get a response. When he got out, he almost forgot to pay the fare, and completely forgot that he would be punished for leaving his birthday party without permission.

Punishment was a matter of course, but he hadn’t expected it to be this severe this time.

When he arrived home in the afternoon, Su Hui didn’t expect that the person opening the door wouldn’t be Chen Ma, but a middle-aged woman he didn’t recognize. The woman smiled enthusiastically and said, “Young master, you’re back.”

Su Hui was puzzled and asked directly where Chen Ma was, but the woman was evasive, only asking if he would like some tea.

Feeling that something was wrong, Su Hui walked straight inside and ran head-on into his grandfather. Ji Tailu was sitting on the sofa in the living room, knitting his brows, his hands folded and gripping the dragon head carved into the top of his pear-wood cane. Seeing him walk in, his expression grew even more solemn.

Su Hui could tell he was furious, and without making excuses for himself, he walked over and apologized to Ji Tailu.

Ji Tailu nearly sneered. “No need. Your wings have hardened now; no one in this house can control you anymore, not even I.”

Su Hui was at a loss; many words were stuck in his throat, and he could only say he was sorry.

“Sorry?” Ji Tailu suppressed his anger. “What kind of place do you think yesterday’s birthday party was? What kind of people came? Su Hui, you walked out in front of everyone—where do you expect me to put my face? Huh?”

“I…” Su Hui tried to explain. “My medication yesterday was overdosed, and the side effects were severe. Staying there would only have been embarrassing for everyone. I had no choice but to…”

“Fine. Did you go to the hospital then?” Ji Tailu looked at him, eyes narrowing. “Xu Zhi said yesterday that he contacted almost every psychiatric department in Beijing, and couldn’t find you anywhere. He even sent three drivers to look for you. Where did you go? What kind of disgraceful things did you do? Do you even remember? Is your head clear right now!”

Su Hui opened his mouth, but was cut off by Ji Tailu before he could speak. The accusations came like sharp blades, scraping against his face.

“Don’t say another word. I don’t want to hear a single syllable,” Ji Tailu raged. “From today on, you aren’t going anywhere. You are to stay at home and reflect on your mistakes. I’m handling your withdrawal from school. You are to get treated until your brain is normal again!”

“I don’t want to withdraw!” Su Hui’s eyes reddened. “I’m not abnormal…”

“You’re not abnormal? Look at yourself! You’ve been spoiled to this state—born with everything you could ever want—spoiled until you’re delusional, acting crazy all day, not a single day of peace!” Ji Tailu stood up, incomparably furious. “In my life, even if I haven’t achieved greatness, I have at least served dutifully. How could I have a grandson like you? You are simply the biggest stain on my entire life!”

He suddenly raised his cane. Su Hui dodged subconsciously, but in the end, the cane held high above his head was flung fiercely by Ji Tailu toward another part of the room, shattering a clay vase—one that seventeen-year-old Su Hui had made with his own hands as a gift for him.

Now, it was smashed to pieces.

“It’s all the inferior crazy genes of the Su family that produced a lunatic like you.”

Ji Tailu left this cruel statement behind, along with Su Hui.

Outside the floor-to-ceiling windows, the sunlight was radiant; the garden was lush with herbs and the fragrance of lilacs. He could even hear the sound of birds flapping their wings outside.

The new nanny walked over and asked Su Hui to follow her to a new confinement room. This place was even worse than before; it didn’t even have a meditation cushion, only pungent incense masking the scent of rotting dampness.

Before the door closed, Su Hui asked the new nanny one question: “Ma’am, where is Chen Ma?”

The woman was stunned, her face showing distress. “Young master… I’m a new nanny; I’m not really sure about what happened before…”

Su Hui’s mouth remained in a straight, flat line, and he said nothing, walking into the confinement room himself.

There were no windows. There was only a dim overhead light and a surveillance camera that looked like the eye of a poisonous snake. Su Hui knelt on the floor as required, his spine straight.

The last sentence his grandfather said echoed repeatedly in his mind. Su Hui wanted to know if he was actually despising him in his heart every single day when he looked at him. Did everyone in this house, who acted as if they hung on his every word, also see him as an indelible stain, just like his grandfather did?

He still remembered what his father looked like—very gentle, very patient. He would buy him many picture books he liked and encourage him to do what he wanted. His father had a younger brother, his uncle, who was a moderately famous curator, so when he was very young, Su Hui could follow him to attend some exhibitions.

They would stand in front of art pieces that Su Hui couldn’t understand, having overly childlike discussions, and then cover their mouths and giggle. His uncle would deliberately imitate him, using exaggerated expressions and a childish accent to parrot him: “Wow, how beautiful.”

It was just that his uncle got sick later; they said it was schizophrenia.

At that time, Su Hui didn’t understand. How could a person’s spirit split? It wasn’t like a cookie or porcelain. Later, he received a phone call from his uncle. He said there was a big snake in his stomach that would talk to him. He couldn’t sleep at night, always hearing the sound of the snake slithering.

But Su Hui was only a six-year-old child then. He didn’t understand; he only thought it was novel, as if he were listening to a story.

Later, his uncle was sent to a hospital, and Ji Tailu forcibly took Su Hui away, telling him cruelly that he would never be allowed to see his uncle again. Everyone in the Ji family demeaned and vilified his uncle’s illness indefinitely, painting it as a sinister, poisonous snake, and not allowing Su Hui to get close to him in the slightest.

The world is fickle. From the summer Su Hui was diagnosed, he too became the shadow of a snake that lingered in the minds of the Ji family.

If he could, he really wanted to be the snake in his uncle’s stomach; at least that would be safe and warm.

Kneeling on the ground, Su Hui felt a sense of familiarity. It had been like this since he was small—if he did something wrong, he would get no margin for error. He was often locked in here, only back then there would have been a soft cushion and a small bed. He just hadn’t been allowed to play in the garden or read and paint in the bright study. Now, he had nothing, and was required to recite Buddhist scriptures in his mind.

Su Hui didn’t want to recite any Buddhist scriptures at all; his broken brain couldn’t receive the baptism of any faith. Su Hui just knelt there straight, eyes closed, thinking of Ning Yixiao, who was willing to hide in the cocoon with him.

He was glad that he had given the doll to him. In this way, it felt as if only his shell was here accepting punishment. The real him was actually still staying in that rental unit filled with a sense of security, never having left.

Su Hui disappeared for an entire week. Until the day before summer vacation started, he never appeared.

Ning Yixiao was uneasy. He sent many messages and made phone calls, but he couldn’t get through. In the end, he could only ask Professor Wang tentatively during a meeting, but the answer he received was that he was sick and recuperating at home.

This kind of excuse for outsiders couldn’t dispel Ning Yixiao’s suspicions. He tried to ask students from the finance department through his connections in the department, but still to no avail.

That student even laughed and said, “Su Hui? He’s often like this. Every now and then, it’s like he’s suspended from school and just doesn’t show up for class. Sometimes it’s a week, sometimes a few months—it’s very normal. Maybe he’ll appear tomorrow. Are you looking for him for something?”

It was then that he realized how weak the connection between Su Hui and this school was—there wasn’t even one friend who could explain the reason for his disappearance. Not one.

“Nothing particularly important.” Ning Yixiao smiled. “He… borrowed a book using my card before; it’s time to return it.”

The classmate laughed even louder. “Then you’re in trouble. He might not come back.”

Ning Yixiao felt uncomfortable and lost, as if he were the one who was sick. The nights spent with Su Hui seemed as if they truly hadn’t existed, because he had vanished so easily, leaving no trace. Apart from that kitten doll, there was no proof at all.

As the vacation approached, he was called by a teacher in his department to help maintain the server. Ning Yixiao was willing to do these things, as long as he could leave a good impression on the teachers. Ever since his freshman year, he had been the most suitable “helper” in the teachers’ eyes—a fine, hardworking hand.

Just as he had typed a few lines of code, the office door was knocked twice.

There was no one else in the room. Ning Yixiao didn’t even look up, continuing to type on his keyboard. “The door’s unlocked, please come in.”

The door pushed open, and he heard a somewhat familiar voice calling him “Senior.”

Ning Yixiao looked up. The person coming in was Xia Zhixu, whom Li Cong had mentioned was sought after by many as soon as he enrolled—a junior in the same department and a “gifted student” in the eyes of the teachers.

Due to the teachers’ favor, Ning Yixiao had once served as a teaching assistant for a freshman lab course, and he happened to have taught this class. Every assignment Xia Zhixu turned in was excellent; his programming ability was extremely high, and the code he wrote was concise and elegant, even the comments were impeccable. He was just quiet and taciturn; the only few times they had spoken were about course reports.

The expression on Ning Yixiao’s face relaxed slightly, and he smiled. “You were also sent by the teacher to do work?”

Xia Zhixu nodded. “Yeah, Professor Yang asked me to help enter grades.”

He sat down at the workstation next to Ning Yixiao as requested and moved the mouse to unlock the screen. He had just entered the information for two people when he suddenly thought of something and turned his head to say to Ning Yixiao, “Oh, by the way, Senior, just now while I was waiting for Professor Yang, I heard him mentioning to another teacher about the exchange program to the United States. You seem to be an alternate on the list. I heard there’s also a seminar coming up, and they will let the students who have the chance to go on the exchange attend it.”

Ning Yixiao paused, then laughed as if he didn’t care. “Is that so? Your sources are much better than mine; I hadn’t heard a word about it.”

“Really?” Xia Zhixu smiled. “Then I guess I’m the first-hand news. It was a coincidence, maybe they forgot I was standing nearby when they were discussing it.”

Ning Yixiao looked at him and realized this was the first time he had seen Xia Zhixu smile. As it turned out, he had a pair of tiger teeth when he smiled. “Zhixu, you’re in a good mood today.”

Xia Zhixu was startled, then smiled a bit sheepishly. “Really?”

“You usually seem to have a lot on your mind. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself; let things take their course.” Ning Yixiao adopted the manner of an elder brother, and after consoling him, he joked, “If spying on the enemy’s situation makes you happy, I don’t mind you helping me scout more. If there’s good news, your senior will treat you to a meal.”

Ning Yixiao’s high emotional intelligence and popularity were famous; Xia Zhixu had known this for a long time. “Then thank you in advance, Senior. Maybe the list will come out during the summer vacation, and I’ll be able to eat that meal next month.”

“Next month? Aren’t you going home?” Ning Yixiao stared at the screen, not looking at him. “I remember you said your home is in Jiangcheng.”

Xia Zhixu’s expression dimmed noticeably. He nodded. “Yeah, I don’t want to go back. Staying at school allows me to work on some projects and learn more things to practice my skills.”

Ning Yixiao smiled and said, “Jiangcheng is a great place. I’ve always wanted to see it; I heard watching the sunset from the Yangtze River Bridge is especially beautiful.”

Xia Zhixu lowered his eyes and twitched the corners of his mouth. “Maybe.”

He shifted his gaze to the clear lake wallpaper on the monitor. “I’ve been up there, but I was too busy to look at the scenery. I’ve almost forgotten it.”

Looking at his expression, Ning Yixiao sensed something. He turned his head and smiled. “That’s okay. Home is right there. As long as you are willing, you will always go back, and you will definitely see it again.”

Xia Zhixu lifted his eyes and said thank you.

“Senior, where is your home?”

In the eyes of their group of juniors, Ning Yixiao was like a perfect existence—brilliant grades, extraordinary talent, academic achievements that were way ahead of the pack. What was rare was that he was also very friendly, had never had a conflict with anyone, and seemed born without a flaw.

But Xia Zhixu understood very well how exhausting it was to be a friendly and enthusiastic person, and he occasionally wondered if someone like Ning Yixiao would ever feel tired.

“My home…” Ning Yixiao smiled. “I grew up in a small fishing village. You probably wouldn’t know it if I told you. To put it broadly, it’s in Beibin Province.”

Xia Zhixu was very tactful and didn’t ask further. “It must be very happy to live by the sea, especially when the sun is shining…”

Ning Yixiao’s smile gradually faded.

“The sea has a dark side, too.”

Hearing this, Xia Zhixu turned his head to look at him, seeing that his habitually smiling face looked cold. But it was only for a second, because Ning Yixiao soon smiled again.

“The sea at night is like an oil swamp, windy and rough. It looks a bit scary, but it’s also very special. You can try going to the seaside at night next time.”

His tone was natural, as if that moment of coldness had just been an illusion.

Xia Zhixu nodded. “Alright.”

The two did not continue any further topics, each doing their own work. Xia Zhixu’s was relatively light, so he finished quickly, said goodbye to him, and left.

The room was once again left with only Ning Yixiao.

He tapped on the keyboard, the symbols flickering incessantly like seagulls flying in the night sky.

Very inappropriately, Ning Yixiao really wanted to return to his rented room, do nothing, and just stare at that kitten doll.

Or, to hide with Su Hui in that blue cocoon.