Chapter 71: Thorn

“Congratulations on wrapping up!”

“We’re wrapped, we’re wrapped!”

The world of the past was in turmoil, a dream of gold-leaf paper shattering. Shen Xici, lost in a hundred-year-old scroll painting, was jolted awake, still struggling to distinguish between story and reality, when he was knocked back a few steps by a lunging Lu Jiming.

Lu Jiming’s eyes were red. “What do I do, brother? I can’t hold back the tears. We… we really made this movie…”

Too much had happened along the way that couldn’t be explained to outsiders. From writing the script and drawing storyboards with stubborn hope in a cramped, dilapidated house in an urban village, to going alone to a border town to try and get Zhong Yue to read the script, getting injured and hospitalized. Then, he met Shen Xici. Together, they schemed to find investors, ran all over the city looking for cheap locations, found suitable actors one by one, assembled a team, rented equipment, nailed down stylistic details, and repeatedly adjusted the script…

The set itself was a daily whirlwind of major and minor incidents. Today a light broke, tomorrow the set manager and props assistant got into a fight, the day after there weren’t enough boxed lunches for the extras. There was also a studio fire, their location got snatched, Shen Xici was injured… A thousand loose ends, all while racing against a Spring Festival release date. The countdown clock hung over their heads, a daily reminder that the Lunar New Year was one day closer.

It was Lu Jiming’s first time directing. Shen Xici had experience from filming in his past life, but he had only observed how directors on those sets directed and how different departments collaborated. When it came to actual practice, they seemed to step into a pitfall every few steps.

But no matter what, they had crossed this turbulent river full of hidden reefs.

Lu Jiming swallowed hard, sniffling. “I won’t say anything else. You, Lu Jiming, are my brother for life!”

His fair, boyish face looked haggard and world-weary, with heavy dark circles under his eyes. His hair had grown a little longer, and because he had cut it himself, the unevenness was more obvious. He looked disheveled from head to toe.

Shen Xici patted his back, which had become so thin it was bony. “Even if we’re good brothers, I’ll still push you to edit.” He reminded him, “Today is November third. There are exactly three and a half months until the release on February seventeenth next year.”

“Why are you such a buzzkill?” Lu Jiming’s eyes widened, his emotional moment gone. He said in a stuffy voice, “I’ll go back and do a rough cut of what we filmed these past two days, then send the rough cut for review. The review process is painfully slow, but our subject matter isn’t sensitive, so it shouldn’t be a big problem. I’ll work on the sound effects and color grading while I wait, then do the fine cut and add the score.”

Lu Jiming felt like his procrastination was being cured by Shen Xici. He boldly declared, “I’m telling you, from today until the movie is released, don’t even think about seeing me a second time!”

“Alright, I’ll be waiting for you,” Shen Xici said, offering him a future reward. “When you’re done, I’ll treat you to a celebratory feast of mountain and sea delicacies.”

“Oh, that’s too much. It’s just finished, not even released yet. A feast of mountain and sea delicacies is so expensive!” Lu Jiming was a bit embarrassed, but couldn’t suppress a snicker. “Half a table, half a table is enough. Remember to ask the owner for a discount and free drinks!”

After his excitement, he grew a little anxious. “Although I feel that with this movie, you and me, a power duo, we’re terrifyingly strong. But an unexpected flop isn’t impossible…”

Shen Xici patted his shoulder. “It won’t be. Doesn’t your name already give the answer? The sky is already bright. We will definitely succeed with this movie.”

Muttering the words “the sky is already bright,” Lu Jiming stared at Shen Xici for a long while, then suddenly choked up. “You… you should stop being sentimental, I’m really going to cry! What if I get photographed with a face full of snot and tears? It’ll become an early dark history for the future world-famous director, Mr. Lu Jiming!”

Shen Xici: “…You have such a heavy idol burden.”

After taking the wrap photos and forwarding the Weibo post for the crew’s promotion, Shen Xici felt completely drained.

He sent Lan Xiaoshan to the studio to work with Ge Lanjing. After returning to the inner garden, Shen Xici slept in Shuyu Shanfang for a whole night and a day. Then he spent his days lazily tending to the flowers with the gardeners of Jiezhou Garden, organizing the library with Butler Laisen, and when he had nothing else to do, he would just wander aimlessly in the garden. It took him several days to gradually emerge from the shadow of Gu Changsheng.

Lying in the Feipu Pavilion, the sound of water rustling, an ancient book he’d found in Jiezhou Garden’s library covering his face, Shen Xici was dozing off.

Hearing his phone ring, his well-proportioned hand fumbled on the wooden table a few times. His fingertips touched the phone, and he brought it to his ear. “Hello?”

“Sleeping?” a smiling voice came through. “You’ve wrapped. You can have a few comfortable days now.”

Snatching the book off his face, Shen Xici’s eyes squinted against the sunlight outside. He was surprised. “Teacher Wen?”

“It’s me,” Wen Yage said, the sound of a lighter clicking on her end. “How is it? Have you recovered from the role?”

Shen Xici rested his wrist on his forehead, helpless. “Teacher Wen, are you sure you haven’t installed a surveillance camera near me?”

Wen Yage chuckled. “Did I guess right? That’s perfect then. Come out for a meal, get in touch with the real world. Maybe after a good meal or two, you’ll completely snap out of character.”

“You’re back in Ningcheng?” Shen Xici sat up, cross-legged, leaning against a pillar of the Feipu Pavilion, and ran a hand through his slightly longer hair.

He had been on Weibo two days ago and saw Wen Yage attending a jewelry brand’s launch event in Paris. The brand had provided her with a full set of emerald high jewelry worth nearly a hundred million, completely overshadowing all the other celebrities on stage.

After the group photo was released, marketing accounts all sighed that Wen Yage was so relaxed at such events, her confidence as a top actress showing at a glance. Every smile and expression was radiant.

“The Jinyun Awards ceremony is in two days. I came back to adjust to the time difference and get some good sleep. If the close-up shots show any fatigue, I don’t even have to think to know that those green-eyed people who are jealous of me will be directing their water army to attack my appearance again.” Wen Yage asked, “You’re in Ningcheng, right? How about tonight?”

During the bullying incident on set last time, both Wen Yage and Zhong Yue had asked him if he needed them to step in and clarify the situation. Shen Xici had politely declined. In that situation, there was no need to drag them into it, and it might have even backfired, with people saying he had a strong backing and could command the male and female leads to speak up.

Shen Xici had always remembered this kindness. “Okay, then it’s my treat, Teacher Wen.”

Shen Xici asked Butler Laisen to help book a table at the Plum Garden, the same place Sheng Shaoyan had taken him. He pre-ordered two medicinal dishes that were good for energy and complexion, and arrived half an hour earlier than the agreed time.

The sky had just darkened. Crossing the small stone bridge, Shen Xici took a picture and sent it to Sheng Shaoyan: [They put a small river lantern in the water. It wasn’t here last time we came.]

Sheng Shaoyan replied a moment later: [It’s beautiful. Do you like it?]

Shen Xici was just thinking, if he answered that he liked it—

A new message popped up.

[I’ll have someone prepare the materials. We can make one together and put it in the lotus pond at Jiezhou Garden.]

It was always like this. Any sudden thought would be received and responded to.

His finger hovered over the screen. After a moment, Shen Xici typed one word: [Okay.]

[Tell me when you’re about to finish. I’ll come pick you up.]

He was typing that he could wear a mask and take a taxi back when he saw another message from Sheng Shaoyan.

[Let’s go home together.]

Those four words registered in his eyes, and Shen Xici’s resistance crumbled. He deleted the refusal he had already typed and replied anew.

Sheng Shaoyan really knew how to make it impossible for him to refuse.

Just then, Shen Xici noticed someone not far ahead, wearing a loose sweater and a slim long skirt, with a wide-brimmed black hat. Their back and walking posture looked very much like Wen Yage.

Wen Yage came so early? Shen Xici had just quickened his pace to catch up when he saw her suddenly lean on a nearby streetlight, her body swaying.

“Teacher Wen!”

Half an hour later, in a private room overlooking the lake, Shen Xici looked at Wen Yage sitting opposite him. Remembering the sight of her collapsing, he was still very worried. “Are you sure you don’t want to go to the hospital?”

“It’s not some terminal illness, just low blood sugar. No need to be so nervous.” Wen Yage had eaten a bowl of sweet soup and had recovered quite a bit, though her face was still pale, a clear sign she wasn’t feeling well.

Putting down the porcelain spoon, Wen Yage saw Shen Xici’s worried face and smiled wearily. “Alright, it’s not a rare thing for female celebrities to have low blood sugar. We can’t eat enough and have to cut out sugar. Eight out of ten of us have it. I have to wear a gown and walk the red carpet in a couple of days. After this meal tonight, I’ll have to start my ‘fasting and immortal cultivation’ again.”

Speaking of which, she asked, “What about you? Have you picked out your clothes for the awards ceremony?”

Seeing that she had indeed regained her spirits, Shen Xici nodded. “Yes, my agent contacted Delphi and borrowed an outfit from their latest season.”

“Your agent is quite diligent. Although you have a lot of heat right now, technically you only have one released work, and it’s just a supporting role. It’s very good that you could borrow from Delphi. But,” Wen Yage propped her head on one hand, her curly hair falling, “I have some news. Do you want to hear it?”

Shen Xici pondered for a moment. “Is it related to the brand Delphi?”

“Smart. In the early years, Delphi’s upper management was very close to Cheng Ningyu, and this relationship has been maintained. I only found out by chance, so it’s normal for your agent not to know. Aren’t you and Xu Lingjia and his mother at odds? In this circle, sometimes personal connections are more important than contractual spirit. Anyway, just pay more attention yourself.”

Wen Yage’s hint was enough. Shen Xici understood. “Okay, I’ll have my agent pay attention. Thank you, Teacher Wen.”

“Alright, enough with the ‘Teacher Wen, Teacher Wen.’ I got tired of hearing it on set.”

Shen Xici nodded. “Okay, Teacher Wen. I understand, Teacher Wen.”

Wen Yage was amused by him and shot him a playful glare. “Say that again?”

Shen Xici also laughed. “Okay, Sister Yage.”

It wasn’t obvious in photos, but sitting face-to-face, Shen Xici could see at a glance that Wen Yage had lost a lot of weight since “Mountain Range” wrapped. Her collarbones were deeply sunken, and the sweater looked baggy on her. Shen Xici made small talk, “Is Sister Yage on a diet?”

Wen Yage’s tone was nonchalant. “Yeah, I’ve lost seven pounds. Five more to go.”

Shen Xici was genuinely surprised. Wen Yage was already very thin, able to fit into extremely demanding haute couture gowns without any pressure. Even anti-fans couldn’t find a single flaw in her photos and videos. He guessed, “Is it for a new role that requires weight loss?”

“Yes. I auditioned for three roles these past few months, turned down two. The script for the remaining one is out, but it’s not in pre-production yet. I’m waiting for filming to start.” Wen Yage suddenly asked, “What kind of roles do you think I’ve played before?”

According to the timeline from his past life, Wen Yage should be preparing for “The Grand Theft” right now. It sounded like the female lead of “The Grand Theft” might have been one of the two roles she turned down. As for her past roles, Shen Xici reviewed them in his mind, even thinking about the movies Wen Yage made later in his past life, and came up with two descriptions: “alluring and amorous, with captivating eyes.”

“Do you think those roles are good?”

Shen Xici said seriously, “Does Sister Yage want to hear my honest opinion?”

Wen Yage’s expression was light and calm. “Of course. Why else would I ask you? Just say whatever comes to mind.”

“I think you played those roles very well. Your acting is commendable, and some scenes could be used as case studies in film school classes. However, the roles themselves and the directors’ perspectives were always missing something. They didn’t fully showcase your qualities.”

Wen Yage’s lips curved. “You really don’t hold back. If those famous directors heard you, they’d probably be so angry they’d spit blood for three days and blacklist you immediately.”

“You were the one who asked me to speak,” Shen Xici said with an innocent expression, but his words were merciless. “Sister Yage, you are very beautiful and your acting is excellent, but for some reason, those directors all invariably emphasize your glamorous allure. Including Director Wan Shan. Even though Du Yu is a highly capable female police officer, in Director Wan Shan’s lens, she still wears a perfect high ponytail, a tight combat suit, and moves through the mountain forest looking beautiful, charming, and alluring. It’s as if they can’t find any other quality in you besides that one angle.”

Shen Xici then added a disclaimer out of a strong survival instinct, “I’m not saying being alluring is bad. In this lane, no other artist in the circle can surpass you. But after acting for so many years, Sister Yage might not be satisfied with this version of herself anymore.”

Wen Yage was noncommittal. “You really are daring.”

Shen Xici: “I only dared to analyze it because I remembered you posted on Weibo a month or two ago saying you wanted to break through a bottleneck.”

Wen Yage took a slender ladies’ cigarette from a metal case, merely smelled it, toyed with it in her hand, but didn’t light it. “This issue of homogenization, it’s not just you who’s said it. Many professional film critics have said the same. Some even say that if I don’t break through this bottleneck, I’m fated to be a two-time Best Actress winner for life, and my career ends here.”

She looked out the window for a while. “How could I be content with that?”

Shen Xici’s thoughts turned. “The new role you took, is it to break through this bottleneck?”

“Yes, Director Liang Fengqi’s new film.” Wen Yage remembered when she went to the audition, the other party had looked her up and down as if assessing an object. That gaze made her feel as if she were naked.

Lighting the cigarette, she took a drag to suppress the nausea in her heart, then stubbed it out. “I went to audition, and he said I was too fat, that my waist wasn’t thin enough. It had to be at least an inch smaller to be eye-catching enough in clothes.”

“So you started dieting?”

“Yes, I read the first draft of the script. The story is good, and Director Liang’s personal style has always been popular with awards committees. The probability of winning an award is not low. For a third trophy, losing these twelve pounds is well worth it.”

Even if she was unhappy, she could endure it.

Shen Xici knew of Liang Fengqi. He was a rare director who had won an award for an arthouse film that also grossed over a hundred million at the box office. But in his past life, apart from that award-winning masterpiece, Director Liang’s next two films had received mediocre responses. Shen Xici had seen both of those films and could only say that he didn’t like his work.

And Wen Yage, in his past life, had indeed not won a third award before he died.

Shen Xici pondered for a moment. “Can I share my thoughts?”

Wen Yage turned her head, her spirits lifting a little. “Go ahead.”

“Director Liang’s lens is like his own eyes. The female protagonists under his lens, whether they are mistresses or prostitutes, are always as delicate and alluring as flowers, very attractive. But I believe the women he films are more like women in the eyes of men, a projection of fantasy, rather than women themselves. Even if the female character suffers, it’s the kind of suffering men perceive, usually related to sex, leading to degeneration and decay.”

Shen Xici said bluntly, “This director is not suitable for you, and his roles are not suitable for you either.”

Wen Yage listened and laughed. “You, you really have a lot of nerve, daring to tell me what to do, and even daring to criticize Director Liang. Remember, once you leave this room, don’t say a single word of this outside.”

Wen Yage wasn’t angry, nor did she feel offended by a newcomer who had debuted less than a year ago. She thought for a moment. “Then what kind of director, what kind of role, do you think is suitable for me?”

Shen Xici looked at the person sitting opposite him.

Perhaps because she had come from the bottom, fighting for and seizing every opportunity and every role herself, Shen Xici had always felt that Wen Yage possessed a kind of resilience, like a plant that absorbs all nutrients and grows upward with all its might. Even if one day it is broken by the wind or cut by a knife, it will sprout anew from the break.

Beyond her feminine charm and attractiveness, she possessed, even more, the strength to pull herself out of the mud.

Shen Xici said seriously, “All the directors have filmed you as a rose, but you don’t have to be a rose. You can also be a thorn.”

Plate after plate of colorful and fragrant dishes were served, and the table fell silent for a moment.

Wen Yage ate while thinking about Shen Xici’s words. When she came to, she found her hungry stomach soothed by the delicious food. She sighed in comfort, “Dieting is really not a human activity. Being hungry makes me so irritable.”

Noticing the ring on Shen Xici’s hand, she remembered the man whose presence was even more domineering than a domineering CEO. “How are things with your boyfriend? Still together?”

“Boyfriend?” Shen Xici was drinking soup and almost choked. He reacted almost instantly. “You mean… A’Shao?”

“Yes, unless you have a second boyfriend?”

Why did everyone think Sheng Shaoyan was his boyfriend? Lan Xiaoshan thought so, and now even Wen Yage thought so.

Thinking of Wen Yage’s rich relationship history, Shen Xici hesitated for a moment and didn’t deny it right away. He tentatively asked, “Actually, things between him and me right now… are not so good.”

“Had a fight?”

“We didn’t fight, just have some disagreements.” Shen Xici chose his words carefully. “Actually, my health isn’t very good. There’s a serious genetic disease in my family, and most don’t live long. So I’ve always been very pessimistic about this… intimate relationship. I was just thinking, if I continue to be with him, and one day I get sick and just stop breathing in front of him, would that be too cruel to him?”

“Too cruel to him?” Wen Yage asked back. “Then isn’t it cruel to you?”

Shen Xici was stunned. “What?”

“You’re worried you’ll get a genetic disease and might die one day, so you suppress your feelings and force yourself to give up and break up with your boyfriend. Then, aren’t you being cruel to yourself?”

Wen Yage saw the bewildered look on Shen Xici’s face and knew he had probably never considered it for himself, never thought about the problem from his own perspective. So she said it more directly.

“Look, you have a high chance of getting a genetic disease, you don’t know which day you’ll die young. You’re already miserable and pitiful enough. If you can’t even follow your heart and be with the person you like, and have to break up, isn’t that even more pitiful?”

After hearing this, Shen Xici was silent for a moment. “I’ve never thought about this problem.”

“A person can be a little more selfish,” Wen Yage leaned back in her chair, looking at Shen Xici. “Now, if you ignore all other factors and just listen to your heart, what is your answer?”

The answer…

Shen Xici’s fingers tightened around the spoon. For the first time, he spoke his true desire, “I… like him a lot. I want to be with him.”

“Good,” having gotten the answer, Wen Yage twirled a strand of her hair and continued, “Now look, because of this, you unilaterally want to break up. Your boyfriend loves you very much. Isn’t that also quite cruel to your boyfriend? Something that hasn’t even happened has become the reason for a breakup.”

Shen Xici couldn’t help but say, “But it’s like… I have a time bomb in my body. It could go off any day—”

“But it hasn’t gone off yet, has it?”

“But what if it does—”

“Shen Xici,” Wen Yage interrupted him, her gaze having the power to pierce one’s soul. She asked with a solemn tone, “Where do you live? Do you live in the present, or in a future that hasn’t happened?”

Her tone softened again. “The worst-case scenario is just that it really does explode. Then, whether to stay together or break up, you can decide then. Besides, Shen Xici, have you ever considered another possibility?”

Shen Xici met Wen Yage’s gaze. “…What possibility?”

Wen Yage said seriously, “Perhaps, this bomb will never explode in your lifetime.”

“But—” Shen Xici’s fingers curled, clenching into a fist. His voice grew low. “But, worrying every moment whether I will die, this kind of haunting fear, it’s enough for me to endure it alone. I don’t want him to suffer this torment with me.”

Wen Yage’s eyes were calm. “Shen Xici, what right do you have to make the choice for him?”

“I…” Shen Xici’s lips moved. He wanted to retort, but then closed his mouth.

Undeniably, he had, without Sheng Shaoyan’s knowledge, under the guise of acting for his own good, deprived him of the right to choose.

“You only need to ask yourself if you want to be with him or not. As for his decision, your boyfriend is an adult with a clear mind. He knows what he wants and what the price is. He will weigh it and make a choice. If he can’t accept it, he won’t be with you. If he decides to be with you, it means he is willing to pay that price.”

His long-held belief was shaken at this moment.

Because his congenital insensitivity to pain was a secret that had to be kept strictly, Shen Xici had never discussed this topic with anyone. He had no close person to consult with for advice.

He had always analyzed, thought, and then made his choices and decisions on his own.

Following Wen Yage’s line of thought, he knew Sheng Shaoyan. Sheng Shaoyan was like a lighthouse in a storm, or a mountain ridge in a downpour. Nothing could shake him.

That was why just being by Sheng Shaoyan’s side gave him a sense of security.

And Sheng Shaoyan’s recent performance and actions all indicated that he had already made a choice.

Shen Xici touched the ring on his finger. Under his fingertip, the carved gold pattern was distinct, the totem of a star trailing a tail of light.

Sheng Shaoyan was willing to pay the price.

But, Shen Xici asked himself, was he worth that price?

He wasn’t sure.