Chapter 87: Don’t Tie It

Although he was in a different place, perhaps because Sheng Shaoyan was right beside him, Shen Xici slept very soundly all night. When he woke up, he was alone in the master bedroom. He vaguely remembered that when Sheng Shaoyan got up, he seemed to have kissed his forehead, touched his face, and tucked him in before leaving.

The moment he opened his eyes was breathtaking, like being transported into a medieval palace. The high, massive dome of the master bedroom was painted with a Baroque-style fresco. The chandelier was hung with hundreds or thousands of Austrian crystals, and as they hung down, it was as if an amber-colored light was flowing through them.

What Shen Xici found most exaggerated was the large bed he was on. Four bedposts carved with laurel and grapevine supported layers upon layers of drapery. The outer layer was dark green velvet, the middle was handmade lace, and the innermost layer was ivory-white silk crepe.

After rolling over twice, Shen Xici saw a book on the bedside table. It must have been what Sheng Shaoyan was reading after he woke up in the morning. He couldn’t help but bury his face in the soft pillow and take a sniff. The familiar scent of a moonlit forest still lingered faintly.

Suddenly, he missed him very much.

Shen Xici had never had this feeling before, to yearn for a person’s body heat, to want to hear a person’s voice, and upon opening his eyes, to have an urgent desire to see the other person.

Stepping barefoot on the soft carpet, Shen Xici pulled open the heavy silk curtains. The distant woods were shrouded in mist, the lake’s surface was like a bright mirror, and a tall, dark brown thoroughbred horse was drinking by the lake.

Shen Xici recognized at a glance that the person on the horse was Sheng Shaoyan.

The sensation of his heartbeat became clear. He stood by the floor-to-ceiling window, leaning against the glass, staring at this scene for a while.

From a great distance, Sheng Shaoyan suddenly turned his head and glanced in his direction.

Quickly, Shen Xici ducked to the side, feeling the subtle sensation of being caught peeking.

He didn’t know why he did that. Perhaps it was because the feelings in his heart were too much, and the part that was exposed surprised even himself, so he was shy to let the other person discover it.

After washing up and getting dressed, Shen Xici habitually checked his temperature and blood pressure data. After confirming that everything was normal, he pushed open the heavy, gilded wooden door and walked out along the corridor from memory.

Descending the curved staircase to the dining room, Shen Xici quickly finished his breakfast, greeted Butler Laisen in a hurry, and then walked briskly outside the castle.

The lawn was too big, and the lake was too wide. Shen Xici looked around but didn’t see Sheng Shaoyan’s figure. He was thinking about whether to make a phone call when he heard the sound of approaching horse hooves.

Shen Xici turned around. A fine horse galloped with its hooves raised high. Sheng Shaoyan was on its back, leaning forward like a sharp longsword, coming towards him with the wind.

He was not wearing a full riding suit. The shafts of his leather riding boots wrapped around his straight calves. The white silk shirt he wore underneath had its collar open, and over it was a military-style woolen coat. The brass buttons seemed to be condensed with the morning’s thin frost.

With a sudden stop, the four-limbed, sleek-coated thoroughbred horse stopped steadily in front of him. Sheng Shaoyan held the reins with one hand in a deerskin glove, and the other hand loosely held a riding crop, exuding a wild tension and attraction.

Shen Xici admitted that he had been bewitched for the nth time. When Sheng Shaoyan leaned down from the horse and held out his hand to him, he unhesitatingly used the momentum to sit in front of Sheng Shaoyan.

His back was pressed against Sheng Shaoyan’s chest, with no gap between them. Sheng Shaoyan’s arms were around him from both sides, holding the reins, and they slowly moved forward along the edge of the lake.

“Were you just peeking at me from behind the window?”

Shen Xici was shocked. Did this person have hawk eyes? How could he have spotted him from so far away?

He neither admitted nor denied it, saying righteously, “Didn’t you also steal a kiss from me when you woke up?”

Who knew that Sheng Shaoyan would suddenly lower his head slightly, his tone consultative, “Then should I let you kiss me back?”

Shen Xici couldn’t help but laugh. He turned his head and gave him a firm kiss on the cheek, saying seriously, “A’Shao, I miss you very much.”

It was clearly only a few tens of minutes since they had last seen each other, but the feeling of missing him was just that baseless.

Because of this sudden confession, Sheng Shaoyan’s eyes narrowed slightly, their color darkening. Before Shen Xici could sit up straight again, he used the hand holding the riding crop to grasp the reins, and with the hand in the deerskin glove, he stroked Shen Xici’s chin, applying gentle pressure, forcing Shen Xici’s neck to straighten, his head tilting back as if in sacrifice. Then, in the whistling morning wind, he kissed him hard, full of aggression and desire.

As their lips and teeth intertwined, he asked in a low voice, “How much did you miss me, hmm?”

Shen Xici’s eyes were unfocused, the corners of his mouth moist. He couldn’t answer at all. He only felt his whole body heating up. That unsatisfied craving appeared again. He tightly gripped Sheng Shaoyan’s sleeve and instinctively asked for more, “A’Shao, touch me…”

Sheng Shaoyan was like a generous master manipulator. His hand slid under his clothes, caressing his fine, firm waist.

Feeling the person in his arms tremble, his lips slightly parted, Sheng Shaoyan was tempted to kiss him deeply again.

The wind blowing under his shirt chilled his waist, but the scorching palm drove away the cold. Shen Xici mumbled, “Will we be… seen?”

Gently biting his lip, hinting at his lack of concentration, Sheng Shaoyan then reassured him with certainty, “Don’t worry, no one dares to look.”

The horse’s hooves stepped into the woods, and the daylight dimmed. The only sound was the faint rustle of old, dry leaves being trampled. The pines and cypresses were a deep green. Some of the trees’ branches were still bare, bending towards the sky like ink lines drawn on a white canvas, clear and sparse.

The corners of Shen Xici’s eyes and his lips were flushed red. His eyes seemed to be brimming with water. Under his shirt, there was a slight rise and fall, and one could see a large hand caressing his upper waist, not too lightly, not too heavily. His breathing trembled. “A’Shao—”

Sheng Shaoyan responded with a “mm,” and kissed his cheek and hair. “You asked for it yourself.”

Shen Xici closed his eyes, feeling a sense of regret for having invited the wolf into his house. But this intimacy was indeed what he wanted. He could only adjust his breathing, trying his best not to let his emotions show too obviously.

Only when he was sure that they really couldn’t continue any further did Sheng Shaoyan take his hand out, put on his deerskin glove again, and hold the riding crop.

An unfamiliar bird flew past not far away, perched on a branch, and looked at them with curious black eyes.

Shen Xici took several deep breaths, trying to turn his attention elsewhere. “When I was a child, I loved to play in the woods. There was no one in the mountains, it was very quiet, but there were little birds, small animals, and trees all over the mountains. It was another kind of liveliness. When Grandpa He found out, he would sometimes take me with him when he went into the mountains. He knew a lot of medicinal herbs. He could identify what kind of bird was perched on a tree by the feathers dropped under the tree and its call, with about eighty to ninety percent accuracy. He was very amazing. I loved following behind him, listening to him casually explain a few things—what medicinal herb treated what illness, what the feng shui of a certain place was like. When I pestered him with questions, he would tell me to go find the book on a certain shelf to read after we got down the mountain.”

The air was filled with a clear, woody scent. Sheng Shaoyan squeezed the horse’s belly with his legs, continuing along the path deeper into the woods.

“My mother was like that too.”

Rarely hearing Sheng Shaoyan mention his mother, Shen Xici curiously asked, “Did your mother also make you go back and read books yourself?”

“Yes. Before I was seven, I lived with her in an ordinary neighborhood. The house was very small, and she had turned one of the rooms into a study and a specimen exhibition room. On weekends, she would often take me camping in the forest. During the day, I would observe all kinds of plants, big and small, with her. When she encountered something she was interested in, she would have me take notes beside her—whether there were fine hairs on the petals, whether the edges of the leaves were serrated, what shape the pistil was. Sometimes she would even kneel on the muddy ground and use a magnifying glass to observe the leaf veins, the corolla, the stigma, very focused. At night, after setting up the tent and turning off the horse lantern, it would be pitch black all around. Usually at this time, I would have many questions. At first, she would be very patient, but later, she would send me back to read books myself, telling me not to disturb her while she was applying her face mask and organizing her notes.”

In both his past life and this one, Shen Xici had never met Katerina, but in his mind, he always felt that she was a wise, cool, and wind-like woman, who would brush past one’s fingertips like the wind, but whom no one could hold onto.

“Do you miss her?”

“A long time ago, yes. Later, no.” Sheng Shaoyan’s emotions showed no fluctuation. “She had her own vast life to live, she shouldn’t have been trapped by my side and in this old-fashioned family. To her, a necklace with dozens of sparkling diamonds was not as good as the brilliant starry sky above her head.”

As he swayed on the horse’s back, a strange thought occurred to Shen Xici. “If you hadn’t returned to the Sheng family, but had always lived with her, what would you be like now?”

Sheng Shaoyan knew himself well. “There is no ‘if.’ But even if I didn’t choose the Sheng family, I wouldn’t be like her, repeating her footsteps and trajectory. The freedom I desire is built on the accumulation of money and power.”

Perhaps this was a natural-born ruler? Sheng Shaoyan never concealed his ambition. No matter what his status was, no matter which path he took, in the end, he would make that path lead to the top of the pyramid.

Shen Xici tilted his head back and kissed the corner of Sheng Shaoyan’s mouth.

Sheng Shaoyan met his clear gaze and understood the emotion in it at a glance. “You like it?”

Shen Xici nodded. “Yes, I love you like this.”

He casually picked a few leaves suitable for playing a tune, holding one in his hand and tucking the others into Sheng Shaoyan’s coat pocket. It had been a long time since he had played. He tried the sound, found the tune, and played more and more smoothly as he went on.

The melodious tune passed through the gaps in the tree canopy. In the sky, which was cut into pieces by countless branches, lead-gray clouds had accumulated. The air was full of moisture, and even breathing it in felt damp.

A drop of water fell on Shen Xici’s neck. He shivered from the cold and shrank his neck. “A’Shao, is it raining?”

“You can’t get wet from the rain. Sit tight, I’m speeding up.” Sheng Shaoyan undid his coat, wrapped Shen Xici in it, and then squeezed the horse’s belly. With great tacit understanding, the brown steed broke into a run.

Fine threads of rain began to fall on his face. Shen Xici’s past memories were stirred. “Once, on the ‘Mountain Range’ set, we also encountered rain on our way back after work. You were riding a motorcycle, and I kept looking back, worried that the rain cloud would catch up to us!”

Sheng Shaoyan’s horsemanship was superb. He maneuvered the horse over a dead tree on the ground. As he ducked to avoid a slanting branch, he took the opportunity to kiss Shen Xici. “Yes, I remember it all.”

They rushed out of the woods. The castle was not far away. The lake’s surface was already dotted with circles of ripples from the rain. The two of them dismounted in front of the main gate. A servant immediately led the horse to the stables, while Sheng Shaoyan took Shen Xici, whose hair was damp from the fine rain, back to the master bedroom.

After a hot bath, the cold in his body was completely dispelled. Shen Xici came out of the bathroom wearing a bathrobe and found that Sheng Shaoyan seemed to have also taken a shower and changed his clothes. He was sitting on a chair by the big bed, reading the original-language book he hadn’t finished in the morning.

When focused, Sheng Shaoyan was completely silent. Shen Xici’s feet were silent on the carpet. He was guessing when Sheng Shaoyan would notice him when he was caught by the other’s gaze.

As their eyes met, Shen Xici’s throat inexplicably went dry. He couldn’t help but walk over quickly and sit face-to-face on Sheng Shaoyan’s lap.

Sheng Shaoyan touched his face, which was flushed from the hot water. “Are you still cold?”

Shen Xici shook his head. “Not anymore. Based on my past experience, I won’t get sick.”

The fingertips on his cheek slid down to the side of his neck, his collarbone, and finally rested on the side of his waist, rubbing as he had on horseback. Shen Xici noticed that the sensitivity in his body, which had just subsided, was awakened again.

Sheng Shaoyan’s voice was filled with a leisurely ease. “Closer. Let me check if you’re injured anywhere.”

Hearing the word “check,” Shen Xici, as if by conditioned reflex, instinctively held his breath, his mouth and tongue dry.

Fingers with neatly trimmed, curved nails touched his lips. Shen Xici had already subconsciously opened his mouth, letting the fingertips explore past his lips, his tongue, the inside of his mouth.

Warm and slippery. Sheng Shaoyan, with a calm expression, hooked the moist mucous membrane of his mouth. When he pulled his finger out, it was covered in a thin, watery sheen.

“No wounds. Xici was very good. You didn’t bite your own lip.”

Once before, he really couldn’t help it and bit his lip. Because he couldn’t feel pain, he didn’t even know he had bitten two bloody wounds inside his mouth. Later, it was during a kiss that Sheng Shaoyan noticed something was wrong and found the still-bleeding wounds.

Shen Xici was at fault and couldn’t refute it at all.

The belt of his bathrobe was untied. His cool, fair skin under the light was like it was covered in a layer of honey. Sheng Shaoyan’s hand moved down from his spine, over his shoulder blades, to his waist, and then went to check the joints of his shoulders, elbows, and wrists.

Every time they checked, Shen Xici’s ending was a complete rout. Sheng Shaoyan’s checks were very thorough and complete, but because he was worried that he didn’t know pain and wouldn’t notice if he got injured, he never went to the final step.

As before, after the check and confirming there were no injuries, Sheng Shaoyan pulled the bathrobe that had piled up at his waist back up.

When he was about to tie the belt, Shen Xici, with a courage from who knows where, pressed Sheng Shaoyan’s hand. “Don’t…”

Sheng Shaoyan looked up at him. “Don’t what?”

Shen Xici’s courage weakened a little, but he still firmly repeated, “Don’t tie it.”

Don’t tie the belt.

Sheng Shaoyan’s gaze darkened inch by inch.

He understood what Shen Xici meant, but he was still restrained. “You’ll get hurt.”

Shen Xici simply stopped talking and, still sitting on Sheng Shaoyan’s lap, kissed him.

After a brief pause, Sheng Shaoyan used his arms and waist to stand up, holding him.

After the world spun around, Shen Xici was lying on his back on the four-poster bed, facing the angels hiding behind the clouds in the fresco on the dome. His vision was blurred and dizzy from the light refracted by the crystals.

The corners of his mouth were wet from being kissed, and panting whimpers escaped. Shen Xici was completely defenseless, just enduring it. Sheng Shaoyan’s five fingers threaded through his, pressing his palm against the bedsheet. The collar of his bathrobe was open, and he could see the top of Sheng Shaoyan’s head.

He didn’t know how much time had passed. In a daze, Shen Xici suddenly felt something cold against his ankle.

He asked in a hoarse voice, “A’Shao, what is it?”

With that, he propped himself up to look and found a three-layered ruby anklet on his ankle. It was exceptionally exquisite. The chain was silvery-white, and each pigeon’s blood ruby was a decadent red. They hung down along the curve of his ankle like crushed rose petals scattered on snow.

Shen Xici was confused. “Why suddenly—”

Thinking of a certain possibility, he suddenly stopped.

Sheng Shaoyan lifted his calf and piously placed a kiss on it. “Happy twenty-second birthday, Xici.”

Shen Xici was stunned for a moment. He had not expected Sheng Shaoyan to celebrate his birthday.

Or rather, he himself had forgotten this date.

He had never celebrated his birthday before.

Growing up, on his birthday, Zhuo Suli would lock herself in her room and cry. He didn’t understand why. He just thought Zhuo Suli didn’t like him and didn’t look forward to his birth, so he didn’t think this day needed to be celebrated.

He would look at the calendar every day for more than half a month before his birthday, counting the days, hoping someone in the family would remember that his birthday was coming.

But in the two or three days leading up to his birthday, he would try to make himself forget, as if by ignoring it and forgetting about his birthday himself, it wouldn’t matter if no one remembered.

The coldness of the gems had been melted away by his body heat. Shen Xici thought, so this is what it feels like to receive a birthday present.

He remembered a question he had seen a few days ago.

If you could say one thing to your younger self, what would you say?

Shen Xici had an answer now.

He would tell that very young Shen Xici, who didn’t yet have enough strength to protect himself and adapt to this world, that in the future, someone will celebrate your birthday, will accept and understand everything about you, will be biased towards you, will respond to you, will think you are worthy.

Someone will love you deeply.

Clearly feeling his chest swelling with a sour softness, the intense emotion urged him on, making him want a more intimate contact than just kissing. He murmured, repeating over and over, “A’Shao…”

The corners of his eyes were wet, as if he had been rejected and was unsatisfied. This expression made Sheng Shaoyan want to respond to all his needs, to give him, to satisfy him.

Staring intently at the person beneath him, Sheng Shaoyan kissed him again.

The sound of the rain outside the castle was still torrential. Raindrops hit the glass of the floor-to-ceiling windows, merging with the intermittent sounds from the bedroom, like a sonata.

Between the layers of drapery, the dark green velvet isolated the bed into a sealed space. A long, cool, fair hand reached out from a gap, tightly gripping the folded white lace and crepe.

Not long after, another larger hand covered the back of his. In the slight gap of the dark green velvet curtain that was lifted because of this, Shen Xici was kneeling by the bed, his lips and the corners of his eyes a beautiful red. A hand with well-proportioned knuckles was holding his lean waist, showing a strong possessiveness.

Like a small boat swaying in a storm, tossed up by wave after wave of tides, Shen Xici subconsciously looked for someone who could anchor him, to confirm his existence. He turned his head, his eyes brimming with a watery light that rippled with the movement, and called out in a hoarse voice, “A’Shao.”

He didn’t know that his voice was different from usual, and even different from when they were kissing.

Hoarse, sweet, restrained, and with a hint of a sob.

“You asked for it yourself. Why are you crying now?” Sheng Shaoyan’s wet fingertips pinched his chin. He lowered himself to kiss his lips fiercely, losing control again.