Chapter 101: Side Story 1

At the end of January, the day for a certain platform’s annual UP Awards livestream finally arrived.

With some time left before the broadcast, several rowdy UP fan groups were already in an uproar:

• They haven’t appeared all day. Did they manage to escape or not?
• All the other UPs have checked in on Weibo. Only these two are M.I.A.
• Didn’t someone say Dou-Mom successfully got them leave?
• Shh. Douzi’s homeroom teacher is apparently very fierce.
• It’s mostly because he and Xie Lan are in their senior year.
• As we all know, the second semester of senior year has already started.
• Are they really going to flake tonight? (Exhales smoke ring)
• If they flake, Douzi will miss his chance for Top 100 in this life.
• [Venerable-and-weary.jpg]
• URGENT REPORT!! They’ve arrived!! Douzi just posted a Weibo location!
• !!!
  …

In S-City, outside a large convention center.

“Stop looking at your phone,” Xie Lan said, grabbing one of Dou Sheng’s hands. “Move faster.”

“Coming!” Dou Sheng quickly picked up his pace to catch up. They ran to the side entrance, where a staff member wearing a “Little TV” headpiece greeted them for registration and led them into the auditorium.

The seating area was shrouded in an elegant dimness, scented with commercial fragrance. The livestream hadn’t started yet.

The seats were labeled with name tags. The first row was for the executives; the second row onward was for the Annual Top 100 UPs. Xie Lan and Dou Sheng’s IDs started with ‘X’ and ‘R’ respectively, so they instinctively headed toward the back. After searching for a while without success, A-Ze, dressed in a sharp suit, stood up and pointed toward the front: “You two are up here!”

It turns out they weren’t arranged alphabetically.

Xie Lan glanced back, nodded, and finally found the correct seats in the second row.

From the moment they got off the plane until they entered the venue, they had been sprinting—except for the time spent in the car.

—Originally, Zhao Wenying had helped them request two days of leave. The plan was perfect: fly in yesterday for rehearsal, livestream today, and return tomorrow morning. However, Hu Xiujie initially thought it was a family matter. Only yesterday did she realize they were attending a video platform event, and she immediately went back on her word. Being a recommended student, it didn’t matter for Xie Lan, but with Dou Sheng’s independent recruitment exams approaching, she had kept him until the very last second.

Consequently, they had to switch to today’s flight, running out of school only two hours before takeoff, leaving no time to pack anything.

The livestream room was already open. Several cameras switched between the main promotional board and the audience. On the large synchronized screen, Xie Lan glanced up to see a dense cloud of bullet comments floating by. The font was so small that from a distance, it looked like a rolling field of sesame seeds; he couldn’t make out a single word.

• Dou-za!
• Lan-zai is here!
• Congrats to the duo for escaping!
• Where are they??
• Second row, counting from the left!
• DMEM represent! DMEM represent!

As Xie Lan struggled to read the tiny text, Dou Sheng reached out and pulled on his tie. “It’s crooked.”

“Still?” Xie Lan frowned and looked down, but his perspective was blocked. He couldn’t see the knot, so he leaned in to let Dou Sheng pull it for him.

They were in such a hurry. His black jeans were barely passing for dress slacks, and he was wearing his usual white shirt. After landing, they had just grabbed two random ties from a boutique at the airport and tied them sloppily.

Xie Lan glanced at Dou Sheng’s tie. “Yours isn’t great either. The black jeans weren’t too out of place, but they look weird with a tie.”

Dou Sheng’s hand paused on the tie. “Should we… just not wear them?”

“Let’s not. The platform didn’t strictly require this dress code,” Xie Lan sighed. He reached up, untied Dou Sheng’s tie, and pulled it over his head.

Dou Sheng followed suit, unfastening Xie Lan’s, then crumpled both ties together and stuffed them behind him.

• What are you two doing???
• Bro, I’m drunk, the camera is watching.
• Kids, you’re in public, not your own bedroom stream.
• Undressing each other in broad daylight??
• Why did you stop? Keep going! Don’t stop!

Having regained “collar freedom,” Xie Lan breathed a long sigh of relief and glanced back at the screen full of seemingly excited comments.

“What is the chat saying?” he whispered.

Dou Sheng flipped through the program booklet. “Probably just bored netizens talking nonsense. Maybe official shills hired to warm up the room, which is why they didn’t dare enlarge the text.”

• What are they saying? Any lip-reading masters?
• Xie Lan: What is the chat saying?
• Douzi: Why do you care about them? It’s probably just single dogs being jealous, which is why they don’t dare speak up.
• Damn, the lip shapes actually kind of match.
• I’m going to die laughing at you trolls.

With ten minutes until the official start, operations sent the award sequence notification to every UP’s phone. In previous years, the Top 100 were awarded in four batches alphabetically. This year, it was a random draw.

Dou Sheng leaned in. “What’s your number?”

“First group, second,” Xie Lan said. “You?”

Dou Sheng froze and showed his phone. “Random draw? This is ridiculous.”

[PeerlessHandsomeDou_dm: Group 1, #1. Please proceed backstage within five minutes.]

The audience camera just happened to cut to a second-row close-up. In the frame, Xie Lan was stunned for a moment before suddenly bursting into a smile—the gentle, carefree smile of a youth. “It’s definitely intentional, but it’s perfect. Shall we go?”

“Let’s go.” Dou Sheng stood up, waited for Xie Lan to pass him, and then naturally followed.

Behind them, a wave of heart emojis rolled across the screen.

• Lan-zai’s smile is so sweet.
• I’m betting all my coins on this: they are consecutive numbers!
• Place your bets, family!
• Consecutive numbers +1!
• Pardon me, who are the two UPs the chat is talking about?
• Same question.
• PeerlessHandsomeDou and Xie Lan.
• The two high school boys who just went backstage!

The chat chatted happily until the lights in the hall suddenly went out. Then, the main camera switched to the stage, the spotlight flared, and the host rose from beneath the stage holding a microphone.

“Good evening, everyone. Welcome to the Bilibili Annual POWER UP Awards Ceremony.”

• It’s starting!
• Go go go!
• Exciting!!
• Is it time?

The host gave a brief speech and then invited the opening act: a large-scale musical performance by dozens of Bilibili singers and dancers. The screen was flooded with fans claiming their favorite UPs; various UP memes were everywhere from start to finish.

The first awards were for Outstanding Newcomer UP and Outstanding Livestreamer. After a round of acceptance speeches, it finally reached the Top 100 segment.

The BGM suddenly became grand. The host’s voice rang out: “Please welcome—BILIBILI POWER UP winning UP, PeerlessHandsomeDou_dm.”

The livestream camera instantly cut to the side of the stage. A carefree youth in a white shirt smiled brightly at the camera. A “Little TV” NPC rushed up to hug him; he stepped forward as if to reciprocate but instead just reached out and vigorously ruffled the Little TV’s head before laughing and walking away.

The boy was lean, but his broad shoulders and long legs were undeniable as he jogged toward the podium, his steps as graceful and light as if he were treading on the wind.

The host recited the award citation with cadence:

“The past year marks Douzi’s third year with Bilibili. From the fusion of languages from all corners of the world to a youth measuring the Three Gorges by foot. From subverting character challenges to the output of maintaining and surpassing his own style. His videos span life, gaming, food, anime, and more. His topics are carefree and unrestrained, but his output is full of sincerity, breaking through follower barriers like a hot knife through butter to receive acclaim across the internet. In the new year, Douzi is about to enter university. Let us look forward to more surprises from this wind-treading youth.”

As the citation ended, Dou Sheng arrived at the podium. On the sculpture stood a hundred brilliant golden Little TV figures. One stood alone on the foremost glass display stand, its base engraved with two lines:

[POWER UP 100]

[PeerlessHandsomeDou_dm]

The camera zoomed in for a close-up. Under the spotlights, the golden trophy radiated a crisp, pure brilliance. The Little TV figure looked cute and haughty, yet carried a heavy sense of prestige.

Dou Sheng’s gaze landed on the trophy. He smiled faintly, just as he did in every video appearance, and reached out to pick it up. The high-spiritedness in the youth’s dark eyes was understated and restrained, with a flicker of firm light in his pupils.

Holding the trophy, he turned around, waved lightly to the camera, and strode to the other side of the stage to stand and wait.

• I’m crying, I’m really crying.
• Me too, I didn’t expect to be moved to tears.
• He just ran up and grabbed a trophy, he hasn’t even spoken yet.
• Finally, this day has come.
• PeerlessHandsomeDou deserves it! Well deserved!
• Thinking of last year’s disappointment, I’m really getting misty-eyed.
• He looks so happy!!!
• Dou-Mom loves you!!
• Girlfriend-fan loves you too! I can love you together with Xie Lan!

The tone of the bullet comments was quite split: fans were collectively weeping, while passersby began to poke fun.

• Welcome to the ‘Top 100 Pigeons Standing Penalty’ program.
• I love to see it LOL.
• This UP is so unlucky; being the first on stage means standing until the very end.
• Luckily they grouped it this year. That year, the first person really stood until they cried.
• He actually looks happy. Is this his first year attending?
• He clearly hasn’t experienced the ‘standing penalty’ yet. Look at him peering toward the other side of the stage.

In the frame, Dou Sheng stood in the waiting area with his trophy. Though he had a carefree aura, his movements with the trophy were solemn, holding it with one hand and supporting it with the other. He looked at each camera position as required, but repeatedly and instinctively glanced toward the left.

One particular shot perfectly matched the rhythm of him turning his head for a peek, so the audience followed his gaze to the other side of the stage.

—On the other side, Xie Lan, dressed almost identically to him, was waiting quietly. His frame was slightly smaller than Dou Sheng’s, but equally upright and resilient.

• He’s peeking at him.
• Uwu, as always.
• The two babies are going to win the award standing side-by-side!

“Please welcome, BILIBILI POWER UP winning UP, Xie Lan_em.”

Xie Lan smiled faintly upon hearing his ID. He turned and gave the Little TV NPC a hug. The Little TV figure covered its face and swayed happily from side to side. Then, he walked quickly across the long path to the podium. Halfway there, his gaze met Dou Sheng’s, and the smile in his eyes deepened.

“Xie Lan is an experienced creator. Last year, he started from zero on Bilibili, boldly challenging various types of output. Violin performances, music arrangements, sharing math competition problems… With his full passion, he led niche anime into a larger market with surprises and brought a constant stream of creative vitality to other UPs. Xie Lan and Douzi, two youths traveling together—though fans enjoy ‘mouth-hipping’ (teasing/shipping) for fun, anyone who has seen their videos will naturally understand the cry of the fans: K-S-W-L-O!”

In the frame, Xie Lan’s hand reaching for the trophy suddenly paused. He looked confused for a moment before hesitantly picking it up.

The livestream playfully cut to Dou Sheng in the waiting area. Dou Sheng had also gone instanty numb after the host passionately read out those four letters (KSWL – “Killing me with sweetness”).

The chat exploded on the spot.

• KILLING ME WITH SWEETNESS!!
• KILLING ME!!
• KSWL!!
• KSWL!!
• LOL, the officials know how to play.
• Sasuga, Little TV.

Xie Lan turned around with the trophy. A swarm of cameras followed him. He stiffly made eye contact with each one, his face written with a “doubting life” expression, as he walked silently toward the waiting area.

• LOL, Lan-zai is already cursing in his head.
• Wow, the baby started jogging those last few steps to get closer to Dou Sheng.
• 5555 honestly, can Douzi smile any more happily!
• Me one second ago: The platform is sick. Me the next second: Platform, you are right!

In the frame, Xie Lan casually handed his trophy to Dou Sheng to hold while he tried to use his left hand to fasten a button on his right cuff that had come undone. He failed after a few tries. Dou Sheng whispered something to him, handed both trophies back to him, and then used both hands to carefully fix his sleeve.

By the time the third UP appeared, the chat was still savoring the beauty of that moment.

• If you love him, look at how even a buttonhole on his body has light in it!
• K-S-W-L-O!!
• Help, it’s really so sweet. I’ve never seen Douzi smile this sweetly; his eyes are full of light.
• Lan-zai too 555, he almost never smiles at fans (suddenly sobbing).

As the host recited string after string of citations, the line of awarded UPs in the waiting area gradually grew long. The camera occasionally panned across; among the crowd of formal wear and gowns, the two boys in black jeans and white shirts were particularly eye-catching. Their style was slightly different from those around them, yet so radiant.

Other UPs smiled and greeted each other politely. The two of them stayed close, their shoulders occasionally touching. When speaking, one would always lean in closer unconsciously, their brows filled with smiles.

Xie Lan was getting a bit tired of standing, especially since there was a weird guy next to him.

—A-Ze.

Logically, even if he and A-Ze weren’t friends, they should at least be on friendly terms. But the moment he got near this person, he felt uncomfortable all over—especially when meeting those eyes full of “affection.” It made him start to miss A-Ze’s original snide and sarcastic manner.

Seizing a gap when he and Dou Sheng weren’t talking, A-Ze shook his Little TV trophy in front of Xie Lan. “Idol, being able to win this award with you… I’m really going to choke up.”

Xie Lan tried to convince himself to stay polite and met his gaze for two seconds. “Oh. Hold it in.”

A-Ze was indifferent to his coldness and continued his passionate questioning. “Do you know how much significance this holds for me?”

Xie Lan glanced at him. “How much?”

A-Ze slapped his trophy. “It shines alongside the sun and moon! It is as heavy as Mount Tai!”

“…” Xie Lan’s newly accumulated friendliness was instantly depleted. He retracted his gaze expressionlessly. “I don’t understand. Not a single word.”

Dou Sheng couldn’t help but kindly remind A-Ze, “Quick, turn around. Your fans are going to spam the chat calling you a ‘licker’ (simp) again.”

“What do they know about idols?” A-Ze muttered. He observed Xie Lan’s expression for a moment and finally shut up.

With the camera on them, Xie Lan could only sigh helplessly in his heart.

After the first batch of UPs was awarded, the host cued some of the winners to give acceptance speeches, in the reverse order of the awards. Xie Lan was truly experiencing what it felt like to have his legs go numb from standing. His expression gradually became indifferent.

When it was A-Ze’s turn, he adjusted his suit jacket, stepped forward, and cleared his throat.

“This is my first year winning Top 100, and it’s also the year I thought I was furthest from it. In the first half of the year, my idol dropped into the Music Zone. This made me happy yet lost…”

Heh. Xie Lan almost couldn’t stop himself from scoffing aloud. You call that ‘happy yet lost’.

Time was limited. A-Ze quickly reviewed his favorite works of the year, looked to the future, and concluded: “The arrival of my idol gave me pressure, but also gave me more motivation to move forward. In the future, I will carry this ‘fan-boy’ drive to make better videos!”

The camera appropriately cut to Xie Lan. He made eye contact with the millions of viewers in the livestream and then forced a completely emotionless smile.

• LOL.
• I almost spit out my food.
• Lan-zai’s ‘business fake smile’ has me rolling.
• A-Ze has reached such an extreme of ‘licking’ that I can’t even hate him anymore.
• A-Ze fans angrily taking away their disappointing UP. Our UP is just having an intermittent fit!!

The host laughed: “Next, Xie Lan, Douzi. Which of you two will give the speech?”

Xie Lan turned to look at Dou Sheng. Dou Sheng took his trophy and smiled. “I’ll do it.”

Under the gaze of the multitude, he walked to the microphone with both trophies. He looked at the countless faces below—familiar, strange, fellow UP creators, serious bosses and reporters, and millions of viewers beyond the lens.

Dou Sheng adjusted for the microphone height, bowed slightly, and smiled. “Hello everyone, I’m Douzi. I used to be PeerlessHandsomeDou. Last year, I added a little tail to my ID: _dm.”

“I gained many followers this past year. The first batch of new fans likely came from the dialect videos, followed by the reverse-persona videos, the lawn concert, the Yangtze Three Gorges, the poverty challenge, and ‘Pretending I have a boyfriend’.” Dou Sheng paused and smiled. “Oh right, and the year-end Anime Male Lead Kaleidoscope.”

“The platform’s citation said my topics are ‘carefree and unrestrained.’ That’s not entirely true. I chose the dialect theme because of a friend whose accent caused him to suffer from school bullying. I chose the reverse-persona to cheer up a brother who had fallen into a low point due to life changes. The lawn concert and Three Gorges were in hopes that little Xie Lan, who had just returned to the country, could find himself, find joy, and find the world…”

“The reason for making these videos is simple. I hope my videos bring people joy. Or, even if there is no joy, a tiny bit of comfort is enough.”

“Last year was my third year making videos. If you don’t count the two years Xie Lan went on hiatus, it was his third year too. Long before that, when I was just a viewer, I watched Xie Lan’s videos and gained joy, as well as the original intention to make videos myself. Xie Lan is the creator of the ID ‘PeerlessHandsomeDou’. I hope I can carry this ID and this original intention to make even better videos with him.”

Dou Sheng took a step back and bowed sincerely to the camera. “Thank you to my audience and friends.”

After the brief bow, he straightened up and walked back to Xie Lan. Xie Lan’s eyes shimmered as he took his trophy. Dou Sheng smiled and gave his shoulder a light squeeze.

Everything was understood without words, but that moment of their eyes meeting and smiling was captured by the camera, frozen and cherished by countless people.

…

The livestream lasted a full four hours, finally ending past 1 AM. All attendees and staff had left, leaving only two cleaners clearing the rows.

In the empty venue, Xie Lan sat in his seat. Dou Sheng stood opposite him, one leg propped on the railing behind him. He smiled. “What’s the plan for tonight?”

“Let’s find a hotel,” Xie Lan said, glancing at the two golden Little TV figures on the chair next to him with a sigh. “I didn’t even bring a bag for the trophies. We were too rushed.”

He shook his wrist as he spoke. “This trophy is actually quite heavy.”

“Wrist sore?” Dou Sheng stood straight, taking his palm and arm to gently move his wrist for him. “Don’t use force, don’t tense up. Just follow my movement completely.” He focused intently on Xie Lan’s wrist as he gave instructions.

“Douzi,” Xie Lan couldn’t help but call him.

“Hmm?”

“Nothing. I just suddenly wanted to call your name.” Xie Lan smiled, withdrew his hand, and opened his phone to look for a hotel.

Dou Sheng stood before him, blocking the light from the stage. A faint halo spread from around his silhouette. He smiled softly.

“Picked one?” he asked.

Xie Lan hummed. He was about to show him when Dou Sheng added with a smile, “Do you want to do a ‘Flash’ Top 100 award ceremony?”

Xie Lan was stunned. “What’s a flash?”

“Flash Mob.” Dou Sheng smiled and took out his phone. “There’s a flight back at 6 AM. If we go to the airport now, we can grab breakfast and board directly. Want to go?”

“Now?” Xie Lan was shocked. “Going back already? No sleep tonight?”

“Yeah, no sleep.” Dou Sheng clicked his tongue. “Let’s treat today as a cross-province trophy delivery. Once we’ve picked it up, we go back to class. Tomorrow… oh no, in a few hours, there’s a Chinese weekly test.”

Too crazy.

Xie Lan could hardly believe his ears, and even less believe that he was going to cross half of China twice within twenty-four hours to attend a glitzy Top 100 ceremony and then calmly appear in class a few hours later for an exam.

And the exam was fcking Chinese.*

It was… laughably absurd.

Dou Sheng didn’t wait for his answer, already grabbing his wrist and pulling him toward the exit. “Let’s go! Action follows the word!”

“Hey, hey!” Xie Lan was defeated. He immediately followed. “Hold your trophy steady, don’t drop it.”

“It won’t fall!” Dou Sheng said.

They ran out of the venue onto the quiet road. The brilliant, noisy metropolis was silent in the early hours. The night was pitch black, with only a few streetlights and the LEDs of distant skyscrapers providing light for the midnight wanderers. The taxi driver was very gentle; Xie Lan couldn’t understand his accent, but knew he had specially turned on the AC for them.

The car drove quietly through the streets and over the river overpasses. This was the fourth city Xie Lan had visited in China—the fourth, and still with Dou Sheng.

They had nothing on them but two nearly dead phones and two heavy Little TV figures.

On the way, Xie Lan was drowsy, waking up a few times due to red light stops. Each time, he saw Dou Sheng holding the trophy in his right hand and Xie Lan’s hand in his left, looking out at the streetscape, lost in thought.

But he radiated a very grounded, steady aura.

They arrived at the airport, checked in, and ate juicy, sweet fried buns at an outrageously priced breakfast shop before being among the first to board the plane when it opened.

Even after smelling the unique recirculated air of the cabin and sitting in the somewhat cramped seat, Xie Lan was still in a daze.

“We’re really going back?” He was still in disbelief.

Dou Sheng fastened his seatbelt for him. “Mm. We’ll come back after graduation. Next time, it’ll be for a vacation.”

“Alright.” Xie Lan agreed, nodding. He paused and rubbed his hand on his boyfriend’s leg. “Douzi.”

“Hmm?”

“You’re very happy today, aren’t you?”

“Mm.” Dou Sheng nodded, leaning back against the seat and curling his lips slightly. “I never thought that one day, I would win a Bilibili Top 100 with SilentWaves…”

“But you know what?” He leaned toward Xie Lan, whispering near his cheek. “I haven’t thought of the name ‘SilentWaves’ in a long time. It’s a very strange feeling. The version of you from the past is disappearing in time. The person beside me now, and the one who played the violin to accompany my insomnia years ago… are both you, but it’s not SilentWaves anymore.”

“Uh…” Xie Lan didn’t quite catch on. “…Can you be more specific?”

“It just feels like a beautiful dream,” Dou Sheng said, encircling the trophy with his arm and leaning his head toward Xie Lan, closing his eyes to sleep. “From the day I went to pick you up at the airport until this moment, it feels like a grand, beautiful dream.”

“I’m even a little afraid I’ll accidentally wake up.”

As soon as he finished, a soft palm gently covered his head.

“You won’t wake up.”

Dou Sheng smiled with his eyes closed. “What are you doing?”

Xie Lan said softly, “Casting a sleeping spell on you.”

The kind where the caster joins the dream.

---

Author’s Note:

Tonight, the “Eggs” (characters) aren’t home.

The keyboard-thumper ordered BBQ, beer, and crawfish, and happily turned on the TV.

Just as she took a sip, she heard a familiar rolling sound outside.

Her smile froze, and she looked at the door in disbelief.

The door slid open, and the two Eggs opened their arms to her.

Lan-Egg: Tada~! We’re back!

Dou-Egg: Flash round trip, didn’t expect that, did you?

Keyboard-thumper: …

Wow! Lan-Egg jumped excitedly onto the table: Is this prepared for us?

Keyboard-thumper: Uh… this…

Dou-Egg decisively snatched away the keyboard-thumper’s beer, shaking his head and clicking his tongue: Why are you being so polite?