Chapter 106: Side Story 6

On the day military training ended, six boys were sprawled in various states of disarray on the living room floor of the small apartment Xie Lan and Dou Sheng had recently rented.

In addition to the bodies, the floor was covered with a hotpot pot where the red oil had solidified upon cooling, a dense cluster of empty beer bottles, a few empty wine bottles, and an entire bottle of gin that had been drained to the bottom. There were also a massive amount of empty cans of soda, juice, and tonic water. An ice bucket had overturned, spilling meltwater everywhere, yet none of it woke the drunken boys.

It was a world-shaking, total-annihilation graduation drinking session for military training.

Slightly past eleven at night, Dou Sheng woke up with a start. He instinctively reached toward his left arm—it felt fuzzy. It was Xie Lan’s head, pillowed on his arm.

Xie Lan was awakened by the touch. The two of them stared at each other, their vision blurry for a full five minutes, before Xie Lan spoke first: “You’re really wasted.”

His own voice was very low and soft, but he articulated every word clearly. He didn’t sound drunk at all, which was actually quite abnormal.

Dou Sheng was truly in a daze. After a long while, he said in a drifting voice, “What about you?”

Xie Lan thought for a whole minute. “I don’t think I drank.”

Dou Sheng nodded. “That’s good. Give me a hand, I need to get up.”

“Where are you going?”

“Today is… hiss…” Dou Sheng clutched his head. “My regular program, the once-a-month ‘let-loose’ gaming… livestream… I have to flake… no, I mean, I can’t flake…”

Xie Lan gave a deep sigh. “Don’t stream. Sleep. Is the floor uncomfortable?”

Dou Sheng processed this for a long time, looking at the floor. “It’s comfortable enough, but I can’t flake.”

Xie Lan firmly pushed him back down to the ground. “Stop talking nonsense. Keep sleeping.”

The moment Dou Sheng’s head hit the floor, his eyelids fluttered uncontrollably. Within a second, he was out cold.

Xie Lan sighed, grabbed a nearby water glass, took a few gulps, and went back to sleep using Dou Sheng’s arm as a pillow. The water might have had some dust in it; it felt a bit scratchy in his throat. Consequently, he didn’t fall asleep immediately. He just closed his eyes and listened to Dou Sheng mumbling like a broken record in his sleep: “Can’t flake… can’t flake… can’t flake…”

The mumbling dreams eventually stopped, but by the time Xie Lan opened his eyes again with a splitting headache, it was nearly midnight. There was still a voice in his head, seemingly from some persistent deity, reminding him: You can’t flake, you can’t flake, you can’t flake…

---

Midnight.

The viewers who tuned in punctually at the end of every month to Dou Sheng’s livestream room were bitterly joking and comforting each other, prepared to give up and leave. Suddenly, the “Host is browsing Bilibili” notice on the black screen flickered, and the page auto-refreshed.

The next second, the host was online.

On the screen was a completely unfamiliar environment—a light walnut wooden bed, a bare mattress and pillow, and an oldish wardrobe to the side. It was a completely different style from the UP’s former room.

And the UP himself was… completely different… yet not exactly a stranger.

Xie Lan was wearing a white T-shirt, the collar suspiciously damp and clinging to his skin. His black hair was messy, and his usually fair skin was flushed red. Only his dark eyes remained as quiet and deep as ever.

Ignoring the flood of greetings in the chat, he calmly opened Steam and logged into that hardcore space-sim construction game that Dou Sheng had been obsessed with before T-University military training.

The nearly empty livestream room instantly regained its popularity. Bullet comments rolled by in waves.

• Good evening, Lan-zai!
• Military training is over?
• Surprise! I thought it wasn’t happening!
• Where’s Douzi?
• Did they confiscate your phones?
• Is this the new house? Renting in freshman year?
• I know it’s for the stream, but hehehe…
• Same hehehe, how many bedrooms?

Xie Lan had a dual curved-monitor setup in front of him. During military training, He Xiu and Ye Si had handled the rental deposit and the computer installation for them. They lived two floors below and didn’t mind the trouble.

On the curved screen directly in front of him, the game was running. On the screen to the right was the livestream dashboard. He glanced at his own face on the stream and muttered to himself, “Need a small window.”

• Are you streaming for Douzi today?
• Is this a new bit you two are doing? Haha.
• Is Douzi not coming to keep you company?
• Lan-zai, let me teach you. Put the game on the main screen and yourself in the bottom right corner.

The rolling small text was invisible to someone as intoxicated as he was. After a series of actions, Xie Lan let out a breath. “There.”

• Huh?
• This is ‘there’??
• What the goddamn ‘there’ is this?
• Is Lan-zai serious? Take a look at the stream yourself.
• Did he not open the dashboard?
• How could he not have opened it?

On the stream, the game being loaded was placed in the small window in the bottom right, while the main view remained Xie Lan himself.

Under the massive close-up, Xie Lan openly rubbed his cheeks and exhaled. “Hello everyone, I am Douzi, Peerless Handsome Dou dash Indifferent. I absolutely will not flake. I’ve come to bravely fulfill our appointment, fulfill…” He caught himself for a second. “…fulfill our once-a-month date.”

• ???????
• ???????
• Who are you? Say that again, louder!
• Look at the screen and say it again!
• Bravely fulfilling the appointment??
• Taking your father’s place in the army?
• Taking your HUSBAND’s place, thank you.

The chat exploded. Mass amounts of question marks covered the screen. However, Xie Lan was no longer looking at the side screen; he was focused on the game’s start page. The beautiful planet rotated in the vast universe. His own star, No. XL0229, was quiet and brilliant, shining in the nebula.

Xie Lan coughed. “Okay, last time… we seemed to have achieved some energy supply and a smooth power grid. Today we will…” He shook his head. A faint light gathered in his dazed dark eyes only to disperse quickly. He muttered in a low voice: “Today we will continue building our planet.”

• Holy crap, is he drunk?
• He is definitely wasted, right?
• Is this a bit? ‘I play as my boyfriend’ or something?
• Look at him, does he look like he even realized he said ‘I am Douzi’?
• Crap crap crap, where is Douzi?
• Gentlemen, I am starting to get excited!!

Xie Lan couldn’t read a single word of the small text on the screen. His head was muddled; there was only the voice of a deity repeatedly cuing him—Can’t flake, can’t flake, can’t flake…

“I know, shut up,” Xie Lan said with a grumpy face.

• ??
• Who is he talking to?
• Telling us to shut up?
• What did we even say?
• Holy crap, he just admitted he’s drunk!

Xie Lan spent a long time looking lost in this game interface that “he” should have been familiar with. He hit the wrong key, and the two windows finally swapped—the game became the main screen, and he became the small window.

Under the gaze of the crowd, he opened the “Core Energy Storage” and fell into deep thought staring at the amount of energy Douzi had meticulously saved up. While thinking, his other hand lightly tapped the desk—Dou Sheng’s habitual thinking gesture.

The “soul possession” was remarkably realistic.

After a moment, Xie Lan hesitantly opened the “Facilities Construction” tab, selected “Core Energy Projects,” and dazed out again looking at the long list of facilities that required core energy to purchase.

• HOLY CRAP BE CAREFUL!!!
• Core energy in this game requires insane grinding!
• That is Douzi’s entire fortune!
• I’m getting heart palpitations!!
• Lan-zai, wake up! You aren’t Douzi! Don’t squander it!

That last comment came from a “Governor” (VIP) named “Eat Sleep Hit the Dou-zi,” floating across the screen with a magnificent special effect. Following her lead, the chat began to spam in unison.

• You aren’t Douzi!! Wake up!!
• You aren’t Douzi!! Wake up!!

“Hit the Dou-zi” herself spammed as well. Relying on her flashy effects, she finally broke into Xie Lan’s peripheral vision.

Xie Lan’s mouse hovered over the purchase button for: [Symphonic Musical Fountain – 200 Units (Core Energy) – 48KW Power]. He leaned close to the screen to try and read the chat.

“I’m not Douzi?” he asked, puzzled. “If I’m not Douzi, then who am I?”

• You are Xie Lan!!
• You are Xie Lan, baby!
• Don’t you recognize your own name? Lan Xie?
• AAAAAH Mommy needs you to wake up!

Faced with the overwhelming chat, Xie Lan felt extremely dizzy. He lowered his head and tapped his temple with his finger, then looked up again. “Yeah, I’m Xie Lan. Do you really need to tell me that?”

• Ah, he’s back to his senses.
• Thank god, thank god.
• He’s okay, he still has some consciousness.
• Wasted but easy-to-wake-up mode.

Before the chat could finish celebrating, they heard the crisp click of a mouse. The game page popped up, and a mechanical AI female voice announced: “Congratulations! You have got a music fountain!”

• Holy crap my heart is breaking.
• HOLY CRAP!!
• 200 units!
• AHHH!!!
• You aren’t Douzi, baby!!

Xie Lan caught a glimpse of the chat. “I’m not Douzi? Then who am I?”

• ……..
• ?????
• Good question…
• I don’t even know how to answer…

Xie Lan gave a light drunken hiccup, let out a long breath, and muttered, “The screen is so blurry…”

• It’s your eyes that are blurry, baby.
• You’ve had too much, just shut down and go to sleep…
• My god, why is he using his sleeve to wipe the glass of water next to him?
• He probably thinks it’s the screen…
• …

Xie Lan felt deathly dizzy. He slumped in his chair, losing all posture as he continued shopping. He scrolled down, skipping the [Planetary Energy Upgrader], [Wind Power Tower], and [Nuclear Reactor] that the chat was begging him to buy. Finally, he stopped at the [Planetary Center Ferris Wheel].

This Ferris wheel cost 150 units. With a crisp click, Xie Lan bought it. “Bought. Xie Lan will definitely like this.”

• …
• Can’t argue with that.
• I feel… you’re right.
• Douzi is so tragic but I’m laughing so hard.
• Douzi! Come back! Your house is gone!
• 《That time I soul-possessed my boyfriend and bought things for myself》

Xie Lan bought the symphonic fountain, bought the universe-center Ferris wheel, and then cut off the power supply to several heavy industrial production lines to redirect electricity to the newly built facilities. After doing all this, he caught the chat again.

The screen was full of effects from the big spenders—the Captains, Governors, and Viceroys. They were collectively spamming the same sentence: “You’re drunk! You aren’t Douzi! Stop buying!”

Xie Lan frowned. His tone deepened into a mix of displeasure and nonchalance, his voice carrying the magnetic rasp of a youth. “Is something wrong with you all today?”

• Damn, his impression of Douzi is actually pretty good.
• As expected of fake (real) boyfriends who share a boat (bed) and a pillow!
• The tone is there!!
• The gaze is there!!
• The speech is there!!

“Hit the Dou-zi” floated by with an effect: “Then how do you prove you’re Douzi?”

This time, Xie Lan stared at the screen in silence for a long time. His head drooped as he thought, looking as if his skull was too heavy. A moment later, he let go of the mouse and propped his head up with his elbows on the desk.

“Hit the Dou-zi”: “No evidence, right? Go to sleep, Lan-zai, be good~”

Yet the moment that comment appeared, Xie Lan whispered, “I will always love Xie Lan?”

“Is that enough proof? Everyone who knows me on Bilibili knows my motto.”

• …
• !!!
• 《The Motto》
• Official fanservice!!
• I caught the sugar!!
• What is this called? This is called ‘romantic confidence’!!
• Lan-zai is loved with such conviction!
• Wuwuwu!!

Xie Lan collapsed back against the chair cushion with a thud. He closed his eyes to steady himself, trying to stop the other little planet in his head from rotating and revolving.

After a moment, he opened his eyes. For an instant, his pure, gentle dark eyes looked normal, but that lasted only a second before returning to that slightly impatient, “cool” look—just like the true owner of the livestream room.

He spent a massive amount of effort changing the stream title to “I will always love Xie Lan.” Those seven characters were edited and mistyped countless times, taking a full fifteen minutes. When it was finally right, he let out a sigh of relief and muttered, “Continue… building our Universe Music Star.”

• …Continue… really?
• He-he-he opened the mall again.
• Holy crap, he wants to buy a useless park.
• Douzi’s high-tech empire is being razed to the ground!
• Holy crap, is he buying a violin sculpture??

Xie Lan glanced at the chat and tapped the desk impatiently. “Can I get some cheers? If you want to watch, watch. If not, get out. Why are you all talking nonsense in my stream?”

• This tone…
• Classic Douzi.
• I believe it now. This IS Douzi.
• Yeah, followed him for three years, he definitely looks like this.
• Hurry up everyone, give him some cheers!
• Hooray!
• Hooray! Hooray!

The stream’s popularity skyrocketed. While Xie Lan, with blurry eyes and his face nearly pressed against the screen, built his “Music Star,” the heat index broke six million. An admin dropped in twice. The second time, they asked the audience: “Should I force a shutdown for Douzi?”

The chat was in an uproar. The serious gamers agreed frantically, while the spectators resisted to the death.

“Hit the Dou-zi” spoke with an effect: “Ban him… the child is incoherent, I’m afraid he’ll say something he shouldn’t…”

• Holy crap, that makes sense!
• But what should we do? I still want to watch!
• He hasn’t violated any rules, why should the admin force a shutdown?
• Right, it makes no sense!
• Only a casual passerby would say that. Old fans are terrified right now, okay?

As the chat argued, the clock silently ticked to 01:30. Xie Lan grew increasingly groggy. His brain felt rusted over, unable to process any questions, and his senses dulled. He vaguely felt large ink stains rolling across the right screen. He tried wiping it with a tissue several times, but it didn’t work, so he gave up and continued mechanically building his Music Star.

The core energy rapidly plummeted from four digits to two. He could only buy [Urban Electric Car Charging Stations] and [Dark Zone Mining Area] quotas from the shop. On the map, Dou Sheng had only cultivated less than one-fifth of the planet. He had a good energy reserve, and before military training camp closed, he told the audience he’d cultivate another fifth upon returning. Now, that was impossible.

Useless facilities of all sizes were interspersed within the original heavy industrial city-state, disrupting the carefully calculated power grid, and the energy reserve was exhausted.

Xie Lan hesitated. “Audience masters, should I spend some money to unlock a part of the Dark Zone?”

After asking, he tried to lean in to see the chat, but the fast-moving small text was still unreadable. He vaguely felt that no one was answering his question. After a long while, Xie Lan sighed. “Forget it, let’s save a bit of money. I’ll take you around the planet. Remember our current progress, then I’ll end the stream and… go find Xie Lan.”

• …Okay.
• Where is “Xie Lan”?
• Where is he? Is he okay?
• I’m so worried for when “Xie Lan” wakes up and sees this mess.
• Same. He spent so long calculating the power grid.
• Such a beautiful industrial city, now the circuit system is ruined.
• Come to think of it, why did Douzi build such a massive industrial base in the first place?
• To supply power and resources to another section.
• What’s the other section?
• Don’t know. A research colony, I guess.

Xie Lan held the mouse in one hand and covered half his face with the other, his eyes half-open. The glow from the screen illuminated his face. Despite the drunken disarray, he still looked gentle and refined.

He sighed softly: “Quickly, after showing the progress once, I’m going to find Xie Lan… I didn’t see him much during military training, I really miss him…”

The mouse wheel began to zoom out. The massive industrial base rapidly receded, the perspective adjusting to a god-like bird’s-eye view. The tall buildings and facilities turned into tiny markers. In the center of the screen sat only the star XL0229 in the vastness of space.

He continued to scroll, rotating the now seemingly insignificant planet. Vast, uncultivated Dark Zones flashed across the screen as the brilliant city lights receded.

Yet a moment later, another bright patch appeared on the globe.

• What’s this?
• Is this Douzi’s city?
• No way, this area is clearly smaller than the last one.
• Did Douzi secretly push the progress? I’ve never seen this.
• Look at the coordinates; this distance matches Douzi’s previous underground transport pipes.
• This must be the research base.
• The peak of the industrial colony. The previous one only existed to provide energy and resources for THIS one.

Xie Lan lazily zoomed in until the hidden colony was spread across his view. It was a scene of prosperity—even without residents moving about, it was full of silent liveliness.

He was dazed for a moment, thinking that the things he just bought had moved from the industrial city to here. Not only those, but there were buildings resembling the British Museum, a donut shop on a street corner, automatic ice cream machines everywhere, band facilities in every park corner, a facility named [Violin Pavilion], a music restaurant, and many robotic cats.

But perhaps because Xie Lan had disrupted the industrial city’s power grid, several buildings here were dark. For instance, the identical symphonic fountain that had just lit up on the other side.

In the center of this developing area stood a landmark. The custom text on the landmark read: [Planet XL0229 – Heart of the Planet].

• HOLY CRAP!!!
• Douzi did this secretly!
• Damn it, what are you doing in the middle of the night?
• Are you proud of making me cry?
• Everything Lan-zai just bought is already here.
• “Xie Lan will definitely like this”
• 5555 I’m crying.

Xie Lan faced the screen, his expression shifting from surprise to confusion, part-understanding, and then struggling. It changed several times.

Until the sound of messy footsteps approached. The door was pushed open, and Douzi’s yawning voice sounded.

“Xie Lan? I was wondering where you went. What are you doing with the computer?”

• THE REAL OWNER IS BACK!!!
• Lan-zai! Return to your soul immediately!!
• AAAAAH Douzi long time no see!
• Show your face so Mommy can see you!
• Look at what your (fake) boyfriend has done!
• Look at what you secretly did yourself 5555.

Xie Lan let go of the mouse, swiveled the chair, and started dazing at Dou Sheng. Or rather, he looked confused.

Dou Sheng’s hair and clothes were a mess. After waking up from a few hours of drunken sleep, he was a bit clearer. He glanced at the camera, stepped back, pulled off his T-shirt, and muttered, “I’m going to take a shower and then tidy up. Need to find some clothes to cover those four in the living room.”

Xie Lan looked blank.

Dou Sheng paused on his way to the bathroom. “Are you wasted too?”

Xie Lan pondered for a long time before giving a calm answer: “I don’t think I drank.”

“Oh, okay.” Douzi turned back to continue walking and gave a yawn. “I ended up flaking on the audience today after all. Sigh, I’ll make it up tomorrow. Time for sleep.”

He shuffled into the bathroom in his slippers. The door slammed shut, and soon the sound of running water filled the air.

Xie Lan stared blankly for a while before turning back to the screen. In the camera, he looked at the dashboard, appearing very perplexed. A moment later, he tapped his head and shook it, muttering, “Did I drink or not?”

• No.
• No.
• You are very sober.
• You are Douzi, believe in yourself.
• The one in the bathroom is fake, go hit him.
• You are the real Douzi, the one in the bathroom is the real Xie Lan.
• Go for it Lan-zai! This is your only chance to… top!
• The person above, show some respect. On what basis do you assume our Lan-zai is a… bottom?
• I don’t get it, aren’t they fake? Can you guys stop saying these things?
• Exactly, everyone knows it’s fake!
• LOL, be human, leave Lan-zai alone.

Xie Lan’s eyes focused and then drifted. After struggling for a while, he gave up. He lowered his eyelids and mumbled, “He’s calling me to go to sleep. Xie Lan is a bit clingy.”

• ????
• What what?
• Family, I’m already confused. I don’t know who is roasting whom.
• Same confusion, but that doesn’t stop me from eating sugar!!
• Sugar +1!

Xie Lan gave a yawn. “Sleepy. Bedtime.”

He quit the game with one click, took a breath, and composed himself. “Audience masters, the once-a-month Douzi ‘let-loose’ gaming stream ends here. Thank you all for watching. We’ll see you at the same time next month. New viewers please click follow, or remember the stream name—uh, I will always love Xie Lan! Follow the host as well, Peerless Handsome Dou, never flaking!”

Snap.

The screen went black.

The water in the bathroom stopped. Dou Sheng called out: “Xie Lan? Who were you talking to?”

Xie Lan let out a breath and lay on the bed. He rolled over and mumbled, “Don’t know…”

He closed his eyes. When he opened them again, the water was still rushing in the bathroom. It felt as if only a few seconds had passed. But he felt as if, in those few seconds, he had a dream—a dream where he built a tiny planet for Douzi in the vast universe.

---

Author’s Note:

Keyboard-thumper shakes Lan-Egg vigorously: Say it again, who are you!

Lan-Egg: I’m Dou-Egg!

Keyboard-thumper shakes harder: You are Lan-Egg!

Lan-Egg nods: Right, I’m Dou~~~ooooooo-Egg! Stop! Stop shaking me!

Keyboard-thumper hits the brakes and cups it in both hands.

Lan-Egg slowly, slowly collapses in her palm.

It mumbles: I’m so dizzy… the yolk and the white are swirling into a vortex inside the shell…

Keyboard-thumper’s angry sigh: If you drink human alcohol again, I’ll shake your yolk into pieces!!

Lan-Egg sighs, rolls over in place, and mumbles: Tomorrow I’m going to tell Lan-Egg that you’re mean.

Keyboard-thumper: …