Chapter 7: Starting to Live Together

“Do you ever think about the consequences before you speak?” Fu Rangyi stood by the sink, arms crossed, staring gloomily at Zhu Zhixi, who was washing his face.

After splashing his face with cold water a few times, Zhu Zhixi sobered up quite a bit. He grabbed his wet bangs, slicked them back, revealing a complete face dotted with water, and looked at his very troublesome contract husband.

“Can you think of a better solution?”

This time, Fu Rangyi fell silent, but he still stared straight at his face.

Zhu Zhixi had had too much to drink. His cheeks were flushed, and he was a bit dazed. He blinked a few times. Water got into his eyes, which was very uncomfortable, so he lowered his head and rubbed them with his hands. Before he could rub more than a few times, a tissue appeared before his eyes.

“Thanks.”

He took it, wiped his face, and opened his mouth to say something. But he didn’t speak immediately. Instead, he suddenly moved closer. The distance was closed, almost pressing them together. Fu Rangyi could even smell the faint fragrance on him. Clearly, it wasn’t pheromones, nor did it seem like perfume. It was most likely the scent of his laundry detergent or shower gel. A fruity smell.

This was a public restroom, after all. Zhu Zhixi stood on his tiptoes, swaying, and leaned into his ear, plotting in a voice only the two of them could hear.

“Actually, even if I hadn’t brought up moving in with you, we couldn’t have avoided it. What newlywed couple doesn’t live together? It’s impossible. Me moving in with you is already the best option. If you really hate the idea of me moving in that much, then… how about we go with your dad’s plan?”

To say he had no selfish motives would, of course, be impossible. Being able to live together meant he had a greater possibility of physical contact with Fu Rangyi, to pause this damn countdown. If it was purely for this purpose, living with the elders would actually be better. After all, with them around, Fu Rangyi would have no reason to refuse his contact; he’d have to keep up the act.

But at the dinner table, seeing his unwilling expression, Zhu Zhixi had felt a vague emotion. He wanted to live longer, but he didn’t want to force it, to make Fu Rangyi uncomfortable and ill at ease. That’s why he had stepped up.

The mirror reflected their profiles, a quiet pair. A stall door suddenly opened, and a strange Alpha walked out. He came to the sink, washing his hands while staring at the two of them in the mirror, especially Zhu Zhixi.

Fu Rangyi gave him a cold glance. The man tactfully left.

Seeing him stay silent, his gaze still following the departing stranger, Zhu Zhixi suddenly reached out, cupped his face with both hands, and turned him to face him. “If you can’t bring yourself to say it, should I?” He was definitely drunk. His hands were hot, and his speech was sticky, the ends of his words drawn out long. This reminded him of how Zhu Zhixi was on their blind date.

“No need.” Fu Rangyi also placed his hands on his shoulders, but it wasn’t an intimate touch. He firmly pressed him down until Zhu Zhixi’s heels touched the floor.

“Let’s just do that.”

“Just think of it as having another roommate,” he added.

“Okay, roommate… I’ll pay rent.”

“I don’t need your little bit of money.”

“Professor Fu, so generous.”

Having solved the big problem, Zhu Zhixi planned to slip away, but unexpectedly, he was called to a halt after just a few steps. He was already walking unsteadily, and such an abrupt stop nearly made him fall.

“Wait for me.”

“Huh? Oh.” Zhu Zhixi froze like a roly-poly toy.

Fu Rangyi slowly dried his hands, walked out, and stood shoulder to shoulder with him, saying casually, “What newlywed couple doesn’t walk together?”

You’re deliberately using my own words to disgust me, aren’t you.

Forget it, the great Mr. Zhu is magnanimous and won’t stoop to your level.

Their two sets of footsteps were completely out of sync. One sober, one chaotic, falling side by side on the carpet, treading on overlapping shadows, step by step forward, bit by bit becoming synchronized. As they walked, his bad habit started acting up again.

Closer and closer, tighter and tighter. In the not-so-spacious corridor, Zhu Zhixi squeezed against Fu Rangyi as he moved forward.

“You stepped on me.”

“Huh?” Zhu Zhixi, holding a moving box, looked up innocently and gave Fu Rangyi, who was also holding a box, an awkward smile. “Sorry, the box is too big and blocked my view, I couldn’t see the ground…”

“You stepped on me plenty of times when you could see,” Fu Rangyi said, stopping at his own door and placing the large box on the ground.

“When? I don’t remember. Don’t wrongly accuse me.”

With a beep, the smart lock disengaged, and Fu Rangyi pushed the door open. “Last time at the hotel dinner, in the short few dozen meters from the restroom back to the private room, you stepped on me twice. I suggest you get your cerebellum checked.”

What a grudge-holder! It’s been three days.

Yes, it had been three days, and they were finally meeting again. Thanks to the countdown, Zhu Zhixi had spent every second apart in fear and panic. He used to not understand how couples in the honeymoon phase could be so clingy, so inseparable. Now he empathized. He wished he could turn into a little figurine and hang on Fu Rangyi, following him to class, to the gym, and home to sleep. That way, he’d never die!

“I was drunk that time,” Zhu Zhixi muttered under his breath, also putting down his box. Besides, who was I drinking for? Ungrateful.

“Just these two boxes?”

“Yeah, they brought my clothes and stuff yesterday.” After speaking, Zhu Zhixi looked up and glanced inside.

This was what Fu Rangyi’s father called a “small apartment”? A spacious living room, 270-degree floor-to-ceiling windows—definitely the configuration of a large flat. A large area of black, white, and gray with cool-toned color blocks, stainless steel and leather furniture everywhere, intentionally exposed beams—a very typical and lifeless industrial Bauhaus decor, so tidy there was almost no sign of life.

The room seemed to be scented with incense, a faint hint of sandalwood. This was a far cry from the “cozy” he had blurted out two days ago. It was a B&B style he wouldn’t even choose if he saw the pictures on Airbnb. Such a large living room didn’t even have a rug.

“Your place is really clean,” Zhu Zhixi complimented politely.

“Mm,” Fu Rangyi accepted it without ceremony. “I hope it stays just as clean after you move in.”

Zhu Zhixi gave a fake smile. “Okay, roommate.”

He was led by Fu Rangyi to the guest room opposite the study. It was clear no one had ever lived here; the bedsheets weren’t even on. Fu Rangyi opened the closet, took out a neatly folded gray four-piece set, and placed it on the bed.

“Do you know how to make it?” he asked, standing by the bed, looking over with a skeptical eye.

Zhu Zhixi suspected this was how he usually looked at his students. I can pitch a 100-plus-pound extra-large camping tent in a flash, okay?

He deliberately asked, “If I say I don’t, will you help me?”

“If you don’t know, then learn.” The great professor coolly left the guest room. “Make good use of search engines, young master.”

I knew it.

“Okay, great young master.”

Good thing this is just a fake marriage. Zhu Zhixi began to feel sorry for Fu Rangyi’s future real marriage partner. But not long after, he felt it was more likely that Fu Rangyi would end up alone, turning into a harsh little old man, sitting in his office, wearing reading glasses, nitpicking his students’ theses. By then, no student would be putting a filter on him because of his looks.

By the time he had smoothed out the bedsheet for the third time, getting rid of the small wrinkles, there was a knock on the door.

Fu Rangyi leaned against the doorframe, holding an A4 sheet of paper. He had been standing there watching for a minute because the way Zhu Zhixi was making the bed reminded him of a pet video he had recently scrolled past. In the video, a dwarf rabbit was lying on a small blue blanket, repeatedly pushing forward with its front paws, diligently repeating the smoothing motion. Someone in the comments explained that this stemmed from a rabbit’s natural instinct—the habit of filling in the dirt it had dug up. With no dirt, it would smooth a cloth instead.

Strange rabbit. Strange short video recommendation algorithm.

“What? Are you checking my homework?” Zhu Zhixi turned to look at him. “Are you addicted to being a professor?”

Only then did Fu Rangyi snap back to reality. “Finished organizing?”

“Yeah. What’s up?”

Fu Rangyi waved the paper in his hand. “Since we are now living together due to force majeure, it’s necessary to list some rules in advance to avoid unnecessary friction.”

Zhu Zhixi suddenly had the illusion of being 20 again, studying abroad in a homestay. He changed into home clothes, shuffled in his slippers, and slowly walked to the living room, to the long walnut dining table.

They sat at opposite ends, separated by the entire table.

“First, maintain indoor cleanliness, especially in common areas like the living room and kitchen. You are not allowed to move the furnishings in the room without permission. You may not enter the study or the master bedroom without permission.”

The first rule is already so long…

Zhu Zhixi raised his hand. “This kind of requirement should be written for both parties to be fair. You can’t just enter the guest room either.”

“Don’t worry, I wouldn’t go in even if you invited me.”

Zhu Zhixi didn’t care. He pointed at the paper. “Write it down, Professor Fu.”

Fu Rangyi had no choice but to comply.

“Second, respect each other’s daily routines. No loud noises in common areas after 10 PM. Strictly forbidden to bring outsiders home without permission…” Reading this, Zhu Zhixi looked up again. “What if it’s you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Didn’t we say when we discussed the contract that although we have a marital relationship, both parties have the freedom to make friends, and if we meet someone we like, we can date them?” Zhu Zhixi propped his face with both hands. “Professor Fu, this is your apartment. If one day you suddenly have someone you like and insist on bringing them back for the night, wouldn’t I be in a very awkward position?”

“Rest assured, I am not that shameless. All rules are mutually binding. And…” He looked at Zhu Zhixi, his tone serious. “I have no possessiveness over your private life. That is your freedom. But since we are publicly married, as your nominal husband, if, in the future, you have a partner, please hide it well. Don’t let others find out. I don’t want to suddenly be pitied by those around me one day. Can you do that?”

“Of course, I promise.” Zhu Zhixi cupped his cheeks with both hands. “If you have someone you truly like in the future, I will definitely help you cover for it. I’m sure you’ve noticed these past few days that my acting is top-notch.” After speaking, he even winked his left eye at Fu Rangyi.

But Fu Rangyi was not very happy. “Is that so? I think it’s terrible.”

Now that he had moved in, Zhu Zhixi also started to boldly speak his mind. “Your opinion is not important. You’re a professor, not a judge for the Golden Lion or Silver Bear.”

A strange countdown, a sudden marriage, a forced cohabitation… from the day he returned to the country, his life seemed to have been thrown into a terrible, uncontrollable plot. But he was a natural optimist, a seed with extremely vigorous vitality. He could survive well and sprout wherever he was thrown.

Even moving into an icehouse, Zhu Zhixi was still full of enthusiasm for life. He was like a squirrel hoarding food for the winter, bustling about, bringing back many things every day. His collection of art pieces, small animal dolls, a penguin pillow, a bright yellow mushroom lamp, a thick red apple-shaped cushion, a fluffy oversized beige blanket, a mini-tent hung with golden star lights, a Christmas tree he had decorated quite exquisitely… in just two days, this bedroom was completely transformed.

When Fu Rangyi passed by, he glanced in, his footsteps paused, and he almost thought he had accidentally entered another world. For some strange reason, Zhu Zhixi, who was sitting on the carpet reading a book, actually noticed him stopping to look. He looked up, a penguin-patterned face mask on his face, and craned his neck to interview him loudly.

“Isn’t it cute—”

Fu Rangyi didn’t know what to say and left directly.

Perhaps because he had just seen Zhu Zhixi’s room, his retinas overstimulated by the high-saturation colors, when he returned to the master bedroom, he actually felt a bit uncomfortable, even a little cold. So the floor heating was turned up several more degrees, making it so hot that Zhu Zhixi wanted to sleep in short-sleeved pajamas.

Fu Rangyi had been in boarding school since middle school. Due to a prolonged differentiation period and long-term unstable pheromones, he had been living in a single room since he was 15. Now, with someone suddenly in the house, he was extremely unaccustomed to it. On the first night Zhu Zhixi moved in, he even had insomnia until three in the morning.

He had an early class the next day. To force himself to sleep, he went to the kitchen and opened the fridge to pour a glass of red wine. Who knew that there were five or six bars of chocolate on the side of the fridge, in all sorts of colorful packaging.

He picked up an opened bar. The packaging said [Pistachio Hazelnut Crispy Rice Milk Chocolate]. A lethal sugar content. One piece would undo two days of workouts.

Looking closely, there was also a narrow, colorful sticky note on the package, almost blending in with the wrapper.

[Fu Rangyi, eat it if you want. Zhu Zhixi is very generous.]

He had even deliberately written his full name. Fu Rangyi was a bit speechless. He put the chocolate back, took out the wine bottle, closed the door, and pulled open the cup cabinet to get a glass, only to freeze for a few seconds.

In the neat matrix of transparent glass cups, there were unexpectedly a few very conspicuous colorful little cups—hand-pinched ceramic cat and dog cups, a coffee cup so realistic you’d think it was a real apple at first glance, hand-painted glass cups with elephants, penguins, and flamingos…

He felt as if he hadn’t become a married man, but had skipped that step and adopted a child. A “child” who talked a lot and had an extremely strong presence.

“Fu Rangyi, can I sit on the living room sofa?”

“I bought floor socks, do you want a pair? They have a reindeer pattern, super comfortable.”

“Ah, Fu Rangyi, I forgot to buy shower gel. Can I borrow yours for now?”

“Hey, I ordered pizza. Want to try some?”

“Professor Fu, can I use the printer in the study?”

…

Therefore, after being called by his name for the umpteenth time, Fu Rangyi finally took off his glasses, walked out of the study, and said to his overly enthusiastic roommate, “Actually, we don’t need to have so much communication.”

“Ah, this time is different.”

It was indeed different. This time, it was his turn to wave two A4 sheets of paper around. “There’s something very important we must discuss. Come here quickly.” He directly grabbed Fu Rangyi, pulling at a small piece of his pajama sleeve, dragged him to the dining table, and then sat down next to him.

“We’ve almost blown our cover several times before. I reviewed it, and the root cause is that we’re too unfamiliar with each other.” Zhu Zhixi handed him one of the papers, like a salesperson desperate to meet a quota. “So, I think we really need to quickly understand each other’s various information, although this method is a bit like cheating.”

He glanced at it. The first line, centered, read—Fu Rangyi Personal Information Questionnaire (For Fake Marriage Use Only).

What a terrible title.

His mouth opened with the taste of an occupational hazard. “Can’t you come up with a better title?”

Zhu Zhixi pondered for a moment and nodded cheerfully. “Sure.”

Immediately, he took out a pink acrylic marker from his pocket, drew a small pink heart before the three characters of [Fu Rangyi] in the title, then drew a few small flowers, and even switched to a gold one to add a few stars. Finally, he tilted his head, winked at Fu Rangyi, as if afraid he wasn’t annoying him enough.

“Is it pretty enough now? Great professor.”

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Author’s Note:

Xiao Zhu: I know the great professor despises my title, so I won’t change it. I’ll just draw flowers on it to piss you off.

Yesterday, I saw a reader comment that from Da Zhu’s perspective, Xiao Zhu is like a 99% new, mother-born, integrated troublemaker. That’s really so accurate, hahaha. Professor Fu and Da Zhu might have a deep resonance on this point (this is the brotherly bond between a brother-in-law and his wife’s brother’s husband (what a strange description)).