Chapter 86: Dislocated Memories

Jingming never expected that setting up a simple airport pickup would turn into such an entertaining spectacle.

He sat with his legs crossed, neck craned to watch Su Hui at the booth diagonally across from them, then glanced at Ning Yixiao, who sat opposite him with a chilling, dead-set expression. Jingming could barely contain his laughter.

“Hey, I’m honestly so curious,” Jingming said, ever the one to stir the pot. “Back in school, just how many people were in love with Su Hui?”

Ning Yixiao’s expression was icy; he looked like he had absolutely no desire to engage, picking up his glass to take a sip of water.

Bella couldn’t help but tease, “This lemonade is sourer than it looks.”

Chloe, however, offered a rational analysis. “I feel like someone like Eddy—both boys and girls would like him. He must have had a lot of pursuers.”

Jingming’s mouth stretched nearly to his ears. Sitting in the best viewing spot, he stared at the two people talking in the distance and provided a real-time broadcast to Ning Yixiao, who refused to look or listen.

“Oh, oh, that guy is here.” Jingming sized up Feng Cheng, noticing how fidgety he was in front of Su Hui, even respectfully taking off his hat. “He’s actually quite delicate-looking.”

Ning Yixiao couldn’t be bothered to respond, nor did he turn to look.

“Shaw is still very generous,” Bella laughed. “If it were me, I definitely wouldn’t let them meet.”

Ning Yixiao acted indifferent. “As long as Su Hui is willing, that’s all that matters.”

Seeing Feng Cheng again after all these years, Su Hui felt a sense of displacement, as if time had folded.

“Long time no see. You’ve grown taller.” A gentle smile appeared on his face.

Feng Cheng felt a bit embarrassed; in front of Su Hui, he still stuttered slightly. “It’s… it’s been six years, I’ve grown a bit, I suppose.”

“What would you like to drink?” Su Hui called over a waiter and casually ordered some drinks.

Feng Cheng was incredibly uneasy, his hands not knowing where to rest until he finally pressed them onto his knees, avoiding eye contact with Su Hui.

“Actually, the main reason I wanted to see you today was to apologize in person. It feels more formal this way.”

Su Hui watched him. His heart was mostly calm, though memories of the timid, cowardly Feng Cheng from the past kept flickering in his mind.

Feng Cheng lowered his eyes, his lashes fluttering. “Su Hui, the disaster that befell your family was largely caused by my father. He… he did many wrong things, things even I cannot accept. You don’t have to forgive him, but I’ve always felt deeply guilty, so I still wanted to say I’m sorry.”

He added hastily, “I know, saying this now is meaningless and doesn’t make up for anything… but I am truly sorry.”

Feng Cheng lifted his eyes, facing those eyes that once haunted his dreams for the first time. He felt that Su Hui had changed a lot, yet hadn’t changed at all, and he suddenly felt a wave of sadness.

In the next second, Su Hui smiled. “These things have nothing to do with you. You shouldn’t have to bear the weight of what your father did, and you don’t need to feel guilty.”

Su Hui would never forget what Feng Zhiguo did—especially the harm he caused Ning Yixiao and his mother. Even if Feng Zhiguo were to return from the dead and kneel before him in tears, Su Hui wouldn’t be able to accept it. But he knew clearly: Feng Zhiguo was Feng Zhiguo, and Feng Cheng was Feng Cheng. The sins of the previous generation should not be inherited by the children.

Feng Cheng froze for a second upon hearing Su Hui’s response.

“You said the exact same thing as Senior…”

Su Hui glanced at Ning Yixiao’s back, his gaze unconsciously softening. “That guy? He dislikes hearing apologies even more than I do. The words ‘I’m sorry’ are his most hated phrase in this life.”

With that, Su Hui looked at the person before him. “Feng Cheng, you chose to step forward. I should be the one thanking you.”

Feng Cheng immediately waved his hands in a panic. “No, no… If I had been able to do it sooner, it wouldn’t have ended like this… I wanted to save you back then, but… I couldn’t…”

Su Hui interrupted him. “You were always under Guan Cheng’s control, weren’t you?”

Feng Cheng hung his head. “I had wanted to go abroad too, just like Senior, but my father was obsessed and, swayed by Guan Cheng, hit Senior… and harmed your mother. He… he thought that by doing so, Guan Cheng would give him a huge sum of money and pave a way for his future. But in reality, he handed me over to Guan Cheng, turning me into his running dog.”

The “future” he had hoped for vanished the moment that car accident happened. Feng Cheng couldn’t attend the schools he wanted, couldn’t go abroad, and could only take orders from Guan Cheng, working the jobs he was assigned. It looked like a smooth path, but it was all dirty work.

Feng Cheng had tried to resist. When he discovered the irregularities in Ji Yanan’s death and saw the state of his father’s body, he tried to escape, but he couldn’t break free from Guan Cheng’s control.

“I was too incompetent. My only option was to gain his trust, hoping that one day, someone like me could actually make a difference.”

Even without Feng Cheng spelling it out, Su Hui could imagine what his life had been like these past years.

“Don’t worry too much. None of this is your fault.” Su Hui changed the subject, his tone light. “What are your plans now? Have you thought about it?”

Feng Cheng’s eyelids drooped, staring at the coffee cup. “I feel very tired. I want to find a quiet place to hide. Once this all blows over… I might go to a small country, find some remote town to work and live in.”

“You don’t intend to continue your studies?”

The afternoon sun fell on Su Hui’s shoulders, making him look soft and gentle.

Feng Cheng looked up, shook his head, and said, “I don’t know. Maybe when I figure things out, I’ll change my mind.”

Su Hui nodded. “True. Many things don’t go according to plan even if you map them out. Take your time.”

Feng Cheng looked at Su Hui, hesitated for a long time, and finally spoke. “Have you… have you been well these past few years?”

Hearing this, Su Hui smiled. He let out a long breath, leaned back against the sofa, and watched the pedestrians outside the floor-to-ceiling windows. “Some good, some bad, but I’ve been lucky. I managed to hold on.”

Feng Cheng had always been worried about Su Hui. When he first started working under Guan Cheng, he had desperately wanted to find out which mental hospital Su Hui was in, but Guan Cheng never let it slip. He had no way to act, knowing only that Su Hui must have been suffering.

But he also knew clearly that Su Hui had walked out of it, and the strength that carried him through those days had nothing to do with him.

“That’s good.” Feng Cheng gripped his knees. “I… I’ve actually always been very grateful to you.”

Su Hui didn’t understand, scratching his head. “Grateful to me? Why?”

“Back in school, not many people actually talked to me.” Feng Cheng recalled that time, and it still hurt faintly. Unlike Ning Yixiao, who could command the wind and rain with countless friends, he was always a loner. Su Hui’s smile was the only light in his bleak memories.

“Only you would smile at me every time you saw me, and you were willing to let me get in your car, letting your dad take me home on the way. Every time in the car, I was too afraid to speak, and you were the only one who would share things with me…”

Although Feng Cheng later realized that Su Hui’s enthusiasm and cheerfulness were largely manifestations of his hypomania—a symptom of his illness and fundamentally a source of pain—that warmth had, at some point, illuminated him.

Su Hui didn’t think there was anything special about it. He smiled. “We were friends back then, after all.”

Feng Cheng paused and nodded.

Ning Yixiao, sitting diagonally across, hadn’t turned his head once, but he had essentially experienced the whole scene through the descriptions of the others at the table.

“The little guy is quite devoted and knows his boundaries.” Bella nudged Jingming with her elbow. “You said he was going to confess; he didn’t at all.”

Chloe glanced over. “It would be hard. He must know Eddy and Shaw are a couple.”

Jingming felt that made sense. “Maybe he knew six years ago and even helped hide it for you guys.”

Ning Yixiao didn’t comment, only finding the black tea here terrible and switching to lemonade instead.

Feng Cheng realized he shouldn’t keep talking. He downed the rest of his coffee and summoned the courage to bid his final farewell to Su Hui.

“From now on… I probably won’t appear in front of you again.”

Su Hui was surprised, his eyes widening. “Why is that?”

“I… it’s better if I don’t disturb your life.” He immediately added, “But if you ever need me for anything, please tell me immediately. I will definitely do my best.”

Su Hui smiled. “We aren’t in a superior-subordinate relationship.”

Feng Cheng’s ears turned red. He hesitated, then couldn’t help but ask, though in the moment he spoke, he changed the word “hug” to “handshake.”

“Before I go, can we shake hands?”

Su Hui glanced in Ning Yixiao’s direction. Whether it was telepathy or because they were always watching, Ning Yixiao, who had kept his back to them the whole time, gave a thumbs-up after a mere three or four seconds.

Su Hui couldn’t help but laugh.

Seeing him laugh, Feng Cheng followed his line of sight and realized they were sitting so close.

“Ah, well… it’s okay if we don’t shake hands.” He changed his mind instantly. “I’ll just…”

But Su Hui had already extended a hand. “I hope to see you again.”

Feng Cheng stared at his hand, hesitated, then carefully extended both of his hands, holding Su Hui’s for two brief seconds before letting go.

“See you again… I hope every day of your life is happy.”

His eyes were sincere.

Su Hui smiled. “You too. Live without burdens from now on.”

Jingming watched them for a long time, noticing that Ning Yixiao’s attitude seemed different from before.

“Hey, you used to be so petty, not letting even a potential rival off the hook. How are you so generous this time? It can’t just be because he helped out.”

Ning Yixiao’s expression was calm. “I’ve known for a long time that he was interested in Su Hui, but I’ve never considered him a romantic rival.”

Bella, bewildered, took a bite of ice cream. “Why?”

“He has no chance.”

Jingming chuckled. “And who does?”

Ning Yixiao replied coldly, “No one.”

“You’re really more confident than before.” Jingming clicked his tongue. “It’s all because Su Hui spoils you.”

Jingming rarely said anything serious, and Ning Yixiao never paid him much mind, but internally, he agreed with this statement.

If it were before, he might have found it difficult to treat everyone who liked Su Hui with rationality and objectivity. A lack of security meant he couldn’t be nonchalant; he hated any risk of losing Su Hui. He had lost him once; the feeling of that void was intense.

The weakness that no one else could see, Su Hui saw, and he was willing to offer his wholehearted security again and again. All the variables were shattered by Su Hui.

He could firmly believe that this relationship held no risks.

“The kid is leaving.” Bella pointed.

Only then did Ning Yixiao stand up, walk over to Su Hui, naturally drape an arm around his waist, and say goodbye to Feng Cheng with him.

After Feng Cheng left, the group relocated to a bistro Jingming had booked earlier.

“You guys have to relax completely today. I ordered drinks; there’s plenty.”

Su Hui’s mental state had been too tense lately; even his manic symptoms had been suppressed. He had many chaotic thoughts trapped in his mind, which felt terrible, so Su Hui didn’t restrain himself with the alcohol.

Ning Yixiao wanted to stop him, but couldn’t. He knew the situation was special; Su Hui didn’t say it out loud, but he had a lot bottled up. He could only let him indulge once.

“Ning Yixiao, you’re not drinking at all?” Jingming urged him. “This red wine is really special. Want to try?”

Chloe nodded. “It’s quite good.”

“No thanks. I have to drive.”

“You’re driving?” Jingming found it hard to grasp. “Are you sure?”

Bella, knowing he didn’t like driving, suggested, “Don’t drive. Just call a driver later.”

Ning Yixiao was always proactive. “Forget it. He’s drunk like this; he might make a scene in the car. If the driver sees that, he’ll be too embarrassed to face anyone tomorrow.”

Su Hui was already semi-drunk, his movements much more loose than usual. He grabbed Ning Yixiao’s hand, leaned against him, and shook his head at Jingming. “If he doesn’t want to drink, don’t make him, right, Yixiao?”

Ning Yixiao smiled and leaned down, knocking his forehead against his. “You’re right.”

“Right, Eddy’s solo exhibition officially opens in a few days. Let’s go see it together then,” Bella proposed. “We can host a celebratory party, too.”

Chloe nodded. “I’ll bring my camera. I should be able to get some great shots.”

Su Hui’s voice grew louder. “Okay! I’ll give you guys invitations!”

Jingming laughed. “Can you give me a limited-edition one, plus an autograph? I want to show it off.”

Ning Yixiao said to Su Hui, “Just print him one on A4 paper.”

“Hahahaha!”

The group ate and chatted, and time passed quickly. By the time they finished, it was dark. Jingming hadn’t played enough and proposed going to a nightclub, but Su Hui was completely wasted—he could barely walk, only one step away from blacking out.

“He can’t go anymore. You guys go ahead.”

“Take care on your way.”

After bidding farewell to the trio, Ning Yixiao guided the drunk Su Hui to the elevator, then to the parking garage. He helped him into the passenger seat and leaned over to fasten his seatbelt, but Su Hui struggled against the belt, whispering “uncomfortable” and “don’t.” Ning Yixiao had no choice but to move him to the backseat, where there was more room. Su Hui curled up obediently.

Just as they drove a short distance, Su Hui, who had been completely unconscious, suddenly “resurrected,” opening his eyes and rolling down the window while humming a song.

“So cool.”

Ning Yixiao stared at him, terrified he’d climb out.

“Don’t stick your hand out. It’s dangerous.”

Drunk Su Hui wasn’t listening, nor did he understand. “What?”

This wouldn’t do.

After passing the busiest roads, Ning Yixiao ignored the navigation and took a quieter route. There was a park nearby, and he parked the car at the back, where it was deserted and empty.

“Where is this?” Su Hui looked dazed, turning his head to look at Ning Yixiao, then out the window. “So dark…”

Ning Yixiao unfastened his seatbelt. “Still want to play outside? Let’s finish playing before sitting in the car; it’s too dangerous otherwise.”

He left the driver’s seat, opened the rear door, and extended a hand to Su Hui. “Want to come out?”

But Su Hui shook his head. “It’s very dark outside…” He grabbed Ning Yixiao’s hand. “Come in and stay with me.”

Ning Yixiao obliged, hunching over to climb in. The moment he closed the car door, the world fell into a profound silence.

Su Hui stared at his face the entire time.

“What are you looking at?” Ning Yixiao pinched his chin. “Something on my face?”

Su Hui’s eyes were misty; he blinked, looking confused. His skin was thin, and with the alcohol, he was flushed pink, like lingering marks after being pinched.

“Ning Yixiao… why are you wearing glasses?”

Definitely drunk.

“Didn’t I tell you…”

Before he could finish, Su Hui raised his hand, took off Ning Yixiao’s glasses, and put them on his own face.

But he couldn’t adapt to the prescription, so he had to squint.

Ning Yixiao couldn’t help but laugh, leaning in to kiss his lips.

Su Hui froze, his entire body tense, even pulling back.

“Why… why did you kiss me…”

Ning Yixiao frowned, puzzled. “Why? That’s the most novel question I’ve ever heard.”

Su Hui covered his own mouth, his eyes wide, looking truly terrified.

“Didn’t we… just meet… not long ago?”

Ning Yixiao narrowed his eyes, reaching up to touch Su Hui’s forehead.

No fever.

Could he be hallucinating again?

“You’re drunk.”

Su Hui shook his head, rambling. “My medicine… too much, my mom forced me… I told her I already took it, I drank so much water but it didn’t help…”

He was talking nonsense.

Ning Yixiao leaned closer, close enough to feel the scent of alcohol in Su Hui’s breath. “Su Hui, how old are you right now?”

Su Hui’s long lashes fluttered. “…20.”

Ning Yixiao couldn’t help but laugh as he removed his glasses. “So young.”

But Su Hui was so intimidated by his overly intimate actions that he dared not move. “You…”

“Me?” Ning Yixiao had a mischievous thought and teased him on purpose. “I’m 27. I know a lot of things you don’t.”

“What…” Su Hui looked at his face in disbelief, his head swimming, unable to think.

“For instance…” Ning Yixiao thought about it. “On July 12th of your 20th year, you’ll start dating me. That day, you saw the Manhattanhenge; it lasted 15 minutes and 20 seconds. The first time we slept together was…”

Before he could finish, Su Hui frantically covered his mouth.

Too interesting.

Ning Yixiao laughed, kissing his palm, which made Su Hui pull his hand back in terror.

“Want to hear more?” He leaned closer again.

Su Hui didn’t dare speak.

He should have escaped his grandfather’s birthday party and become dizzy from lithium carbonate toxicity, so why did Ning Yixiao appear, kiss him, and say such strange things? Even though he had fallen for him at first sight, but…

“Don’t be nervous. You’re often like this, just usually you don’t show it,” Ning Yixiao comforted him. “You only differentiate between reality and hallucination in your heart. Last time I had a birthday, you also thought I was only 21.”

“Hallucination…” Su Hui muttered to himself.

“Su Hui, why do you forget everything when you’re drunk?” Ning Yixiao pinched his cheeks. “Didn’t we spend a whole life together in a hallucination before? Turned into two old grandpas, don’t remember that?”

Su Hui stared straight at him as if he had something to say, yet he was chaotic and frowned, struggling for a long time. Ning Yixiao had assumed he wouldn’t respond, but he finally spoke.

“We… spent a whole life together…”

Seeing Su Hui so serious, Ning Yixiao teased him again. “Nope.”

“We broke up later.”

“In the winter of your 20th year, we were apart for 2,195 days.”

As he finished, Su Hui’s expression changed. He looked devastated, his eyes filled with confusion and bewilderment.

“Really?”

Ning Yixiao nodded. “Mm.”

He hadn’t expected Su Hui to suddenly burst into tears; even Su Hui himself didn’t know why he was crying.

Only then did Ning Yixiao realize that Su Hui’s brain perhaps really hadn’t distinguished between reality and the past, but his subconscious was grieving, as if choosing to discard this trauma to escape the stress response.

He began to regret teasing him like this, so he wiped his tears gently and pulled Su Hui into his arms. “It’s my fault, my mistake. Don’t cry.”

“Why did you tell me…” Su Hui buried his head in Ning Yixiao’s shoulder, clenching his teeth to hold it back, but he couldn’t stop sobbing, complaining like a child. “I like you so much.”

“I know.” Ning Yixiao lifted him, stroked his face, and kissed away his tears. “Stop crying, okay?”

Su Hui felt strange. It was as if he had inexplicably lost a long chunk of memory, jumping from a rainy day at 20 to this very moment. The Ning Yixiao before him felt somewhat unfamiliar, yet he was terrified of losing him.

Too absurd.

He didn’t know if this was a side effect of the medication or if his own brain was malfunctioning.

When he stopped crying, he couldn’t help but look at Ning Yixiao again. Somehow, he reached out and touched the mole at the corner of his eye.

He wanted to confirm whether this person in front of him really existed.

Ning Yixiao held his hand and whispered, “Little Cat, can I kiss you?”

Su Hui didn’t know why he called him a Little Cat,, but looking into his eyes, he nodded almost hypnotically. Ning Yixiao leaned in and kissed him. It started with light pecks, but soon his tongue slipped in, nimble and skilled like a swimming fish, hooking into desire.

It began to rain outside, the trails of water sliding down the car windows.

When they parted, a thin strand of moisture stretched between their lips.

Ning Yixiao gazed into Su Hui’s eyes. The expression in them was different—bewilderment and surrender mixed with the damp scent of alcohol and chaotic thoughts—composing a truly unique aesthetic.

Their gaze lingered, long as a quiet, deep breath.

Ning Yixiao spoke again, his voice slightly hoarse. “On December 23rd of your 26th year, we will meet again. That day also had snow. Your expression was just like it is now, like you were about to cry in front of me.”

“We will reconcile, and we will live together forever. We will grow old, just like you imagined.”

As Su Hui blinked, he frowned, and another tear fell.

“You’re… spoiling the plot…”

Ning Yixiao laughed. “You won’t say that tomorrow.”

Su Hui had nothing to say, but Ning Yixiao asked if he could kiss him again. He was lost in a daze once more, but this time it was far more intense than he could have anticipated.

His wrists were pressed against the cold glass window, and in the cramped space, Su Hui was pushed against the car door.

Ning Yixiao’s kisses carried a casual, teasing quality. He suckled at Su Hui’s soft lips as if they were jelly, occasionally closing his teeth to leave a mark.

Su Hui’s mouth felt tingly and numb; the pain of being bitten fueled a deep sense of exhilaration, making him respond to Ning Yixiao’s kisses involuntarily. Reason told Su Hui he should have a proper talk with Ning Yixiao, but seeing his face so close, feeling his warm breath against his skin, he chose to believe everything Ning Yixiao had just said. This person made him feel loved, and love filled the vast emptiness of his memory.

Relying on his superior lung capacity, Ning Yixiao would kiss Su Hui until he was dizzy and pushing him away before mercifully giving him a chance to catch his breath.

They kissed for a long time, Su Hui’s face flushed a deep red from lack of oxygen. It was like six years ago—Ning Yixiao, despite being penniless, choosing to buy the expensive peach because it reminded him of Su Hui; one prick, and the juices overflowed, swirling between them, sweet and cloying.

(The following section has been omitted per safety guidelines regarding explicit content.)

…Ning Yixiao looked at the white fluid, diluted by the hand cream on his hand, leaned into Su Hui’s ear, and teased him, “What to do? Looks like I’ll need to wash the car.”

His rigid member thrust inside, replacing his fingers. The moment he entered, Su Hui seemed to hit a switch, his consciousness fading into a blur.

When Ning Yixiao entered, he said “no”; when his glans rubbed hard against a sensitive spot, he said “no”; even when Ning Yixiao listened to him and feigned withdrawal, he subconsciously said “no.”

“No.” Ning Yixiao looked down at the dazed Su Hui, deliberately imitating his speech. “Then I’ll leave.”

“No.” Su Hui begged him to stay, his bound wrists brushing against Ning Yixiao’s face. He didn’t know what to do; he only knew he couldn’t let this person leave, whenever, wherever, or however.

“Then relax.” Ning Yixiao patted Su Hui’s hip, using one hand to guide his hips down while the other languidly toyed with Su Hui’s erect member.

Ning Yixiao’s entire demeanor tonight was incredibly unrestrained—a hybrid of the man from six years ago and the man of today. His sharp interior was wrapped in a soft exterior, revealed only in the intensity of his movements.

Su Hui tried his best to relax, swallowing the length within him. He felt a hint of the fear of being left behind, mingled with this strange, familiar pleasure. The seated position allowed his member to scrape deep against the walls; his prostate was struck again and again. Su Hui’s limbs felt submerged in a hot spring—sore and weak, floating on desire, waiting for Ning Yixiao to haul him back.

Su Hui’s back and scalp tingled from the pleasure. The overabundance of sensation made him want to release, but the alcohol kept him lingering.

His whole body was flushed red. During another deep thrust, his torso suddenly froze in mid-air, his waist and abdomen trembling as he reached a dry climax.

Tears had already blurred his face. Seeing Su Hui trying to find release but unable to, Ning Yixiao felt a pang of heartache. He stopped, holding the still-shuddering Su Hui in his arms, stroking his back to help him regulate his breathing.

“Little Cat, is so good.” Ning Yixiao kissed Su Hui’s temple.

Su Hui’s consciousness was blurred, yet he still wanted to entangle himself in kisses. Ning Yixiao granted his wish, waiting for the person in his arms to pass the refractory period before beginning again.

With his hands bound, he couldn’t comfort himself, so he mumbled Ning Yixiao’s name, desperate for his comfort.

“Say it,” Ning Yixiao’s long fingers stroked Su Hui’s member again, rubbing along the coronal groove, his palm gripping and stroking while his lower body maintained a steady, firm pressure against the prostate.

“Ning Yixiao… Hubby…” Su Hui was delirious, speaking nonsense he would never say sober, his words slurred, melting like cotton candy into the sex.

“Let me spoil the ending one last time.”

“What?”

“We’ve done this countless times.”

Ning Yixiao’s lips brushed Su Hui’s earlobe. “Countless times.”

Su Hui’s erect member was an unnatural shade of red. In this prolonged torment of pleasure, he finally saw the dawn of release. He was nearly broken by the pleasure he couldn’t vent. When the real climax hit, he even murmured “let me think.” As he shot for a few seconds, when the cool semen landed on his skin, he realized in a daze that he had finally finished.

Some of the excessive, long-repressed semen even landed on Ning Yixiao’s face. Ning Yixiao, wearing the semen-stained face, stated a fact that made Su Hui feel ashamed in an incredibly calm tone: “Su Hui, you got it all on my face.” Then, in the next second, he issued an order: “Lick it clean.”

Su Hui’s last memory was the salty, raw scent in his mouth as he kissed Ning Yixiao’s face. Because in the next second, he passed out in Ning Yixiao’s arms from exhaustion.

__

Author’s Note:

Ning Yixiao, you really are… (pointing and scolding)