Chapter 55: Azure Cloud (33)

He Tingtong woke up with a start in the night.

He had a messy, complicated dream, stuffed full of all sorts of jumbled things. Red and white intertwined, the images fragmented, yet they were wiped clean from his memory the moment he opened his eyes.

His head throbbed dully, as if he had a hangover, or perhaps like someone had struck the back of his head with a hammer.

His fingers twitched slightly. The next second, a dry, scorching palm reached over, grasped his wrist, and a voice asked softly, “Why are you awake?”

He Tingtong squinted. A flicker of wavering light appeared in his vision—it was a flame on Fu Fengyan’s fingertip. The bed curtains hung down, silence all around, save for the shallow breathing of the person beside the bed rising and falling, followed by a somewhat concerned tone, “You’ve only slept for six hours.”

He Tingtong pressed a hand to his forehead. “What time is it?”

“A quarter past the Hour of the Ox.” Fu Fengyan lit the oil lamp. Seeing He Tingtong’s pale face, he leaned a little closer. “Did you have a dream?”

“Probably.” He Tingtong closed his eyes, but the nauseating feeling from the dream wouldn’t dissipate. Unable to sleep anymore, he simply sat up. “I’m going out for some air.”

He grabbed his clothes and wrapped them around himself. Glancing sideways, he saw Fu Fengyan hesitating to speak, finally whispering, “Do you want something to eat?”

He Tingtong asked alertly, “Did you cook?”

The food at Azure Cloud Academy was hard to swallow. Usually, unless they were extremely hungry, they cooked for themselves. Fu Fengyan had watched enough times to learn a trick or two, but he liked to get “inspired” while cooking, adding all sorts of random things. Although he occasionally performed beyond expectations, most of the time he would produce a pot of pig slop.

If he had cooked… He Tingtong wanted to lie back down.

“No.” Fu Fengyan hesitated. “It’s Zhang Duixue. He brought a food box back, from Zefang House. But… he doesn’t look right. Like his husband just died.”

He Tingtong raised an eyebrow, then frowned again. If Xie Xuanxiao actually died, that would be fine, but knowing what he knew about Zhang Duixue, this guy was definitely the one who got the short end of the stick.

He immediately put on his clothes and went straight out the door.

It was the twelfth of the third month, close to mid-month. The moon was exceptionally bright, bathing the courtyard in silver-white. On the table in the middle of the small courtyard sat a pot of wine and a huge food box containing everything Fu Fengyan had listed on his menu.

And Zhang Duixue, who should have been exchanging heartfelt sentiments with his beloved at Langhuan Pavilion to relieve his longing, was currently resting one foot on a stone stool, drinking expressionlessly.

He radiated a fierce aura of killing without blinking, lurking there as if he would start hacking people apart the next second.

A plate of peanuts sat in front of him. Who knows where he got peanuts with shells? With a pinch of two fingers, a crack was heard, and the peanut shell shattered into two halves, the red skin inside turning into crumbs. Finally, he threw it into his mouth and chewed raw, crunch crunch.

The way he looked, it didn’t seem like he was crushing peanuts, but rather someone’s skull, and it sounded like he was gnawing on someone’s bones.

This state was clearly wrong. He Tingtong approached slowly and sat next to him. “Brother Zhang.”

Zhang Duixue’s fingers paused while pinching a peanut. Then, he restrained all his emotions and squeezed out a smile. “Why are you awake at this time? Are you hungry?”

“I bought porridge. It’s still hot. Want a bowl first?”

Zhang Duixue stood up, opened the food box, took everything out, and laid them out on the table one by one. “You’ve been tired for so many days, you probably haven’t eaten anything. This is yam porridge, it’s good for the stomach.”

He Tingtong fetched a bowl from the kitchen, picked up the wine jar by Zhang Duixue’s foot, filled the bowl, then also pinched a peanut and threw it into his mouth to chew. Raising his cup to him, he asked, “Bad mood? Want to talk about it?”

Zhang Duixue clinked cups with him and drank it all in one gulp. The fingers of his other hand pressed hard on the table, almost leaving an imprint on the stone surface. He said calmly, “It’s my own problem. I saw a scene, felt uncomfortable, then got a little jealous, so I’m drinking a bit to even it out.”

He Tingtong had sharp eyes. He pointed at the scrape on Zhang Duixue’s knuckles and the tear on the hem of his robe. “Got into a fight?”

Zhang Duixue denied it vehemently. “No way?”

But meeting the scrutinizing gazes of both He Tingtong and Fu Fengyan, his spine tingled, and he said sheepishly, “I didn’t fight inside the academy. That shouldn’t count as breaking the rules, right?”

He Tingtong propped his head on one hand. “Let’s hear it. Let me analyze it.”

“The Young Palace Master asked to meet me today, but he missed the appointment.” Zhang Duixue’s tone was downcast as he murmured, “Actually, missing the appointment doesn’t matter. I know he’s busy and tired. It doesn’t matter if he forgot to tell me. I’m off today and tomorrow, I can afford to wait. But he was drinking outside, and then I saw… he seems to have had a change of heart.”

Zhang Duixue looked up, his eyes full of confusion. “I went out to buy food and saw him getting entangled with someone else. He fell, and someone supported him. That person should be a private guard kept by Yuanchen Palace. The way the Young Palace Master looked at him made me very uncomfortable.”

Although there are always people in this world who handle alcohol poorly and act crazy when drunk, Xie Xuanxiao was never among the crazy ones. There was actually little difference between him drunk and sober, except that the emotions in his eyes would leak out more.

Zhang Duixue always knew Xie Xuanxiao was good at disguising himself, but he could distinguish true feelings from false ones. In the moment Xie Xuanxiao fell, Zhang Duixue caught his gaze. The look he gave that person was too profound. Those ink-black eyes, heavy as if weighed down by so many things, seemed to see some rare treasure when the private guard grabbed him, so joyful he was about to shed tears.

In front of him, Xie Xuanxiao was always strategizing, profound and unpredictable. He had never seen the other party reveal such emotions in front of him.

He accidentally knocked over the food box, but Xie Xuanxiao didn’t even look back at him once.

Zhang Duixue had wanted to go over and ask clearly, but the people around Xie Xuanxiao seemed to receive some order, and immediately a group of them came at him, rubbing their fists and palms.

Xie Xuanxiao had many supporters in Langhuan Pavilion. Many people had witnessed Zhang Duixue disobeying orders and hindering Xie Xuanxiao from breaking the formation during the Azure Cloud Trial. Over the past year, his identity and background had long been investigated thoroughly. Coupled with the fact that Langhuan Pavilion failed to get first place in that trial and let the Pavilion of Heavenly Sound pick up the win, many formation masters privately badmouthed him, calling him a disaster, a monster, shameless, an ungrateful wretch who couldn’t be tamed, and other nasty things.

In the past, with Xie Xuanxiao protecting him, no one dared to show this disdain on their faces. But now that Xie Xuanxiao seemed to be having a change of heart, someone immediately couldn’t suppress their wicked thoughts and wanted to teach Zhang Duixue a lesson.

“They made the first move on me.” Zhang Duixue hung his head, his messy hair drooping down, looking listless. “It was self-defense. Someone threw a killing formation, so I took action and beat them up. But I held back; it’s just a few scratches.”

Obviously, that group of troublemakers had probably forgotten who Zhang Duixue’s current teacher was.

A year had passed. Although Zhang Duixue’s realm hadn’t increased, it didn’t mean his physique and combat capability were still like the half-baked self-taught cultivator he was when he first enrolled last year.

He used to cultivate too lazily, fishing for three days and drying nets for two. His realm relied mostly on dual cultivation with Xie Xuanxiao. Qin Tan observed for a few days and simply said his foundation wasn’t solid enough. So for the past year, he had been tormented relentlessly, forcefully suppressing spiritual energy to impact his spiritual veins, expanding them to be broader. As for swordsmanship, he learned from Qin Tan in class, and after class, Fu Fengyan and He Tingtong practiced with him. His swordsmanship progressed rapidly, improving by leaps and bounds.

If he hadn’t been suppressing his realm, breaking through to the Sixth Realm right now wouldn’t be impossible.

Those few people thought Zhang Duixue without Xie Xuanxiao was a soft persimmon to be squashed. Unfortunately, when they swung their hammer with all their might, they hit a spiked mace.

“I just educated them a little. Now they know their mistake. To express their apology to me, they even went specially to Zefang House to buy these things and send them over.” Zhang Duixue pushed a bowl of cheese curd in front of He Tingtong. “So, can Regent He be lenient and let me off the hook?”

Seeing the Regent Crown Prince’s expression deep and unfathomable, hard to guess, Zhang Duixue took out another bowl and handed it to Fu Fengyan. “I trouble the Chief Eunuch to help plead for mercy, blow some pillow talk.”

Fu Fengyan accepted the bribe, looked at the stern-faced He Tingtong beside him, and said with difficulty, “Regent He has never been close to beauty. I’m afraid my blowing won’t work. Why don’t you crawl to the mountain gate and erase the school rule prohibiting private fighting yourself?”

He Tingtong smacked him on the head. “You only know how to come up with rotten ideas.”

Fu Fengyan rubbed his head, expressing grievance.

“You were outside the school, not inside. Don’t worry, I can’t control that.” He Tingtong scooped a spoonful of dessert. Looking at Zhang Duixue’s half-lowered brow and eyes, he asked softly, “Feeling very bad inside?”

“It’s okay, I guess.” Zhang Duixue kept his head lowered, his voice normal. “I knew very early on that I wouldn’t last long with the Young Palace Master.”

“They were right. The Young Palace Master is the bright moon in the sky, and at best I’m a stalk of foxtail grass. He has such a good family background, such good aptitude; I can’t catch up even if I whip my horse. To be able to… be together for these few years, even if I was just a pastime for the Young Palace Master when he was bored, that’s already very good. After all, didn’t he send me to Azure Cloud Academy? I should be grateful to him.” Something glistening fell under the moonlight, and was awkwardly wiped away by a hand. Zhang Duixue’s slightly hoarse sobbing sounded. “Sorry, I made a fool of myself.”

There were a dozen dishes on the table. They were piping hot and steaming when taken out of the insulated food box, but after the cold air blew a few breaths, that steaming temperature dropped in an instant.

Just like Zhang Duixue’s burning heart.

In his past few lives, Zhang Duixue hadn’t not experienced these things. The first time he discovered Xie Xuanxiao and his shadow guard were involved ambiguously, he made a scene, but what he got was a sentence: “I am innocent with him. A-Xue, can you stop being willful?”

Zhang Duixue struggled bitterly like that, holding his sincere heart in his hands, watching Xie Xuanxiao become more and more biased, crossing boundaries, and finally abandoning him completely.

He Tingtong hadn’t seen that “shadow guard” in his last life, but listening to these few words today, he guessed the “person” Zhang Duixue mentioned was probably the shadow guard Xie Xuanxiao fancied in the previous life, the “true white moonlight” who made Zhang Duixue’s life a living hell.

Although he knew this day would come, it felt a bit too fast, abnormally fast.

However, based on his experience from his past life and Xie Xuanxiao’s personality, the probability of Zhang Duixue breaking free from this person right now was basically zero. But seeing his friend looking so aggrieved, He Tingtong sighed in his heart, his gaze softening. He reached out and rubbed Zhang Duixue’s head, rustling that messy hair until it stuck up again. “Liking someone isn’t something to be ashamed of, and being betrayed isn’t your fault either. The one who did wrong is someone else. Little Xue, if you want to cry, just cry.”

“After crying, go seek justice.”

Zhang Duixue’s suppressed sobbing grew louder. He had drunk too much wine; tears and alcohol rushed to his head together. In the instant his emotions surged, an almost overwhelming sadness washed over him. He didn’t know why he was breaking down like this. When he was blown down by the astral wind while sword flying and broke his arm, he hadn’t shed a tear. But now, hugging He Tingtong, he wailed loudly, tears flowing like a fountain.

“How could he suddenly stop liking me? At least give me a reason!”

“All sweet words are lies. He doesn’t love me at all, he was just in it for the novelty. Xie Xuanxiao, you’re a bastard!” Zhang Duixue began to curse loudly. “If you said you didn’t like me earlier, I wouldn’t have pinched the days every month to go find you, wasting my sword practice time. Xie Xuanxiao, your crimes are heinous, ah, wu wu wu…”

“I’ll never look for him again. Tomorrow I’ll go find Mr. Qin. I want to go into seclusion. I won’t take days off anymore, never resting again!”

He Tingtong: “…” That’s not really necessary.

Fu Fengyan observed from the side. Looking at the youth crying like a tabby cat, not pretty at all, he touched his own face, absorbing valuable experience from it.

“I don’t want to see him ever again.” Zhang Duixue wiped his tears. His eyelids were red and swollen, but his emotions had stabilized a lot after crying. “Sorry, I got your clothes dirty.”

He Tingtong was wearing casual clothes, and now his shoulder was soaked, a puddle of water.

“It’s fine, it’ll wash out.” He Tingtong rubbed Zhang Duixue’s head.

“With a large number of new students enrolling, the Dean will be back soon. I’ve freed up a lot of time, so we can go to class together recently.” He Tingtong comforted softly, “We are all your friends. If you encounter anything, feel free to tell us, never hold it in.”

Although Zhang Duixue was still suppressing his realm, sooner or later he would have to open his Sea of Consciousness and Heart Domain. At times like this, he absolutely couldn’t be allowed to develop a knot in his heart, fearing that a small knot would turn into a love tribulation, and then into eternal doom.

Because he had stayed away from Langhuan Pavilion this past year, those rumors and secret ostracizing didn’t land on Zhang Duixue. Coupled with Qin Tan’s protection, Zhang Duixue could basically walk sideways in the academy. His life was smooth sailing now; the disguise of being fierce in appearance but weak inside from their first meeting was gone, and his personality was much more cheerful and straightforward.

“I’m going to ask the Young Palace Master for a clear explanation tomorrow.” Zhang Duixue said firmly. “If he likes that shadow guard, he should give the other person a status. What does straddling two boats right now count as?”

“This is also a form of disrespect to his new love!”

The youth who had made up his mind slapped the table and stood up abruptly. He said resolutely, “Tomorrow I will go and have it out with the Young Palace Master. I will never be with him again!”

---

A cluster of apricot blossoms drifted down. Scattered petals fell like fine grains of snow, sticking to a person’s hair, a layer of pale white, then slowly soaking in blood red.

He pressed his palm over that rupture, trying to stop the constantly gushing blood, but the wound was simply too large, almost cutting the person in half. His clothes were soaked through, blood gushing out like flowing water, turning the grass leaves red.

His spiritual veins were dried up, all the magical artifacts on his body exhausted. Looking at that fatal penetrating wound, he was powerless, only able to press on the wound in futility, weeping bitterly as he watched the blood flow through his fingers. “Don’t die, don’t die, don’t die!”

Countless cries for help roared from his throat, but no matter how he shouted, no one came, no one approached. There were corpses everywhere. He was probably the only one left alive in this area… as well as the young man before him still breathing with difficulty.

No one came to save them, no one could be saved. The body of the person lying in the pool of blood gradually turned cold. The other’s dry, pale lips opened and closed, reciting a sentence weakly, “Actually… we met a long time ago.”

A cold, stiff hand covered the back of his hand, touching it lightly. “Too late. My spiritual foundation is shattered, I can’t hold on.”

The light in those eyes gradually dimmed, like glass beads covered in fog. “Everyone must die, it’s just… it’s just that I’m still unwilling to accept it. You and I… just got together.”

The corners of that person’s lips, submerged in blood, hooked up, revealing an overly mocking, bitter smile. That trace of bitterness spread to the corner of his eye, turning into a falling drop of moisture that disappeared into his temple. “I really… am unwilling, very unwilling…”

“Young Palace Master, if there is a next life, recognize me earlier… okay?”

“Young Palace Master, wake up. Someone is looking for you; they’ve almost caused a scene reaching the inner hall.” The shadow guard’s cold voice rang out in the room. Xie Xuanxiao opened his eyes abruptly. He sat up from the bed, covered in cold sweat sticking to his clothes, his long hair draped messily behind his head, a rare state of disarray.

He raised his eyes. Pale sunlight shone in from the window lattice; the sky was bright. It was already the second day.

He breathed a sigh of relief, clutching his chest, waiting for his wildly beating heart to calm down, then slowly stood up. “Who is it?”

Last night was the twelfth of the third month. He was supposed to meet Zhang Duixue, but that day was the anniversary of a death. He truly couldn’t bear to see that face. Coincidentally, someone invited him for drinks, so he went and got dead drunk.

Although he had a nightmare, he had dreamed it too many times and was quite numb to it. Now awake, his mood was much calmer.

He missed the appointment yesterday; he should go coax Little Xue now.

Getting up and dressing, he instructed the shadow guard while binding his hair, “Who is looking for me? If it’s not urgent, I’m not seeing guests today.”

The shadow guard’s voice was calm and ripple-less, revealing an indescribable rigidness. “It’s the Young Palace Master’s wife. He brought those few good friends of his and is causing a scene at the gate, saying you are straddling two boats and wants to sever ties with you.”

Xie Xuanxiao: “…”