Xie Lan kept that sticky note in his pocket like a burning coal, the kind that could scald blisters onto his hand. When classmates greeted him on the way, he could only nod blankly, clutching the culprit tightly in his pocket for fear of being discovered.

—His superficial sense of the Chinese language did not prevent him from detecting the dark aura emanating from these two lines of Chinese love talk.

Other people’s sweet words might attract love, but these two lines could only attract a forensic pathologist.

Two classes were still playing basketball on the small playground. Class 4 didn’t have P.E. today. One side on the court was Class 12, and Xie Lan didn’t recognize the other side, but judging by their attire, almost every one of them could be classified in the same camp as Brother Cao from Class 12. He glanced casually as he passed by; the smell of gunpowder between the two classes was strong. Blocks were smashed to the ground with bangs and pops. The P.E. teacher was on leave today, so no one was keeping score or whistling for this game. Physical conflicts happened casually, and the spectators on the sidelines would collectively “boo” at the drop of a hat.

In contrast, the owls of Class 4 had a completely different style. No one went to join the excitement at the court. Everyone held an ice cream, walking in circles nearby in groups of two or three.

Xie Lan walked through the tree-lined path nearby and finally found Dou Sheng. He was sitting on the concrete slope in front of the cafeteria, holding two ice creams in his hand, his long legs bent and stretched as he zoned out.

Seeing Xie Lan, he raised a smiling face and patted the empty space beside him.

“Waited for you for a long time; the ice is about to melt.” Dou Sheng handed over one of the “Grape Ice” popsicles in purple packaging. Xie Lan said thanks, tore open the wrapper, and took a bite.

Pure ice, not a drop of milk. He had never eaten ice cream without milk in the UK. It was very refreshing in the mouth, a bit addictive.

Dou Sheng’s expression showed nothing unusual, as if nothing had happened. He smiled, holding the ice in his mouth, watching the ball game not far away. After a while, he tutted, “Something’s not right. Class 12 and Liberal Arts Class 9 seem to have a story.”

Story?

Xie Lan followed his gaze and just happened to see Chen Ge collide with a burly boy with a bang.

Chen Ge looked thin, but it was the kind of wiry thinness honed by exercise. He surprisingly didn’t lose out under the crushing difference in body size; when he fell back into a sitting position, he even used his hand to support himself. But the opponent was more miserable, sliding out sideways directly, scraping a patch of red on his arm. The sidelines erupted in another roar.

Xie Lan felt a bit anxious watching, but Dou Sheng just faintly withdrew his gaze, raised his ice cream, and yawned.

“Did you go back to the classroom?” Dou Sheng asked.

Hearing this, Xie Lan hesitated for two seconds, then took out that absurd sticky note and pressed it onto Dou Sheng’s leg.

Dou Sheng froze, then couldn’t help laughing. “You really went back to the classroom? Discovered so quickly; I didn’t even have time to record your reaction.”

Xie Lan glanced at him. “Hu Xiujie agreed to leave the self-criticism with me. I originally went back to drop off stuff, and I was startled to see no one in the classroom. I forgot there was P.E. class today.”

He felt this explanation was pretty good—the context wasn’t too deliberate, and it wouldn’t make Dou Sheng overthink.

Sure enough, Dou Sheng just nodded and smiled. “Isn’t this to demonstrate the correct way to prank with sweet words? Learned it, right? Those translations of yours have absolutely no mental attack power. Only cheesy love lines (Tu Wei Qing Hua – “Earthy/Cheesy Love Talk”) are the strongest.”

Cheesy Love Lines.

Chinese was too incisive. Four simple characters summarized the complex feeling of ten thousand horses galloping in Xie Lan’s heart when he saw those lines of small text just now.

He was speechless for a while before saying, “Can you make something not ‘earthy’?”

Dou Sheng smiled faintly. “The point is to break your mental comfort zone. Otherwise, what about the Hardcore High School Record?”

“You’re going to put this footage in the end-of-semester video too?”

“Yeah, otherwise why would I do it?”

“…” Xie Lan said expressionlessly, “If the video goes viral, remember to send money.”

“It’s all yours,” Dou Sheng said with a smile.

Dou Sheng leaned back and lay down, closing his eyes contentedly. The sunlight filtered through the leaves of the phoenix tree at the cafeteria entrance, casting two bright spots on his face. After a long time, he asked in a low voice, “Are you tired? It’s been hard these past two days. Go to sleep early tonight.”

Xie Lan gave a hum and couldn’t help yawning too.

Just as he was about to lie down with Dou Sheng, an earphone was suddenly stuffed into his right ear.

It was the Grassland Symphony video, just reaching the “Totoro” piece. Leisurely and cheerful, it was very relaxing.

Dou Sheng wore the other earphone in his left ear and said with closed eyes, “So sleepy. Let’s sleep for a bit together.”

“En.”

Xie Lan listened to the violin sound in the earphone and vaguely distinguished the few solitary notes belonging to Dou Sheng within it. He leaned back, lying beside Dou Sheng. For some reason, he suddenly thought of the two cats lying together sunbathing in the summer.

Big Cat, Second Cat. Dou Sheng had made the analogy casually at the time, but it was quite vivid.

Xie Lan suddenly felt less agitated, as long as he didn’t think about Dou Sheng saying “I have someone I like” just now.

The sun made people feel warm and lazy. His mouth, having just eaten ice, was still cold, carrying a trace of sweet aftertaste.

“Xie Lan.”

Dou Sheng suddenly spoke, calling his name in a low voice.

Xie Lan opened his eyes. “Hmm?”

The sunlight spilling through the gaps in the leaves was a bit dazzling. He turned his head and looked at Dou Sheng’s profile. Dou Sheng’s silhouette was very handsome, the lines distinct. His skin was so white it glowed, setting off those black eyes to be even more tranquil and deep.

Dou Sheng looked upwards and whispered, “Feng Miao didn’t sign her note, but this probably isn’t the first time. The past two weeks, I’ve often found cookies and stuff in my desk; I guess it was her too. So I made it clear to her just now. She’s quite cheerful, so she shouldn’t be awkward for too long.”

Xie Lan was stunned for a moment before giving a dull “Oh.”

Why tell him this?

He felt Dou Sheng was quite strange. To say they were heart-to-heart close, Dou Sheng never mentioned things before middle school—that past about “hitting bottom and bouncing back” that Dai You and Che Ziming all knew. But to say he just treated him as an ordinary friend, he took him along for everything. Xie Lan even vaguely felt that the time Dou Sheng spent with him now was much more than with Che Ziming and the others.

“In the future, if you see anyone else passing notes, stuffing love letters, giving gifts—anyway, those kinds of things—please just throw them away for me directly.”

As Dou Sheng spoke, he closed his eyes again. “It’s annoying. Out of sight, out of mind. Thanks.”

Xie Lan stared for a while. “Are you serious? You won’t even consider who sent it?”

“Won’t consider.” Dou Sheng refused very decisively. After a pause, he added, “I probably already have someone I like. Except for him, I won’t consider anyone else.”

Xie Lan’s heartbeat paused.

He heard the sound of himself swallowing nervously.

“Who is it? Have I met them?”

“Maybe you have.” Dou Sheng suddenly raised the corners of his lips, but the smile only stayed for an instant. He quickly hid it carefully again, only saying faintly, “A niche public figure, but faded out of the public eye long ago. Even if I said it, you might not recall.”

“?”

Xie Lan sat up instantly. “The person you seriously like, for whom you reject all confessions, is a celebrity?”

Dou Sheng opened his mouth. “Ah. Maybe not quite a celebrity, but indeed has works, and very good works at that.”

Xie Lan felt his face instantly turn into a small TV, with question marks floating across the screen in a line.

Toxic, right?

Damn.

He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. “What kind of liking is this?”

“It counts.” Dou Sheng kept his eyes closed, his tone low but very certain.

Probably the most serious sentence Xie Lan had heard him say since knowing him for so long.

“Before, I just felt some spiritual bond, but now I’m increasingly sure. I like him very much.”

Xie Lan: “…”

Whatever. Can’t communicate.

He lay back down on the concrete violently. Only when he was about to land did he realize something was wrong; the movement was too fierce, the back of his head would probably suffer.

However, it didn’t. He braked a bit himself, and upon landing, Dou Sheng reached out and cushioned the back of his head with his palm.

Dou Sheng’s palm frame was on the larger side, proportional to his height. It looked slender normally, but felt soft when lying on it.

The back of his head could clearly perceive Dou Sheng’s five fingers.

Dou Sheng smiled faintly and said, “You wouldn’t understand even if I told you, but don’t look down on my liking, or I’ll be a bit unhappy.”

Xie Lan froze for a moment. “Then do you think there’s a possibility between you and her?”

This time Dou Sheng was silent for a long time.

Long enough for Xie Lan to think he wasn’t willing to face the question, before he whispered, “Personally, I feel there is a tiny bit of possibility, just that currently, not much possibility has been shown. But how should I put it… I think I’m quite likable too. Maybe one day, a sudden gust of wind will blow the clouds away. The person looks up at the moon, and finds the moon is also bending down to look at the person.”

Xie Lan was silent for a moment. “Speak human language.”

Dou Sheng said, “He will also fall deeply in love with me.”

Xie Lan: “…Oh. Good luck.”

For some reason, hearing Dou Sheng say he liked a celebrity, Xie Lan suddenly felt less agitated.

The key was that it was unrealistic. Dou Sheng, from head to toe, was just two big characters—Outrageous (Li Pu).

The breeze was gentle. Xie Lan closed his eyes and seemed to really fall asleep for a little while.

He was woken up by sudden shouting on the playground. When he opened his eyes, the light hadn’t changed much; he guessed he had only slept briefly for a few minutes.

Dou Sheng’s hand was still cushioning his head and hadn’t retracted, but Dou Sheng was already sitting up. Constrained by the hand Xie Lan was pillowing on, he didn’t sit up too straight, frowning at the basketball court.

On the basketball court, the boys from Class 12 and Liberal Arts Class 9 had started fighting. The game paused, and people from both classes were spitting fragrant words (cursing); the scene was quite magnificent.

The few who were playing were hitting and kicking, while the rest were pulling back their own classmates. Brother Cao was the main person being pulled. His two shoulders were held down and dragged back, but his lower body flew into the air, landing two kicks on the center from Liberal Arts Class 9; he couldn’t be held down.

Chen Ge was in there too, also being held down, but he didn’t struggle much, as if he were just a dominated tool, wishing to get his salary and get off work early.

Xie Lan stared blankly at the battle on the playground for a good while, then subconsciously turned to look at Dou Sheng.

Dou Sheng remained calm, seemingly having no intention of going up. Several boys from Class 4 were standing on the tree-lined path nearby; one of them was typing on his phone.

Before long, Wen Zisen trotted over bringing Hu Xiujie, followed by four security guards.

“Stop!”

“Stop! Hands off!”

“Squat down! Hands on heads!”

These shouts weren’t from Hu Xiujie, but the security guards. They used their batons to separate the crowd. The roar of adult men quickly quieted the field, and the ringleaders from Class 9 and Class 12 squatted down.

The guard shouted, “What are you doing! You are students! Fighting on campus—is there any law left?”

A girl shouted from the sidelines, “Be reasonable! Liberal Arts 9 played dirty!”

As soon as her voice fell, she was “booed” by a group of boys and girls from Class 9.

“Who played dirty exactly? Wanting to win so bad you don’t care about lives? Want to check the campus surveillance?”

“You science students really just lie with your eyes open.”

A girl from Liberal Arts Class 9 ran out to explain to Hu Xiujie. Hu Xiujie listened with a stern face, giving no response.

After a long time, Hu Xiujie pointed out a few people. The players from both classes, including the three or four boys who got physical just now, were all pointed out by her.

Naturally including Chen Ge.

A group of people followed Hu Xiujie loosely. Two guards followed them, while the other two guards yelled for the onlookers to disperse.

Xie Lan watched almost in a daze until Dou Sheng gently squeezed his wrist to bring him back to his senses.

Dou Sheng sighed. “Stop looking. High school is a stage where it’s easy to go astray. Even the best schools always have this kind of person and this kind of class.”

Xie Lan said blankly, “Isn’t Yinghua High a top-tier key high school?”

“Polarization is quite severe too.” Dou Sheng said indifferently, “In our city, the transition from elementary to middle school doesn’t rely entirely on scores; the school district plays a major role. Many who live nearby go straight to Yinghua Middle School. After finishing middle school, going straight to the high school division is easier than testing in from outside, so the source of students is a bit mixed. And it’s not entirely a question of student quality; basketball games are prone to conflicts anyway. Hu Xiujie has always advocated cancelling basketball games, which actually isn’t unreasonable.”

Xie Lan listened to the gist of it, but he saw clearly.

Facing Brother Cao’s gang, Hu Xiujie was much more silent than usual. Usually, she disciplined students like the King of Hell, but right now she was just business-like. Only when Chen Ge walked past her did she show some expression, shoving him resentfully.

Dou Sheng sighed lowly. “Not everyone can be saved. Everyone knows that in their hearts.”

---

Before evening self-study started, Dai You came over and whispered, “Finished. They’re going to get a demerit.”

Dou Sheng’s pen, solving a math problem, paused. He raised his eyes casually. “Everyone who fought gets one?”

“Not sure, but rumor has it the Political Education Office indeed opened a list. Should be quite a few.”

Che Ziming sighed heavily, anxious. “What to do then? Chen Ge is really f*cking unbelievable. Why mix with that scum gang? Does someone have something on him?”

Wang Gou also whispered, “I saw he wasn’t very active in fighting. If he gets a demerit, isn’t he a scapegoat?”

Xie Lan put down his pen. “What is a demerit?”

Dai You said, “Domestic students all have a file. A demerit is a bad record that follows you for life in your file. Further education and employment will be affected. If the punishment is severe, one might even be forced to repeat a grade.”

As soon as he finished speaking, the study bell rang. Everyone immediately returned to their seats, and Hu Xiujie pushed the door open and entered.

She stood on the podium with no expression, tapping the desk lightly to get everyone’s attention.

“Passing on a message for Old Ma. The arrangement for the Provincial Math Training Camp is out. Closed training for fourteen days during summer vacation, plus every Saturday starting now.” Hu Xiujie turned and wrote the time and location on the blackboard, glancing towards Xie Lan. “Xie Lan, stop your Saturday basic Chinese class. Teacher Qin said he’d recommend a few suitable extracurricular tutoring classes. Consider Saturday nights or Sunday.”

Since the teacher spoke to this extent, Xie Lan could only agree and said thank you.

According to routine, after giving instructions, Hu Xiujie should let everyone lower their heads for self-study.

But this time she didn’t move for a long time, standing there as if she had something to say.

The owls wrote a few strokes with heads down, then looked up at her.

There was a tacit silence in the class. The front and back doors were closed; in the enclosed space, there were only people from their own class.

Hu Xiujie sighed softly. “The basketball tournament starts officially soon. Our class follows the old rules: Buddhist-style competition. Don’t fight, don’t snatch, guarantee safety.”

The students nodded one after another.

She paused slightly and whispered, “Whoever is close to Chen Ge, persuade him a bit usually. Tell him not to go too far astray.”

Silence surrounded them. Hu Xiujie waved her hand to let them continue studying, then walked to the window to zone out.

Xie Lan lowered his head to calculate a difficult problem. When he looked up again, Hu Xiujie was still standing there. Whether it was an illusion or not, that figure seemed somewhat desolate, a stark contrast to her vigorous and fierce appearance during the day. After a while, Hu Xiujie turned her back to the class, looking at the grade list posted next to the blackboard.

Next to the blackboard in Class 4, the class rankings for every unified exam since the start of Grade 10 were posted. They weren’t torn down even after the class division. For example, Dou Sheng’s name topped the list, with a horizontal line drawn high-profile across the neatly pasted transcripts. For another example, in the first few exams of Grade 10, Chen Ge also firmly occupied second place, also with a high-profile horizontal line, except that line came to an abrupt halt halfway.

Hu Xiujie looked for a long time, then took her water cup and went out.

---

The next day, the punishment notice was posted. Behind the glass bulletin board, a document stamped with an official seal listed six names.

When Xie Lan followed Che Ziming and the others to look, his heart was in his throat. Only when he scanned everyone on that paper and didn’t see Chen Ge did he let out a long sigh of relief.

Dai You said thoughtfully, “At least eight or nine people got physical. Old Hu probably let off all those with minor involvement.”

Yu Fei frowned and glanced at the paper again. “Ridiculous. Fighting over a ball game; they should be expelled and be done with it.”

Although he said that, Xie Lan clearly felt everyone was relieved. On the way back, they finally swept away the gloom and started joking. Although Dou Sheng hadn’t said anything before, his mood clearly improved too.

Back at his seat, Xie Lan opened the planning notebook to discuss ideas for the next video with Dou Sheng.

He had two plans here. One was to try making study-related content, like opening an online math competition study room every Friday night. The other was his old trade, music-related. He wanted to go to the wildlife park during the May Day holiday, film the reactions of wild animals hearing music, and edit a small musical starring animals.

Che Ziming came to collect math homework. Without lifting his head, Xie Lan pulled the exercise sheet out from a stack of materials. Just as he was about to hand it over, his gaze suddenly froze.

He jerked the paper back violently.

Che Ziming stared wide-eyed: “I saw it! What is that pink thing!”

Xie Lan almost fainted. Fortunately, everyone around was making noise, so few people paid attention.

Only Dou Sheng almost choked on a mouthful of mineral water, then laughed low, laughing endlessly.

Xie Lan’s pupils quaked. trembling, he tore off that sticky note.

—Jin zhu zhe chi, jin ni zhe tian. (Near vermillion one gets red/stained; near you one gets sweet.)

He took a deep breath and grabbed Dou Sheng’s clothes. “Are you done yet?”

Fist hardened.

Che Ziming looked at Dou Sheng in shock. “Brother, what are you doing? Bullying the little returnee shouldn’t go this far; this is mental poisoning.”

“Scram.” Dou Sheng laughed, choking. “We’re joking, what’s it to you? Just collect your homework.”

Che Ziming rolled his eyes and took Xie Lan’s paper. “Like I care to manage. Burns my eyes.”

Once Che Ziming left, Xie Lan let go of Dou Sheng and speechlessly stuffed the sticky note into his pencil case.

“Your ears are a bit red.” Dou Sheng lowered his voice. “Honestly, as someone whose Chinese isn’t great, what is your real feeling seeing this kind of cheesy love line?”

Xie Lan stared at him. “Want to kill you.”

“Don’t like this kind? But I feel like the ones with subtle imagery and beautiful wording, like the sentence Feng Miao wrote, you can’t understand anyway.”

Dou Sheng tutted, then suddenly asked, “Then what kind do you like?”

As he spoke, he casually tore a piece of paper and fluently wrote two lines of English—

Whatever our souls are made of, yours and mine are the same.

“Like this?”

Xie Lan looked at those two lines and finally felt the world was a bit more normal.

But only a bit.

He said in confusion, “Why exactly do you want to do this?”

He hated himself more and more. If he hadn’t misunderstood Feng Miao’s sentence, maybe he wouldn’t have flipped a weird switch in a certain someone.

Dou Sheng pulled him to sit down. “I just want to understand, for someone with a chaotic Chinese system like you, what kind of words are romantic to you.”

Xie Lan scrunched up his face, contemplating for a full ten seconds.

He suddenly froze, glanced around sharply, then whispered, “The one you like, is it a foreign celebrity?”

Dou Sheng gave a hum. “Barely counts as one, I guess.”

“Low profile.” He immediately added, “Che Ziming and the others don’t know.”

Xie Lan looked at Dou Sheng with a sudden sympathy in his eyes.

More and more outrageous. Outrageous to the point of being heart-wrenching. The harder Dou Sheng prepared, the more heart-wrenching it was.

His heart was filled with mixed flavors. After a long time, he gently stroked Dou Sheng’s back.

“Don’t worry, I’ll help you think.”

Xie Lan poked at his phone, searching for a collection of cheesy love lines.

He paused and said, “I’ll find a few that feel okay. You can reference them?”

Dou Sheng nodded immediately. “Sure.”

Xie Lan tore a piece of paper and looked down from the first item.

“This one isn’t bad.” He found one, raised his hand, and copied it onto the paper shua shua shua—

[I am nine, you are three. Besides you, still you.] (Note: 9 divided by 3 is 3. In Chinese “besides” also means “division”. So 9/3=3. “Besides you, it’s still you.”)

The smile on Dou Sheng’s face suddenly froze.

He was a bit incredulous. “So you like this kind?”

Xie Lan gave a hum. “It counts as relatively good. At least it has some mathematical radiance, looks full of rationality, not cheesy.”

Question marks rarely seen floated across Dou Sheng’s handsome face.

Ignoring him, Xie Lan continued copying onto the paper—

[This is the back of my hand (shou bei), this is the back of my foot (jiao bei), you are my baby (bao bei).]

[“I want to buy a piece of land (di).” “What land?” “Your dead-set devotion (si xin ta di).”]

He spoke as he wrote, “I think these are all okay. What is this called? Homophones? Puns? Anyway, this kind. I think it reflects the beauty of Chinese quite well.”

Dou Sheng seemed to have solidified. After a good while, he murmured, “Then the one I used last time, ‘Don’t complain (bao yuan), hug me (bao wo)’, isn’t that this kind too?”

“Different.” Xie Lan shook his head firmly. “Yours was too perfunctory. If you want to go the clever route, go to the extreme. Or have a bit of rhythm. I think parallel sentences are quite good; Chinese parallel sentences have momentum.”

As he spoke, he saw a good one and read it while copying: “In my dreams there is you, sweet beyond compare; in my heart there is you, fulfilled beyond compare; by my side there is you, happy beyond compare.“

Dou Sheng opened his mouth several times, but couldn’t squeeze out a single word.

“Holy f*ck.”

Yu Fei, who was sleeping on the desk in front, suddenly turned over and muttered, “What sin did I, your father, commit? Sleeping during break and still getting struck by lightning.”

He took out earplugs in a breakdown and said, “You two just get together already. Stop plaguing the two pitiful people left in the world.”

__

Author’s Note:

The Keyboard Typer paced back and forth in the kitchen, annoyed.

Lazy Egg followed behind her, chanting incessantly: “Just listen to one more sentence, just one.”

Keyboard Typer: “I don’t want to listen anymore!”

“Just one sentence. I’m having a poetry battle with Bean Egg.”

Lazy Egg cleared its throat: “Ten miles of chicks are not as good as you; I hear you, I hear the joy of egg-kind.” (Parody of “Spring breeze ten miles is not as good as you”)

The Keyboard Typer was silent.

“Why don’t you guys switch to a different Keyboard Typer,” she suggested sincerely. “This Keyboard Typer is broken.”