Hu Xiujie’s footsteps scattered the gossip in the classroom.

Liu Yixuan, face flushed red, hid the gift under her stool. The night owls returned to their seats, and Xie Lan silently went back to his as well.

Physics early self-study was followed immediately by two physics classes with no break in between. Hu Xiujie stood guard alone, and no one dared to act out.

Near the end of class, Dou Sheng suddenly tossed over a small paper ball.

Xie Lan glanced at Hu Xiujie, who was writing on the blackboard, and silently unfolded it.

[What’s wrong? I felt like you weren’t too happy just now?]

Xie Lan struggled internally for a moment, sighed softly, and replied in his sprawling, unsightly handwriting.

[No, I just wanted you to see if I had a fever.]

The sound of someone sighing in relief came from beside him. While Hu Xiujie was still writing out a long formula, Dou Sheng suddenly reached over and placed a soft palm against his forehead.

Xie Lan stiffened. Before he could dodge, the hand pulled back.

Dou Sheng quickly scribbled two lines and tossed the paper back: [No fever. We’re heading to Yichang tonight, bring more clothes.]

Oh.

Xie Lan threw the paper ball into his desk drawer emotionlessly and continued listening to the lesson.

With a crush that had no future, where was the standing to take anger out on the other person? The logic was sound, yet he felt as if he could hear the ice of his emotions cracking apart.

Perhaps everyone has their own lemon to eat; the one who catches feelings has to endure the sourness alone to the very end.

---

After lunch, Liu Yixuan dragged everyone to the connecting corridor between the experimental building and the teaching building to film the Koi Dance.

She set up her camera, and Dou Sheng sponsored a camera angle as a friendly gesture. Taking advantage of the best sunlight, everyone immediately sprang into action.

Holding her phone, Liu Yixuan said, “According to the division of labor in the group chat, we’ll do the group dance first. Then Yu Fei and I, Xie Lan and Bean (Dou Sheng), and Crystal (Dong Shuijing) and Dai You will film the second verse in pairs. Finally, everyone will dance a solo take. Is that clear?”

Dai You raised his hand. “Question. My assignment says my solo scene is the outdoor stairs?”

Liu Yixuan hummed in agreement. “I chose two settings for the solo dances. Xie Lan, Yu Fei, and I are on the small playground; the other three are on the outdoor stairs. I’m in charge of filming here, and Bean is in charge of filming the stairs.”

“Got it,” Yu Fei smiled. “Let’s start.”

Liu Yixuan stood in the center position in front of the lens. “Remember, we won’t use many group shots in the final cut; most of it will rely on editing the separate cuts. So don’t be too stiff. Let’s just start recording. We’ll do five takes. It doesn’t matter if we aren’t synchronized at the start; we have to get moving to get in sync. Let’s aim to have usable footage for every person and every movement.”

With that, she turned on the music.

The warm, cute intro played, and everyone began to move in a scattered fashion. Liu Yixuan was professional and on point; the others looked like they were doing slapstick radio calisthenics—except for Xie Lan, who looked like he was doing emotionless radio calisthenics.

He clasped his hands under his neck, opening them while tilting his head to the same side. The head tilt happened to give him a view of Liu Yixuan’s side profile.

The girl in the JK uniform had her eyelashes lowered slightly. The hem of her light coffee-colored pleated skirt fluttered gently as she tiptoed and swayed her hips. Her fair skin glowed in the sunlight, her movements sweet and lively, carrying an invincible vitality unique to this age.

Xie Lan withdrew his gaze indifferently as the dance moves changed. His movements were mechanical, his mind having long since wandered off.

Liu Yixuan satisfied every trait Dou Sheng had mentioned. A person around him, a niche celebrity, someone with decent works. The violin part was probably a blurred clue—she actually played the bamboo flute.

She even shared the same hobby as Dou Sheng: JK uniforms.

Xie Lan circled his arms from above his head to the side, clasped them with his other hand, twisted his waist left and right, then propped his hands under his chin. While tilting his head, he hopped backward, pivoting on his foot and gently stepping to the beat while swaying his hips. The shameful movements made his hair stand on end. Thinking that Dou Sheng was probably behind him constantly stealing glances at Liu Yixuan just like him, he felt an awkwardness that left him at a loss.

The music grew warmer and more cheerful, and the people around him were getting into the zone, yet he felt a subtle trance.

Who am I? Where am I?

Why did I come back to this country again?

And for whom am I dancing here?

Save me.

Finishing the dance perfunctorily, Xie Lan’s face was red all the way down his neck. Feeling uncomfortable all over, he quickly ran to the side to drink water and cool down.

Liu Yixuan and the others gathered excitedly around the screen to watch the playback. Che Ziming, who had come to join the fun, was making noise pollution with his laughter the entire time.

“Everyone looks so happy, Dai You, why is your awkwardness so mystical? Herring (Yu Fei), your earnest, sweet look is actually f*cking killing me, hahahaha… Bean, you’re just a flirt!”

While there was laughter and joy over there, Xie Lan drank water alone. After a while, Che Ziming suddenly made a sound. “Lan-ah, what’s wrong with you? Why were you expressionless from start to finish? Did the Bilibili viewers short you on coins?”

Before he could finish, Liu Yixuan interrupted him. “I think it’s great like this. Everyone has different expressions; it shows ‘a thousand faces’ all at once. Xie Lan blushing while looking cold is so cute. Keep it up!”

Xie Lan looked up at her words, meeting her sweet, expectant gaze, and suddenly pulled a stiff smile.

Liu Yixuan’s expression went blank.

During the second take, Xie Lan maintained a “customer service smile” from beginning to end. Watching the playback, Che Ziming’s face wrinkled like a rag. “Do you know how creepy you look? Damn it, I beg you, stop smiling.”

Xie Lan looked at him coldly. “Mind your own business.”

“Huh?” Che Ziming’s eyes went empty for a second, looking aggrieved. “Lan-ah, you’re so mean today.”

Dai You laughed. “It’s fine, the more like this, the more entertainment value it has. But everyone needs to manage their eyelines. Xie Lan and Yu Fei, don’t keep looking at Liu Yixuan. Bean performed the best; he looked straight ahead the whole time.”

Straight ahead?

Hearing this, Xie Lan glanced at Dou Sheng, thinking this guy at least had some professional principles and didn’t frantically peek at Liu Yixuan during filming.

Dou Sheng looked at the screen with a smile in his eyes, as if reluctant to look away. After a while, he looked up and smiled at Xie Lan. “Our movements are so in sync; it’s practically telepathy.”

Xie Lan responded with a gloomy stare.

Is that so?

Dou Sheng seemed a bit confused by his look. His Adam’s apple bobbed, and he leaned in to whisper, “What’s wrong? I really feel like you’re acting weird today.”

Xie Lan kept a numb face and continued drinking water. “Bad weather. Mood is average.”

“The weather is bad today?” Dou Sheng was shocked, looking at the blue sky and white clouds outside the glass corridor. “Then what counts as good weather?”

Xie Lan only gave him a cold look, put down his water, and returned to his position.

Dou Sheng was stunned again.

Xie Lan felt even more annoyed inside—annoyed at his own extreme intelligence for figuring out Dou Sheng’s secret, and annoyed at that thread of emotion he couldn’t restrain. But in his annoyance, he forgot the embarrassment of dancing. They danced together five times, his state getting better and better. In the final take, his movements connected smoothly, every motion hitting the beat. In the playback, the boy in white shirt and black trousers looked clean and cold; amidst the warm and festive music, his awkward yet practiced proficiency was heartbreakingly cute. Dong Shuijing screamed that she was fainting from the cuteness.

Once the group dance was done, it was time for the pairs. Xie Lan and Dou Sheng were in a group.

Dou Sheng, with his long arms and legs, looked great in motion. When they reached the part mimicking a peacock—peeking the head to the side while hopping on one leg—he was swinging happily in the front. Suddenly turning his head, he was caught off guard by Xie Lan’s grim stare.

“…”

Dou Sheng’s foot slipped, and he twisted his ankle on the spot.

The crowd laughed until tears came out. Liu Yixuan collapsed into Dong Shuijing’s arms laughing and paused the music.

“You two, if you have a private grudge, solve it first!”

Dou Sheng sighed, shaking his ankle with a bit of grievance. “What are you doing? Don’t you know I have a constitution that’s easily frightened?”

Xie Lan silently withdrew his gaze. “Sorry, I was searching for a style that suits me.”

Che Ziming laughed while pounding the floor. “Underworld style? The 18th Level Ghost King Xie Lan! Hu Xiujie finally has a successor!”

On the second take, Xie Lan tried hard not to look at Dou Sheng, but his expression remained stern. In his peripheral vision, a certain someone was exaggerating every movement, as if deliberately trying to make him laugh. But the happier Dou Sheng acted, the more solidified the expression on Xie Lan’s face became. In the end, the footage showed an autistic boy who looked like he had been kidnapped and forced to perform.

“I definitely offended you today.” Dou Sheng sighed meaningfully while watching the playback. “I need to think this over.”

Xie Lan didn’t make a sound. He silently endured all the partner filming and finally temporarily escaped from Dou Sheng.

The sun was very strong on the small playground. Liu Yixuan chose her spot for a long time, finally selecting a tree-lined path. She set up the camera and recorded herself first, passing in one take. Then it was Yu Fei.

Yu Fei, who usually slumped around like he wanted to dissolve into the ground, was very cooperative this time. He danced earnestly once, and after watching the playback, felt he hadn’t done a move correctly and voluntarily asked to record it again.

Xie Lan stood not far away, watching Liu Yixuan operate the camera, and couldn’t help sighing again.

Actually, Liu Yixuan and Dou Sheng were quite suitable.

Classmates, both uploaders, both with sunny personalities.

Both had fair skin, both were Homo sapiens walking upright on two arms and two legs, one male and one female—suitable in both species and gender.

The cicadas were so loud; the noise made him a bit irritable.

“Xie Lan.” Liu Yixuan let Yu Fei rest and waved at him. “Your turn.”

Yu Fei stepped down, his usually pale young master complexion turned red under the scorching sun, holding a bottle of mineral water as he walked to the shade nearby.

Xie Lan stepped forward, watching Liu Yixuan adjust the lens, and suddenly asked out of nowhere, “Do you know who sent that gift yet?”

“Huh?” Liu Yixuan was startled, looking up from behind the camera. “It wasn’t you, was it?”

“…”

Xie Lan sighed. “No.”

Liu Yixuan asked, “Then do you know who it is?”

“I…”

A dark thought flashed through Xie Lan’s mind for a split second.

If he gave Liu Yixuan a hint right now, he could immediately know her reaction, and know if there was any possibility between her and Dou Sheng.

But doing so would undoubtedly ruin Dou Sheng’s own rhythm for confessing. He might accidentally destroy a romance just like that.

He fell silent for three seconds, then sighed softly. “I don’t know. Just gossiping with everyone, really wanted to know the truth.”

Liu Yixuan breathed a sigh of relief and whispered, “It scared me to death. Who gives such an expensive gift to a classmate? Alright, hurry over and dance, the light won’t be good in a moment.”

Xie Lan gave a hum of acknowledgment.

---

Perhaps because he hadn’t slept at noon and had danced under the scorching sun multiple times, Xie Lan didn’t feel very well all afternoon.

With the big holiday approaching, the whole class was a bit scattered. During the break, Dou Sheng and Liu Yixuan huddled together to discuss how to edit the video and split the scenes. Che Ziming and the others were frantically discussing travel plans. The train tickets were for 12:30 AM tonight, and everyone planned to meet at the station at 11:40 PM.

Xie Lan listened to them discuss the board games they would play during the long train ride, but he had no mood for it.

He really wanted to say a few words to Dou Sheng. Maybe he didn’t need to say “I liked you,” but just pull him aside and frankly say, “I figured it out, good luck.” Once those words were spoken, maybe he could get over this hurdle faster.

But after finally waiting until the break, Dou Sheng took a call for a delivery and went out, only coming back right before class started.

Xie Lan stood up listlessly to let him in. Before sitting down, Dou Sheng looked at him for a moment. “What exactly is wrong? Don’t tell me you’re not feeling well; you’re obviously in a bad mood.”

It was fine if he didn’t ask, but the moment he did, Xie Lan felt all his emotions converge toward one exit. He frowned, “Don’t ask.”

The class bell rang.

Dou Sheng whispered, “If you’re unhappy about something, you have to say it. With you like this, no one feels good.”

“I know, I know.” Xie Lan’s frown deepened. “Can you just stop bothering me?”

Those words seemed a bit too heavy.

Dou Sheng froze for a long time after hearing them. After a long while, he returned to his seat without saying another word.

A subtle barrier seemed to suddenly arise between the two, like a fishbone stuck in the throat—neither going up nor down, leaving one’s heart in a mess.

---

Little Ma (the teacher) entered holiday mode early, so after school, they took the bus home together.

Xie Lan sat by the window on the inside, Dou Sheng sat to his right. They were silent the whole way.

At past seven o’clock, the city lights were just coming on. The bus route was winding and eventually drove onto a cross-river bridge with many tunnels.

There were sixteen short deceleration tunnels on the bridge. As the vehicle drove on the bridge deck, the city neon lights outside the window reflected on the river surface. The light was plentiful, so the bus window only faintly reflected Xie Lan’s face close up. A moment later, the bus drove into a pitch-black tunnel. The dim lights inside the bus suddenly became more prominent, and Dou Sheng’s face appeared on the glass behind him.

The moment Dou Sheng’s reflection lit up on the glass, Xie Lan realized he had been watching him from behind the whole time, yet he hadn’t turned his head.

Darkness and light alternated constantly as the bus moved, and the reflections of him and Dou Sheng on the glass intertwined accordingly. The tunnels were short, but the bridge spans between tunnels were long. Most of the time, Xie Lan could only stare blankly at his own faint shadow superimposed over the streetscape. But during those rare tunnel moments, Dou Sheng’s face would flash briefly on the glass, and each time, he was quietly gazing at Xie Lan’s back.

The light jumped again and again. After an unknown number of times, Xie Lan suddenly had an indescribable feeling.

It felt like if he didn’t turn around during the next brief tunnel moment, he would miss the person staring from behind him.

After a long time, the bus finally drove off the river bridge. The scattered lights of the streetscape connected into a continuous stream, and he could no longer see Dou Sheng’s reflection.

When Xie Lan turned his head again, Dou Sheng had already withdrawn his gaze.

His heart seemed to suddenly empty out a piece—the kind that was very hard to fill.

---

Zhao Wenying wasn’t home tonight. After getting home, neither of them mentioned dinner, nor did they discuss packing luggage together. Xie Lan went straight back to his room. Dou Sheng signed for a giant package for Zhao Wenying and silently dragged the box into the storage room.

Xie Lan zoned out alone in his room for a while. For some reason, his mind kept replaying those two reflections on the bus.

He was squandering Dou Sheng’s gentleness and tolerance as a friend.

Maybe he really was sick. Just because of a few awkward physical contacts with Dou Sheng, he had developed thoughts he absolutely shouldn’t have. And even if Dou Sheng changed his nickname to “Dr. Bean,” it wouldn’t cure his illness. He could only heal himself.

After a long time, Xie Lan took a deep breath, intending to break the ice with Dou Sheng.

He walked to the door and opened it, just in time to hear the sound of the next room’s door opening. Dou Sheng came out almost simultaneously.

They met and both froze.

Xie Lan said, “I… getting water.”

Dou Sheng was silent for a moment. “I was looking for you.”

Xie Lan stood still, not knowing how to respond.

Even their natural way of interacting seemed to have become awkward due to the ghost in his heart.

Dou Sheng walked up to him, hesitating to speak several times, before finally clicking his tongue. “I thought about it carefully the whole way. The only possibility is…”

He seemed a bit anxious, stopping there and moving his neck.

After a long pause, he whispered, “You don’t think I sent that gift to Liu Yixuan, do you?”

Xie Lan was stunned.

He instinctively asked, “It wasn’t you?”

Dou Sheng’s eyes shifted slightly. The anxiety dissipated, replaced by some helplessness, but he couldn’t help but gently curl the corners of his mouth, carrying a bit of boyish smugness.

“Of course not. The one I like isn’t her, so why would I spend so much money sending her a gift? Besides, am I the kind of tacky bumpkin who confesses just by buying an expensive gift?”

Xie Lan didn’t know what kind of bumpkin a “tacky bumpkin” was.

But he suddenly felt his heartbeat speed up.

Inexplicably, he couldn’t describe his feeling at this moment. It was as if something was about to burst out, but in an instant, he felt it was just his own wishful thinking.

After a long time, he said flatly, “Someone around us, famous, niche, has decent works… who else could it be if not her?”

Dou Sheng didn’t say anything; he just looked at him.

After a while, Dou Sheng lifted his hand and placed it on Xie Lan’s head.

Xie Lan subconsciously wanted to dodge, but he held back, letting Dou Sheng ruffle his hair.

Dou Sheng asked in a low voice, “Written on the Wall at West Forest Temple, do you remember it?”

Xie Lan didn’t react immediately and instinctively asked, “What?”

“‘I do not know the true face of Mount Lu, simply because I am standing within the mountain.’ After all this time, you should understand this line, right?”

Dou Sheng’s tone was faint, somewhat gentle. He looked at Xie Lan’s stunned expression and gently hooked his lips again. “Properly make up the lessons I left for you long ago. If you really can’t figure it out, come ask me. I’ll teach you.”

Xie Lan stopped speaking. The blood in his entire body seemed to stop for a moment, and only after a long time did it begin to flow slowly, very slowly. Perhaps because the blood flow was too slow, a tingling sensation generated from his fingertips and crawled through his blood to his whole body.

His mind was very empty, as if wiped clean by something, leaving a hollow space where he didn’t know how to react.

It wasn’t that he didn’t understand at all; it was that he seemed to understand but also didn’t, and dared not be certain.

Just as he was about to say something, Dou Sheng’s phone suddenly rang.

Dou Sheng looked calm, but his fingertips trembled slightly. Xie Lan saw him intend to tap answer, but his finger accidentally hit the speakerphone button.

Yu Fei’s very depressed and speechless voice rang out.

“Bean, Xie Lan isn’t next to you, right? I have something to say to you alone.”

The surroundings fell into an awkward silence for a few seconds. Dou Sheng raised an eyebrow, “Uh…”

There was silence on the phone too, and then Yu Fei sighed heavily. Even through the phone, one could feel that exhaustion and despair.

“Fine, if he’s there, he’s there. I originally didn’t want more people to know about this embarrassing incident, but Lan isn’t a blabbermouth anyway.”

He took a deep breath, and said speechlessly, “Can you come to my house and save me? I don’t think I can leave the house smoothly. My dad wants to send me to a psychologist overnight.”

Xie Lan’s brain had long since stopped thinking. Hearing this, he was confused and instinctively spoke up, “Why??”

Yu Fei took a deep breath, another deep breath, and yet another deep breath.

Then he swore, and squeezed out words from between his teeth like a mosquito humming: “My dad opened a package and found the second set of Hanfu I planned to give to Croissant.”

What?

Xie Lan was struck by lightning: “Howe? Wha… What??”

Yu Fei sighed, his tone carrying a detachment that had seen through the suffering of the human world.

“He finally figured out why his son, who has everything he could want, has been depressed since childhood.”

“He thinks I have Gender Identity Disorder.”

---

Author’s Note:

Lazy Egg’s shell turned red as it arched its fingers tapping the keyboard.

Asking for help! It was so anxious it was smoking: “I do not know the true face of Mount Lu, simply because the egg is within the mountain!” What does this mean??

The keyboard typist leisurely picked up a teacup: I don’t know.

How can you not know! Lazy Egg jumped up and down: Such a simple poem!

The typist glanced at it and smiled: I don’t know, eh. I didn’t graduate from elementary school.