Ever since he could remember, Fan Jun had hardly ever cried.

When he was little, he didn’t dare to. The more he cried, the harder Fan Gang hit him. Gradually, he just stopped crying. Gritting his teeth and enduring it, if he could bear the bone-piercing physical pain, naturally, he could hold back his tears too.

In the days that followed, even amidst Uncle Lü and Aunt Li’s careful pampering and affection, he never cried again.

Perhaps it was because he never had a deep connection with anyone. Even among the people around him, aside from Aunt Li and Lü Ze when they were kids, he had hardly ever seen anyone else cry…

It was as if tears had completely vanished from his world.

Yet at this very moment, Zou Yang was crying silently on his shoulder.

Just like last time, Zou Yang, who always seemed to carry a bit of flamboyance, was incredibly quiet when he cried. He made almost no sound.

Even with his face buried in Fan Jun’s right shoulder, Fan Jun could only hear the faint sound of him sniffling.

He couldn’t see Zou Yang’s tears, but he could feel them.

Zou Yang’s nose was cold, and the eye sockets pressed against his shoulder were burning hot.

This time, the tears didn’t roll down Zou Yang’s face. Instead, they slid off Fan Jun’s shoulder and continuously, gently rolled across his chest.

He felt a bit at a loss. Crying and tears were completely alien to him. He didn’t know what he should say or do to comfort Zou Yang, who was crying so silently and restrictively.

His hands hovered by the sides of Zou Yang’s waist just like that. After a good while, he gently closed his arms, hugged Zou Yang, and gave him a few soft pats on the back.

The moment the first pat landed on Zou Yang’s back, the arms Zou Yang had wrapped around his shoulders tightened immediately, and he gave a hard sniffle.

Fan Jun didn’t move again, nor did he think anymore; he just kept gently patting Zou Yang’s back, one stroke at a time.

…The last time he performed such a comforting gesture, it was for Xiao Bai.

He had never shared such a quiet and mind-emptying reliance with anyone.

Maybe five minutes passed, maybe three. Zou Yang shifted, lifted his head, placed the tissue he was holding onto Fan Jun’s shoulder as a pad, and pressed his face back down.

After a while, he finally sighed softly. “My eyes hurt.”

“…From pressing them?” Fan Jun asked.

“I don’t know,” Zou Yang chuckled, his voice thick with a heavy nasal tone. “I also… don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“It’s fine,” Fan Jun said. “If you wanted to cry, you cried.”

“Thank you.” Zou Yang lifted his head.

Fan Jun wanted to say you’re welcome, but on second thought, he didn’t say anything, merely loosening the arms holding Zou Yang.

Zou Yang pulled a few tissues from the table, haphazardly wiped his own face a few times, and then wiped the tears off Fan Jun’s shoulder.

“Leave it, I’m going to take a shower in a bit anyway,” Fan Jun said.

“Go take your shower,” Zou Yang tossed the tissues into the trash can and turned toward the living room. “I’m fine now. Once that wave passed, I’m good.”

“Mm,” Fan Jun replied. He added a bit of sugar to the bowl on the counter and brought it out to the living room.

Zou Yang was hugging Da Hei, sitting on the rug in front of the sofa. Fan Jun set up the small table anyway, placed the ginger syrup and eggs on it, and then headed to the bathroom.

Da Hei was being very well-behaved right now, curled up in a ball on Zou Yang’s lap with its eyes closed, its paws rhythmically kneading the air.

Zou Yang picked up the bowl and first took two big gulps of the syrup. Fortunately, he hadn’t cried for long, so the syrup was still hot, carrying a slight spicy kick.

Two mouthfuls down, and his entire body warmed up, especially around his eye sockets. It gave him the illusion that he could still feel the temperature of Fan Jun’s skin.

Zou Yang set down the bowl. With one hand, he gently scratched Da Hei’s head, and with the other, he used a spoon to slowly cut the eggs in the bowl into smaller pieces.

He didn’t even know what he was actually crying about, but the pleasant sensation of physical and mental relaxation after crying was very comforting. He even started to feel drowsy.

By the time Fan Jun came out of the shower, Zou Yang had already polished off the entire bowl of ginger syrup eggs and was leaning against the sofa, spacing out.

“Here.” Fan Jun placed the glasses Zou Yang had left by the bathroom sink right next to his hand.

“I was wondering why I couldn’t see anything clearly,” Zou Yang picked up the glasses and put them on. “I thought my eyes were swollen from crying.”

“They are swollen,” Fan Jun placed his own bowl of ginger syrup eggs on the table, sat down, and started eating.

“I thought you weren’t cold just now,” Zou Yang glanced at his bowl.

“I wasn’t,” Fan Jun said. “I was hungry.”

Zou Yang chuckled.

“Want to see the photos?” Fan Jun looked at him. “If you do, I’ll project them for you.”

“Sure.” Zou Yang nodded.

Fan Jun got up, turned off the lights, drew the curtains, grabbed the remote from a nearby small shelf, and turned on the projector.

The photos were projected onto the opposite wall, automatically playing one by one.

The first one to appear was Liu Wenrui.

“Oh,” Zou Yang raised an eyebrow. “Brother Rui looks pretty decent here!”

“They all turned out quite well,” Fan Jun said as he ate. “Rongrong is good at taking pictures. They’re always taking photos and videos at their dance studio.”

“These guys usually look like their bones are stiff enough to snap, but these actually turned out somewhat interesting,” Zou Yang tutted twice. “Zhang Chuanlong even wanted to go shirtless. Good thing we didn’t listen to him. Covering up a bit with clothes actually gives it some vibe.”

“Mm.” Fan Jun smiled.

The roommates’ photos slid across the wall one by one. Although Zou Yang found it quite interesting to watch, but…

“Can you adjust the speed of this auto-play?” he asked Fan Jun.

Fan Jun didn’t say anything. He set down his spoon, tapped on his phone a few times, and directly opened the folder labeled “Fan & Zou.”

The photos of the two of them and Xiao Bai suddenly appeared right there on the wall.

Because it was projected so large, the image was full of visual impact.

“Holy shit,” Zou Yang pushed up his glasses, staring at the photo.

After a few photos with Xiao Bai, it was just pictures of him and Fan Jun. Amidst the play of light and shadow, the two of them were either standing or squatting. They looked… he couldn’t quite articulate it, but it felt very comfortable.

“I’m so handsome,” Zou Yang said.

Fan Jun was drinking his last mouthful of syrup. He held it in until he swallowed before bursting into laughter.

“What are you laughing at?” Zou Yang looked at him. “Am I not handsome?”

“You’re handsome,” Fan Jun looked back at him. “You really are very handsome.”

“Since I was little, the thing I’ve been most confident in is my looks,” Zou Yang said.

“Your brain works very well too,” Fan Jun said.

“That came later. My dad always… When I was little, I always thought I was really stupid,” Zou Yang said. “It was only when I got a bit older that I realized I was actually quite smart.”

“Your dad…” Fan Jun hesitated and didn’t finish the thought.

“Feel free to curse him out,” Zou Yang said, tapping his knuckles on the table. “Curse away.”

“He’s sick in the head,” Fan Jun said.

“Who knows, maybe he is,” Zou Yang curled his lip. “Having a son like me is his good luck.”

“Mm.” Fan Jun nodded.

Zou Yang didn’t speak again. He leaned against the sofa, watching the photos sliding across the wall one by one in rotation.

The final photo paused on the wall. It was a freeze-frame of him and Fan Jun simultaneously throwing a front kick towards the camera.

His phone pinged.

[Respect]: Are you still coming back to eat? Are you still coming back to sleep?

Note: “Respect” (瑞思拜 / Ruisibai) is Liu Wenrui’s chat handle, a phonetic translation of the English word.

Zou Yang chuckled and looked at Fan Jun. “What are you doing for food later?”

“Takeout,” Fan Jun said. “Why?”

“Don’t you need to head back to the old gym?” Zou Yang asked.

“I have a class at six-thirty,” Fan Jun looked at him. “Do you… want to eat takeout together?”

“Sure.” Zou Yang nodded.

“Claypot rice then,” Fan Jun took out his phone. “Manual Service Agent 003 recommends the pork belly with pickled mustard greens.”

“Okay,” Zou Yang smiled. As he replied to Liu Wenrui’s message, he asked, “Why Agent 003?”

[Zou yang]: Sleeping

“It’s our instructor numbers at the gym. Uncle Lü, Lü Ze, me. One, two, three,” Fan Jun smiled.

“Uncle Lü still takes on students?” Zou Yang was a bit surprised.

“He used to. He only started resting these past couple of years,” Fan Jun said.

[Respect]: What, Coach Yazi isn’t letting you stay the night?

[Zou yang]: Fuck off

Two portions of pork belly with pickled mustard greens. Fan Jun ceremoniously transferred them to proper plates and even cooked a pot of seaweed egg drop soup.

The takeout instantly took on the warm, cozy feel of a meal made in a home kitchen.

“Do you like cooking?” Zou Yang looked at the dishes and food on the table.

“Not really, and I’m not that good at it either,” Fan Jun brought two glass cups to the table and poured them each a glass of mango juice. “I mostly just feel… grounded doing it.”

Zou Yang nodded and didn’t say anything.

Grounded.

The feeling he had when leaning against the kitchen doorframe watching his mom cook was probably the same—grounded.

After eating, the two strolled back to the new gym. Zou Yang’s scooter was still parked near the mall’s back entrance.

“Are you really too booked with students’ classes right now?” Zou Yang asked.

“Really,” Fan Jun said. “Just focus on your exam prep for now. Once you’re done testing, I’ll schedule your classes, and their group classes too.”

“…Alright then,” Zou Yang straddled his scooter. “I’m leaving. Heading back to review.”

Thinking for a second, he looked at Fan Jun again. “Are my eyes still red?”

“Not red anymore,” Fan Jun inspected his eyes. “Neither your eyes nor your nose are red.”

“Then… I’m going,” Zou Yang started the scooter.

“Mm,” Fan Jun took a step back.

Zou Yang stared at the dashboard in a daze for a moment before twisting the throttle and driving off. “Bye-bye.”

“Bye-bye,” Fan Jun said.

Zou Yang quickly disappeared down the path ahead on his scooter. Fan Jun turned and walked into the mall.

Just as he was about to get on the escalator, he noticed that the milk tea shop had hung up a “For Transfer” sign.

He hesitated for a moment, then walked over.

The older girl was sitting at a small table in the shop, spacing out. Seeing him walk in, she asked, “What would you like to drink?”

“Recommend me something,” Fan Jun said.

“Fresh taro milk,” the girl stood up. “That’s my favorite.”

“Alright, three large cups,” Fan Jun nodded and scanned the QR code. “Are you… not running this shop anymore?”

“I still have to run it for now. Once someone takes over, I’ll stop,” the girl sighed as she made the milk tea. “Business isn’t even good on the weekends. It’s not enough to cover the rent.”

Fan Jun sighed as well, staying silent.

“I don’t know how long it’ll take to transfer it,” the girl said. “You’re a coach at Tenglong Martial Arts upstairs, right?”

“Mm,” Fan Jun nodded.

“It looks like your business is doing okay, though,” the girl said. “I’ll add some extra taro paste for you guys, since we’re neighbors and all.”

“No need, I don’t want you to lose money on it…” Fan Jun said.

“It’s fine, whatever I don’t sell gets thrown out anyway,” she smiled.

At this time, Tie Bang and Tan Ru were both eating takeout. Fan Jun placed the milk teas in front of them.

“Are we starting the farewell dinners already?” Tan Ru grabbed the milk tea and took two massive gulps. “Two months in advance?”

“Did Lü Ze tell you guys?” Fan Jun sat down at the table.

“He did,” Tie Bang said. “Finance is coming over next week to sort out the accounts. I don’t think we’ll make it to August. Did he say anything to you?”

“No,” Fan Jun drank his milk tea.

“Hey, seriously though, if they open another new gym, are you guys going to follow them?” Tan Ru asked.

“I probably will. If it’s similar to how it is now, it saves me the trouble of job hunting again,” Tie Bang sighed. “I’m used to it anyway, and I don’t want to change bosses. Even though Lü Ze is… well, the salary and benefits have always been delivered on time.”

“What about Fan-ge?” Tan Ru looked at Fan Jun.

“I still… don’t know,” Fan Jun smiled.

“I guess I’ll probably follow them too,” Tan Ru said. “Why don’t you just come along too? It’s more comfortable working with familiar people.”

Fan Jun didn’t speak.

Some things, if you didn’t bring them up or talk about them, didn’t feel quite so panic-inducing.

But the moment they materialized outside of his head, all the fear and confusion suddenly became sharply clear.

“One for the bedside, one for the wall, and everyone pick one more to put on the dorm’s photo wall…” Liu Wenrui organized as he looked at the photos on the computer screen. “Figure out the rest yourselves.”

“I’m going to make a photo wall with the rest of them and stick them by my bed and my desk,” Zhang Chuanlong stared at the screen, admiring his own heroic bearing.

“Just a friendly reminder,” Li Zhiyue leaned against his bed. “Don’t delude yourselves into thinking you actually look like you do in these photos.”

“The fact that we could even capture a moment that looks like this in a photo,” Liu Wenrui countered, “proves that this is what we look like… Are you done picking the photos? I’m buying the frames now, and we still need to get them printed.”

Zou Yang hadn’t participated in the discussion, just staring at his phone.

“Did you pick your photos yet?” Liu Wenrui plopped down on the edge of his bed, leaning back against his headboard and squeezing him further inside.

“I’ll skip it. Just pick one for me to put on the photo wall,” Zou Yang said.

“That’s why I told you that day you had to take some solo shots,” Liu Wenrui tutted. “Now look at you. You can’t put them by your bed, and it’s awkward to put them on your desk…”

“What’s awkward about it?” Zhang Chuanlong asked.

“They’re two-person shots! All of them are two-person shots!” Liu Wenrui slapped him on the back. “How on earth did you manage to get into the same major and the same dorm as us!”

“It proves you guys aren’t as awesome as you think you are,” Zhang Chuanlong replied.

“Fuck off!” the three of them yelled in unison.

[Zou yang]: They’re blowing up the photos and putting them in frames. Do you want yours done too? If so, I’ll have them do it together.

[Fan]: Okay.

[Zou yang]: Watch your attitude.

[Fan]: Frantically clapping.jpg

[Fan]: Okay.

Zou Yang laughed and nudged Liu Wenrui with his arm. “Pick a few of Fan Jun’s and have them blown up together.”

“There are no photos of Fan Jun,” Liu Wenrui said. “Only ‘Fan and Zou’.” (Note: Liu Wenrui jokingly pronounces “Fan and Zou” in heavily accented English).

Zou Yang turned to look at him. “…It’s a good thing you didn’t sign up for the oral test in the CET-4.”

“Just tell me if you understood it or not,” Liu Wenrui said.

Zou Yang ignored him and lowered his head to continue looking at his phone.

Liu Wenrui suddenly leaned over to peek at his phone. Zou Yang swiftly turned the screen away. “What are you doing.”

“Holy shit?” Liu Wenrui had seen it anyway. He turned to stare at him, asking in a low voice, “Is Fan Jun not working for Lü Ze anymore?”

“They aren’t planning to keep running the new gym over at Baishun,” Zou Yang also replied in a low voice. “And the old gym might be getting demolished soon… Fan Jun might have to look for a new job.”

“Why?” Liu Wenrui asked.

“Hm?” Zou Yang looked at him.

“Can’t he just keep following Lü Ze?” Liu Wenrui said. “It’s just moving to a different place anyway. No matter how annoying Lü Ze is, they’ve known each other for over a decade, right?”

Zou Yang didn’t say anything. Yeah, he’s right.

“Sure, money is hard to earn and shit is hard to eat, but if you can make money after eating shit, then just make the money for now. It’s just a transitional period,” Liu Wenrui reasoned. “Don’t you constantly go to your dad’s place to eat shit? You’ll have to keep eating it until you graduate and find a job…”

“Shut up!” Zou Yang frowned. Pausing for a second, he added, “Though I genuinely hadn’t thought about it from that angle…”

“Concern clouds judgment. It’s normal. Like that time you fell and got hurt. The clinic was right next to us, but I panicked so much I smeared a handful of mud on your wound first,” Liu Wenrui said. “Concern clouds judgment.”