Fan Jun turned on both the sink faucet and the showerhead in the bathroom, cranking them up to maximum.

Standing in front of the sink, he stared at himself in the mirror for a moment, then turned, grabbed a bucket, and placed it under the shower, adjusting the water to a concentrated stream.

The water falling from above smashed into the bucket, creating an even louder noise.

He returned to the sink, bent down to wash his face, and raised his head again to look into the mirror.

His eye sockets were a bit red, and bloodshot veins were visible in his eyes.

There were no tears.

Even immersed in such complicated emotions right now, he still couldn’t cry.

It had been like this for all these years.

No matter what kind of emotions he experienced—whether it was anger, fear, sadness, or joy, excitement, being moved…

All of his emotions were always just blocked up in his chest, unable to find an outlet.

In the end, they would only turn into an aggrieved, angry roar.

He slowly crouched down, grabbed a bath towel to cover his face, and buried his head fiercely into his arms.

“Ah—”

He couldn’t hear clearly.

He didn’t know exactly how loud he could roar, nor did he know how loud the water needed to be to cover up his sense of helplessness and suffocation.

He didn’t mind letting Zou Yang see him cry; he wanted Zou Yang to know his gratitude and how touched he was.

But he wasn’t willing to let Zou Yang discover that all of his emotions would ultimately, because of this helplessness and suffocation, transform into a single, monotonous syllable.

---

Zou Yang was still standing in the living room, looking toward the bathroom.

Besides the splashing sound of water, he couldn’t hear any other noise.

After waiting for a while, he took two steps toward the bathroom, hesitated for a few seconds, and then turned back to sit down on the sofa again.

Da Hei jumped over energetically. Just as Zou Yang reached out to pet it, Da Hei made a nimble leap, bounded onto the back of the sofa, dashed back and forth crazily twice, and finally kicked off his head to speed away.

“Are you crazy?” He was speechless.

They say pets take after their owners. With a personality like Fan Jun’s, how did he raise a cat to act like this?

He glanced toward the bathroom again; the water was still running.

He didn’t expect that a perfectly timed midnight birthday wish would cause such a huge reaction from Fan Jun.

He sighed softly.

Someone who had almost never officially celebrated his own birthday.

Zou Yang twirled his phone a couple of times.

The screen lit up as he twirled it. The notification bar showed unread WeChat messages. They were probably from Liu Wenrui; the two of them had been halfway through a conversation earlier…

Zou Yang tossed the phone back onto the small table.

[Respect]: You heartless thing, you’re really not coming back to sleep, huh?
[Zou yang]: Yeah.
[Zou yang]: Tomorrow morning, you guys pick up the cake and come straight over.
[Respect]: What exactly are you two doing? There’s definitely something going on with you two.
[Respect]: Speak, don’t play dead.
[Respect]: If you don’t speak, I’m cutting ties.
[Respect]: Ties cut.
[Respect]: Hi, nice to meet you.
[Zou yang]: I might actually have a situation.
[Respect]: What’s wrong? Tell me, even if I can’t help, at least I can hear some gossip.
[Zou yang]: Do you remember what you said about me in middle school?
[Respect]: ? Said what about you?
[Respect]: Am I some kind of search engine?????
[Respect]: Fine, at least give me a keyword.
[Zou yang]: The homeroom class about puppy love.
[Respect]: ? What the hell.
[Respect]: Holy crap, I remember.

When they chatted up to this point, it was twenty minutes to midnight, but Zou Yang had lost the courage to read Liu Wenrui’s next replies. He backed out of the chat window and quietly waited for Fan Jun’s birthday to arrive.

Up until now, he still hadn’t read the seven or eight subsequent messages Liu Wenrui had sent.

Although Liu Wenrui seemed unreliable usually, he was actually quite smart—otherwise, they wouldn’t have been friends for over ten years. Zou Yang knew he could definitely guess something.

He didn’t dare to open the following messages.

He was afraid ‘Respect’ had guessed it, and also afraid that ‘Respect’ hadn’t guessed it.

---

The sound of running water in the bathroom finally stopped, and the room became very quiet.

Zou Yang stood up.

The bathroom door opened, and Fan Jun walked out. Seeing him, Fan Jun froze for a moment: “Have you been standing here this whole time?”

“…No,” Zou Yang looked down at his own legs, making sure he wasn’t standing on both feet. “I heard… I figured… I just stood up.”

“I’m fine.” Fan Jun walked over and turned on the living room light.

Everything in the room became clear. Zou Yang could also clearly see Fan Jun’s face: the tips of his hair were wet, his face looked refreshed, his eye sockets weren’t red, and his eyes weren’t swollen…

He had thought Fan Jun went in to cry, but it seemed he hadn’t.

Or maybe he just looked this delicate even when crying… It wasn’t impossible; after all, the guy even had a natural body scent…

“Are you hungry?” Fan Jun rubbed his own stomach.

“Who are you asking?” Zou Yang looked at him.

“Asking you, and asking my stomach,” Fan Jun said.

Zou Yang started laughing and rubbed his own stomach as well: “Extremely hungry. I’ve been holding out since that noon meal until now…”

“I forgot to tell you there are snacks in that small cabinet,” Fan Jun walked to the window, lifted the curtain, and looked outside. “Let’s go… get something to eat.”

Zou Yang was taken aback: “Go out to eat…?”

“Mm.” Fan Jun nodded firmly while looking out the window.

At 12:30 AM, Nanzhouping was dead silent. In the residential buildings, few lights were still on, and even the streetlights looked as if they were about to fall asleep.

As Fan Jun pushed him out of the hallway in the wheelchair, a night breeze carrying a hint of coolness swept past. Zou Yang stretched comfortably.

“Are you sleepy?” Fan Jun looked down and asked him.

“Not sleepy. I slept until almost six, woke up hungry once,” Zou Yang leaned comfortably against the wheelchair and yawned, “and then fell asleep again around eight…”

“When you woke up hungry,” Fan Jun sighed, “why didn’t you go out to get something to eat? Going back to school would also…”

Probably realizing that Zou Yang clearly had no intention of going back to school, he didn’t finish his sentence.

“Was chatting with Liu Wenrui…” Halfway through his sentence, Zou Yang remembered the content of his chat with Liu Wenrui and those unread messages on his phone. His heartbeat skipped a gear for a few seconds, and he instantly forgot whatever he wanted to say next.

At this hour in other places, finding food wouldn’t be hard, but the desolate Nanzhouping had a generation gap compared to other places. They had to go to the bar street and the “Make a Friend” billiards hall area to find food.

Fan Jun had pushed him for just a few minutes when Zou Yang suddenly remembered something. He looked up and noticed that Fan Jun hadn’t worn a hat out.

“You didn’t wear your hat?” Zou Yang asked.

“Yeah, not wearing it anymore,” Fan Jun said.

Fan Jun usually only took off his hat in places with no strangers around. Normally, he’d even use his hat to cover his face while sleeping at the martial arts gym. Even though it was night right now, the bar street area at night was a mixed bag of sketchy people, and the streetlights weren’t dozing off either. And he wasn’t wearing it?

“Why?” Zou Yang still couldn’t resist asking.

“It flattens my hairstyle,” Fan Jun said.

“Bullshit, with your hair length, it looks the same whether it’s flattened or not,” Zou Yang blurted without thinking.

Fan Jun ruffled his hair and laughed.

Zou Yang didn’t say anything else. He felt he could roughly guess why.

After a while, Fan Jun lowered his head and said softly: “If he really does come looking, I hope he can… recognize me at a glance, and find me directly.”

Zou Yang’s hand, gripping the armrest of the wheelchair, suddenly tightened. This was different from what he had guessed.

Recognize me at a glance, and find me directly.

“Fan Jun.” He tilted his head up to look at Fan Jun.

“Hmm?” Fan Jun responded.

He can’t hurt anyone, it doesn’t matter who he finds first…

Such a statement held no weight. After all, Fan Gang was a suspect in a serious criminal case, a brutal desperado.

After speaking, Zou Yang realized he couldn’t find the right words to comfort Fan Jun.

In this kind of situation, if you couldn’t find a reason to refute him within ten seconds, it was better not to speak anymore; it would just sound too stiff.

So he didn’t say anything else.

“Thank you.” Fan Jun reached out and lightly ruffled the top of his head.

“Don’t mention it,” Zou Yang sighed.

---

There were still some pedestrians on the bar street, and occasionally they could spot a few strangely shaped drunks.

Of course, a person sitting in a wheelchair being pushed over here wasn’t exactly un-strange either.

“Do you want a big meal or just something casual?” Fan Jun asked.

“We’re having a big meal tomorrow, just a quick bite to tide us over is fine,” Zou Yang said. “I’m afraid that when Champion Lu finishes running around the new venue and looks back to find his star coach has gained ten pounds, he’ll come looking for me to cause trouble.”

“Mm,” Fan Jun said with a smile. “Then let’s go to that seafood fried rice place up ahead, it’s pretty good.”

“Okay,” Zou Yang nodded.

This snack shop had quite a few people. Fan Jun settled him at a small table near the entrance, then went inside the shop.

To be honest, Fan Jun was quite handsome without his hat. Although he was also handsome with it, when Fan Jun exposed his entire face and forehead, he carried a certain aura that was hard to define—whether it was cool, arrogant, or purely murderous.

However, watching him just walk into a shop with at least a dozen people standing or sitting, passing through their intentional or unintentional gazes, Zou Yang felt a bit uncomfortable again.

He looked at Fan Jun’s back and unconsciously pulled out his phone. He glanced down, and just as he wanted to look away, he had already taken in all the messages sent by ‘Respect’ on the chat interface.

Damn his Chinese Language and Literature major reading comprehension skills.

[Was it that time when you said you didn’t have any girls you liked?]
[Holy crap, was it the sentence where I said you might like guys?]
[Hey! Are you dead! Is it?!]
[Fuck, is it true?! Reply, if you don’t reply I’m calling you!]
[Zou Yang, this is how you treat me! You just wait!]
[Holy crap, no way? Fan Jun?]
[Is it what I think it means?]
[Dog! Zou Dog! Are you going to let me sleep or not! How am I supposed to sleep tonight!]
[Fine.]
[Fine fine fine.]
[You two go sleep.]

Zou Yang’s hands were shaking a little as he stuffed the phone back into his pocket.

When Fan Jun came over and sat next to him, he stared at him: “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Zou Yang shook his head.

“Not feeling well?” Fan Jun asked.

“Do I look like I’m not feeling well?” Zou Yang looked at him.

“…Mm,” Fan Jun stared at him seriously again, then nodded. “Mm.”

“Just hungry,” Zou Yang smiled. “I get panicky when I’m hungry.”

“Wait a sec.” Fan Jun got up and went into the shop again. He picked up two skewers from a table and came back out.

Zou Yang stared at him in shock.

There were two men and a woman sitting at that table, currently eating.

Robbing them in broad daylight?

Is this what happens when he doesn’t wear a hat?

“Here,” Fan Jun sat down and handed him the skewers. “Have a bite to tide you over first.”

“What’s going on?” Zou Yang didn’t even dare to take them.

“Big-Head Fish’s older brother.” Fan Jun said.

“…Oh.” Zou Yang breathed a sigh of relief and took the skewers.

“Do you want…” Fan Jun hesitated, “…something to drink?”

“Beer?” Zou Yang asked.

“Up to you,” Fan Jun said.

Zou Yang suddenly felt a bit unable to answer.

For some inexplicable reason, drinking at this moment… felt like it was leading toward some drunken indiscretion. Although he could swear on his plastered leg that he wasn’t thinking that, he still felt conflicted, wondering if Fan Jun would think he was thinking that…

“Can your leg handle drinking right now?” Fan Jun asked.

Zou Yang looked at him, hesitated for a moment: “Probably.”

“Then beer it is,” Fan Jun said.

“Okay.” Zou Yang exhaled in relief.

---

After finishing the skewers, their seafood fried rice still wasn’t ready, so the two of them blankly stared together at the four bottles of beer on the table.

After staring blankly for a while, suddenly two large plates of seafood fried rice were slammed down in front of them with a clang.

“Ah, fuck.” Zou Yang jumped in fright, jerking backwards and almost tweaking his left leg.

Fan Jun was obviously startled too, but his reaction was different from Zou Yang’s.

Zou Yang noticed that he hardly moved his body, but his hand had already gripped the edge of the table. If necessary, he could flip the table directly onto the person in the very next second.

Fortunately, the person spoke up in the next second.

“It’s one thing that you can’t hear,” a man standing by the table said, “how come he can’t hear either!”

“Thanks,” Fan Jun smiled and let go of the edge of the table.

Zou Yang looked up. This person was probably Big-Head Fish’s brother; they looked quite similar…

“I fell asleep,” Zou Yang said.

“Sleep after you finish eating,” Brother Yu said as he walked back. “It won’t taste good if it gets cold.”

Zou Yang glanced at Fan Jun, and Fan Jun was looking right back at him.

“Damn, scared me,” Zou Yang said with a laugh.

Fan Jun didn’t say anything. He leaned back against his chair and started laughing too.

The seafood fried rice was decent, with plenty of ingredients. Zou Yang ate happily. Washing down a huge plate of fried rice with beer, he finished it in no time, even picking the plate clean of every grain of rice at the bottom.

“…Want to eat anything else?” Fan Jun looked at his plate.

“No, no,” Zou Yang quickly waved his hand. “As long as something isn’t too terrible, I have a habit of eating it clean.”

“Mm.” Fan Jun then lowered his head and finished off the remaining scraps of rice on his own plate too.

---

On the way back, perhaps because there were even fewer people on the street than before, the moonlight seemed to grow brighter.

Zou Yang kept his head tilted back, looking up at the night sky, feeling slightly dizzy.

It felt like he had been drinking.

Oh, he had been drinking.

…But it was only two bottles of beer. With his tolerance, theoretically, he shouldn’t have reached this state.

They didn’t talk much along the way. There were no cars left on the streets, so Fan Jun pushed the wheelchair along the road, which was much smoother than the sidewalk.

Zou Yang just kept his head tilted back like that, looking at the moon, and at Fan Jun’s chin.

His head actually couldn’t rest on the back of the wheelchair. Tilting it back made his neck a little sore, but he didn’t move the entire time.

Finally, Fan Jun reached out and supported the back of his head: “Don’t strain your neck.”

Zou Yang smiled but didn’t say anything, rolling his neck a bit: “It’s fine.”

---

By the time they got back to Fan Jun’s place, it was almost past 2 AM.

“In the morning… what time are they coming over?” Fan Jun asked.

“Around ten, I guess,” Zou Yang took out his phone, then put it back. “They’ll call me before they come.”

“Mm,” Fan Jun hesitated a bit. “Are there… any plans?”

“Secret,” Zou Yang said. “It’s just the standard routine, nothing too special. We didn’t have enough time, otherwise we definitely would have…”

“No need,” Fan Jun said. “Standard is fine, no need to make it too complicated.”

“Next year, then,” Zou Yang leaned against the sofa and thought about it. “Next year we’ll prepare a bit earlier, avoid finals week.”

“Next year…” Fan Jun looked at him.

“What,” Zou Yang raised an eyebrow, “are you not celebrating it with me next year?”

After saying that, he quickly took off his glasses, grabbed a tissue, and casually wiped them.

“No,” Fan Jun smiled, then let out a soft sigh. “Next year we definitely won’t be here.”

“It’s the same anywhere,” Zou Yang lowered his head and continued wiping his glasses. “Wherever you are, I’ll be there.”

“Mm.” Fan Jun nodded.

At that moment, the phone pinged.

Zou Yang didn’t move. He guessed it was still Liu Wenrui; the guy probably hadn’t slept and was guarding his phone.

“Aren’t you going to look?” Fan Jun asked. “At this hour.”

At this hour, it really did seem like an emergency.

Zou Yang had no choice but to take out his phone and glance at it.

[Respect]: Let me tell you, I still haven’t slept, you conscience-less thing.

“It’s Liu Wenrui,” Zou Yang said while quickly typing a reply.

“Is it because you… didn’t go back to the dorm?” Fan Jun asked.

“…Yeah.” Zou Yang replied.

[Zou yang]: I’ll tell you the details when we meet.
[Respect]: You said it. If you don’t tell me the details, I’ll go ask Fan Jun.

Zou Yang felt his eyelid twitch, and he subconsciously glanced over at Fan Jun.

“Hmm?” Fan Jun was also looking at him.

[Zou yang]: Go die, go to sleep!

“Go to sleep!” After he said it out loud, he froze for a moment, then quickly cleared his throat. “It’s nothing.”

“Then are you…” Fan Jun cleared his throat as well, “…sleeping in my room?”

“I’ll just sleep on the sofa.” Zou Yang quickly flopped straight down onto the sofa.

“Do you want to wash…” Fan Jun stopped halfway.

Zou Yang could only remain silent.

Take a shower? How am I supposed to shower, do you have a stepladder?

Fan Jun didn’t say anything further either. He reached out to turn off the living room light and walked swiftly toward his room.

When he reached the door, he added one more sentence: “Good night.”

“Good night,” Zou Yang said. “Happy birthday.”