Why do you like me?
Why do I like you?
Why does Zou Yang like Fan Jun?

Zou Yang didn’t know if the “why” Fan Jun asked meant this, but he turned it over in his mind, thought of many whys, and finally found that the only “why” he wanted to answer was this one.

Zou Yang could hear the sound of his own brain spinning, buzzing, with some messy background noises: downstairs, someone was calling their child home for dinner; outside the window, the clanking of someone stir-frying; Da Hei noisily chasing a toy mouse…

But it was very quiet all around, so quiet that he could hear Fan Jun’s very light breathing, and the sound of water droplets sliding down the beer can… In this moment, these sounds seemed to exist only in his buzzing head.

Actually, from the moment Fan Jun asked this question, he had already thought of the answer.
No matter which “why” Fan Jun was asking, he only wanted to answer this one.
Even though he didn’t really know how to answer it.

“How can this be explained clearly? Back then, the bright moon was there, having once shone upon the returning colorful clouds…” Zou Yang spoke in a low voice, looking at Fan Jun’s fingertips still pinching the can, which had turned somewhat pale. “I don’t even know… when I started liking you. How could I clearly explain why I like you…”

Fan Jun picked up the can, tilted his head back, and took a sip without speaking.
When he put the can back on the table, he seemed to misjudge his strength, making a clank sound.
Da Hei, who was passing by the table, jumped in place.

“I just feel,” Zou Yang also picked up his can of beer, but didn’t drink, just tapping his fingertip lightly against the can over and over, “Being with you is very… reassuring, very comfortable. We can just sit blankly for a long time without saying anything and it’s not boring…”

While saying these words, Zou Yang didn’t even dare look at Fan Jun’s face, just staring at his own hands, and Da Hei’s tail in his peripheral vision.

But he knew Fan Jun had already finished a can of beer, and similarly hadn’t looked his way.
He could hear it, feel it, but lacked the courage to see it.

“Eat…” Fan Jun finally broke the silence, picking up his chopsticks to place a piece of pig’s trotter into Zou Yang’s bowl. “The pig’s trotter.”
“Mm,” Zou Yang responded, but didn’t move.

Any movement right now would release the tension he was holding in; he couldn’t even take a deep breath.

Fan Jun grabbed another can of beer. He wiped it and was just about to open it when Zou Yang gritted his teeth and turned to look at him: “What about you?”

Fan Jun instantly froze in place, his finger hooking the pull tab.

The distance between them was very close right now. After turning his head, Zou Yang could clearly see Fan Jun’s slightly trembling eyelashes, and could even perceive his breathing and heartbeat.

Fan Jun gently took a breath, and also turned his face to look at him: “…Hmm?”

Zou Yang didn’t make a sound, waiting in silence.

Fan Jun spoke slowly: “You’re very…”
“Other than the fact that I’m very handsome,” Zou Yang interjected quickly.

“…Alright,” Fan Jun smiled. After a while, he spoke again, “You are the kind of person I have never met before, very wonderful, smart…”

“Can recite poetry and stuff,” Zou Yang said. “Not everyone who knows my strengths will necessarily…”
“Are you going to let me finish?” Fan Jun asked with a smile.

“Mm.” Zou Yang felt a bit embarrassed, not knowing what he was rushing for.

“Actually, it’s also… hard to explain clearly, I only know…” Fan Jun spoke very seriously, his voice trembling slightly. “Maybe there are other things, I… can’t explain clearly, but when I said I was fine… you were probably the only person who didn’t believe me.”

Zou Yang was stunned.
He hadn’t anticipated this answer.

Fan Jun didn’t say anything more. He took his beer can, lightly clinked it against the one in front of Zou Yang, tilted his head back, and took a drink.

Zou Yang also picked up his can and took two big gulps.
He lowered his head, picked up that piece of pig’s trotter, and stuffed it into his mouth.

“Is it good?” Fan Jun asked. “I’ve never bought from that shop before.”
“A bit salty,” Zou Yang mumbled indistinctly while chewing. “But good is still good.”

“How do you usually eat when you’re home alone?” Fan Jun looked at him.
“Takeout,” Zou Yang swallowed the pig’s trotter, wiped his mouth, and sighed softly. “I’ve almost eaten all the takeout options near my place.”

“Do you want me… to teach you? Simple stuff,” Fan Jun asked.
“Can’t you just make it for me? I’ll eat here after class,” Zou Yang said.

Fan Jun went silent.

Zou Yang glanced at him, knowing his words sounded a bit too presumptuous, but he just wanted to say them. If Fan Jun refused, that was another matter.

“You can’t take classes every single day either,” Fan Jun said. “Your body won’t have time to recover. Are you going to compete in a match or something?”
Zou Yang started laughing: “Aren’t we having classes every day right now?”

“Are you doing rehab every day?” Fan Jun said. “Starting next week, I’m going to kick you.”
Zou Yang clicked his tongue.

“But, if you don’t book a class… I’ll have time on my days off too…” Fan Jun struggled slightly to get the words out. Halfway through, he even grabbed a chicken skeleton and started gnawing on it. “Just…”
“I can come over specifically to eat, right?” Zou Yang said.

“…Mm.” Fan Jun nodded.

“You’re not afraid of me being in danger anymore?” Zou Yang asked.

*Ah… Zou Yang…
Can your brain not get muddled so easily…
Why bring up Fan Gang at a time like this!*

“I am,” Fan Jun said. “But I think I probably… can’t stop you. It’s better to know when you’ll be here, and where you are.”

Hearing this sentence in this subtle atmosphere, Zou Yang only felt his heart soften.

“I’m not exactly a frail scholar like Li Zhiyue who’d fall over at a touch, either,” he said.

Fan Jun started laughing. He looked at him, seemingly wanting to say something, but in the end, he didn’t.

Zou Yang could guess what he wanted to say. Even if Fan Gang was over fifty, he wasn’t exactly an old man. An ordinary person really wouldn’t necessarily be a match for a lunatic who likely had a murder on his hands.

“The police are already hunting him,” Fan Jun stared at the chicken skeleton in his hand. “He won’t be able to run for much longer.”
“Mm.” Zou Yang nodded.

“I forgot to cook some rice,” Fan Jun said suddenly.
“We just won’t eat it,” Zou Yang leaned against the sofa, also grabbing a chicken skeleton to gnaw on.

“Those steamed dumplings, do you want to eat them?” Fan Jun asked.
“Let’s not. That shop doesn’t do delivery, are you going to run out to buy them?” Zou Yang said.

“I have some… leftovers from my breakfast,” Fan Jun said.

Zou Yang couldn’t help but laugh out loud: “Do you have to be so specific?”
“If I don’t, you’ll ask anyway,” Fan Jun said with a smile. “Where’d they come from, breakfast leftovers… You want them? I’ll heat them up for you.”

“Did you take a bite and leave half?” Zou Yang asked.
“Am I crazy? Not even Xiao Bai eats like that,” Fan Jun said.

“Then I’ll eat them.” Zou Yang nodded.

Fan Jun brought an egg steamer over to the small table, took the steamed dumplings from the fridge and arranged them neatly on the steaming tray. Then he felt around on the floor, found a floor outlet, and plugged it in.

“Why steam them here?” Zou Yang asked.
“When it starts steaming in a bit, it’ll give the illusion of eating hot pot,” Fan Jun said.

“This whole table of meat can’t satisfy you, you’re still thinking about hot pot,” Zou Yang said.
“For the atmosphere,” Fan Jun smiled.

“This counts as one of the reasons, right,” Zou Yang looked at him.
“What?” Fan Jun was slightly taken aback.

“Why I… like you,” Zou Yang said.

Perhaps because of the previous build-up, saying these three words “I like you” felt much smoother this time, without so much awkwardness and probing.

I like you.
I like you.
I like you.
I like Fan Jun.

Fan Jun didn’t speak. He picked up the lid of the egg steamer, looked at the dumplings inside, and then put it back on.

“It’s a transparent lid, did you really need to pick it up to look inside?” Zou Yang said.
Fan Jun closed his eyes, then turned his head to look at him: “Did you do that on purpose?”

“Mm,” Zou Yang nodded with a smile.

Fan Jun clicked his tongue and sat back down.

The steamed dumplings heated up quickly. Zou Yang originally thought he’d be fine without carbs, but smelling the aroma of the dumplings, he suddenly felt very hungry.

“This steamed dumpling shop definitely can’t go out of business,” Zou Yang opened the lid and picked up two into his own bowl. “I ordered steamed dumplings for delivery three times the past few days, and none of them were good.”
“That dumpling shop is also within the demolition boundary,” Fan Jun said. “It’ll be gone sooner or later.”

Zou Yang sighed: “I saw the milk tea shop on the first floor of the mall is gone?”
“Mm, they mentioned before they couldn’t hold on anymore,” Fan Jun said.

“Is the mall getting demolished?” Zou Yang asked.
“No,” Fan Jun thought for a moment. “Maybe after the demolition, the mall area will pick up.”

“You won’t be living here by then,” Zou Yang looked out the window. “Will you have to rent a place near the new venue later?”
“Lu Ze has already rented an apartment…” Fan Jun said.

“Are you going to live with him?” Zou Yang immediately sat up straight.
“No, no, no,” Fan Jun said hurriedly. “I mean he’s already rented an apartment, so I asked him to help me ask around and see if there are any suitable places…”

“Oh.” Zou Yang responded, inexplicably feeling the sudden urge to blush. He quickly opened the egg steamer again to grab a dumpling, using the steam for cover.

Because they were drinking, the two of them took a long time with this meal. Perhaps to ease the awkwardness, Fan Jun turned on the projector and put on a movie.

For the most part, they didn’t really talk, but they didn’t pay much attention to the movie either. They just ate quietly, occasionally clinking cans. By the time the movie finished, Zou Yang had no idea what it was about.

Fan Jun cleared the bowls and went into the kitchen. Zou Yang was no longer a cripple, so he got up, folded away the small table, and followed him into the kitchen.

Fan Jun was looking down, washing the dishes with swift, efficient movements.

Zou Yang stared at his back for a moment, then gritted his teeth, turned around, and went back to the living room, afraid that if he lingered there for one second longer, he would go over and hug Fan Jun.

“I’m going to walk the dog,” Fan Jun came out of the kitchen after finishing the dishes. “You…”
“Okay, I’ll go too,” Zou Yang stood up.

“I mean…” Fan Jun hesitated for a moment. “Let’s go, together.”

It was just past ten o’clock, and the surroundings were already very quiet. There were no pedestrians, only the occasional sound of laughter or angry shouts at children coming from the rows of lit windows.

Zou Yang walked side by side with Fan Jun toward the old gym.

They usually walked like this.

But today, for some reason, Zou Yang’s arm kept brushing against Fan Jun’s arm… Maybe it usually brushed against it too, and he just hadn’t noticed.

But it was also possible that today, he was closer to Fan Jun than usual.

“Where are we walking the dog?” Zou Yang asked.
“Over by the mall, it’s brighter,” Fan Jun no longer avoided his fear. “I can clearly see if there’s anyone around. It’s too dark here, and I can neither see nor hear clearly.”

“You have me,” Zou Yang said.
“If…” Fan Jun turned to look at him. “If something really happens, you have to run.”

“That’s so disloyal,” Zou Yang curled his lips.
“You run,” Fan Jun repeated again. “Did you hear me?”

“Yeah, I heard you. I’ll run, run, run, run,” Zou Yang said. “And then call the police.”
“Mm,” Fan Jun nodded.

Zou Yang felt a bit touched, but also a bit sad.

The next time his arm brushed against Fan Jun’s, he quickly grabbed Fan Jun’s hand.

Fan Jun subconsciously recoiled slightly, but didn’t pull away. After walking a few steps, he returned the grasp, gently squeezing Zou Yang’s hand.

They were still outside the courtyard when Xiao Bai started barking.

Fan Jun whistled while taking out his keys, and Xiao Bai immediately stopped.

When the courtyard gate opened and Xiao Bai pounced on Zou Yang, Zou Yang almost couldn’t see where it was. It panted heavily in his face, and he had to grit his teeth to stop himself from turning and running.

“Bai!” Fan Jun reprimanded in a low voice.

Xiao Bai went over and sat down closely beside his leg.

Zou Yang had almost no memories of this kind of thing—going out for a walk with a dog after dinner. In the past, the most he did after eating was wander around outside with Liu Wenrui for a few laps.

It felt very comfortable. The night breeze wasn’t exactly cool right now, but it still felt very pleasant blowing against them.

After doing a few laps around the mall, as they returned toward the residential area, Fan Jun looked back at the dark little street a couple of times.

“Is there someone?” Zou Yang asked softly. He still didn’t see anyone suspicious; in fact, he didn’t see anyone at all.
“I didn’t see anyone,” Fan Jun said. “Just… a feeling.”

“Then let’s hurry back,” Zou Yang said. “At least the space is smaller, it’ll be safer.”
“Mm,” Fan Jun smiled.

Most of the time, Xiao Bai spent the night in the doghouse at the old gym.
Today, Fan Jun brought Xiao Bai back with them.

“I think I’ll still… sleep on the sofa,” Zou Yang said.
“Mm,” Fan Jun responded. “Are you… going to take a shower? The clothes from last time are washed, but I haven’t given them back to you yet.”

Zou Yang instantly recalled his clothes that had been draped over the shower curtain rod and taken away by Fan Jun, and his… underwear.
“Yes,” he said.

After Fan Jun handed him the clothes, he snatched them quickly and darted into the bathroom, afraid that if he delayed a second longer, his face would be so hot it could set his hair on fire.

Before coming out after his shower, he even listened closely by the door.

He didn’t know why he felt like a thief.

However, the living room was very quiet.

Pushing the door open, Zou Yang found Fan Jun sitting on the rug, asleep leaning against the sofa.

Xiao Bai was lying beside him. Seeing Zou Yang come out, the dog whimpered and started to stand up.

“Shh!” Zou Yang quickly raised his index finger. “Don’t move.”

Xiao Bai whimpered again and lay back down.

There were two beer cans beside Fan Jun’s hand. Zou Yang carefully walked over, picked them up, and shook them. Empty.
He must have drank them when he first sat down here.

They had drank quite a bit tonight, emptying the fridge.
It seemed Fan Jun really hadn’t been sleeping well lately, relying entirely on this stuff.

Zou Yang stood in front of him, hesitating over whether to wake him up to go to bed, or just let him sleep like this.
If he woke him up, would he be able to fall asleep again?
If he slept in this position, would he wake up in the middle of the night?

Fan Jun actually looked pretty good while sleeping.
Pretty… sexy.

*Zou Yang?
Wake up.*

He stood there until he himself felt dizzy with sleepiness, and even Xiao Bai, being a dog, began to look at him with confusion in its eyes. Only then did he finally turn off the living room lights and lay down quietly on the sofa.

Fan Jun’s head was right by his hand; he could touch Fan Jun’s face just by raising it.

He lay perfectly straight on the sofa, listening to Fan Jun’s breathing.
All his fucking sleepiness was gone.

He held out until Xiao Bai started snoring, and his straight back began to ache. Unable to bear it any longer, he turned his head and called out softly: “Fan Jun?”

Fan Jun didn’t move.
A hearing-impaired person who had drank alcohol and fallen asleep naturally couldn’t hear.

“Jun’er?” he called out very softly again.

Perhaps the sound was too low; even the dog didn’t wake up.

Zou Yang carefully raised his hand. By the moonlight seeping through the gap in the curtains, he could see Fan Jun’s tilted-back profile: the bridge of his nose, his mouth, his chin, his neck…

His hand carefully reached over, his fingertips landing very lightly on Fan Jun’s lips.

Before he could touch the scar, Fan Jun moved.
Before he could react at all, Fan Jun had already grabbed his hand.

“Fuck?” Zou Yang was so shocked he didn’t even care about the awkwardness. “Were you not asleep?”
“Mm,” Fan Jun responded.

“You…” For a moment, Zou Yang didn’t know how to explain his behavior, which bordered a bit on being a hooligan.

But the next second, Fan Jun held his hand and gently pressed it against his own lips.

In that instant, the palm of his hand was filled with warm softness.