He Is Constantly Jealous Of Himself

JOH CH113: Depression

“October 28th…” Su Yiran heard the date and thought carefully, but too much time had passed and many things had happened since then. He really couldn’t recall what happened specifically that day.

“I don’t think anything special happened that day,” he said honestly, with no clear memory at all.

Gu Yuanting’s face was pale, filled with guilt and remorse. He carefully hugged Yiran and said, “I’m sorry.”

A question mark appeared on Su Yiran’s forehead. He hugged Ting-ge back and kissed him gently. “What’s wrong?”

Gu Yuanting thought of what he had done to Yiran and felt so heartbroken he could barely breathe: “I’m sorry. I bullied you, almost pushed you off the bed, was harsh with you, and…” He couldn’t say more.

Su Yiran truly couldn’t remember that day. Now that Ting-ge mentioned it, after careful thought, he had a vague impression but hadn’t really put it in his heart. Seeing Ting-ge so full of guilt, he quickly stroked his head, “It’s okay, I forgive you.”

He continued, “Besides, it’s because you had amnesia and forgot who I was, that’s why you acted like that. It’s normal, not your fault.”

He recalled those days before and after the dessert shop opened. Indeed, Ting-ge’s odd behavior started around then.

“I remember, around the shop’s opening, you were especially busy. We originally planned to open the shop together, but you were always busy outside dealing with Gu family matters.”

At the time, Gu Yuanting had told him it was work-related. Later, after learning Ting-ge’s true identity, Yiran knew the Gu family had already found Ting-ge and he was busy with them.

He never imagined that Ting-ge had already been suffering from amnesia then.

They were both busy running the shop, from morning till night, barely talking. Su Yiran recalled that Ting-ge was somewhat cold to him then. He thought it was due to exhaustion and stress over the Gu family matters.

He never expected it was because Ting-ge forgot who he was.

Just imagine: waking up to a blank mind with no memories, lying in bed with a “stranger.” Su Yiran put himself in Ting-ge’s shoes and felt scared just thinking about it.

He knew Ting-ge’s personality well; in such a situation, Ting-ge would silently observe cautiously, searching for clues, rather than just openly saying he’d lost his memory.

Ting-ge was so good at hiding himself. Plus, he only lost his memory—not his personality, habits, or behavior patterns—all of which were familiar to Su Yiran, so he hadn’t noticed anything.

“No wonder, just a few days after the shop opened, you wanted to sleep in a separate room,” Su Yiran clearly remembered this and smiled at Gu Yuanting, “And you even seemed to want a divorce. Actually, you really wanted to divorce back then, right?”

Goosebumps rose on Gu Yuanting’s back, his hair standing on end like a rattle. He nervously shook his head: “No, no, I didn’t, Yiran…”

Seeing Ting-ge flustered with red eyes, Su Yiran quickly leaned in to kiss and hug him, soothing, “I know, I know, you didn’t mean it. We’re good now, don’t worry.”

Under Yiran’s gentle comfort, Gu Yuanting gradually calmed down. Yeah, they were fine now.

He apologized again, filled with guilt.

He recalled Yiran’s condition then—he was even pregnant.

Gu Yuanting was overwhelmed with self-reproach and shame, unable to even raise his head: “Sorry… you were carrying our baby then, and I…”

Su Yiran patiently stroked Ting-ge’s head: “It’s okay, I accept your apology. The baby is fine too.”

Yiran accepted his apology, but Gu Yuanting didn’t accept himself. In his heart, he scolded himself harshly, then said no more, resolutely deciding to make it up to Yiran a hundredfold.

He hugged Yiran tightly and kissed him tenderly. Yiran showed no anger, only gentle love.

Yiran must be a little angel.

His little angel.

He was so lucky.

Su Yiran still had some doubts, but Ting-ge had just woken from unconsciousness and apologized so sincerely, so he decided to wait to ask later and let him rest well.

The next day, Su Yiran took Gu Yuanting to see Dr. Sun.

Although Gu Yuanting had recovered his memories, his depression might not be cured yet and needed Dr. Sun’s assessment.

As usual, Dr. Sun had Gu Yuanting complete several psychological tests. After seeing the results, he breathed a sigh of relief and smiled at both of them: “Congratulations, based on the test results, Mr. Gu no longer shows signs of depression. Your depression is completely healed.”

Su Yiran finally relaxed and smiled happily, “Great!”

Seeing Yiran’s happy expression, Gu Yuanting took his hand and felt fresh guilt again: “Sorry for making you worry so much.”

Their baby had just been born, and Gu Yuanting had developed postpartum depression, worrying Yiran sick.

Later, it worsened into severe depression. He acted out daily and even had suicidal thoughts… Thinking of how worried Yiran had been made him scold himself again.

What a drama queen. Useless.

Su Yiran smiled, “It’s okay. You’re better now.”

Dr. Sun said, “It seems Mr. Gu’s depression was completely caused by the amnesia.” Then he was speechless for a moment—this was the first time he’d seen such an unusual cause.

Still, some doubts remained. To prevent hidden risks in Gu Yuanting’s psychological condition, Dr. Sun wanted to understand everything clearly.

He asked about the amnesia—how and when it happened. Gu Yuanting answered as he did the day before, adding some other details.

“So, after your amnesia, you fell in love with Mr. Su again, got jealous of your former self every day, and ended up with severe depression,” Dr. Sun said calmly but was actually quite shaken inside.

This guy’s an idiot, right? Dr. Sun glanced oddly at Gu Yuanting.

Gu Yuanting: “…”

Su Yiran blushed, knowing what had happened after the amnesia. Ting-ge fell in love with him all over again and was jealous every day, comparing himself with his past self…

Though silly now, it was really painful for Ting-ge at the time.

Dr. Sun chatted with Gu Yuanting a bit more, then spoke privately with Su Yiran: “Mr. Gu’s condition looks like after amnesia he completely saw himself as a different person. That’s why he hid his amnesia and was jealous, even hateful, of his former self, and even, uh, competed with himself.”

Su Yiran nodded; he had thought so too.

Dr. Sun continued, “It resembles dissociative identity disorder or split personalities. I thought the amnesiac Gu Yuanting might be a second personality. After memory returned, the personalities merged. But his personality, behaviors, and habits before and after amnesia were unchanged, which doesn’t fit split personality traits.”

Su Yiran nodded, “After amnesia, Ting-ge’s personality, expressions, actions, and habits were exactly the same. If there were differences, I would have noticed immediately.”

Dr. Sun nodded. “Ruling out split personality, I think it’s due to excessive paranoia—too paranoid. After all, it can’t really be that he’s dumb,” he joked.

Su Yiran seriously nodded in agreement.

Dr. Sun admitted he didn’t know what else could be the cause and smiled: “Anyway, it’s good Mr. Gu has recovered. You should come back next week for a follow-up. His paranoia index has always been high, which is a hidden risk.”

“Okay, thank you,” Su Yiran nodded seriously, taking the doctor’s words to heart.

No more issues, they said goodbye and were about to leave when Dr. Sun suddenly called back.

He hesitated: “…By the way, I feel Mr. Gu might be hiding something else.” Then he awkwardly smiled, “But maybe it’s just my imagination.”

Su Yiran thought and said, “I’ll pay attention after I go back.”

Stepping out of the office, Gu Yuanting immediately approached, worried. “What did Dr. Sun say to you?”

Su Yiran said seriously, “He said you’re dumb.”

Gu Yuanting: “…”

Seeing Ting-ge’s reaction, Su Yiran laughed out loud: “Just kidding. He said we should come back next week for follow-up to prevent risks.”

Gu Yuanting saw Yiran’s smile and couldn’t help but laugh. He took Yiran’s hand: “Let’s go.”

The injury on the back of Gu Yuanting’s head was no longer serious. After observation for a few days, he was ready to be discharged. The procedures were done, and their things were packed. They just needed to leave.

Holding Yiran’s hand and intertwining fingers, Gu Yuanting walked out of the hospital building, breathing fresh air. He glanced at Yiran and couldn’t help but smile brightly with joy.

It was great—everything was over. He and Yiran were still sweetly in love. From now on, they could continue living happily.

Su Yiran looked at Ting-ge’s silly smile and shook his head with a helpless smile: “Let’s go.”

Outside the hospital, the driver was waiting by the gate. Their things were many and had been loaded into the car earlier.

Gu Yuanting walked happily, almost seeing little flowers floating above his head. Holding Yiran’s hand, they stepped out.

A low-key black luxury car was parked at the gate, waiting.

Gu Yuanting spotted the car immediately; his smile stiffened, shattered into pieces.

The car… the car… the car they had saved and bought together?

That warm, memory-filled little car?

Had been sold far away at a second-hand car market in the suburbs!!

Damn!

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