Chapter 101: [ABO Side Story 3]

Su Hui often thought that perhaps the person with whom he had the deepest fate wasn’t Ning Yixiao, but the rain.

The day he met Ning Yixiao again after four years, it was raining. The location was no longer the campus, but Iceland.

The weather was terrible, and with the long polar night approaching, there were few tourists coming in for handicrafts. Su Hui felt dizzy from his medication and wanted to go upstairs to lie down, so he intended to flip the sign hanging outside to “Closed.” But the moment he pushed open the glass door, through the streaks of rain and the rainbow-colored road, he saw Ning Yixiao.

The instant their eyes met, Su Hui groundlessly recalled his psychological counseling session from a year ago.

[Out of a sense of responsibility to you as a patient, I do not recommend that you continue to search for everything about him. As a friend, I also know you can’t let go. Treat it like quitting alcohol or quitting smoking; take it slow. One day, you will forget.]

The irony was that while hearing those words, he was still hallucinating. Ning Yixiao was sitting right beside him, asking if he wanted to move in together.

[Withdrawal symptoms are painful, but once you’ve quit, looking back, you won’t even be able to recall the specific feeling of the pain.]

He wasn’t sure if the Ning Yixiao before him was real or a hallucination, and he didn’t dare to test it. He just stared silently from across the street until the other man stepped into the rain, drawing closer step by step.

[This is life; even the pain of loss cannot be reproduced.]

Is that so?

Su Hui only just discovered that this statement was false. The pain of their separation had reproduced itself at this very moment.

His whole body ached, yet he froze in place, unable to move.

It wasn’t until Ning Yixiao, drenched to the bone, walked up to him that he realized he was too late to escape. He didn’t want this moment to be a hallucination, but he was terrified that it was real.

Ning Yixiao frowned, staring at Su Hui, taking a long time to believe it was really him.

The rain had come suddenly. He had originally intended to go see the cathedral Su Hui had mentioned in the past, but the downpour was too heavy, and he had sought shelter under the eaves of a random shop. In seeking shelter, he had seen Su Hui across the street.

He seemed unchanged, yet somehow, he had changed completely.

The change that caused Ning Yixiao the most unease was that he could no longer perceive Su Hui’s pheromones at all.

Had he been permanently marked by another Alpha?

The thought circled in Ning Yixiao’s mind, tearing at his heart.

No one expected that a reunion after four years would be such a silent scene.

Until the glass door was opened again from the inside, revealing a fuzzy little head. The child looked at Su Hui standing outside and said in milky, childish English: “Why aren’t you back yet? Didn’t you say you were going to take a nap?”

Only then did Su Hui seem to remember how to breathe. He crouched down to touch the child’s cheek. “You go inside first; I’ll be back in a moment.”

Ning Yixiao gazed at the child’s face—the same Asian descent, looking no more than three or four years old.

The joy of the reunion was diluted, replaced by an embarrassment that stuck in his throat.

“Long time no see.”

Su Hui sent the child inside, stood up, and turned around, his eyes half-lowered as he whispered back, “Long time no see.”

The rain intensified, drifting under the eaves and soaking Ning Yixiao’s back.

Su Hui glanced up and caught Ning Yixiao’s inexplicably sorrowful gaze. A surge of guilt welled up, and before he could react, he spoke, “It’s cold outside… would you like to come in and sit for a while?”

Ning Yixiao wiped his face, smiled, and ultimately declined the invitation.

“No need, I was planning on going to see that cathedral anyway.”

He looked into Su Hui’s eyes, and then quite rudely stared at the back of Su Hui’s neck, covered by a high-neck sweater. “I didn’t expect to meet you again, let alone here.”

Su Hui was inexplicably distracted, remembering a dream he had years ago, before they were together. He was terrified that Ning Yixiao would say that line from his dream.

So, Su Hui didn’t dare to speak.

He had lived intimately with this man in hallucinations countless times, from his youth to his twilight years, passing through many folded dreams. But when he appeared realistically before him, Su Hui realized that no amount of hallucination equaled possession.

They had been separated for four years.

An inferiority complex caused Su Hui to instinctively raise his hand, nervously pulling at his collar to cover the back of his neck.

“Then… I’ll get you an umbrella.”

Su Hui went into the shop. When he came out, he held a folding umbrella, his habit of rolling the umbrella meticulously identical to Ning Yixiao’s old habits.

“Thank you.” Ning Yixiao took the umbrella, opened it, and walked into the rain.

He didn’t look back once, yet his mind flashed with images from the past. When Su Hui was happy, he would always say inexplicable things:

[I don’t want to write you letters. Although I love handwritten letters, it always feels like a bad omen.]

[Ning Yixiao, don’t forget me, okay?]

[When it snows, let’s not go out. Let’s just hide at home and watch the snow. Going out brings bad luck.]

He seemed to be avoiding something, but avoiding it didn’t seem to help.

Su Hui had dropped out of school on an ordinary day, vanished, and never appeared again. People at school gradually forgot his existence. Until the day he disappeared, everyone thought he was a Beta.

His secret was like a thorn stuck in Ning Yixiao’s heart, no matter where he searched or what places he visited, he could never find him.

The last time he heard news of him was at a university alumni gathering. An Alpha who used to live next door mentioned casually, “I heard Su Hui was dumped by a high-society Alpha. Don’t know if it’s true or not.” The people there were all eager for gossip. Why would a high-society Alpha marry a Beta? It’s not hard to find an Omega of equal status.

It must be because Su Hui was a Beta that he was dumped.

Discussion buzzed, and Ning Yixiao left the gathering on the spot.

He had never given up looking for traces of Su Hui. He didn’t understand why his disappearance was so thorough, and he didn’t know if Su Hui had ever thought of him.

Remembering the suicide note Su Hui wrote during his depressive phase, Ning Yixiao couldn’t help but come to Iceland. The locals said he came at the perfect time to see the aurora.

But the aurora didn’t matter anymore.

Back in the car, Ning Yixiao discovered a missed message from his psychiatrist, Grace.

[Grace: I just checked your medical records. You had three rut periods last year. This is a very abnormal performance. Please do not stop taking your medication without authorization, even if you are on vacation.]

Ning Yixiao closed his phone and drove back to the hotel.

The hotel owner also handled many tourism businesses and knew everything about the local area. He glanced at the umbrella in Ning Yixiao’s hand and asked with a smile in English, “Shaw, did you go to that craft shop? A lot of tourists go there. Did you follow a guide?”

Ning Yixiao was stunned.

“Craft shop?”

“Right.” The owner walked over, pointing at the umbrella in his hand. “Doesn’t this umbrella have the shop’s logo on it? Speaking of which, he’s ethnic Chinese, just like you.”

Only then did Ning Yixiao carefully check the umbrella surface.

Printed on it was an Aurora Morpho butterfly, the gift he had given Su Hui in the past.

His somewhat numb heart felt a dense prickling pain, as if many needles had been jabbed into him.

“Is he… married?”

“This…” The hotel owner laughed. “Ever since he moved here to open the shop last year, there have been countless Alphas chasing him, and many Betas joining in the fun, too. But based on my observations, he seems to be single. After all, this city is so small, you always bump into each other. He’s mostly alone, coming and going by himself.”

Hearing this, Ning Yixiao was momentarily lost in thought.

An Omega who had been permanently marked, with a child in tow, moving to Iceland to live alone.

Divorced? Or was he never married at all, just abandoned?

Ning Yixiao couldn’t continue the train of thought. He returned to his room, feeling despondent. After showering and changing into new clothes, he lay on the bed, his mind filled with memories he couldn’t dispel.

Perhaps he should have stayed to sit for a while today instead of turning and walking away.

A feeling of restlessness returned. Ning Yixiao took his medication, but the effect wasn’t ideal. He could only take the small kitten plush toy out of his suitcase and hold it, even though the pheromones left on it were almost gone.

The umbrella leaning against the wall looked very much like the one Su Hui had carried when they first met.

The butterfly, too, seemed to be that same butterfly.

At 6:30 PM, Su Hui sent away the two guests who had appointments. He was in a bad state and was about to enter his heat phase. He took the suppressants out of the cabinet, only to find the box was empty. He had to go out and buy more.

I should just close the shop first.

It was cold outside. As Su Hui was pulling down the rolling shutter in his heavy coat, he heard new footsteps.

“I’m sorry, we are closed for today,” Su Hui said in English without turning around.

“I came to return your umbrella.”

Hearing Ning Yixiao’s voice, he froze and turned around.

Ning Yixiao’s expression was unreadable. “May I go in and sit for a moment?”

“You…” Su Hui took the umbrella, hesitating.

“Or,” Ning Yixiao paused, “do you know where there is a decent Chinese restaurant? My stomach is hurting; I want to eat something light.”

“There is one.” Su Hui looked down to open his phone, found the number, and dialed, but unfortunately, the shop was closed today.

He hung up, looked up at Ning Yixiao, who was clutching his stomach and looking quite uncomfortable.

“If you don’t mind, I can make something. It’s barely edible.”

“Would it be a bother?” Although Ning Yixiao asked this, he took a step forward anyway.

“It’s fine. It’s just adding an extra pair of chopsticks.” Su Hui didn’t dare look at him. He lowered his eyes, turned, opened the shop door, and went in alone.

The shop was filled with handicrafts Su Hui had made. Ning Yixiao hadn’t expected that Su Hui wouldn’t become the installation artist he had wanted to be, but had instead chosen to open a very ordinary little shop in this city at the edge of the world.

But it seemed reasonable enough.

The shop space wasn’t small. In the corner of the first floor sat a tall fir tree, wrapped in ribbons and decorated like a Christmas tree.

Yes, Christmas is coming.

“Sit for a moment, it will be ready soon.”

Ning Yixiao didn’t listen to him, but instead took the initiative to follow Su Hui into the small kitchen on the first floor. “You know how to cook now?”

Su Hui didn’t answer. There’s nothing one can’t learn.

“I’ll help you.”

“Really, no need. You go rest, isn’t your stomach hurting?” Su Hui remembered there was stomach medicine in the first-aid kit, so he walked over to the counter. “I’ll find you some medicine.”

Ning Yixiao followed, but the first thing he noticed was the suppressant pillbox Su Hui had left out. He silently memorized the brand and sent it to his family doctor.

Su Hui worked for half an hour, making three dishes, including steamed egg custard. However, it wasn’t steamed beautifully; it had many air holes and was overcooked.

But the moment Ning Yixiao saw the steamed egg, his eyes stung.

Every time he was sick, Su Hui only wanted to eat this, and now it was his turn to make it for himself. This was actually a very ordinary small thing, but Ning Yixiao found it hard to accept Su Hui’s changes and growth.

He was clearly a young master who couldn’t even make a simple fried egg.

When the food was set on the small table, there was a sound from the stairs. It was the child from the morning. He rubbed his eyes and walked down, staring at Ning Yixiao for a long time. When Su Hui came out of the kitchen with bowls and chopsticks, the child followed him closely.

“Did you not wash your hands?”

Ning Yixiao took the bowl, staring at the steamed egg, watching Su Hui pick food for the child and whisper for him to eat more.

The child pointed at the steamed egg. “This, this is made for me?” He coughed twice after speaking. “Because I’m sick, right?”

Su Hui glanced at Ning Yixiao, used a spoon to scoop a large portion into the child’s porcelain bowl. “Yes, it’s made for you. Eat up.”

Ning Yixiao remained expressionless until Su Hui pushed the bowl of steamed egg toward him.

“It doesn’t taste as good as yours, just bear with it.”

Ning Yixiao gave a soft grunt of acknowledgment, his expression looking less cold than before.

They didn’t say much at the table. Ning Yixiao ate very, very slowly, dragging it out until the child had finished eating, still not putting down his bowl. Su Hui had no choice but to go in and wash the dishes first, while peeling an apple for him, cutting it into the shape of a little rabbit, and setting it on the table.

“Little Ice Cream, eat some apple.”

“Oh!”

Just as Su Hui finished speaking, he heard Ning Yixiao ask, “Can I eat one?”

The question sounded a bit pitiful, especially with Ning Yixiao’s cold face, creating a bizarre and irresistible chemical reaction.

“I didn’t say you couldn’t.” Su Hui’s voice was light. After saying this, he sat on a nearby sofa and looked down to make a phone call.

Ning Yixiao received a reply from the family doctor.

[Doctor: I checked. It is an over-the-counter Omega suppressant. It’s very cheap, but the side effects are massive. The immediate side effects are dizziness, nausea, and insomnia. Long-term use will lead to glandular atrophy and hormonal imbalance.]

[Doctor: Is there an Omega around you taking this? It’s best to persuade them to stop. This medication causes too much damage to the body.]

He stared at the child named “Little Ice Cream,” eating the apple rabbit slice by slice, and vaguely heard Su Hui say some words while on the phone, likely talking to a pharmacy.

“Where is your father?” he asked Little Ice Cream in a low voice.

Little Ice Cream’s mouth was full, pointing outside. “Daddy left.”

Ning Yixiao didn’t press further.

Su Hui appeared anxious after hanging up, found a pack of cigarettes, but didn’t end up smoking.

Suddenly, a strong wind picked up outside. The signboard of the shop across the street was blown away. Little Ice Cream yelled in fright, “A blizzard is coming!”

Ning Yixiao glanced out the glass door.

He intentionally dressed thinly and deliberately asked Su Hui, “Can I still call a car to the Blue Ice Hotel?”

“You’re staying that far away?” Su Hui looked at the weather outside, pondered for a moment, and said truthfully, “The weather is bad now; the road is dangerous. There probably won’t be any drivers willing to take you.”

Ning Yixiao nodded, his expression faint. He stood in place for a long time. “Then I…”

“Does Uncle want to stay?” Little Ice Cream finished the last piece of apple. “Uncle can sleep on the sofa, the sofa upstairs is very, very big.”

Ning Yixiao suddenly took a liking to his rival’s child. He turned his head to look at Su Hui.

Su Hui was a bit conflicted, after all, his current state was poor—he was in a depressive phase and fast approaching his heat phase.

“Is that okay?” Ning Yixiao pressed.

Su Hui stood up. “It’s fine. The second floor is reasonably clean, but the sofa isn’t that big. You can sleep in my bed.”

“What about you?” Ning Yixiao asked again.

Su Hui didn’t dare look at him. “I… I’ll just sleep on the first-floor sofa.”

Ning Yixiao was led upstairs. It was a small attic renovation with two rooms, one big and one small. Little Ice Cream ran into the small room, and Su Hui walked into the larger one.

The furnishings were very simple and orderly, not at all the style Su Hui used to like. Everything was meticulous, and when the wardrobe was opened, the clothes were arranged by color.

“This set of pajamas is a bit big and hasn’t been worn. If you need it, you can wear it.”

Su Hui placed the clothes and a bath towel on the bed and brought an unopened toothbrush. “You can use all of these. Call me if you need anything; I’ll come up.”

After speaking, he left.

When Ning Yixiao came out of the shower, he put his changed clothes into the washing machine. However, he didn’t know how to use it, as the instructions were written in Icelandic, so he just left them there for now.

He vaguely heard Su Hui reading fairy tales to Little Ice Cream in the small room next door. The pace was slow and the voice was low. He imagined it must have been a very warm scene.

But lying in Su Hui’s bed, he tossed and turned.

Not a trace of pheromones could be smelled—neither cherry wine nor the scent of rain, nothing. He couldn’t imagine what kind of life Su Hui had lived after leaving him, or why he wouldn’t return to find him.

Like this, until 2:00 AM, Ning Yixiao didn’t fall asleep. He suddenly had a craving for a cigarette, despite having quit for a long time. This was not a good omen. Restlessness and frustration alternately occupied his brain, causing him to uncontrollably release his Alpha pheromones. The entire attic was filled with the scent of fir and sea salt.

Ning Yixiao remembered the suppressants he had brought in his pocket, so he got up to find them in the bathroom, only to discover his clothes in the washing machine were gone.

He quieted down, closed the bathroom door, and heard a faint, ambiguous sound. Following the sound, he walked down the stairs and heard a sound he was very familiar with—something like the whimpering of a kitten.

In the darkness, a sliver of moonlight cast into the gap in the glass window, falling onto the sofa.

The arched quilt was covered by a thick blanket, obscuring Su Hui’s face. His face was covered by the knit sweater that should have been in the washing machine.

The only thing exposed was a section of his arm, whiter than the moonlight. His palm pressed the sweater tightly against his face, his fingers clenched, pulling with such force as if he wanted to inhale every bit of pheromones into his lungs.

Ning Yixiao suddenly caught a whiff of the scent of rain, very faint.

It was Su Hui’s pheromones.

Tips of his feet and ankles showed from under the quilt on the sofa, all flushed red, his toes curled tightly.

Restlessness and confusion climbed to the peak. Ning Yixiao walked over and ruthlessly ripped off the sweater covering Su Hui’s face, clutching that piece of his own clothing tightly in his hand.

Su Hui’s reddened eyes were full of astonishment. He was still gasping for breath, his face flushed, his whole body soaked, like a stranded fish. He didn’t seem to have reacted yet, or perhaps he was trying to distinguish something. Gradually, moisture welled up in his eyes.

“I’m sorry.” Su Hui’s voice was as thin as a thread. The moment tears fell, he wiped them away and repeated it softly.

“Why are you apologizing?” Ning Yixiao’s voice was still very cold.

Was it for apologizing for masturbating while holding his knit sweater, or for apologizing for disappearing without a trace all these years?

Su Hui stopped speaking. He tried to prop himself up, but he was weak, nearly rolling off the sofa.

In the end, it was Ning Yixiao who caught him.

He inhaled the long-lost scent of fir, rich and intense, and his head throbbed even more painfully.

“Ning Yixiao, you don’t need to worry about me…” Su Hui’s tone was slow, a bit self-defeating.

“Do you still love me?” Ning Yixiao suddenly asked.

Su Hui froze, his gaze darting away, his heart aching severely. He wanted to maintain a shred of dignity, yet he couldn’t even manage that. He couldn’t even bring himself to say he didn’t love him, and could only shake his head gently.

“Then why are you crying? Why do you need my pheromones?”

Su Hui frowned, looking up, his eyes rimmed with red, staring at Ning Yixiao’s face.

“Because I reached my heat phase, and I don’t have any suppressants.”

Ning Yixiao laughed, though his eyes remained cold. “You could have begged me. I’m much more useful than suppressants, you know that.”

Su Hui wanted to beg him to let him go, wanted to beg him not to talk about the past. The moment his tears streamed down, Ning Yixiao kissed him without reservation. The more Su Hui resisted, the deeper he kissed, pinching his neck like some kind of punishment.

“Ning Yixiao…”

Facing an Alpha who far surpassed him in size and strength, Su Hui had no possibility of resistance. Moreover, the release of Ning Yixiao’s pheromones was almost suppressive; his body had nearly melted into a puddle of water.

“The child is still upstairs…”

“You know fear now?” Ning Yixiao twisted Su Hui’s hands behind his back, his voice deep. “What were you doing in secret just now? Aren’t you afraid of corrupting the child?”

Ning Yixiao hadn’t even realized himself that he had entered his rut period ahead of schedule because of Su Hui, becoming full of destructive desire, irritable, insecure, and urgently in need of the soothing of pheromones.

But Su Hui’s pheromones were too faint; he couldn’t feel them.

“It hurts…” Su Hui hadn’t been bitten on the back of his neck for a long time, and he trembled with pain.

“It won’t hurt soon.”

At the moment he felt the tearing, Ning Yixiao released the teeth biting the back of his neck. Su Hui’s waist collapsed, his wrists held firmly.

The rain-scented pheromones suddenly gushed out, like water bubbling up from a spring, overflowing in the quiet of the late night.

Ning Yixiao’s voice was hoarse, his tone almost provocative.

“Su Hui, who marked you? To be covered up so easily…”

He deliberately kissed Su Hui’s flushed ears. “You actually look up to such a lousy Alpha?”

Su Hui’s body was in convulsions, shaking like a sieve, unable to hear anything, unable to think at all.

The blizzard outside intensified, with destructive sounds coming from everywhere. Yet in the room, it was a fir forest abundant with rain, the scents intertwined, thick and inseparable.

It seemed as if the rain would never stop.

In the environment near the polar night, the sky almost never turned light. No one called for the child, and he never woke up.

Ning Yixiao held Su Hui face-to-face, forcing him awake from his slumber.

When Su Hui woke up this time, his reason seemed to have recovered quite a bit, so he didn’t dare to look into Ning Yixiao’s eyes, burying his face in his collarbone, gritting his teeth, not making a single sound.

They hadn’t kissed.

Thinking of this, Su Hui was inexplicably sad and cried out in a low voice.

“What’s wrong?”

“Don’t cry anymore, it’s my fault.”

Ning Yixiao stopped, hugged him, and gently stroked his spine, only then discovering that he was terribly thin, his spine and shoulder blades protruding significantly.

Su Hui cried, but didn’t speak. It was only after a long while that he whispered to Ning Yixiao to hurry, the child was going to wake up.

At 10:30 AM, the Icelandic sky remained dark, with no light—only fierce winds and heavy snow.

The scent of fir seemed to seep into Su Hui’s very bone marrow. He emerged from Ning Yixiao’s embrace, cautious, afraid of waking him. Wrapped in a black coat, he walked barefoot to the counter and rummaged for the short-acting medicine that came as a gift when he bought his suppressants.

Opening the packaging, Su Hui found the instructions, which listed some side effects on the Omega glands. They were a bit exaggerated, but to Su Hui, these didn’t matter anymore.

He even felt a bit self-defeating, suddenly very glad for the current incompleteness of his glands.

It couldn’t possibly get any worse than it is now.

Su Hui swallowed one, feeling cold, so he wrapped himself in the blanket that had been knocked to the floor, sitting alone by the floor-to-ceiling window smoking.

Ning Yixiao didn’t sleep deeply. The moment Su Hui left his embrace, he woke up.

The floor-to-ceiling window was next to that Christmas tree. Su Hui probably didn’t know he was awake. One hand held a lady’s cigarette, while the other toyed with the small gift boxes on the tree. His bare toes reached out and tapped the switch on the floor.

In an instant, the star lights wrapped around the fir tree lit up.

Under the shroud of white smoke and warm yellow light, Su Hui was as beautiful as a fragile dream.

Watching his profile, Ning Yixiao was reminded of the darkness, the way he cried and begged him.

[Ning Yixiao, don’t knot…]

Su Hui looked silently at the Christmas tree, suddenly shedding tears, and wiped them away with the hand holding the cigarette. Wisps of smoke drifted from his lips, just like speaking in the snow, the mist dissipating quickly.

“Ning Yixiao.”

Su Hui’s voice was as light as a self-mumble.

“Happy birthday.”