Chapter 25: P. New York Night Breeze

Ning Yixiao was completely helpless against him.

He couldn’t look Su Hui in the eye, yet he didn’t want to turn away, and he certainly couldn’t be cruel enough to stand up and walk away. So, he reached out, and his broad palm covered Su Hui’s face without warning.

“Mm?”

Su Hui’s vision was suddenly blocked; he hadn’t expected Ning Yixiao to do this. He grabbed Ning Yixiao’s wrist and pried it away slightly. “What are you doing…”

Ning Yixiao used this as an excuse to escape Su Hui’s earnest gaze. He didn’t answer the question, only saying, “In the future, when I don’t let you appear, do not appear. It’s very dangerous.”

This sounded like a tacit permission.

Su Hui nodded. “Understood.”

Only then did Ning Yixiao take his hand away, pulling it back to look at the bustling traffic on the road not far away.

What would happen if they got closer? He didn’t know. Having never lived a happy life from childhood to adulthood, he was always sensitive to the arrival of danger—whether it was a brutal beating, or being bullied after being surrounded, he could always predict these events accurately.

Su Hui was the most dangerous of these dangers, and at the same time, the most beautiful. Ning Yixiao knew he was sinking into it with his eyes wide open.

“Then do you find me annoying?” Su Hui looked at him.

Ning Yixiao ignored the question again, stubborn as ever. “I don’t want to drag you down with me.”

Su Hui couldn’t understand, even feeling that Ning Yixiao was being too overly cautious. “That’s not true. How could you drag me down?”

“You don’t know how terrifying these people are.” Ning Yixiao accommodated Su Hui’s innocence, not explaining too much. He felt that Su Hui didn’t need to understand the feeling of being hunted for debt, didn’t need to encounter danger, and didn’t need to know what it felt like to have a brick smashed into the back of his head. He only needed to enjoy life.

Turning his head, Ning Yixiao stared at Su Hui’s exposed calves—pale and smooth, with a few red, swollen mosquito bites lingering on them.

“How long have you been waiting? Can’t you feel it when mosquitoes bite you?”

“Not long.” Su Hui looked down. “You’re right, there are a lot of mosquitoes.”

“Let’s go.” Ning Yixiao stood up.

Su Hui stood up quickly, asking if he was going to the symposium.

Ning Yixiao walked into a small shop and bought a bottle of mosquito repellent spray and a pack of disinfectant wipes. He handed the spray to Su Hui and tore open the wipes to clean his own hands. He wiped them with great force, as if trying to scrub away everything dirty and unpleasant that had attached itself to him; his skin turned red almost immediately.

“Are you going?” Su Hui asked again.

“Yes. It’s publicly funded anyway.” Ning Yixiao looked indifferent, but in reality, even though it would be reimbursed, he still needed to save up 10,000 yuan for the airfare deposit, which nearly exhausted all the income from his part-time tutoring this semester.

But Su Hui was happy to hear it. He spoke about whatever came to mind, his pace fast. “I want to go to the Metropolitan Museum of Art, and Chelsea in New York; there are so many galleries there, a whole street of them. Oh, right, and the New Museum of Contemporary Art—do you know it? The building feels like a bunch of boxes stacked together. Oh, and I heard there’s a Tavis Fischer exhibition recently…”

Ning Yixiao listened quietly, involuntarily recording every word in his heart.

As Su Hui spoke, he felt himself coming apart. Another part of him noticed he was losing control; it was as if there were a hole in him that was gradually getting larger, and everything was leaking out—the endless stream of words, the small movements he couldn’t restrain, and a heart that was getting closer and closer to Ning Yixiao.

I don’t want to scare him.

As if suddenly waking from a dream, Su Hui paused, standing still and stopping his speech.

Ning Yixiao also stopped and looked at him. “What’s wrong?”

Su Hui glanced at the time. “It’s too late. I should go back.”

Ning Yixiao nodded. “I’ll take you.”

“No need, I’ll take a taxi.” Su Hui looked at him. “It’s very far.”

Su Hui’s clothes always seemed too big, framing his frame, and the oversized collar was always crooked—something that made Ning Yixiao want to straighten it every time he saw it, though he never once did so. He was afraid that the more he tidied it, the messier it would become, or that he would subconsciously do something else that would be troubling.

Su Hui said he was leaving, but his eyes were filled with the desire to stay. The neon lights of the building reflected in his pupils like two candles flickering in the wind, threatening to extinguish in the next second.

Ning Yixiao smiled lightly and tilted his chin. “Let’s go.”

He watched Su Hui get into the taxi, and he watched him leaning against the car window like a kitten being given away, eyes wide open in silence, gradually disappearing into the flow of traffic.

His retreat plan had failed repeatedly, and Ning Yixiao began to doubt his own resolve. Always a realist, he even began to have unrealistic fantasies: what if Su Hui weren’t so untouchable? What if he weren’t burdened by debt, and his life wasn’t one parasitized by poverty and hardship?

The lifespan of such fantasies was short; a single credit card repayment notification was enough to kill them. They were fragile.

After returning home, Su Hui couldn’t avoid a scolding, but he was lost in thought about Ning Yixiao’s wounded appearance and didn’t pay it much mind. Back in his room, he packed many things, only to realize later that he probably didn’t need most of them. The most important things were the medicines—lots and lots of them. Missing a single dose would make him abnormal.

He began to fear taking medicine in front of Ning Yixiao. He feared Ning Yixiao’s curiosity, feared he would investigate what these drugs were for, and feared he would hate him.

Ji Tailu viewed this trip abroad as a level-one danger event, repeating his warnings over and over, even interviewing several batches of security guards to send with him. Su Hui stood on the second-floor balcony, watching the guards below, feeling an inexplicable sadness. He didn’t want to live his life like this.

He walked downstairs, passing through the backyard, and accidentally overheard a conversation between Xu Zhi and the new driver, Feng Zhiguo.

“Wasn’t it agreed that I would be the one to go? I only came here because I listened to you, and now, other than driving, I can’t do anything.”

Xu Zhi’s voice was easy to distinguish, carrying a feigned kindness. “I did say that, but you are just a driver now. Do your job.”

“You…” Feng Zhiguo was angry but had nowhere to vent, so he lowered his stance. “It’s just that my son is going this time too. If you send me with him, I can keep him company.”

“You aren’t qualified to do security work.” After saying this, Xu Zhi walked away.

Su Hui crouched under the rose wall, pulling at a few weeds, staying quiet for a while until he was sure no one was around before returning to his room.

Before leaving, he argued with his family again. All the teachers and students attending the symposium were booked for economy class, but Ji Tailu insisted he ride in business class with three security guards, separated from the main group.

In the end, it was Grandmother who stepped in and solved the problem, negotiating so Su Hui could be with the others. Before leaving, she called Su Hui into her room and gave him a small red lucky bead—the size of a mung bean—strung on a thin platinum chain.

“Let me put it on for you.” Grandmother undid the clasp. “I prayed for this long ago; it’s very effective.” She put it on him and adjusted the bead. “I’ve lived my whole life safe and sound, and from now on, it will bless you too.”

Su Hui didn’t want her to give away her good luck. “Grandmother, you should wear it.”

“Be obedient.” She smiled kindly, touching Su Hui’s cheek. “When you get there, play with your classmates and friends, don’t be alone, you hear?”

“Mm.” Su Hui hugged her, letting her pat his back gently. Even so, he prayed in his heart, begging the gods to keep his grandmother healthy and safe forever. As for himself, anything would do.

The flight was at nine in the morning. Su Hui arrived at the airport early. As an adult, being followed by guards felt strange, so Su Hui bought them cigarettes and begged them to keep watch from a distance.

Ning Yixiao arrived with several classmates. In the crowd, Su Hui spotted him instantly. He was wearing a simple black short-sleeved shirt and grey trousers, tall and crane-like among the crowd.

Music played in Su Hui’s headphones—lyrics full of suggestion and encouragement—but he didn’t move. Ning Yixiao, surrounded by the crowd, looked toward him and hooked the corner of his mouth, as if greeting him.

He also raised his head, revealing a pair of beautiful eyes and a tiny silver ear ring from under the brim of his hat.

That day, the sky was a flawless blue, like the ocean of Su Hui’s imagination. Whether viewed through the floor-to-ceiling glass of the waiting hall or the small window of the cabin, it was stunningly beautiful.

Yet, his mood didn’t improve. Because seats were assigned by department, he didn’t get a chance to sit in the same row as Ning Yixiao. The thirteen-hour flight was as long as a bad movie on a loop.

Su Hui was caught between sleep and wakefulness, the small seat trapping his consciousness. After taking his medicine, he felt increasingly drowsy. He wasn’t familiar with the classmates around him and had no one to talk to.

By the time they got off the plane, it was late at night, but the prosperity here seemed never to go out. A bus carried them toward the center of the city. Su Hui felt dizzy, unable to admire the night view or the streets filled with traffic.

His phone vibrated. It took him a long time to find it.

[Ning Yixiao: Are you feeling unwell?]

A dim corner of Su Hui’s heart was suddenly lit up.

[Little Cat: Mm, feeling a bit nauseous.]

Ning Yixiao stared at the screen, subconsciously typing out the words “Little sickly thing” before deleting them.

[Ning Yixiao: Buy some water when you get off the bus.]

[Little Cat: I’ll go back to the hotel first.]

[Little Cat: Don’t stay with anyone else.]

Ning Yixiao felt that Su Hui was starting to show his willfulness to him. But for some reason, even though he enjoyed it inwardly, the subconscious retreat had never stopped.

[Ning Yixiao: Mm.]

He looked at the prosperous night scene outside the window, wondering if there would be a day he could integrate into this place instead of just being a visitor. If he couldn’t do it, if he couldn’t climb to such a high position, Ning Yixiao would rather he had never come at all. The same went for Su Hui.

The bus stopped at a starred hotel that looked quite decent. Professor Wang’s teaching assistant helped distribute room cards, asking everyone to settle into their temporary rooms. Many people invited Ning Yixiao, thinking he was reliable and friendly—a great roommate. But unexpectedly, Ning Yixiao didn’t say yes or no, merely smiling to smooth things over.

Su Hui walked over. He didn’t mention the room, only saying he was dizzy. Ning Yixiao took his room card and luggage, honoring his promise, and followed him.

Two people from the Computer Science department had come this time. Unlike the popular Ning Yixiao, the other was Feng Cheng, who was used to being a loner. He watched Ning Yixiao and Su Hui walk toward the elevator first, standing motionless.

“How are you now?” Ning Yixiao swiped the room card as the elevator went up, staring at Su Hui.

“A little better.” Su Hui nodded. His hair grew fast; it seemed like only a short while ago he had cut it, but now it looked just as it did the first time they met.

“You felt uncomfortable because there were too many people.” Ning Yixiao hit the nail on the head. He was a little kitten who needed his own space.

Su Hui raised his eyes, his gaze filled with the unwillingness of being exposed, but he quickly hung his head and admitted: “Yes, it’s just because there were too many people.”

The elevator arrived. Ning Yixiao held the door open for him. “And the seats were too small.”

“Yes, my legs had nowhere to put.” Su Hui nodded.

“Anything else?” Ning Yixiao was amused.

Su Hui thought for a moment. It was also because he hadn’t spent time with him for thirteen hours.

“Jet lag is very hard.” He gave a dishonest answer, waiting for Ning Yixiao to open the door.

The security guards sent by his grandfather were staying on the same floor; just thinking about it made Su Hui feel frustrated. However, the moment the door opened, the rather lovely standard room made him feel much better. The door faced the balcony, and the windows were open; a wind smelling of tuberose blew in.

Su Hui walked quickly to the balcony and leaned out halfway to look. This was an old street, and there was a quiet beauty to it at night. Three young people walked past downstairs, swinging beer bottles in their hands, creating passionate sounds as they clinked them together in the silent night.

Suddenly, they shouted each other’s names loudly, laughed, and then sprinted across the street, noisy and free. He couldn’t say why, but he loved this place. The only regret was that he couldn’t see the sea.

“Su Hui.”

When he turned back, he saw Ning Yixiao standing by the bed, asking if he wanted to shower first. Ning Yixiao was dressed as if to seal off all desires; his expression was indifferent and he looked very upright. But Su Hui couldn’t help but imagine some not-so-decent scenes, completely out of place.

“What’s wrong?” Ning Yixiao asked when he saw him dazed.

“Nothing.” Su Hui lowered his eyes, avoiding his gaze as he walked back from the balcony. “You go first; I want to sit for a while.” Saying this, he walked over to the leather sofa. There was a hotel room service menu on the coffee table; he picked it up and glanced at it.

The bathroom door closed, and the sound of water followed. Su Hui couldn’t stop his hallucinations, like water flowing on the floor, about to overflow. He had no choice but to keep flipping through the menu, but he couldn’t eat a bite; his mouth felt dry.

His fingertips stopped on the last page. Su Hui stared for a moment, then picked up the hotel telephone and dialed.

While showering, Ning Yixiao heard the door open and thought he had misheard. After washing up, he wiped the steam off the mirror and looked at the wound at the corner of his mouth; it was almost healed. He couldn’t help but think of the way Su Hui had tended to his wound—that careful, delicate appearance was also beautiful.

But he didn’t want there to be a next time.

Changing into loose clothes, he came out draped in damp heat. Closing the bathroom door, he found that Su Hui was once again leaning on the balcony railing.

It doesn’t feel very safe. Ning Yixiao dried his hair with his towel and walked toward the balcony. He heard a soft humming—very light—and Su Hui’s head was swaying slightly, fluffy like a doll.

“What are you doing leaning there?” Ning Yixiao was used to talking to him from behind, trying to startle him.

But Su Hui wasn’t startled this time; his reaction was slow and languid. “Hm?” He turned around, still holding a bottle of foreign liquor in his hand.

Ning Yixiao was stunned and took the bottle from his hand. “Why are you drinking? Did you bring this?”

Su Hui pointed into the room, mimicked the motion of making a phone call, and said slowly: “I just ordered it… the alcohol content is a bit high.”

He propped himself up on the railing to stand steady, smiled at Ning Yixiao, and announced with a sense of pride: “I’m drunk.”

This was the first time Ning Yixiao had discovered that there were drunkards who would honestly face the fact that they were drunk.

“Is that so?” He smiled, teasing him on purpose.

“Mm…” The night breeze in New York was warm, and even the sound of his voice seemed soaked and softened by alcohol.

Su Hui nodded slowly twice, then suddenly reached out, imagining himself like a green vine clinging to the other person, his burning fingers cupping Ning Yixiao’s face.

Ning Yixiao froze, and before he could push him away, Su Hui stood on tiptoe, hooked his neck to pull him closer, and naturally pressed his cheek against Ning Yixiao’s slightly cool face, exchanging body heat.

“Am I very hot?”