Chapter 53: N. Birthday Wish

Su Hui was effortlessly drained of all strength; it had taken only six words and a few seconds.

Ning Yixiao hadn’t said “I hate you.” He could have said it—he was the person in the world most entitled to say those words.

Su Hui’s body was burning, his mind a void. His physical self and his thoughts seemed to be disintegrating, neither listening to the other’s commands.

In terms of etiquette, he should have at least replied with a “Happy New Year,” but he couldn’t utter a single syllable.

The next second, the punishment call ended.

Su Hui’s breathing had nearly stopped. The moment he heard the dial tone, it was like a drowning man breaking the surface for air.

Ning Yixiao turned around, looking perfectly composed. He walked back from the floor-to-ceiling window, sat in his original seat, glanced at Jing Ming, and said, “Is that enough?”

Jing Ming was beyond delighted, curled up on the sofa in laughter. Chloe wore an expression that said she knew everything but wouldn’t say it, while Bella was so shocked by what had just happened that she was speechless. “So… Shaw’s ex is Eddy?”

Jing Ming grabbed a cushion and hit Bella’s arm. “How are you so dense? Isn’t it obvious?”

Bella clutched her forehead. “I hired a fake fiancé, and then I hired his ex to do the installation art… God, what kind of luck is this?”

Chloe offered a dry reminder, “It seems Eddy doesn’t want to come out after hearing that.”

Bella suddenly looked up and asked Ning Yixiao, “Was that Chinese you spoke just now? You didn’t really say ‘I hate you,’ did you?”

Jing Ming stepped in to smooth things over. “Yeah, I understood it. It was just Chinese for ‘I hate you.’ That’s killing the heart—saying that in your native language to an ex.”

“That’s too much!”

Ning Yixiao couldn’t be bothered to deal with him. He accepted Bella’s ruthless accusations and glanced toward the direction of Su Hui’s room. Coincidentally, Su Hui was walking out just then, so Ning Yixiao looked away and poured himself a glass of Riesling.

Jing Ming intended to start a new round of games. When he saw Su Hui return, he said enthusiastically, “Eddy, come over!”

Su Hui was already quite drunk; his footsteps were weightless. He nodded with a slight delay, bypassed the sofa, returned to his seat, and wrapped himself back in the blanket Ning Yixiao had given him.

Fortunately, everyone present was kind and understood social boundaries. No one deliberately teased Su Hui about the ex-partner situation; they treated the game as just a game, without any extensions.

But Su Hui didn’t understand his own heart. A part of him was expecting them to tease him, wanting Ning Yixiao to say more about “exes,” as if that would bring him some strange kind of joy.

Yet another part of him kept refusing, kept fleeing, terrified of what might come next. Everything this night was strange, as if something were subtly changing.

Su Hui was afraid of change.

His mouth was dry. He saw some red wine left in the decanter and reached to pour some, but was stopped by Ning Yixiao.

“You’ll be drunk if you drink more,” Ning Yixiao whispered in Chinese.

Su Hui didn’t have the courage to look up, but he was stubborn and reached for it anyway. The next second, Ning Yixiao pushed a different glass toward him—a pale gold liquid with the fragrance of apricots and citrus.

“Drink this. Lower alcohol content.”

Faced with such an arrangement, Su Hui paused for a moment but complied.

When he was drunk, he was strange—easily swayed by commands, especially from this former boyfriend who, at times, was very overbearing.

He took a small sip. It was a crisp, sweet White Riesling with a floral and fruity aroma and a hint of grass.

It was Su Hui’s preferred flavor.

He glanced at the glass and took another drink, not noticing it wasn’t his own.

Ning Yixiao naturally picked up Su Hui’s empty glass, poured the last of the red wine from the decanter into it, and drank it.

“Ah, it’s me!” Jing Ming was chosen by the bottle’s mouth; he had moved a rock only to drop it on his own feet.

Bella was excited. “Pick, pick! Truth or Dare?”

Jing Ming thought for a while. “Truth, I guess.”

Chloe chimed in ruthlessly, “Probably because he has too many ex-girlfriends; picking Dare would cause trouble.”

“Spot on.” Jing Ming shrugged.

Soon, the app gave the [Truth] question, and Bella read it out: “Describe a romantic experience you have personally lived through.”

“Romantic?” Jing Ming looked troubled. “Let me think.”

Ning Yixiao sneered. “You’re half-French; how can you be stumped by romance?”

Bella burst out laughing. “The stereotype appears.”

Su Hui listened, feeling quite expectant of his answer.

Jing Ming was troubled but eventually came up with one. “Last autumn, I was vacationing in LA. I was driving around aimlessly and ended up at the Griffith Observatory. I went up, and it was getting dark. Standing next to me was a girl—deep brown curls, green eyes, wearing a warm orange scarf. She was beautiful.”

“And then you sang a song to her?” Chloe joked.

The others didn’t get the reference, but Su Hui was the first to laugh out loud.

Ning Yixiao turned to look at him. Su Hui’s face was soft and flushed, wrapped in a beige wool blanket, strands of hair falling beside his face, using his glass to hide his smile.

“You’ve watched La La Land too many times,” Jing Ming continued. “So, I started chatting with her. She was Spanish. We chatted in English the whole night; her accent was adorable. Later, we went to buy wine, planning to watch the LA sunrise together.”

Bella clutched her forehead. “God, so it’s not La La Land, it’s Before Sunrise.”

Su Hui added with a smile, “I really love that movie.”

Ning Yixiao suddenly remembered that he seemed to have watched that movie with Su Hui in the small room they used to live in, where the projector showed a man and woman walking endlessly, chatting without stopping.

But Ning Yixiao had forgotten most of the plot. He only remembered that when the leads walked into a record store and listened to a record in a small, enclosed booth, Su Hui kissed him.

The rest of the plot was drowned out by that sweet kiss.

“But—” Jing Ming’s tone shifted. “I actually didn’t see that sunrise, because I was tired and had been drinking, so I fell asleep and missed it.”

Bella was curious. “And the girl?”

“She disappeared, too,” Jing Ming said. “But she left her scarf behind, covering me.”

Bella wore a dreamy expression. “That’s truly romantic!”

Chloe wasn’t moved. “A very classic French movie script.”

“Didn’t you exchange contact information?” Bella couldn’t help but ask.

Jing Ming shook his head. “She completely vanished. I tried to find her, but later I realized this world is truly much bigger than I imagined. Finding someone is really, really hard.”

Su Hui suddenly spoke up, imagining another possibility. “If she hadn’t disappeared, it probably wouldn’t have been that romantic.”

Ning Yixiao’s peripheral vision flickered toward him.

Su Hui’s words suddenly became more frequent, his speed of speech much faster than before. “Because you lost her, you miss her so much. If you had actually developed a relationship, you would know it was just a relationship, like many you’ve had before—temporary and unstable. But you lost her on the most beautiful night, and loss is eternal, and regret is eternal, so it’s very romantic.”

Jing Ming was surprised by Su Hui’s words; it felt as if, in an instant, he had become a different person. But it was only a subtle feeling, so he nodded. “You’re right. Loss is eternal.”

Su Hui smiled and drank a large mouthful of wine.

Only Ning Yixiao noticed that in that exact moment, Su Hui had switched from a depressive state to a manic one.

But he wasn’t sure if Su Hui’s words were simply explaining Jing Ming’s romantic encounter or if they contained other subtext.

When the Truth or Dare game reached the third round, Su Hui was chosen. He leaned back in his chair, one leg propped on the edge, arms resting on his knees, chin on his hand, looking lazy and relaxed.

“I choose… Dare.”

Jing Ming was very satisfied with his choice. “Okay.” He tapped [Dare] on the screen. The system began scrolling through terms and finally stopped on a line.

He read it aloud: “Please take out your phone, find the second entry in your call log, dial it back, and say to them: ‘Actually, I’ve liked you for a long time.'”

Bella covered her mouth. “Wow…”

“Your luck with the randomizer is truly metaphysical,” Chloe said with a smile, holding back the phrase “no wonder you’re exes.”

Su Hui tucked a stray lock of hair behind his ear and smiled. “Is it too late to take it back and choose Truth?”

“Of course not!” Jing Ming insisted. “And if you fail the Dare, there’s a penalty.”

“What penalty?” Su Hui asked.

“Eat a whole lemon,” Jing Ming said off the cuff.

Ning Yixiao knew Su Hui well; his greatest fear was acidity. Never mind a whole lemon—he couldn’t stand a single slice.

“Alright.” Su Hui paused, took out his phone, and for fairness, placed it on the coffee table where everyone could see it. He counted down from the top to the second entry.

Coincidentally, Ning Yixiao’s call record was exactly the first one—it was just one spot away.

His mood soured.

“Eh?” Jing Ming discovered the most dramatic point. “This note in the call log… isn’t that the ‘Ryan’ you mentioned?”

Bella noticed it too. “It is! Ryan Forrester.”

Su Hui’s attention, however, was entirely fixed on the name [Ning Yixiao] in the line above, and he nearly drifted off.

But Ning Yixiao’s voice snapped him back. “Start.”

His tone was not good—even unfriendly—but things had reached this point, and Su Hui couldn’t welsh on the deal.

He took a deep breath and chose to redial. The call connected much faster than he expected—it was practically instantaneous.

Ryan’s energetic voice came through the speaker, like a passionate mushroom cloud hitting everyone in the face.

“Hi! Eddy, what’s up? Oh, right, it’s Chinese New Year’s Eve tonight, Happy New Year! Can I come visit you? I just got this super cool book…”

He wouldn’t stop talking, so Su Hui had to interrupt him. “Ryan, I have something to tell you.”

“Hm?” Ryan stopped. “What?”

Su Hui was caught in a dilemma, his fingers gripping tightly in anxiety. The room suddenly became very quiet; it felt as if the air had solidified into a semi-gelatinous state.

Suddenly, Ning Yixiao stood up from beside him. Without warning, he left his seat, walked to the kitchen, opened the refrigerator, and retrieved ice. He made quite a bit of noise; the sound of ice scraping was exceptionally clear in the silent room.

He walked back, and just as Su Hui looked up, their eyes met. Ning Yixiao’s gaze was freezing, his aggression impossible to hide, leaving Su Hui confused and blank for a moment.

“Eddy?” Ryan tried calling his name again from the other end of the line.

Su Hui finally snapped back, but most of his focus remained on the now-reseated Ning Yixiao.

“Sorry.”

He cleared his throat and, under the urging gestures of Jing Ming and the anticipation of everyone, he spoke. “I wanted to say—”

Ning Yixiao took a silent sip of his wine, his wrist swaying, causing the red wine in the glass to tremble.

“—Good luck with the competition. Your work deserves to be seen by more people.”

After Su Hui finished, he held up both hands to signal to Jing Ming that he had lost.

Ryan on the other end was clearly bewildered but accepted Su Hui’s well-wishes. “Thank you, I will work hard.”

As he ended the call, he even said “love you.”

Su Hui ignored the phrase, didn’t reply in kind like Westerners often do, just smiled, told him to get some sleep, and hung up.

“Your Dare failed!” Jing Ming acted as if he were disappointed. “Accept the punishment.”

Bella smiled. “Actually, you could have just said it and then explained; he definitely would have understood and not minded too much.”

For Su Hui, he didn’t care about Ryan’s reaction.

In that moment when the call connected, he had even been impulsive enough, under the influence of alcohol, to think about saying it just to test the waters.

But he quickly sobered up; such a test would be irresponsible to everyone involved.

He was afraid Ning Yixiao would care, but even more afraid he wouldn’t care at all.

Su Hui smiled silently. Chloe had already sliced the lemon and brought it over. She felt a whole plate was too cruel, so she suggested, “Actually, you can just eat half.”

Jing Ming nodded. “True, it’s too much; half is sour enough.”

But Su Hui honored his word, eating it slice by slice. It was so sour his teeth felt uncomfortable, so he cupped his cheeks, wanting a moment to recover.

Right then, the plate was pulled away.

Ning Yixiao said, “I can use these slices.” Having said that, he picked them up and squeezed them into his own Gin and Tonic.

“When did you get a Gin and Tonic?” Jing Ming saw it and asked, “Pour me some.”

Ning Yixiao squeezed out the remaining slices and wiped his hands meticulously with a tissue. “Get it from the liquor cabinet yourself.”

Su Hui was still cupping his cheeks, head buried, looking defeated.

Bella, thinking of the call log she’d just seen, teased him intentionally, “Should’ve just called the first person.”

Chloe laughed. “That would probably mean eating another lemon.”

Su Hui, face flushed red, grabbed his wine glass and turned away, his tone involuntarily carrying a hint of coquettishness. “I can’t eat even one more slice.”

For some reason, this sentence made Ning Yixiao’s mood clearly lift, as if it were some kind of signal.

If he really had dialed the first person, would he not want to eat the lemon?

Would he have dutifully followed the Dare challenge?

Ning Yixiao’s imagination wasn’t great, but he still felt simple satisfaction and happiness over something that hadn’t happened.

The game slowly turned into pure conversation. They talked about political events in the Times, then shifted to astronomy, then to art. Su Hui gradually let go of his social constraints, chatting freely, especially in fields he understood.

His speech revealed a sense of relaxation and clarity. The previous shrinking and sluggishness had faded with the end of his depressive period, like a snake shedding its skin to reveal a new appearance.

Chloe said, “The beauty of restraint is also an art,” but she was opposed by Su Hui.

“But art has no rules to begin with.” He smiled gently with the face of prey, tipsy and drunk, firmly gripping the heart of every potential hunter. “If it isn’t free enough, every sensory experience will be stifled.”

Bella was nearly passed out but sat up as if she had a second wind and asked him one last question.

“There’s a question that’s pretty popular online lately: if you have four words, how would you rank them by importance?”

“Which four?” Su Hui was drunk, his tone lazy.

“Life, Living, Freedom, and Love,” Bella said, counting on her fingers.

Su Hui barely hesitated. He tilted his head. “Love, Freedom, Living, Life.”

“I’m just like you!” Bella was delighted.

Jing Ming said, “That’s the exact opposite of me. Why put Love first?”

Bella sat up straight. “Because this Love isn’t just romantic love; it’s all love—for friends, family, pets, everything that keeps you company, civilization, art, even nature and the universe. If a person lacks the capacity for love and can’t perceive any love, how terrifying is that?”

Chloe smiled. “Bella and Eddy are quite in sync.”

The night passed quickly. They drank too much and all ended up passed out on the sofa. Bella was completely blacked out, sleeping in Chloe’s arms; Jing Ming had also passed out, sleeping directly on the single sofa.

Perhaps because they hadn’t drunk anything too strong, Su Hui hadn’t fully blacked out yet, but he was close. Only five percent of his consciousness remained, ready to slip into the abyss at any moment.

He saw Ning Yixiao stand up and turn off the living room lights. The room went dark, and the Manhattan nightscape unfolded like a painting, surrounding them through the glass.

The kitchen still had a dim, warm light. Ning Yixiao stood by the sink, washing his hands.

Su Hui was controlled by a complex, source-less emotion. He stood up and staggered into the kitchen.

The refrigerator was built-in, its door identical to the kitchen cabinetry. For someone as drunk as he was, identifying which was the fridge door was far too difficult. Su Hui fumbled for a long time.

A hand, still wet, gripped his wrist, guiding him to the correct door, then let go.

Su Hui didn’t look at him. He opened the fridge door, the warm yellow light suddenly filling the space around him like a special door that could transport them back six years.

Su Hui was obsessed with Ning Yixiao’s birthday. He took out the cake box immediately, but he had no strength left, so he sat down on the floor. His hands were shaking; he couldn’t undo the ribbon for ages, and he felt somewhat discouraged.

Ning Yixiao sat down beside him, reached out, and slowly untied the bow, opening the box.

The cake was beautiful, fully justifying the effort Su Hui had put in. In Ning Yixiao’s eyes, it was better than any cake in the windows of the expensive dessert shops in New York.

“Ning Yixiao,” Su Hui called his name.

Ning Yixiao was almost amused, reminding him that everyone else was asleep in the living room. “Keep it down.”

So, Su Hui whispered it again, “Ning Yixiao.”

“Hmm?”

“It’s your birthday, your 21st birthday.”

Ning Yixiao guessed he was too drunk. Though he felt a sting of sadness, he corrected him gently, “It’s my 27th.”

Su Hui turned his head to stare at his face, his eyes unfocused, revealing disbelief. “You’re 27?”

Ning Yixiao nodded. “Mm.”

Su Hui reacted for a long time, then dropped his head in disappointment. “Okay, then I need 27 candles. I don’t know if I have enough…”

His focus was strange, yet very much like him.

Ning Yixiao didn’t think he could count that high right now. “Just use one.”

Su Hui struggled to dismantle the candle box, fished one out, tried for a long time, and planted it in the center of the cake.

“A lighter…”

Ning Yixiao found one and handed it to him. But the lighter seemed to be struggling; Su Hui pressed it several times before finally lighting the lonely candle.

Perhaps it looked too lonely; he had a sudden inspiration, found another one, planted it beside the first, and lit it.

“Make a wish,” Su Hui smiled at Ning Yixiao.

Ning Yixiao said, “I have no wishes left to make now.”

Su Hui frowned, relentless. “Just think of one.”

“Will it come true if I think of it?” he countered.

Su Hui stalled. Under the influence of alcohol, his expression was difficult, his tone and inflection floating, his speech slurred, but he was very earnest. “Not necessarily. They say… if you say it out loud, it won’t be effective…”

Ning Yixiao smiled.

As if afraid he wouldn’t make a wish, Su Hui immediately compensated, “Just don’t say it, and it will come true.”

So, Ning Yixiao followed his advice, closed his eyes, and a thought flashed briefly through his mind, fleeting.

Opening his eyes, Ning Yixiao blew out the candles, but only one went out; the other flickered for a moment, remaining lit.

“You do this one,” he said to Su Hui.

“…Why?” Su Hui was so drunk he wasn’t clear-headed; he subconsciously reached out to grab the flame.

Ning Yixiao’s heart tightened; he reached out and grabbed Su Hui’s wrist.

The candle went out on its own.

Su Hui’s heart beat so fast it felt like it was going to burst out, as if it no longer belonged to him.

He thought of the phrase “where the heart leans,” but quickly extinguished it and pulled his hand back.

“Happy birthday,” he said, flustered, not daring to look at Ning Yixiao as he whispered his blessing.

Feeling dizzy, Su Hui braced himself on the floor, afraid he would collapse the next second. “…Don’t you want to taste the cake?”

“Okay.” Ning Yixiao picked up a knife, cut a small slice of the buttercream cake, separated a bit with a fork, and tasted it.

“It’s very good.”

His adjectives were always limited. Su Hui was used to it, but being drunk made him different, so he asked intentionally, “And?”

“It’s very sweet,” Ning Yixiao added.

Su Hui smiled. He picked up the cake knife, intending to cut a small piece to try, but noticed it was already covered in buttercream. Without thinking, almost subconsciously, he took it and licked the tip with his tongue.

His consciousness was nearing dissolution. Cream was smeared on his lips, his hair was loose and falling beside his face.

“It is a bit sweet.”

Putting down the knife, Su Hui lowered his head and began fumbling in his pockets.

“Looking for something?” Ning Yixiao asked as he watched him.

“I want to smoke…” Su Hui whispered. “I’m out of cigarettes.”

Ning Yixiao produced a pack from somewhere—the Marlboro Auroras he used to love. He pulled one out and handed it to Su Hui.

Su Hui held the cigarette to his lips, reached for the finicky lighter, and after a long struggle, finally lit it.

A tiny red glow ignited. Su Hui gripped the white cigarette with his long, slender fingers, turned his head, and exhaled a gray mist.

“Su Hui.”

He heard Ning Yixiao call him. He turned back, his movements very slow, his voice soft and listless. “Hmm?”

In the dark of the night, Ning Yixiao’s eyes were deep and bright, completely reflecting Su Hui’s face, and only his face.

He asked, “Where is my gift?”

Su Hui thought he was drunk too, as he had clearly already said.

“I told you, it’s not finished yet… stop asking me, change the question.” His tone was like he was coquettishly complaining.

Ning Yixiao did as he was asked, changing the question.

“You said my birthday wish would come true, really?”

Su Hui smiled and shook his head. “I don’t know.”

“So you were lying to me,” Ning Yixiao stared at him.

“I don’t know,” he repeated vaguely. “It will come true. You can have anything you want now; you’re very capable.”

Smoke curled around his face, obscuring his features like a beautiful, lonely island wreathed in mist that only appeared in dreams and vanished upon waking.

Ning Yixiao gazed at him. “Does it become void if I say it out loud?”

Su Hui said very softly, almost in a breath: “It should be.”

He flashed a childlike smile and leaned in close to Ning Yixiao’s face. “You’re definitely not going to tell me anyway.”

But the next second, Ning Yixiao also leaned in, the distance suddenly closing until there were only a few centimeters left between them, a distance that could be ignored.

The cigarette was snatched from his fingers. Su Hui felt as if his final shred of reason had been extracted, leaving him only with feeling. Ning Yixiao’s warm breath surrounded him—so close, with the rich aroma of wine.

The refrigerator light illuminated Ning Yixiao’s profile—lines, contours, angles. Every inch was so familiar, touched and kissed countless times, lost, and in these six years, belonging to no one else.

But it should not, and would not, belong to him again.

“Given the current situation, I should probably ask you first.”

Su Hui didn’t understand, letting out a simple, innocent syllable. “Hmm?”

“But,” Ning Yixiao stared into Su Hui’s eyes, “if I must make this wish come true, I can’t ask your opinion first. Otherwise, it won’t be effective. That’s what you said.”

Su Hui was lost, his thoughts chaotic. He didn’t fully understand the words, so he just stared.

Ning Yixiao lifted a hand, took off his glasses, and kissed him.

It was a kiss mixed with lemon juice and buttercream, enveloped in alcohol and cigarette smoke. They hid behind the kitchen island, in front of the refrigerator, tipsily doing what only the versions of them from six years ago would do.

It was very dangerous, but also very short.

So short that Su Hui’s instinctive rejection and push were meaningless before Ning Yixiao pulled away.

Su Hui could barely breathe, his lips still slightly parted, half the cream gone from his mouth, his chest rising and falling. He had lost his reason, leaving only gasps.

“That was my birthday wish.”

He was very honest, the corner of his mouth hooked up. He took the cigarette snatched from Su Hui’s hand and exhaled a smoke ring onto Su Hui’s face.

“It’s already come true. I can tell you now.”