Chapter 60: N. Two-Way Jealousy

Su Hui couldn’t guess. “Because my acting skills are too poor.”

Ning Yixiao smiled slightly. “Being good-looking is enough; it’s not like you need to enter the entertainment industry.”

Being complimented on his appearance by him made Su Hui’s ears redden, especially in a setting like this. He retreated into the quilt, watching Ning Yixiao dressed neatly, as if he were about to leave immediately.

“Are you in a hurry to get back to the Bay Area?” The morning light and tree shadows shone through the large glass window, casting over Su Hui’s face like a painting.

Ning Yixiao shook his head. “Didn’t you say you wanted to feed the birds?” His finger tapped the watch face. “Six o’clock; there’s still time.”

Su Hui nodded immediately. In truth, Ning Yixiao hadn’t said anything particularly special, but Su Hui felt enveloped in delight.

Moving quickly to get dressed and wash up, Su Hui wanted to head downstairs immediately, but he was caught by Ning Yixiao. Following his instructions, he ate another small piece of cake before they went down together.

In the crisp morning of winter, the birdsong wasn’t as noisy as in spring or summer; it appeared occasionally, clear and pleasant. The two walked side-by-side on the forest path. It wasn’t particularly intimate, but Su Hui felt it was just as sweet as a hug or a kiss.

“Have you ever seen a red-headed woodpecker?”

Su Hui turned his head to ask Ning Yixiao, but all he got was a shake of the head.

“No.”

“But you said there might be some here.”

“The staff said so; it’s my first time here too.”

Su Hui looked toward the lake, where a small group of wild ducks floated. He was very happy and couldn’t help but pull on Ning Yixiao’s wrist. “Look over there, those should be mallards, right?”

“Aren’t they mandarin ducks?” Ning Yixiao asked.

“I don’t think so. Do they have mandarin ducks abroad?”

Neither of them was sure. They chatted casually. Ning Yixiao somehow produced a small bag of grain and handed it to Su Hui. Su Hui used the grain to attract many small birds: sparrows, chickadees, and wild geese.

“There are more and more of them.” He crouched on the ground to feed them, turning back with a smile. “Ning Yixiao, look at this one…”

The moment he turned back, Su Hui froze. Ning Yixiao was sitting on the iron bench beside him, and on his right shoulder perched a tiny blue robin—the first time Su Hui had seen one too.

“So beautiful…” He wanted to get closer but was afraid of scaring it, so he took out his phone and snapped a photo.

The instant he pressed the shutter, Ning Yixiao happened to turn his head toward the little bird on his shoulder, his side profile strikingly handsome.

Sure enough, as soon as the photo was taken, Ning Yixiao reached out to touch the bird’s head, scaring it away instantly.

He was truly just like Su Hui.

“Let me see the photo you took.” Ning Yixiao didn’t intend to get up.

Su Hui walked over. “I think it’s pretty good.” He handed his phone to Ning Yixiao. “Look, isn’t it beautiful? Robins are ‘God’s birds’; I thought I wouldn’t encounter one in winter. It’s so beautiful.”

He said to Ning Yixiao in a very sincere tone, “This is a good omen. Everything will go very smoothly for you this year; all your wishes will come true.”

Ning Yixiao curled his lips and returned the phone.

Will all my wishes really come true?

“Is it nice here?” he asked Su Hui. “You must really like places like this.”

“Mm.” Su Hui nodded. “Sometimes I really hope to hide in a place like this, where no one needs me, just let me stay quietly alone, walk by the lake, lie on the lawn and space out—in short, do a lot of useless things. That would be just fine. I’m very afraid of being pushed along, and I hate being pressured with every decision. Living in the city, every second and every minute, people are pushing me; it’s very tiring.”

Ning Yixiao understood him very well. Su Hui’s life desperately needed blank spaces, needed pauses.

If he was pushed too hard, he would only choose to run away and disappear, just like a little bird.

“The professor sent me a message asking if I want to leave with them,” Su Hui said while replying to the message.

Ning Yixiao stood up, intending to drive him to the airport.

“This professor of yours seems like a good person.”

“Right? He’s very kind.” Su Hui couldn’t help but sigh. “If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t be where I am today, still able to be a teaching assistant at such a good school. I wouldn’t even have dared to think of it.”

This was the first time Su Hui didn’t resist talking about what happened after they broke up.

But Ning Yixiao was actually confused. Even if Su Hui’s relatives had passed away one after another, he shouldn’t have fallen to this extent. What exactly happened during that time?

He had asked Karl to find people to investigate, but across the ocean, the information gap was hard to fill overnight. It required exchanging favors for favors, and even now, he hadn’t received any truly effective information.

Su Hui never mentioned it, even intentionally avoiding it. Asking him wouldn’t yield results and would only be counterproductive.

But the possibilities Ning Yixiao could think of were only a few. The Ji family members were all gone; the only beneficiary could only be Xu Zhi.

What methods he used to swallow everything up, Ning Yixiao didn’t know.

Su Hui was still praising Professor White. Ning Yixiao snapped back to reality and said with a smile, “You have a lot of good people around you.”

Su Hui agreed with this. Perhaps because he was in a manic phase, his thinking was clearly faster than his speech when he talked. Whatever came to mind, he said without hesitation, speaking very quickly.

“Yeah, there was a head nurse before who was very good to me, caring for me like family and looking after me…”

He stopped abruptly at this point.

Ning Yixiao noticed this but pretended not to hear.

“Because I was quite serious for a period of time, you know, being hospitalized.” Su Hui breezed past it. “By the way, where did you park your car?”

If it were a normal hospitalization, Su Hui wouldn’t be so nervous.

Ning Yixiao thought that perhaps their direction of investigation had been wrong from the beginning. Since Xu Zhi dared to do it, he must have cleaned up the aftermath very carefully. With the resources Xu Zhi had domestically, it was hard to find out.

He should start by working backward from Su Hui’s experiences.

These were all Plan B. If possible, Ning Yixiao still preferred to hear Su Hui confess it himself; after all, investigating an ex behind their back wasn’t ethical.

At the airport, Su Hui reunited with the professor’s group. Ning Yixiao also stepped up to greet them and handed Professor White his business card. Out of politeness, the professor returned his own, exchanged some pleasantries, and they parted ways.

Su Hui watched him leave the terminal, feeling a bit lonely. This emotion persisted until he boarded the plane. Even though he hadn’t slept all night, he didn’t feel the slightest bit of fatigue during the flight, his mind going over everything from last night repeatedly.

He had no one to talk to and had habitually controlled his urge to express things within his own mind—like a split personality, talking to himself to consume the excessively exuberant energy of his manic phase.

Returning to New York, it was already the afternoon. Su Hui went back to his apartment alone. Xuegao greeted him with great enthusiasm, rubbing and licking him, leaving Su Hui between laughter and tears.

“Are you this enthusiastic with everyone?” Su Hui tapped its wet nose with his fingertip. “Is every guest like this?”

Xuegao barked and wagged its tail.

“Really?” Su Hui pretended to be angry. “Then if someone else comes, you’ll want to hug them too?”

Xuegao hesitated for a moment but barked again.

“Then you go and hug someone else.” Su Hui stood up, but wherever he walked, Xuegao followed, never leaving his side.

“Stupid little dog.”

Taking advantage of his high energy and work efficiency nearing its peak, Su Hui ran between the studio and the hotel every day, working overtime to complete Bella’s installation art. Because the scale was very large—covering nearly 400 square meters—Su Hui also brought four or five students to help.

He had looked at Chloe’s photo album in advance and made many adjustments, hanging every work himself and adjusting the best lighting for them to be viewed.

In the end, even Chloe couldn’t help but praise, “Eddy, you shouldn’t just be a teaching assistant.”

Su Hui smiled. “A teaching assistant is fine, too. I don’t really care about job titles; it’s all the same to me.”

“She means you should be a great artist,” Bella said with a smile. “How about we go eat something good after this finishes, as a celebration? This exhibition is considered a collaboration between you two, and now the media is reporting on it, calling it a fusion of two art forms.”

Chloe nodded and invited Su Hui, “I agree; let’s go together.”

Just as they were speaking, a familiar figure approached. “Dining out? I want to go too! How can you not bring me?”

“Luka, it’s almost over and you only just show up now,” Bella complained in jest.

“I told you to call me Jingming, Miss Jones.” Jingming smiled. “It’s just that I was delayed by something. It’s settled, you can’t leave me behind.”

“Then we’ll reluctantly bring you.”

Just like that, Su Hui followed Bella and the others to a dining bar at Hudson Yards. It was crowded, but Bella knew the owner and had saved the best seats for them, overlooking the night view of Hudson Yards.

“The alcohol here is good.” Bella handed her coat to the waiter. “See what you guys want to eat.”

Su Hui’s tolerance for alcohol wasn’t great. Afraid of doing something terrifying if he got drunk during his manic phase, he only ordered a low-alcohol cocktail.

Jingming saw his cocktail being served and remembered something interesting. “A while ago I asked Shaw out for a drink, and he said he had work the next day and wouldn’t drink, so I tricked him, saying it would be fine to have a few cocktails.”

Chloe had already guessed it. “So what did you order for him?”

“A cocktail called ‘Tomorrow’.” Jingming stifled a laugh. “It’s mixed with all kinds of spirits. I ordered an extra-strength version for him; an ordinary person would pass out after one glass, but Shaw drank five.”

Bella’s eyes widened. “His tolerance is that good? Did he pass out?”

“Of course. Look at the name—why is it called ‘Tomorrow’? Because once you finish this glass, the next time you open your eyes, it’s already the next day.”

Everyone laughed for a while, but Su Hui remembered Ning Yixiao’s blank-out state; that was the first time he had seen Ning Yixiao drunk.

They ate and chatted. Su Hui liked chatting with them—they were like-minded, and coupled with his recent manic state, he needed to vent his urge to express himself, so he said a lot of things at once.

Chloe keenly sensed something. “Eddy is in a great state today. Did something happy happen recently?”

Su Hui hesitated for a moment, poured half a glass of Jingming’s tequila, downed it in one gulp, and then confessed his illness.

“I have bipolar disorder. A few times before when I met everyone, I was in a depressive phase. Now I’m in a manic phase, so I might look like a different person.”

The other three paused, and the topic stopped temporarily, but this uncomfortable silence didn’t last long.

“I know, I have a friend who also has this illness, though she’s much more exaggerated than you. One time at three in the morning, she knocked on my door.” Bella said with a laugh, “We ended up jumping into the sea to swim together.”

“Three in the morning?” Jingming found it incredible.

Bella nodded, eating a piece of corn chip. “But she’s super cute.”

“You’ve had a hard life,” Chloe said.

Bella nodded. “Having a friend like this, maybe I know a bit more than others. You must be very strong to have made it through.”

Su Hui smiled, and Jingming also patted his shoulder. “That’s why I said you and Ning Yixiao are the same—both the type with especially strong vitality.”

Is that so?

Su Hui wasn’t sure.

However, the feeling of confessing was good—not that hard—and being naturally accepted was also very satisfying.

Half an hour later, he began to regret drinking that half glass of tequila; he felt dizzy, so he stood up to go to the restroom to wash his face. When he came out, he suddenly missed Ning Yixiao very much, so he walked to the restaurant’s outdoor smoking area, even though he didn’t have any cigarettes.

Getting some fresh air was good, to blow away these not-so-good longings and let them dissipate.

Leaning against the railing, Su Hui looked down. Below was a giant pinecone-shaped building, very peculiar. He squinted his eyes to observe it carefully.

Suddenly, a man’s voice appeared beside him.

“Good evening.” It was a tall, brown-haired white man, about thirty years old, dressed very much like an Englishman.

Su Hui turned his head and gave him a polite smile. “Good evening.”

“I noticed you just now. When you were washing your hands in the restroom, I was standing next to you.” The man smiled and extended a hand. “My name is William.”

Su Hui hesitated for a moment. “Eddy.”

But he didn’t shake his hand.

“Smoke?” William handed over a cigarette and intended to light it for him.

Su Hui’s face carried a weariness, his long hair fluttering in the wind, which he tucked behind his ear. “No need, thanks.”

He intended to leave, but the other party didn’t seem to intend to give up just like that. “This is my business card. Can we be friends?”

Su Hui stared at him with a bit of defensive caution. William’s face was completely written with “I know we are the same kind,” which instead made Su Hui weary.

He was a strange person; he didn’t like approaches with ulterior motives, didn’t like physical contact, and would want to run away. In a sense, he really was like a cat.

But Su Hui would still observe basic social etiquette, so he took the business card, but said very straightforwardly: “I have a dating partner.”

“That doesn’t stop you from having a new one, does it?”

Su Hui curled his lips. The slight disdain in his eyes, which wasn’t obvious, looked like an invitation to others.

“Of course, it’s just that I’ve liked this one for six years. You know, people only fall in love with things they can’t get.”

Having said that, he turned, pulled open the glass door, and returned to the dining bar.

Jingming was sitting there chatting and happened to see this scene through the glass. Acting on the principle of watching the fun without fear of the size, he immediately took a photo and sent it to Ning Yixiao.

[Jingming: Look quickly, your ex’s charm is truly great. He went to the terrace to sober up and got hit on by a handsome guy.]

Ning Yixiao actually replied to him instantly.

[Workaholic: Who let you take him out to drink?]

Jingming could almost imagine his tone.

[Jingming: Teehee, it was Bella who organized the gathering.]

When he returned to his seat, Su Hui heard them chatting about gossip. At first, he wasn’t clear about the object of the gossip, only hearing words like “sent a huge bouquet of flowers” and “specifically ran to the company to block someone.”

“Julian?” Jingming asked Bella. “Julian Ford? His dad has a film company in Hollywood, right?”

Bella nodded. “That’s him. You remember, right? He was also at S University. Even back then, he had a bit of interest in Shaw.”

Su Hui froze. Only then did he realize that the person at the center of the gossip was Ning Yixiao.

“Right,” Jingming said, finally remembering. “He did pursue Shaw and even said he wanted to invest in him, but he was rejected by Ning Yixiao.”

Rejected…

“That’s so good, rushing to throw money at him.” Bella drank her wine and laughed, “Fortunately, he didn’t catch him back then; otherwise, I wouldn’t have even been able to find someone for a fake engagement.”

“Did he know you two were fake engaged?” Chloe asked.

Bella also thought it was strange. “Oh yeah, how did he know? Could it be that Shaw told him?”

Chloe asked again, “Does Shaw have contact with him?”

“Didn’t she say it just now? This guy even ran to the Bay Area—sending flowers and gifts.” Jingming wasn’t there, but he guessed, “They probably meet quite a bit recently.”

Su Hui felt he was truly drunk—drunk to the point where his thinking was blocked and he couldn’t say a word.

The names [Julian] and [Ning Yixiao] kept appearing in his mind, drawing closer and closer, finally turning into two small red hearts and sticking together.

Hallucinations are truly terrifying.

Jingming noticed his silence and felt he shouldn’t have said so much, so he immediately tried to make up for it. “But I think he’s completely not Shaw’s type; it’s unlikely.”

Su Hui felt he couldn’t breathe.

Just then, a waiter walked up and placed a blue cocktail in front of Su Hui, with a napkin underneath.

“Excuse me, this was sent to you by that gentleman in the dark blue coat over there. Please enjoy.”

Su Hui didn’t need to look to know it was that same person from just now.

“Wow, Blue Hawaii.”

“Eddy, your popularity with women is truly high; from the moment you sat down until now, several people have been itching to make a move.”

“Eddy is just very charming.”

Su Hui didn’t feel happy. He lowered his head and took a glance at the napkin beside the cup, on which a line of text was written.

[You’re right, so I don’t intend to give up.]

The other side had the contact information left by William, different from the business card; it looked like a private number.

Su Hui had just wanted to drink something to shift his focus, and since a drink had arrived, he downed half of it in one go and tucked the napkin into his pocket.

This was naturally broadcast by Jingming to Ning Yixiao.

[Jingming: Your backyard is about to catch fire.]

“What were we saying just now?” Su Hui was a bit drunk, leaning back in his chair looking at Bella sitting opposite.

“That’s all the intelligence I have.” Bella shrugged. “That Julian is just a very enthusiastic person. I didn’t expect that even after so many years, he hasn’t forgotten Shaw. I even suspect he just found out we were only faking it, so he immediately went to find Shaw while the iron was hot.”

Chloe analyzed it. “Could it be because your engagement ceremony was too crude? The circle is so small; after being passed around, it’s also very obvious.”

“Who knows? Let’s not talk about them anymore.” Bella took a paper proposal out of her bag and handed it to Su Hui.

Su Hui was stunned and reached out to take it. “What is this? It wouldn’t be another installation art needed for a new engagement ceremony, would it?”

Everyone laughed. Bella quickly explained, “No, look, this is my sincere invitation. Eddy, you absolutely must promise me.”

Su Hui lowered his head. His current state wasn’t suitable for reading; every word seemed to be dancing, and he vaguely saw the word “model.”

“Model?”

“Exactly.” Bella leaned closer, face sincere. “I’m doing a Spring/Summer haute couture series recently. Apart from the runway, I need a fashion blockbuster that has a memorable quality. Because this haute couture ready-to-wear has a very big change from previous designs, I also want to choose a new face for the print model.”

Chloe added for her, “She has already auditioned four batches; there wasn’t a candidate who matched the image in her mind.”

Su Hui’s first reaction was self-doubt, even in his manic phase, he didn’t believe he could cross into such a large field.

“But I’m a complete blank in this area; I might not be able to give you the effect you want, and I might not even match the feeling you’re talking about.”

The concept of “feeling” was subtle, to begin with, not to mention he was a blank slate without any so-called fashion expressiveness.

“You are the most fitting one, believe me.” Bella stretched out her hand to flip through the proposal, flipping to the sketches in the back. “Look, this outfit is one I designed with you as inspiration. Eddy, you really are very special. Believe in my judgment.”

Jingming also nodded. “Maybe it really will spark something, who knows. Look at that famous illustrator artist recently who also moonlights as a model, and Julian, the one I just mentioned—he’s also a model and fashion director…”

But soon he realized that this cross-border example wasn’t very clever.

Bella quickly said, “The theme of this season is ‘fleeting’. It needs to express fragility, lightness, and instability. I feel no one can interpret these keywords better than you. Just shoot a set of photos; Chloe is behind the lens. It’s very simple.”

Su Hui’s head was a bit dizzy; he couldn’t make a decision properly.

“Let me read the proposal carefully after I go back, and then give you an answer, okay?”

On the way back, he hitched a ride in Jingming’s car. The overly flashy sports car gave him a great sense of insecurity, but fortunately, Jingming was a very interesting person who was good at chatting.

Arriving near the apartment, he stood on the roadside to say goodbye to Jingming and walked slowly into the building, where he was stopped by the property receiving staff, who handed him a package.

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. Actually, it arrived on the 28th of last month; you hadn’t picked it up.”

Su Hui felt a bit apologetic. “I’ve been too busy lately; I’m really sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

His phone suddenly vibrated. He walked to the elevator with the package, freed up a hand to put on his earphones. It was Ning Yixiao.

Su Hui was slightly tipsy, his tone lazy, light as a feather.

“What’s wrong?”

Ning Yixiao paused. “Didn’t you see the message I sent?”

Su Hui had wanted to look at it now, but he couldn’t spare a hand, so he gave up. “No, I’m outside; I haven’t looked at my phone.”

“I see you’ve adapted quite well to life in New York.”

Su Hui didn’t hear that there was anything wrong with his tone. His reaction was a bit slow. He exited the elevator, returned home, and accepted Xuegao’s enthusiastic embrace.

“Be good, miss me?” His tone when speaking to Xuegao was always very affectionate; at this moment, because of the alcohol, it sounded even more bewitching.

“Did you miss me a lot? Want a hug…”

Ning Yixiao was silent for a moment. When he spoke again, his voice became even deeper. “Su Hui.”

“Hm?” Su Hui was burying his head in the side of Xuegao’s neck.

“Don’t go out drinking casually. Do you not know what you look like when you’re drunk?”

“What do I look like?” Su Hui chuckled softly. “Do you mean the way I’ll cling to you and want to find you to sleep with?”

He heard Ning Yixiao’s breathing become obviously heavier, but couldn’t tell if it was an intake of breath or a sigh.

“That’s not what I meant.” He explained with suppressed patience. “You have no defenses when you’re drunk; you say whatever comes to mind and do whatever you want—it’s very easy to be taken advantage of.”

“Taken advantage of…” Su Hui lazily repeated his words, lowering his head to unwrap the packaging of the parcel. He saw a card with printed font on it.

[Eddy, Happy New Year.

-From Sean]

Only then did Su Hui remember that Sean had also sent a gift. His mood improved a lot. He took the blue gift box out of the package, tore it open, and found it was a small, thin booklet. The cover was a hand-drawn butterfly.

To be precise, it was an album, because after opening it, he found that it contained photos of the work he had previously exhibited in Seattle—the “net” he had made, placed in a snow-white room with a large floor-to-ceiling window in the back, and the beautiful ocean outside.

Every page was printed with a photo. At a glance, the front and back photos didn’t seem to have any difference, but Su Hui noticed that there were small hand-drawn butterflies in the bottom right corner, with minute differences in the front and back pages.

Not knowing where the thought came from, Su Hui bent the booklet, pressed his thumb on the side, and let go, letting it flip quickly page by page.

In that instant, all the photos combined into a smooth, dynamic sequence—the countless paper butterflies he had folded danced in the wind, while the background of the photos shifted from sunrise to sunset, and finally settled into a gloomy, deep night.

And the small butterfly in the bottom right corner, acting as a clue, also fluttered its wings as the pages flipped.

Hundreds of photos composed the complete “one day” of this work.

It wasn’t easy to produce such a good effect. Su Hui knew very well that it required spending a massive amount of time to shoot at fixed times and locations, choose photos well, and set the position and layout of each photo without error; otherwise, it wouldn’t be this smooth after flipping.

Emotion and resonance extended within Su Hui’s heart. He had never thought that someone would treat his work so earnestly and give feedback in such a way, just as if they had plucked out a beautiful day and shared it with him.

The theme of this work was “Your Birth,” and he had just happened to receive it on his birthday—it was simply like a birthday gift.

“Su Hui?”

Ning Yixiao called him a few times and found there was no response. His mood began to drop. He deliberately knocked over a cup on the table, making a sound.

Su Hui came back to his senses. “Hm? I’m here, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, accidentally knocked something over.”

Ning Yixiao was a bit jealous. So this person would even lose his train of thought when on the phone with him. “What are you doing?”

Su Hui flipped through the album again, his tone carrying a smile. “Looking at my gift.”

“Gift?”

Ning Yixiao thought of the photo Jingming sent him, that disgusting cocktail. He suppressed his emotions and pretended to be relaxed.

“Teacher Su’s charm is no small thing; you receive gifts wherever you go. Who sent this one this time?”

Su Hui’s head was groggy. He inexplicably thought of the gossip Bella talked about at the bar, and then associated it with the huge bouquet of flowers in Ning Yixiao’s office—that was a gift Ning Yixiao had received—so he wasn’t that happy either.

Banking on the fact that Ning Yixiao wasn’t in front of him, Su Hui, emboldened by the alcohol, deliberately provoked him, lightly returning the exact words Ning Yixiao had once said to him.

“You guess?”