PBMM CH35

He Qing slept very restlessly. Even lying in the man’s embrace, his gauze-wrapped hands disregarded the pain and stubbornly clutched Feng Xinyang’s clothes, refusing to let him leave. Zhao He’s heart was full of complexity. He watched the youth from afar. In A-Qing’s eyes, at this time… had they still not broken up?

Eight years had passed. The deep affection and sweet love of the past had long been completely forgotten by Zhao He. All he remembered was the pain of learning he had been betrayed, and the hatred… Now, standing from an observer’s perspective, he finally realized just how much the A-Qing of the past had relied on him.

Even though he was currently mistaking someone else for him—

Watching helplessly as the youth called his name while relying on another person, he couldn’t even articulate for a moment what kind of emotions were surging in his heart. These emotions reached their peak when Feng Xinyang tried to leave, and the deeply sleeping youth reflexively grabbed him, refusing to let him go.

—Ever since hearing the noise earlier, Yan Xizhi had been covering the injured half of his face, terrified of scaring He Qing. However, from beginning to end, the youth never spared him a single glance. The man felt bitter in his heart, yet on the surface, he forcefully pulled Zhao He outside. Ning Feng didn’t join them; he stood by the door, watching He Qing lean dependently in Feng Xinyang’s embrace, his body motionless, as if frozen in place.

“Zhao He, eight years ago, what exactly happened to A-Qing!” Yan Xizhi got straight to the point and asked directly, “His memory is stuck in eight years ago, but from the moment he woke up, he became overly dependent on Feng Xinyang and is even terrified of everyone’s touch. Back then, how did you save A-Qing, and what did he encounter!”

Faced with Yan Xizhi’s questioning, Zhao He knew absolutely nothing. He was also very confused. “I didn’t, I never saved A-Qing…”

Thinking of the way the youth had just thrown himself into Feng Xinyang’s embrace as if he had found salvation, murmuring his name over and over, Zhao He clutched his faintly throbbing head, trying hard to recall what exactly happened back then.

It was just that over these past eight years, he had deliberately forced himself not to think of the youth’s good qualities, only repeatedly recalling that humiliating day. He had fallen from grace, and the lover who had promised to be together for a lifetime left without saying goodbye, leaving behind an insulting letter…

“The letter was forged by Lin Wan.” Yan Xizhi’s expression remained unchanged, his tone flat. “And the phone call on the day A-Qing had his accident, that was also made by Lin Wan.”

He looked at the man who suddenly stiffened and stared at him in disbelief, a malicious smile curling up on his twisted half-face.

Since A-Qing suffered because of Zhao He, then let Zhao He suffer too.

Let him understand what exactly he had missed out on.

Yan Xizhi twitched his wound, speaking slowly and methodically in a hoarse voice, “The very first day you met A-Qing, I got in touch with Lin Wan. Why A-Qing suddenly transferred schools back then, I don’t know, but I do know that Lin Wan definitely played a huge part in it.”

The man, whose other half of the face was still beautiful and exquisite, revealed a self-deprecating smile. “I wanted A-Qing, but he loved you, loved Feng Xinyang, and just didn’t love me.” The regret in Yan Xizhi’s heart almost crushed him entirely, yet under Zhao He’s disbelieving gaze, he slowly revealed the truth. “I thought that as long as A-Qing understood that you two didn’t care about him at all, he would give up on you and be with me. I just never expected…”

He never expected that one wrong step would lead to every step being wrong. From the moment he decided to use such disgusting, underhanded methods to try and obtain the youth, the ending was already sealed.

He somewhat pathetically covered his eyes so his tears wouldn’t be seen, his voice remaining hoarse and desolate. “I knew from the very beginning that you misunderstood A-Qing. Because of my own selfish desires, I kept it hidden. Zhao He, since the person A-Qing thought of until the very end was still you, even if it’s an act! You have to put on the act of the person he loves!”

“As long as A-Qing is immersed in the past and can’t remember the vn incident, there might still be a sliver of hope.” Yan Xizhi lowered his hand, staring straight at the long-frozen Zhao He with bloodshot eyes. “Consider it… paying off your debt.”

After Zhao He left in a daze, Yan Xizhi closed his eyes. Tears slid down from his wound, bringing a sharp sting of pain. Because it hadn’t been treated, the injury on his face worsened, making him look even more like a demon. The once arrogant, exquisite man looked at the ugly monster reflected in the glass, a bitter smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

Not enough. This still wasn’t enough.

Compared to the suffering A-Qing endured, what did his amount to?

Whoever had bullied A-Qing, whoever’s hands had brought him pain—he would help A-Qing return it, bit by bit!

He raised a red, swollen, and bruised hand, pressing it viciously against the wound. The bleeding, which had stopped not long ago, resumed. It hurt, and it was agonizing, yet Yan Xizhi acted as if he couldn’t feel the pain, deepening the wound in a masochistic manner. Pus, fresh blood—the face in the glass became even uglier.

The man lowered his hand, his eyes full of madness. He would definitely help A-Qing drag those people down to hell!

—Including himself.

————

“We understand that the patient’s memory has regressed to eight years ago, and it seems to be stuck in his most fragile period, when he needed help the most. The direct impact is a fear of human contact, world-weariness, and extreme dependence on the person who saved him at that time.”

The psychologist spoke eloquently, “Although the patient’s memories are somewhat chaotic right now, the silver lining is that he is immersed in his own illusions and has completely forgotten about vn. This situation is extremely beneficial for our treatment. Furthermore, his trust in Mr. Feng…” He paused, looking at the man across from him who had been keeping a dark face the whole time, and corrected himself: “His immense trust in you, Mr. Zhao, presents a high probability that the patient will rely on this trust to get through the vn withdrawal period.”

Zhao He rested his hand on the chair, asking in a deep voice, “A-Qing said I saved him, but in my memory, he never encountered any danger, and I never saved him.”

The psychologist was taken aback for a moment, then said somewhat uncertainly, “There is another possibility. Eight years ago, the patient encountered something he found unacceptable. At that time, there was no one who saved him, so in his illusions, you were woven into his memory by the patient, fabricating a false scenario of being saved by you.”

The hand the man rested on the chair forcefully tightened. He stared dead at the doctor. “Are you saying A-Qing fabricated a version of me protecting him?”

He didn’t know what exactly happened eight years ago, but just a fleeting glance at the youth’s broken, terrified state was enough to make Zhao He’s heart palpitate. He uncontrollably recalled all the details of the past over and over again, but there was nothing, absolutely nothing!

If A-Qing truly went through something alone eight years ago, as a teenager, how terrified must he have been…

Zhao He’s grip grew increasingly forceful, veins popping out, yet he remained unaware. Ultimately, he asked hoarsely, “Is it possible that someone did appear to protect A-Qing back then, but was replaced by me in his memories?”

The gloomy man looked at the doctor almost pleadingly, but the ultimate response was a resolute shake of the head. “Only when one hasn’t received protection would they fabricate a person to protect themselves. The memories he fabricated out of fear are not airtight, which is why his mental state has constantly been on the verge of collapse, leading to him mistaking one person for another. When the patient’s mental state completely collapses, no one knows what he might do to protect himself. I advise you to mentally prepare yourself.”

What would A-Qing do…

What exactly happened back then…

In a complete daze, Zhao He walked all the way to the hospital room. He pushed open the door and saw the youth quietly sitting on the edge of the bed, head tilted up, looking out the window. Like a man possessed, the man walked in. Almost the moment his foot hit the floor, He Qing turned his head like a startled rabbit. Seeing it was Zhao He, he was so terrified he shrank entirely into the corner.

Hugging the blanket, he hid himself behind it, trembling all over. His already red and swollen eyes shed tears pitter-patter, yet he forcefully didn’t make a single sound, as if by doing so, no one would hurt him anymore.

In his daze, Zhao He seemed to hear a teenager’s crisp, vibrant voice.

“A-He! Where should we go play on Sunday? Let’s go pick fruit, okay?”

“A-He, A-He! Look, I got second place!”

“So happy just over second place, if you got first, you’d fly right up to heaven!” The handsome teenager smiled dotingly and tapped the slightly shorter, delicate teenager’s nose, his eyes full of amusement.

The delicate teenager giggled nonchalantly, “Because A-He is first, I want to be closer to A-He!”

“Silly, you and I aren’t even in the same class.”

“Then next time I’ll get first place, and we can both be first together!”

“A-He! This is a present for you…” The teenager shyly handed over a box, awkwardly wringing his fingers. “Don’t you always say my hands are pretty? I asked my mom, if you want your hands to look prettier, just stick these on.”

“A-He, if you use one every day, your hands will look pretty very soon!”

The handsome teenager, not knowing whether to laugh or cry, opened the box, only to find a pile of hand masks. He couldn’t help but laugh out loud. Under the delicate teenager’s embarrassed and confused gaze, he lifted his hand and kissed it. “What I like are A-Qing’s hands. They look pretty, and kissing them feels good too!”

“A-He!!” Startled by the sudden kiss, the delicate teenager blushed bright red. After huffing for a bit, he finally muttered awkwardly in a low voice, “Fine then, I’ll take good care of my hands. I’m going to be a doctor in the future anyway!”

A doctor…

Zhao He stared blankly at the youth before him, who was biting the corner of the blanket, shedding tears silently, his eyes full of terror. His two hands were tightly wrapped, their original appearance indiscernible. The memories deliberately hidden over these past eight years swarmed forward in the face of these ruined hands.

“A-Qing…” With his eyes wide open, Zhao He reached out. Looking at his own flawless, uninjured hands, tears fell blankly.

“So it turns out… I am the traitor…”

[Ding! Zhao He favorability: 99. Please keep up the good work, Host!]