PBMM CH39

Ning Feng wanted to pick him up, but the youth refused. With a pale face and weak legs, he struggled to stand up, smiling as he said, “I still want to walk on my own, let me do it myself.”

The man silently supported him, slowly walking out the door. Zhao He was still kneeling there. Seeing the youth come out, he knelt on the ground and grabbed the hem of his pants, his eyes full of pleading. “A-Qing… let’s start over, okay?”

Seeing the Gundam placed beside him, the youth paled and crouched down, picking it up with some effort. His smile was so pale. “This Gundam, consider it returned to me. A-He, don’t come looking for me anymore.”

“Actually, I really wish I had never met you.”

“You talked about mutual forgiveness, but even if I forgive you…” The youth’s lips were deathly pale, and his eyes were filled with a thirst for life. “I want to live, but you destroyed my chance to survive. Twice.”

“Zhao He, I don’t blame you, and I forgive you. But what you owe me, you can never repay no matter what. So, stop talking about starting over.” A tear fell onto the back of Zhao He’s hand, so scalding hot it felt as if his entire heart had been plunged into boiling water. He gripped the hem of He Qing’s pants tightly, tears slipping down drop by drop. “A-Qing, I can pay you back, I can…”

No matter how much he regretted it or how he begged, the youth still stood up. Like a mermaid who had come ashore, every step he took, every breath he drew, was agonizingly painful. Never before had Zhao He realized so clearly that all the suffering of the person he loved was brought upon by himself.

I’m sorry, A-Qing. Falling in love with me must have been so painful for you…

Zhao He knelt blankly on the ground. He had asked the doctor and confirmed that the youth had absolutely no chance of survival. Just as He Qing said, his internal mechanisms had been almost completely destroyed. The chance of survival was less than one in a hundred thousand.

He wanted to live, but he had no chance left.

How did it come to this point, how could it…

Zhao He leaned against the wall and stumbled to his feet. His legs trembled with every step. The man who usually cared deeply about his image completely disregarded all this. As if to punish himself, even though there was an elevator, he insisted on climbing the stairs step by step. Standing on the hospital’s rooftop, the man looked down, tears flowing blankly.

“A-Qing, I can pay you back…”

He owed him a life, so he would repay it with his life.

——Zhao He spread his arms, closed his eyes, and fell backward.

——

When Yan Xizhi received the news that Zhao He had jumped off a high building, he was keeping watch downstairs at He Qing’s home. His hair was a mess, and the wound on his face was itching. Hearing the news, he only asked one question, “Is he dead?”

Just after asking, his gaze suddenly darkened. The youth was so thin he was practically out of shape. At this moment, he seemed to have come down to throw out the trash, but ran into a middle-aged auntie who pulled him into conversation. From Yan Xizhi’s direction, he couldn’t hear what the auntie was saying, but he could clearly see the pain and embarrassment in He Qing’s expression.

“No, the person is paralyzed now. He’s conscious but can’t move. The Zhao family’s intention is to abandon this heir. Should we continue with what you ordered previously, Young Master Yan? Young Master Yan?”

The youth’s face was deathly pale as he was stopped and questioned endlessly. “Hey, Xiao He, is that photo online really you? When my son told me, I didn’t even believe it. I’ve been wanting to ask you. I heard you got fired from the hospital. Are you having any financial difficulties? We’re all neighbors here, if you need anything just say it. It hasn’t been easy for you, child…”

He Qing kept his head firmly lowered. He wanted to pull back the hand that the middle-aged auntie was tugging on, but he had no strength. His voice was hoarse as he whispered, “Auntie Zhang, I need to go back.”

“Oh my, look at you child…” The middle-aged auntie wanted to say more, but a young man in his twenties happened to come downstairs just then. Seeing the two of them pulling at each other, his expression drastically changed. “Mom!”

He rushed over and rudely flung He Qing’s hand away. “What are you doing! What do you want to do to my mom!”

The youth froze. Before he could even explain, the middle-aged auntie hurriedly said, “What nonsense are you saying? We’re all neighbors. I was just asking if Xiao He had any difficulties, seeing if I could…”

The young man, however, kept a dark face and glared disdainfully at the pale youth. He pushed his mother to head upstairs, complaining, “Mom, don’t be soft-hearted toward this kind of person. The internet says it all. He filmed those disgusting things just to buy luxury goods, and he even bullied female classmates when he was in school. Talking to someone like him, aren’t you afraid of dirtying your eyes?”

He shoved the stunned youth away and escorted his mother upstairs, leaving He Qing standing blankly in place. The sorrow in his eyes made the approaching man’s heart ache.

“A-Qing!” Yan Xizhi nervously looked him up and down. Only after confirming he wasn’t hurt did he sigh in relief. His gaze toward the stairwell then turned ruthless. “I will help you teach them a lesson!”

He was about to go up after speaking, but his arm was pulled back by the youth. His hands hadn’t healed yet. The once exquisitely beautiful hands were swollen and red. Seeing this, Yan Xizhi felt an immense heartache. He carefully reversed his grip and held those hands. “A-Qing?”

“Do you have a cigarette?” The youth’s face was pale as he looked at the man. “I want to smoke.”

“I… I didn’t bring any…” This was the first time the youth had spoken to him in such a long time. Yan Xizhi nervously patted all over his body but couldn’t find one. He kept saying, “I’ll go buy some for you, I’ll be right back. A-Qing, wait for me, I’ll be quick!”

Watching the man run off while speaking, the youth turned around and slowly climbed the stairs.

Yan Xizhi rushed into the nearest supermarket, bought the most expensive cigarettes, and ran all the way back downstairs. But the youth was no longer there. He hesitated for a long time before finally going upstairs.

If A-Qing was unhappy seeing him, then he would just give him the cigarettes and leave.

The higher he went, the more uneasy Yan Xizhi felt. For some reason, he had an ominous feeling. By the time he was about to reach the top floor, he smelled a pungent odor.

Oh no!

Yan Xizhi rushed up quickly. The door to the youth’s home was closed. He kicked the door a few times, but there was no response from inside. In his desperation, he used both his hands and feet to smash the door. Ultimately, at the cost of his hands bleeding, he smashed the door open. As soon as he entered, the pungent smell rushing at his face made the man’s expression change.

He covered his mouth and nose and rushed into the bedroom. Sure enough, the youth was lying quietly on the bed, his face flushed red and his lips a bright cherry color. Yan Xizhi didn’t have time to overthink; he stepped forward to pick the youth up and head outside. But after picking the person up, he saw a piece of paper beside the bed.

— If you find me, please do not save me. Death, for me, is the best release.

“A-Qing—” Yan Xizhi stopped in his tracks. He looked at the tightly shut windows, his tears falling onto the youth’s face. His face, half exquisite and half ugly, was filled with agony. “I’m sorry, A-Qing…”

You want to die, but I want you to live.

So, as the price, let me die in your place!

Ten minutes later, in the old room, Yan Xizhi leaned against the wall. His brain was already somewhat muddled. He took out his small mirror and only looked at the half of his face that was still intact. A smile appeared on that face, which was even more beautiful than a woman’s. The man murmured, “This is great, A-Qing will definitely like it… After all, I’m so good-looking…”

He was smiling, but his eyes were full of sorrow. His hand weakly pulled out the cigarette lighter he had bought for the youth. Leaning against the wall, his hands covered in blood, Yan Xizhi pressed the lighter.

——Boom!!

The top-floor windows of the old building blew out, emitting a violent roar. Yan Xizhi felt a lot of pain, his entire body was hurting, yet in his hazy state, he revealed a happy smile.

— If I am the source of your pain, if I disappear, will you keep living?

In a luxury car downstairs, the youth had his eyes tightly closed, looking as if he were sound asleep. The car door opened, and a pair of long, powerful hands picked him up.

Half a month later.

[The doctor GV filming incident that caused an uproar on the internet recently has been confirmed as a rumor. This photo was taken when the victim suffered from school bullying during his school years. About half a month ago, the perpetrator uploaded this photo to the internet and fabricated a series of fictional stories. This newspaper confirms that the victim, Mr. He, committed suicide in his home half a month ago, unable to bear the rumors. Numerous netizens have left comments, praying for him—]

[The perpetrator, surnamed Lin, is wanted by the police. Here is the photo provided by the authorities. Please contact the police if you see her. Following a court ruling, her accomplices, surnamed Zhang and Liu…]

[The eldest son of the Feng Group, Feng Xinyang, has been confirmed to be ill. Having exhibited self-harm and suicidal behaviors multiple times, he has been sent to a sanatorium—]

The three news stories were pieced together and played on a loop. A pale-faced youth sat in a wheelchair, his lifeless eyes facing the direction of the television. The man beside him gently stroked his hair and asked softly, “A-Qing, are you happy?”

He Qing did not answer.

Ning Feng didn’t mind. The three news stories on the TV kept repeating. The man placed his hand on the youth’s leg, which was so thin it could be grasped with a single hand, gently and carefully massaging it. As he massaged, he spoke softly.

“I went to see Feng Xinyang. He’s crazy now, tied to a bed every day. The nurses there don’t put any effort in either. His hands were tied so tight they turned purple, but they didn’t care. Makes sense, they took money from that illegitimate son of the Feng family.”

“And Zhao He, he’s paralyzed. When I went to see him, his eyes told me he wanted to die. Does A-Qing know why?” The man gently switched to massaging the youth’s calf, whispering as he pressed, “His bones are all shattered. As long as he’s breathing, the pain of shattered bones will always accompany him. When has Zhao He ever suffered like this? In pain every day, unable to move, unable to even cry out in pain. He can’t die, and he can’t live well, so of course he wants to die.”

“A-Qing, don’t worry. I won’t let you end up like that. I will always stay by your side and take good care of you. Until we grow old and our eyes can no longer see clearly, then I’ll take you away with me. Does that sound good?”

— A dead silence.

Ning Feng had long grown accustomed to this silence. In the past, he hated talking nonsense, but now he talked to himself almost every day. He needed to say more things that could stimulate A-Qing, so A-Qing could wake up.

“I found Lin Wan. She was stuck under the bridge near the hospital. Her body was mostly eaten by fish. I don’t know if those fish got poisoned from eating something so disgusting. The forensic doctor said she didn’t drown; she starved to death. She probably fell into the water and climbed under the bridge. There’s a rock there. She got her head out from there but couldn’t get her body out no matter what. She couldn’t move. Her head was above water, her body underwater, and then, she just starved to death alive… Even though she was only found a month later, she probably lasted around seven days stuck there before dying. After all, her mouth was also near the water, so she had water to drink and could last a bit longer. A-Qing, rest assured, before she starved to death, the vn in her system definitely flared up. Everything you experienced, she naturally had to experience it once too, right?”

While the man used gentle words to describe such a terrifying cause of death, he finished massaging the youth’s hands and feet. He looked up, and seeing the beautiful sunlight outside, he asked softly, “Let’s go bask in the sun, okay? The doctor said getting more sun is good for the body.”

The youth blinked, his eyes still vacant. Ning Feng kissed his icy cheek, carefully placed a blanket over his legs, and only then pushed him outside. Just as they reached the garden, they bumped into a neighbor. The blonde, blue-eyed neighbor greeted them, “Ning! Are you and Qing out for a walk?”

“Yes, the weather is beautiful today. He should like it.” Ning Feng smiled and nodded, answering in French before walking past the neighbor.

The friend beside the neighbor asked, “Who is that? Your neighbor?”

“Yes, they are from Hua Country. Qing got sick, so Ning brought him to live in our country. They are a couple. Ning loves Qing very much and takes excellent care of him.”

“What illness does he have? I noticed just now that he didn’t even look at us at all.”

“I don’t know either. He looks like he’s in a vegetative state, but Qing can open his eyes and breathe on his own. His condition makes him look like he’s lost his soul. Ning has been looking for a cure for him, but it seems he hasn’t found one yet.”

“Oh my! I hope he can get better and not make his lover too sad.”

Under the warm sunlight, the standing man pushed the wheelchair, completely unaware that a transparent figure stood right beside him.

[Host, we should go.]

He Qing looked at the man with some hesitation, but ultimately said, [Let’s go.]

——

“Phew!” Enduring the pain in his soul, He Qing stayed in the bathtub for a full hour before he had the strength to step out. It had been an hour; the perfectly warm water had turned cold. The key point was, it was winter right now!

Shivering from the cold, he wrapped a bath towel around himself. He Qing met his misty reflection in the mirror. He reached out to wipe away the condensation, looking at the person inside and falling into deep thought. [System, is this body an adult yet?]

[Haven’t you already read his memories?]

He Qing stared blankly at the baby face in the reflection. He was clearly already a college freshman, yet he didn’t have an ounce of masculinity. This chubby, tender little face, if you pinched it, water might just drip out, right?

When would the system ever find him a strong and muscular body?

The youth draped in the bath towel opened the door while drying his hair. The moment he opened it, he was startled and nearly fell. His foot slipped, and with only enough time to yell “Mommy!”, he toppled over.

The cold, stern man in front of him who had scared him into falling caught him and steadied him in one swift motion. Under He Qing’s lingering fearful gaze, the man whipped out a few traffic tickets with a dark face. “He Qing! Did you steal my car to go drag racing again!”

The youth had just found his footing when he heard the questioning voice. His neck immediately stiffened, and he spoke in a highly punchable tone, “So what if I drove your car! What part of everything on your body wasn’t bought with my family’s money!”

“Let me tell you, Zheng Chenke, don’t think you can give me attitude just because you’re in the company now. Just wait till I graduate! I’ll immediately have my dad kick you out!!”

Being cursed at while pointed at by the nose made Zheng Chenke’s expression even uglier. He looked at the youth with a dark gaze. Just as he was about to issue him a final ultimatum, he noticed that the youth’s face in front of him was flushed red, his body swaying unsteadily as if he were about to collapse in the next second.

His brows furrowed slightly as he looked down, only to see that in order to emphasize the credibility and threatening power of his words, the youth in slippers was standing on his tiptoes, trying hard to make himself level with the man’s height. Unfortunately, the height difference couldn’t be compensated for just by standing on tiptoes. In front of the tall and slender man, even on his tiptoes, he still looked like a little dwarf.

He Qing was entirely unaware that his efforts were in vain. He held his head high like a rooster about to take flight. “Scared now, aren’t you! If you know what’s good for you, hurry up and kiss up to me! Buy that car I had my eye on last time immediately, or watch out, I’ll have my dad kick you out!”

Zheng Chenke, whose expression had just softened because of his funny and somewhat cute little actions, instantly had his face darken. “In your dreams!”

He suddenly felt like he was simply insane for coming to settle scores with this playboy. His handsome face dark, he slammed the door and left!

[Ding! Zheng Chenke favorability: 2.]

The youth casually opened the door, but was hit by the cold air and shiveringly closed it again. Forget it, he’d better wait a while until it wasn’t cold before going out.

However… He Qing looked at his pampered, delicate fingertips that had turned slightly red just from the wind. A thoroughly spoiled, pampered little playboy; he hadn’t played that role yet.