JOH CH38: I’m Jealous of Myself
by DewdropTLSu Yiran’s lashes trembled as he closed his eyes, his face flushed and legs weak from Ting-ge’s kisses. Blushing, he wrapped his arms around Ting-ge’s neck, responding passionately to his tender kisses.
Gu Yuanting kissed him gently and lingeringly, their lips clinging together as if enchanted, unwilling and reluctant to part, from heart to body.
Su Yiran’s limbs felt soft from Ting-ge’s kisses. Shyly, he responded with his eyes closed, his face red, and even the corners of his eyes glistened with a faint, moist flush.
When the kiss finally ended, Gu Yuanting, still unsatisfied, held Su Yiran tightly, kissing his cheeks, eyes, and lips with soft, delicate pecks, as if he could never kiss him enough, utterly captivated.
Su Yiran was swept away by Ting-ge’s loving and tender affection, as if melting into his warmth and sinking into their intimacy.
After a long moment of closeness, Gu Yuanting lifted Su Yiran entirely, settling him onto his lap, wrapping him in his arms. He leaned down to peck Su Yiran’s now-reddened lips again. “Yiran.”
He gently stroked Su Yiran’s hair, pressing their foreheads together, rubbing affectionately, their noses touching. He apologized, “I’m sorry I came back late and couldn’t spend Christmas with you.”
It was already past 3 a.m., well beyond midnight, so it was no longer December 25. He had promised to spend Christmas with Yiran but failed due to the uncontrollable weather, and he felt deeply guilty.
Wrapped in Gu Yuanting’s gentle affection, Su Yiran momentarily forgot the issues between them. He hugged Ting-ge’s neck, nuzzling his cheek against his. “It’s okay. It was a big snowstorm, not your fault.”
He added, “Besides, it’s not that late.”
Gu Yuanting couldn’t resist kissing him several more times, then remembered how Yiran had fallen asleep on the sofa, likely waiting for him until he couldn’t stay awake.
His heart softened and ached. “Why didn’t you listen and go to bed? Falling asleep on the sofa so late—what if you caught a cold?”
Concerned, he took Su Yiran’s hands to check their warmth, relieved to find them warm.
Su Yiran said, “I wanted to wait for you and fell asleep. It’s fine. The heater’s on, see? My hands aren’t cold.”
No sooner had he spoken than Ting-ge pulled off his socks, exposing his pale feet to the air. Su Yiran instinctively curled his toes, but it was too late—Gu Yuanting’s warm hands enveloped them.
Su Yiran felt embarrassed. “What are you doing…?”
Gu Yuanting frowned slightly, feeling his cold feet and growing worried. “They’re so cold,” he said, blaming himself. “It’s my fault for making you wait so late.”
Su Yiran insisted, “It’s really fine. I didn’t even feel my feet were cold.”
Gu Yuanting didn’t say more. He shifted, setting Su Yiran beside him, and tucked Su Yiran’s cold feet against his chest, warming them with his hands.
After a while, feeling it wasn’t warming fast enough, he lifted his shirt slightly and pressed Su Yiran’s feet against his bare skin, letting them warm against his hot abdomen.
Su Yiran’s face reddened. His bare feet pressed against Ting-ge’s firm abs, feeling their heat. He squirmed, trying to pull them back. “Ting-ge, I’m not cold, really.” This was a bit much.
Gu Yuanting held his feet firmly, warming them and not letting him move. “Be good, don’t squirm.”
Seeing Ting-ge’s insistence, Su Yiran obediently stopped moving, letting his feet rest against Ting-ge’s abs.
Gu Yuanting had been focused on warming Su Yiran’s feet, but gradually, feeling the soft, bare skin against his abs, a heat began to stir in his lower abdomen.
His hands, holding Su Yiran’s feet, couldn’t resist caressing the soft, delicate skin of his instep, perfect for holding and cherishing.
Su Yiran felt his feet warming and moved to pull them back. “Okay, they’re not cold anymore, Ting-ge.”
As he moved, Gu Yuanting suddenly pressed his feet down, letting out a heavy, muffled groan. Then Su Yiran felt…
He froze.
Panicking, Su Yiran quickly pulled his feet back. This time, Ting-ge didn’t stop him. He curled his legs up, but Gu Yuanting’s gaze, burning with intensity, landed on his now-exposed, pale instep under the light.
Seeing Ting-ge’s look, Su Yiran felt his feet weren’t safe exposed. He hurriedly grabbed the blanket beside him, covering them tightly, stammering with a flushed face, “Y-you, you, you…”
He didn’t know what to say. This… this was a bit too much! Su Yiran’s face felt like it was burning. How had Ting-ge become so… so…
Unable to see anymore, Gu Yuanting turned away, taking a deep breath to calm himself, ignoring the heat.
He had just returned home, travel-worn, and wanted their first time to be special.
Besides, it was already 3:30 a.m. Yiran had been so tired he’d fallen asleep on the sofa, and with Christmas activities at the shop, he must be exhausted. Gu Yuanting couldn’t bear to tire him further.
He scooped Su Yiran up, kissing him gently. “It’s too late tonight. I won’t touch you. Let’s sleep.” He carried Su Yiran to the bedroom, gently placing him on the bed and tucking him in.
Su Yiran, nervous when lifted, felt a mix of relief and slight disappointment at Ting-ge’s words. Settled in bed, he glanced at Ting-ge’s still-evident arousal, hesitating. “Is it okay to just… ignore it?”
“…” Gu Yuanting took another deep breath, restraining himself. “If you tease me again, there’ll be trouble.”
Ting-ge’s “trouble” was serious business. Su Yiran, startled, burrowed into the blankets, not daring to speak. But had he even been teasing?
Gu Yuanting carefully tucked him in, brushed his forehead, and kissed it softly. “I’m going to shower. Sleep well.”
“Okay.” Su Yiran nodded slightly. As Ting-ge turned off the bedroom light and went to the bathroom, Su Yiran meant to wait for him but grew overwhelmingly sleepy. His head felt heavy, eyelids drooping, and within seconds, he was fast asleep.
He was truly exhausted.
Gu Yuanting took a long shower. When he returned, he saw Yiran already sound asleep.
Careful not to wake him, he slipped into bed, pulling Yiran into his arms.
In his sleep, Su Yiran sensed the familiar presence, instinctively snuggling closer, rubbing his cheek against Ting-ge’s chest, settling into the most comfortable position.
Gu Yuanting’s heart melted. He held Yiran close, kissing his soft hair gently.
Feeling the solid weight in his arms, Gu Yuanting’s heart finally settled.
My home, he thought.
Thinking of this, he lowered his head and gently kissed Su Yiran’s hair, careful not to wake him.
Holding Su Yiran, he thought about the things that had upset and worried him, causing him unease.
Tomorrow, he would hold Yiran and explain everything properly.
He wanted to be with Yiran forever.
With this peace in his heart, Gu Yuanting held Su Yiran and gradually fell asleep with him.
In the morning, Gu Yuanting woke up, feeling more rested than ever.
He looked at Su Yiran in his arms, still fast asleep.
Gu Yuanting gazed at him for a long time, reluctant to leave him to get up.
Only when he thought about making breakfast for Yiran did he kiss his forehead softly and carefully get out of bed.
When Su Yiran woke up, his mind was still groggy.
It wasn’t until the smell of pancakes reached his nose, signaling someone cooking outside, that he suddenly remembered: last night, Ting-ge had come back.
Fully awake, Su Yiran jumped out of bed, slipped on his slippers, and rushed out, spotting Gu Yuanting making pancakes in the kitchen. “Ting-ge.”
“Yiran.” Gu Yuanting turned, seeing him awake. He was still frying pancakes and couldn’t step away. “I made potato pancakes and barley porridge for breakfast. Do you like them?”
Su Yiran nodded. “I do.” He walked over, standing close to Ting-ge, watching him fry the potato pancakes.
Gu Yuanting flipped a pancake, the sizzling oil filling the air with a savory aroma. Soon, both sides were golden and crispy. He turned off the heat and wiped his hands.
Su Yiran was still eyeing the fragrant pancakes, eager to eat, when Gu Yuanting lifted his chin and kissed his lips.
Caught off guard, Su Yiran leaned back slightly. “Hey… I haven’t brushed my teeth…” How embarrassing.
Gu Yuanting held him so he couldn’t pull away, kissing him briefly before reluctantly letting go. “Sweet,” he said, unable to resist another quick peck.
Su Yiran: “…” Embarrassed, he went to wash up.
They ate breakfast together. Today was special, so Su Yiran decided not to go to the shop. He planned to go out with Ting-ge, have fun, and enjoy a perfect date.
After breakfast and washing dishes, Su Yiran nestled in Gu Yuanting’s arms, scrolling through recommendations for things to do in City A on his phone, occasionally discussing where to go.
Gu Yuanting agreed to everything, offering thoughtful suggestions while holding him, stealing kisses now and then.
But after scrolling for a while, Su Yiran didn’t want to go anywhere. He just wanted to stay home with Ting-ge. “Forget it. Let’s just stay home and not go anywhere.”
He rubbed his cheek against Gu Yuanting’s chest, content to spend the day together, doing nothing but being close.
Gu Yuanting caressed his face, leaning down to kiss him. “Okay.”
So, they spent the whole day at home, not going anywhere, mostly cuddling, exchanging soft kisses from time to time.
Gu Yuanting could tell Su Yiran wanted a quiet day of closeness, so he indulged him, doing nothing extra.
Even doing nothing, just being with him felt like time well spent.
After dinner, Su Yiran asked expectantly, “Do you have any gifts for me?”
Gu Yuanting remembered. “Yes.” He’d been so caught up with Yiran he nearly forgot.
He went to the study, retrieving the gifts he’d brought back. Su Yiran opened the gift box and saw: “…”
Inside was a neatly folded pink-and-white sweater.
Su Yiran asked with difficulty, “…Didn’t you already give me one before? Why another one…?”
Gu Yuanting’s hand tightened at the mention of “before.” “The old one wasn’t good. I threw it out and knitted you a better one.” He handed Su Yiran the sweater. “Do you like it?”
Yiran looked good in pink; he should like it. Gu Yuanting pictured him wearing it.
Su Yiran: “…” He took the sweater, noticing the fabric was softer, better than the previous one.
But had Ting-ge misunderstood something? He didn’t exactly dislike pink, but he wasn’t fond of it either. He’d only worn the last one for years because it had softened and was comfortable, mostly as an undershirt.
Gu Yuanting handed him a second box. “And this.”
Su Yiran opened it: “…”
Inside was a pink-and-white scarf and matching gloves.
Gu Yuanting said, “I had some free time, so I knitted a couple more things.” After the sweater, he’d found himself wanting to knit more, especially on sleepless nights, so he made the scarf and gloves.
Su Yiran: “…” Ting-ge, are you addicted to knitting…?
Finally, Gu Yuanting opened a small box containing a watch. He took Su Yiran’s left hand and put it on him.
Su Yiran looked at the watch. It was nice but didn’t seem to be a specific brand.
After receiving Ting-ge’s gifts, Su Yiran said, “I have a gift for you too.”
Gu Yuanting was stunned to hear he had a gift.
Su Yiran went to the bedroom, returning with a small gift box and a mango double-layer cake, placing the cake on the table.
He opened the box, revealing a sandalwood bracelet. He took Gu Yuanting’s left hand and put it on him. “This helps with sleep if worn long-term. You always have trouble sleeping. Plus, it’s been blessed for safety.”
Gu Yuanting looked down as Su Yiran carefully put the bracelet on, explaining its benefits. His heart swelled with tenderness, and he touched the bracelet cherishingly. “I’ll wear it always.”
He hugged Su Yiran, kissing him with deep affection.
Su Yiran had grown used to Ting-ge’s constant kisses since his return. He let Ting-ge kiss him, his heart warmed by the affection.
After the kiss, Su Yiran took the cake out of its box and asked, “Where’s the lighter? Quick, find it.”
Gu Yuanting hadn’t thought much of the cake at first, but now he froze. “Lighter?”
Su Yiran pulled out colored candles from the box, placing three on the cake, smiling. “Three years of marriage, so three candles.”
Gu Yuanting stiffened.
Marriage… anniversary?
Today was the wedding anniversary of Su Yiran and the original host.
Gu Yuanting stood frozen, watching Su Yiran’s eyes curve with a happy smile, his right cheek dimpling faintly.
Of course. The one who fell in love with and married Su Yiran was the original host.
A raging, torrential jealousy surged in Gu Yuanting’s chest.
Never had it been so clear.
The one Su Yiran loved was the original host.
Author’s Note:
(Here begins “I’m jealous of myself” in earnest.)
(Ahem, the earlier parts shouldn’t get censored, right? Since nothing too explicit was written…)
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