JOH CH66: Pain

Gu Yuanting carried Ranran into the bathroom and gently set him down in front of the toilet, then helped him take off his pajama pants and underwear.

Still drowsy from sleep, Su Yiran’s muddled mind cleared instantly. His face heated up, and he quickly said, “You… you should go out.”

Yuanting had been planning to help steady him, but seeing Ranran’s embarrassment, he didn’t insist. He walked to the doorway, turned his back to him, and said, “Alright.”

Ranran glanced over at him, feeling reassured, and began to relieve himself.

Yuanting stood in the doorway for a while, but hearing no sound of running water, he rushed back in. Ranran was bowing his head, frowning—yet nothing was happening.

“What’s wrong?” Yuanting stepped forward in concern. “Can’t go?” As he spoke, his hand had already moved to help hold him.

Ranran froze at Yuanting’s sudden return. Before he could react, Yuanting was holding him—and even whistled softly.

Ranran: “…”

The sound of trickling water began, and Ranran’s face turned crimson. When he finished, Yuanting wiped him with a tissue, helped him pull his pants back up, flushed the toilet, washed his hands for him, and finally carried him back to bed.

Ranran, still flushed, curled up in Yuanting’s arms, feeling like a shrimp dropped in boiling water. Being helped to pee… and having someone whistle at him—it was just too humiliating!

Yuanting turned off the lights, held Ranran, and kissed his forehead. “Go to sleep, Ranran.”

Ranran obediently closed his eyes. Before long, drowsiness returned, and the earlier embarrassment was forgotten as he drifted off.

That night, Ranran woke twice to use the bathroom. From then on, his trips became more frequent, often feeling the urge but sometimes unable to go.

Both Ranran and Yuanting already knew why—knowledge they had learned from prenatal education. As the fetus descended, it pressed on the bladder, causing a constant sense of heaviness in the lower abdomen.

Yuanting’s heart ached for him. Each time, he insisted on going with Ranran to help.

After enough times, Ranran became used to it. After all, they were practically an old married couple—what was there to be shy about anymore?

As the due date drew closer, Yuanting and Ranran’s parents worried he might become emotionally unstable—nervous, anxious, or fearful—so they made a point to chat with him daily and keep him cheerful.

Every day, Yuanting and his mother-in-law tried new recipes to cook delicious food for him.

Ranran’s mood stayed steady. With Yuanting and his parents by his side, and with all the knowledge they had studied, he went about his days calmly—eating, drinking, and doing what needed to be done.

Finally, with one week to go before the due date, it was the day before Yuanting’s planned move to the hospital.

Everything they needed had already been sent and arranged in the hospital room ahead of time. Only a few small items remained to bring over the next day.

That night—their last at home—Yuanting held the drowsy Ranran in his arms. The thought of entering the hospital tomorrow made him feel as if he were marching to an execution ground. The stone in his chest grew heavier.

If he felt like this, how must Ranran, the one going through it, feel? Surely frightened and helpless. The thought made his chest tighten painfully—if only he could take Ranran’s place.

He stroked Ranran’s back gently, kissed his forehead, and murmured softly, “Ranran, don’t be afraid.”

Half-asleep, Ranran heard the reassurance and mumbled, “I… I’m not afraid…” Moments later, he slipped back into slumber under Yuanting’s touch.

Yuanting gazed at him, guilt gnawing at him. Ranran had been exhausted and in discomfort for days, and all he could do was offer some relief. He couldn’t bring himself to resent the baby—Ranran loved their baby, and so did he. By extension, he loved the child deeply.

But he hated the original host.

Without realizing it, his mind replayed the image from two months ago—of the pregnant woman, and that small pool of blood.

Fear clawed at him, his heart dragging him toward the abyss. In the darkness, his eyes grew wet before he realized—he had been crying silently.

If Ranran… No. No, that wouldn’t happen.

He closed his eyes tightly, kissed Ranran’s hair, and told himself again: it wouldn’t happen.

That whole night, Yuanting lay tense, anxious, fearful—unable to sleep.

The next morning, Ranran awoke to find Yuanting holding him as usual.

When Yuanting saw Ranran open his eyes, he stroked his cheek and kissed him. “Good morning.”

“Morning.” Ranran smiled, but then noticed the faint dark circles under Yuanting’s eyes, and a trace of something off in his expression.

“Yuanting, what’s wrong? Didn’t sleep well?”

“No,” Yuanting replied with a gentle smile, unwilling to worry him. “Just woke up early and feel a bit tired.”

Ranran didn’t believe him. Thinking of the hospital move today, he realized: “You’re nervous, aren’t you?”

Yuanting admitted, “A bit, yes—but that’s normal. It’s fine.” He quickly changed the subject, helping Ranran sit up. “Let’s get up, alright?”

Ranran knew he hadn’t slept all night. He pulled Yuanting into a hug and kissed him. “Don’t worry, it’s really fine. We know all the facts—this is safe, right?”

Then he ruffled Yuanting’s hair, smiling. “Don’t be scared—fluffy hair like this won’t get frightened.”

Yuanting felt a pang of guilt—it should be him reassuring Ranran, not the other way around. He steadied himself, looked into Ranran’s eyes, and nodded. “Alright, I’m not afraid.” He kissed him again. “Let’s get up.”

After breakfast prepared by Ranran’s mother, the family gathered their things and went to the hospital together.

The hospital room turned out nothing like Ranran had imagined—it was like a luxury suite, complete with living room, study, bedroom, kitchen, and all appliances.

Yuanting stayed with Ranran, while his parents stayed in the adjacent family room.

Once there, Yuanting became calmer, his earlier fear buried deep inside. Ranran, seeing him so steady, quickly adapted too.

Meals were handled easily, with Ranran’s father shopping daily and Yuanting and his mother cooking.

The surgery date was set for August 12. Yuanting had feared Ranran might go into labor early, enduring extra pain before anesthesia—but the baby was cooperative.

On the morning of the surgery, Ranran lay on the hospital bed, being wheeled into the operating room. Nervous now, he pressed his lips together and stayed still.

Yuanting held his hand and went in with him—hospital policy allowed only one family member, so his parents waited outside.

Looking at Ranran’s pale face on the table, Yuanting’s heart felt numb with pain. He kissed his hand. “Ranran, it’s fine. Just a nap, and it’ll be over. Don’t be scared.”

Ranran managed a smile and a small nod.

While the doctors prepared anesthesia, the two of them silently locked eyes. Ranran seemed to draw strength from him.

When the long spinal needle slid into Ranran’s lower back, Yuanting watched, feeling Ranran’s hand tremble violently in his.

It tore at his heart.

Once the local anesthesia took effect, the doctor administered general sedation. Ranran soon fell peacefully asleep.

Yuanting stayed at his side, watching every moment of the surgery without blinking.

Every stroke of the surgeon’s scalpel felt as though it were cutting into his own flesh—sending waves of pain through him.