WRA CH55

Chapter 55: Don’t Laugh, Your Wife is Also a Yao

Chu Ren stared deeply at Bai Qi from afar. Having shared a bed with Bai Qi for over ten years, he had no idea he had two younger brothers. Thinking about it in detail, it was strange. He had suggested bringing Li Guihua to the city to provide for her in her old age several times, but she had always refused, their mother-son relationship seemingly aloof. Yet this brotherly bond that had popped up out of nowhere… was so profound and exclusive.

Seeing that only Bai Qi was drinking that cup of coffee, Chu Ren thought vigilantly: Are Xiang Zhen and Dou Manning teaming up to feed Bai Qi some kind of magic potion? When we go home tonight, will Bai Qi suddenly start hating capitalists too?

“Watch,” Chu Ren said. He wanted to see exactly what kind of magic potion this was.

Shen Ku: “I have no objections.”

Both being illiterate, Dou Manning’s hobby was reading books, making his information updates much slower than Xiang Zhen, who watched short videos, and Bai Qi, who had ventured into society early on. Consequently, Dou Manning was constantly being brainwashed by the other two. When Shen Ku heard Xiang Zhen telling Dou Manning to go stand in the rain if he got pregnant, he suddenly understood why Mencius’s mother moved three times to find a good environment.

Just Xiang Zhen alone was headache enough. Now, with Bai Qi—who mingled in the film and television industry—added to the mix, Shen Ku didn’t dare imagine what kind of brainwashing Dou Manning would be subjected to.

However, Zhou Sicheng suddenly said, “I object.”

Xiang Zhen was innocent and naive, wearing his heart on his sleeve with his friends and saying whatever came to mind. If he learned a rare character, he absolutely wouldn’t let Dou Manning remain illiterate, sincerely exchanging academic knowledge with his friends. His customer-service wife talked the most, spilling his innermost thoughts with just a little probing, unlike others who always held back, hiding who knew what malicious schemes.

Xiang Zhen’s adorable words were for his ears only. Why should he broadcast them for others to hear?

Just like that, three shrewd, calculating men treated their own wives as precious darlings while indiscriminately guarding against the other wives as bad influences.

Heaven had matched his wife with two formidable illiterate rivals, and matched him with two useless teammates.

The Anti-Illiteracy Alliance instantly plunged into infighting.

Chu Ren found it unimaginable: “Zhou Sicheng, how can you be so fickle?”

Zhou Sicheng: “We didn’t sign a contract.”

Aside from his eternal and unchanging love for Xiang Zhen, Zhou Sicheng was indeed a fickle man.

Shen Ku: “If it doesn’t work out, let’s just disband. Anyway, I’ve known Manning for the shortest amount of time, I have plenty of days ahead of me.”

The two other men present—one who had known his partner for ten years, and one who had just gotten engaged today—were subtly mocked.

“Wait.” Zhou Sicheng summoned the robotic Xiao Kui Bao. “Xiao Kui Bao, connect to camera K08. Monitor and read their conversation. You don’t need to send me the specific details; just summarize and filter out any content that goes against human common sense.”

“Especially pay attention to whether they are conspiring on plans that violate human nature and science, or that might affect marital harmony.”

“Be concise and to the point. No unnecessary words, and no deduction allowed. Make sure to filter out any private pillow talk.”

“Understood, Master. Analyzing now.” Xiao Kui Bao replied obediently. The little sunflower on its round head swayed side to side at a very high frequency; the faster it went, the more complex the analyzed content was.

Zhou Sicheng had already altered Xiao Kui Bao’s underlying code to “Two men can marry and have children,” so it wouldn’t raise any more ignorant questions about Xiang Zhen’s pregnancy.

Feeling physically and mentally refreshed, the corners of his mouth curled up. Technology truly changed lives. Eavesdropping was shameless, but if an AI did it, it was foolproof—at worst, he could just make Xiao Kui Bao take the blame.

Thirty seconds later, Xiao Kui Bao shook its sunflower. Having read non-human content, it quickly broadcasted: “Master, your wife is a Yao.”

Zhou Sicheng looked down to scrutinize the robotic Xiao Kui, his dark, profound eyes looking as though they wanted to see straight through its code execution process.

Is your CPU okay?

Xiao Kui Bao had just followed its master during the socializing, so the identities and relationships of everyone present had been inputted into its database. It turned to face Shen Ku.

“Your wife is a Yao.”

Shen Ku frowned: “Is it glitching?”

Chu Ren laughed so hard he rested his palm on the table. How come there are so many jokes at Zhou Sicheng’s place?

“Zhou Sicheng, this is your company’s product? And to think I bought a top-tier model just to remind my wife to eat and drink on time.”

Xiao Kui Bao said solemnly: “Don’t laugh, your wife is also a Yao.”

Chu Ren: “Hah.”

Shen Ku: “…”

Zhou Sicheng: “…What kind of Yao?”

Xiao Kui Bao: “I don’t know!”

Zhou Sicheng sighed. You just had to be disappointing too. Just because he told it to monitor for anti-human, unscientific content didn’t mean it should invent a Yao out of thin air for its father.

Logically speaking, after several iterations, Xiao Kui Bao shouldn’t just spout nonsense along with the user anymore.

As for losing face, Zhou Sicheng was already used to it.

But the truth still needed to be explored.

Zhou Sicheng: “What are they doing now?”

Xiao Kui Bao: “Watching The Legend of the White Snake.”

Zhou Sicheng finally knew where the “Yao” answer came from.

Chu Ren: “The Yao is Xu Xian’s wife.”

Zhou Sicheng remarked casually, “Don’t speak too soon, Bai Qi’s surname is also Bai.”

Chu Ren raised an eyebrow: “They must be watching it using Bai Qi’s account. President Zhou, your wife has suffered without a VIP membership for far too long.”

Zhou Sicheng: “Childish. We don’t know who actually wants to watch it. Xiang Zhen only likes scrolling through short videos.”

If Xiang Zhen liked watching long TV dramas, if he had ever watched a show in bed instead of stepping on his abs while scrolling through short videos, Zhou Sicheng would have remembered to buy him a tablet and top up a Super VIP membership.

Shen Ku felt despair over the fact that their three-person team consisted of two management-level executives. Fucking construction sites hate this situation the most—no one is actually doing any work.

…

Over at the coffee table.

The three of them gathered around to watch the TV drama Bai Qi mentioned, specifically observing the scene where Xu Xian was scared to death by the snake Yao’s transformation.

Bai Qi dragged the progress bar: “Starting from here.”

Back in the day, as soon as summer vacation hit, major satellite TV stations would loop The Legend of the White Snake. Whenever Bai Qi turned on the TV, he was forced to watch it several times over.

Xiang Zhen stared at the ancient, pixelated video quality, the phone screen reflecting his solemn little face.

If they scared their husbands to death, then they wouldn’t have husbands anymore.

Then they wouldn’t be able to stay in the city. The widowed little Yao would trudge back to Yao Spirit Village covered in dirt, bid farewell to Auntie Guihua, and return to the mountains to live in the wild.

Xiang Zhen’s eyelashes fluttered. He couldn’t be separated from his hubby; one month was already the absolute limit. This plot was too distressing. He simply whipped out his own phone, opened his short video app, and quickly swallowed a high-speed summary version.

The ultimate ending was a happy family reunion. Xiang Zhen breathed a sigh of relief.

“Bai Qi, are you really completely unprepared to tell Chu Ren?”

Bai Qi’s narrow eyes narrowed slightly. He had always disguised himself perfectly. As a successfully socialized Yao, there was zero possibility of him transforming involuntarily, nor did he have any need to transform actively.

His relationship with Chu Ren was very stable; there was no need to introduce new variables.

Xiang Zhen had a sudden flash of inspiration and urged, “If you ever get discovered, just get pregnant with a baby like Bai Suzhen did. The child is the key to breaking the deadlock. When he grows up, have him take the central government civil service exam, and Chu Ren will forgive everything.”

Bai Qi was stunned. Was that how the drama played out just now? Ever since he discovered he could freely choose what to watch on the Changsheng Media app instead of waiting for satellite TV broadcasts, he had quietly avoided all Legend of the White Snake themes.

With so many TV dramas crammed into his brain, Bai Qi couldn’t remember clearly either.

Bai Qi: “It’s very difficult for Yao to conceive a human’s child.”

Xiang Zhen: “But I’m pregnant, and my hubby is being super suspicious.”

Bai Qi’s eyes widened in shock: “When a Yao gets pregnant, they have to undergo a Heavenly Lightning Tribulation!”

“Ah.”

Xiang Zhen touched his golden hair, which was shorter by a chunk. Hindsight hit him—so the reason he was struck by lightning on a perfectly sunny day was because of the Lightning Tribulation.

He knew that lightning bolt was coming straight for him! Thank goodness that giant boulder had blocked the blow for him.

Bai Qi: “The baby in your belly is a very lucky Yao baby.”

Xiang Zhen hurriedly said, “Then neither of you should get pregnant.”

Xiang Zhen looked apologetically at Dou Manning: “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have urged you to get pregnant. Whether I confess or not has nothing to do with you getting pregnant anymore. Hurry and tell Shen Ku to get a vasectomy.”

Bai Qi: “That might not be necessary. I’ve been with him for ten years and never… well, forget it. You plant Yao probably have an easier time pollinating. A vasectomy is safer.”

Dou Manning thought about it; there was no need to risk a pregnancy. “Alright, I won’t stop him from getting a vasectomy anymore.”

…

Shen Ku ignored the bickering management layer. Crouching down, he communicated patiently with the robot: “Aside from being Yao, did they reach any other conclusions?”

Xiao Kui Bao: “They unanimously agreed you should get a vasectomy.”

Shen Ku: “…”

Although the topic was outrageous, it was far more reasonable than Yao.

Chu Ren: “?”

Wait a minute. Chatting about bedroom topics on their very first meeting? That was not his wife’s style.

Sitting on a single sofa, Zhou Sicheng’s gaze wandered ambiguously between the robotic Xiao Kui and Xiang Zhen.

“Shen Ku, Chu Ren. Neither of you have ever seen your own wives’ agility, have you?”

As soon as these words were spoken, both Shen Ku and Chu Ren fell silent.

Faintly, they felt they couldn’t say for sure.

Chu Ren: “There was one time I almost got into a car accident. Bai Qi pulled me back.”

Zhou Sicheng: “Let’s run an experiment.”

Chu Ren: “How do we experiment?”

Zhou Sicheng plotted: “You jump down from the third floor. I’m absolutely certain Bai Qi can catch you.”

Chu Ren: “Why don’t you jump?!”

Zhou Sicheng said nothing. His wife was pregnant; how could he put his wife to the test?

What a pity. Such a brilliant scheme, yet no one was willing to make the sacrifice.

Zhou Sicheng picked up a glass of pear-white liquor. He hadn’t drunk any alcohol today, so why did he feel drunk?

When science fails to explain things, turning to metaphysics is perfectly normal, right? Zhou Sicheng didn’t care about losing face over being superstitious one more time.

“Xiao Kui Bao, answer me one more time. Is Xiang Zhen a Yao?”

Xiao Kui Bao shook its little flower: “Yes, Master. Based on their conversation, Baby Xiang Zhen and Dou Manning are plant Yao.”

Zhou Sicheng abruptly tightened his grip on the glass.

He remembered seeing Xiang Zhen’s essay in Li Guihua’s house: I Am a Sunflower in the Greater Khingan Mountains.

He remembered the rental apartment, those sunflowers beside Xiang Zhen that could grow wildly and vigorously even when planted in tiny milk tea buckets.

Zhou Sicheng had grown them; he had understood sunflowers since he was a child.

He remembered his wife disappearing into the sunflower patch, and the night he stood in the flowers and felt his wife’s aura so intensely.

He even remembered the biological trait of sunflowers ceasing to track the sun after setting seeds, and how Xiang Zhen hadn’t dared to look at him.

Was he the sun that Xiang Zhen’s gaze forever followed?

The sun forged all life on Earth; no human dared to compare themselves to the sun.

Was this Xiang Zhen’s deeper, more passionate love?

Seeing Zhou Sicheng’s increasingly serious expression, Shen Ku and Chu Ren also fell into silent retrospection.

Among them, Zhou Sicheng possessed the strongest ability to analyze and anticipate the overall situation.

If Zhou Sicheng was taking it seriously, how could they ignorantly brush it off?

What if… what if… what if.

Their worldviews shattered with a deafening crash.

…

Xiang Zhen: “Let’s come up with a cover story then. I want to confess to my hubby that I’m a Yao, but without implicating you guys.”

“What if I say I cultivated into a Yao later in life?”

Flipping the narrative around would make him seem hardworking and outstanding, born from the same roots as humans.

Bai Qi’s screenwriter brain went online: “That works. We’ll say the three of us were orphans with exceptional innate talent, adopted and trained by Auntie Guihua’s old dad. But only you successfully cultivated into a Yao; we both failed and went out into the city to work.”

Auntie Guihua’s father had passed away ten years ago; dead men tell no tales.

Xiang Zhen: “I’ll call Auntie Guihua to align our stories.”

Li Guihua hummed her replies while playing mahjong, “I’ve memorized it, Zhen’er. My dad’s nickname used to be Li the Great Immortal. What a coincidence, right?”

Xiang Zhen asked again, “Auntie Guihua, do Yao get struck by lightning when they get pregnant?”

Li Guihua replied, “Don’t be scared. For the first three months of pregnancy, stay in the city where there are lightning rods. Don’t go out into the wild.”

Xiang Zhen: “It’s fine, Auntie, I’ve already been struck.”

Li Guihua: “Were you hurt? It probably wasn’t too serious, just scary.”

Xiang Zhen: “No, I’m perfectly fine.”

Xiang Zhen hung up the phone and said to Manning and Bai Qi, “Then that’s what we’ll say.”

“Three Yao are enough to establish a Party branch. If we have any problems in the future, we’ll hold meetings to discuss them.”

Having meetings felt so good.

Xiang Zhen brought over two glasses of juice, handing one to Manning: “Quench your thirst.”

Bai Qi: “I’ll buy a house specifically for our meetings.”

Known in the industry as the man behind Chu Ren and the Midas touch of hit dramas, he had earned quite a lot of money himself and had also donated significantly to the Yao Foundation.

“Bai Qi, you and Chu Ren are an alliance of the strong; running a husband-and-husband shop is the most profitable.” Xiang Zhen swore, “I also want to be someone capable of standing shoulder-to-shoulder with the Sun God.”

Bai Qi: “There’s a sun Yao too?”

“It’s my hubby,” Xiang Zhen said solemnly.

Zhou Sicheng had never denied being the Sun God.

He just was.