WRA CH98

Chapter 98: 100 Questions on Husband & Husband Compatibility

Xiang Zhen and Zhou Sicheng participated in the Qixi Festival 100 Couple Questions Q&A. Since some of the questions involved the wife’s privacy and President Zhou refused to let a third person hear the answers, after some negotiation, the following questions were asked by the Xiao Kui Bao.

1. Xiao Kui Bao: What is your name?
   Xiang Zhen: Xiang Zhen.
   Zhou Sicheng: Zhou Sicheng.

2. Xiao Kui Bao: Age?
   Xiang Zhen: 22.
   Zhou Sicheng: I was 28 when we got married. Xiao Kui Bao, fill in the answer you already know yourself.
   [Xiao Kui Bao notes: Papa Zhou Sicheng is very sensitive about his age.]

3. Xiao Kui Bao: Gender? [This question has been auto-filled by AI]

4. Xiao Kui Bao: What is your personality like?
   Xiang Zhen: An honest and well-behaved wife.
   Zhou Sicheng: A diligent and conscientious husband.

5. Xiao Kui Bao: What is the other person’s personality like?
   Zhou Sicheng: Not honest or well-behaved.
   Xiang Zhen also exposed his fault: President Zhou isn’t very dedicated at work. He often teases his sunflower employee in the office.

6. Xiao Kui Bao: When and where did you two meet?
   Xiang Zhen: A coffee shop.
   Zhou Sicheng: A blind date.

7. Xiao Kui Bao: First impression of the other person?
   Xiang Zhen: An incarnation of the Sun God!
   Zhou Sicheng: A beautiful, honest blond guy.

8. Xiao Kui Bao: What do you like about the other person?
   Xiang Zhen: Many things. His academic background, his looks, his cooking skills, his personality, his car, his garden, his genes…
   Zhou Sicheng: He is always turned towards me.

9. Xiao Kui Bao: What do you hate about the other person?
   Xiang Zhen: Nothing.
   Zhou Sicheng: I like everything about him.

10. Xiao Kui Bao: Do you think you have good compatibility?
    Xiang Zhen: A match made in heaven.
    Zhou Sicheng: Our compatibility is just like a sunflower and the sun.

11. Xiao Kui Bao: How do you address the other person?
    Xiang Zhen: Hubby.
    Zhou Sicheng: Wifey.

12. Xiao Kui Bao: How do you wish to be addressed by them?
    Xiang Zhen: Zhenzhen, baby, wifey.
    Zhou Sicheng: Hubby.

13. Xiao Kui Bao: If you were to compare the other person to an animal, what would it be?
    Xiang Zhen: Do we have to use an animal? My husband is the Sun God.
    Zhou Sicheng: Why use an animal? Too narrow-minded. My wife is a sunflower.

14. Xiao Kui Bao: If you were to give a gift to the other person, what would you give?
    Xiang Zhen: I’d cook for him. He really craves my cooking. For his next birthday, I want to make him a cake. (The egg wash smells too fishy, so I’ll need hubby to whisk it.)
    Zhou Sicheng: Sunflower jewelry.

15. Xiao Kui Bao: What gift do you want for yourself?

Xiang Zhen: A five-star review.

Zhou Sicheng: Miracle Zhenzhen.

16. Xiao Kui Bao: Do you have any dissatisfactions with the other person? What is it usually about?
    Xiang Zhen: He beats baby Guazi.
    Zhou Sicheng: Do you call that beating? Every time, our son is just getting exactly what he asked for.
    Xiang Zhen was confused: The baby said he wanted to eat sunflower seeds? Did you crack seeds for him?
    Zhou Sicheng: …
    Zhou Sicheng: Guazi is very resilient. Have I ever beaten him until he cried? Is it because he doesn’t like crying? No, it’s because I hold back!

17. Xiao Kui Bao: What are your own flaws?
    Xiang Zhen: I have no flaws. Only perfect sunflowers can turn into yaos
    Zhou Sicheng: Being too rich and scaring my wife away.

18. Xiao Kui Bao: What are the other person’s flaws?
    Xiang Zhen: He’s a capitalist.
    Zhou Sicheng: He’s a bit of an illiterate.

19. Xiao Kui Bao: What does the other person do that makes you unhappy?
    Xiang Zhen: Nothing really. Actually, when hubby beats baby Guazi, I don’t get unhappy either.
    Zhou Sicheng: Nothing. Money can solve most things.

20. Xiao Kui Bao: What do you do that makes the other person unhappy?
    Xiang Zhen: Picking up discarded milk tea buckets in the rental apartment to grow sunflowers.
    Zhou Sicheng: That time I hired a traditional Chinese medicine doctor to give him acupuncture.

21. Xiao Kui Bao: How far has your relationship progressed?
    Xiang Zhen: Sharing our lifespans and growing old together.
    Zhou Sicheng: Legally married husbands.

22. Xiao Kui Bao: Where was your first date?

Xiang Zhen: Tianxing Bay Park, where BYD cars get two hours of free parking.
Zhou Sicheng: …Looking at water lilies.

23. Xiao Kui Bao: What was the atmosphere like at that time?
    Xiang Zhen: Hubby was very fierce. After scolding you, he scolded me.
    Xiao Kui Bao: I got scolded too?
    Xiang Zhen: He scolded you and called you an artificial idiot.
    Zhou Sicheng: I was diagnosed as a Sadist, can’t I say a few words?

24. Xiao Kui Bao: How far had you progressed by then?
    Xiang Zhen: We were already an old married couple, but we hadn’t had sex yet!
    Zhou Sicheng: Known each other for two weeks, newlyweds.

25. Xiao Kui Bao: Frequently visited dating spots?
    Xiang Zhen: Does the company count?
    Zhou Sicheng: Yes, my office.

26. Xiao Kui Bao: How do you prepare for the other person’s birthday?
    Xiang Zhen: Wear some clothes that are a bit… you know.
    Zhou Sicheng: Get a trendy hairstyle.
    Xiang Zhen: Hubby, you look so handsome.

27. Xiao Kui Bao: Who confessed first?
    Xiang Zhen: Hubby and I met on a blind date; it just happened naturally. There was no confession phase.
    Zhou Sicheng: Zhenzhen said he liked me the very first time we met.

28. Xiao Kui Bao: How much do you like the other person?
    Xiang Zhen: Even more than a sunflower likes the sun, I like my hubby!
    Zhou Sicheng (getting into the groove, enjoying this interview): Always shining directly onto my wife.

29. Xiao Kui Bao: Then, do you love them?
    Xiang Zhen: Is there a difference? You humans have very complicated emotional categorizations.
    Zhou Sicheng: Are you purposely giving trick questions to make things difficult for my wife?

30. Xiao Kui Bao: What does the other person say that makes you feel helpless?
    Xiang Zhen: When I’m in class at school, and he sends me photos of the “Guazi tasting period,” telling me to come home immediately after class.
    Zhou Sicheng: Using sweet words to order me around like a packhorse.

31. Xiao Kui Bao: If you suspect the other person of having a change of heart, what would you do?
    Xiang Zhen: Ask Xiao Kui Bao to help analyze the suspicion.
    Xiao Kui Bao: Pretend Xiao Kui never asked!
    Zhou Sicheng: …

32. Xiao Kui Bao: Can you forgive them for a change of heart?
    Xiang Zhen: No.
    Zhou Sicheng: I’d kill that person first. We already have a child together.

33. Xiao Kui Bao: What if they are more than an hour late for a date?
    Xiang Zhen: Don’t be late… Last time hubby was five minutes late coming home, it was because he got into a car accident and ended up in the hospital.
    Zhou Sicheng: With my wife’s speed, he wouldn’t be late even if it were raining knives.

34. Xiao Kui Bao: What part of their body do you like the most?
    Xiang Zhen: I like everything. Hubby is flawless.
    Zhou Sicheng: All of it.

35. Xiao Kui Bao: Their sexiest expression?
    Xiang Zhen: When hubby drives the BYD wearing sunglasses, he looks very handsome and mysterious.
    Zhou Sicheng: When he’s washing underwear.

36. Xiao Kui Bao: When you’re together, what makes your heart beat the fastest?
    Xiang Zhen: When hubby shows up outside my classroom holding the baby.
    Zhou Sicheng: When my wife leads our son to cause trouble.

37. Xiao Kui Bao: Have you ever lied to them? Are you good at lying?
    Xiang Zhen: Yes, very good at it.
    Zhou Sicheng: Good at it.

38. Xiao Kui Bao: When do you feel the happiest?
    Xiang Zhen: When hubby cooks for me, when hubby makes formula for baby Guazi…
    Zhou Sicheng: Providing a life of abundance for my wife and child.

39. Xiao Kui Bao: Have you ever fought?
    Xiang Zhen: Because you deduced that my husband was cheating, and I went to him to break up, does that count as fighting?
    Zhou Sicheng: Heh.
    Xiao Kui Bao: !!!

40. Xiao Kui Bao: What do you usually fight about?

41. Xiao Kui Bao: How do you make up afterwards?

[For code safety reasons, these questions have been filtered.]

42. Xiao Kui Bao: After reincarnation, do you still want to be lovers?
    Xiang Zhen showed off his scientific knowledge: Believe in science, there is no reincarnation.
    Zhou Sicheng: Reborn cycle after cycle, dedicating it all to Zhenzhen.
    Xiang Zhen quickly changed his tune: Hubby, I want to be with you in my next life too.

43. Xiao Kui Bao: When do you feel loved?
    Xiang Zhen: Every single moment.
    Zhou Sicheng: When my wife gazes at me.

44. Xiao Kui Bao: What is your way of expressing love?
    Xiang Zhen: Willing to have babies for hubby.
    Zhou Sicheng: Not letting my wife have a second child.

45. Xiao Kui Bao: Do you mind if they frequently go out to play with friends?
    Zhou Sicheng: I don’t min… I do mind (initially referring specifically to Yu Yueyue, later referring specifically to his two brothers-in-law).
    Xiang Zhen: My husband doesn’t go out to play alone, unless it’s for a business trip.

46. Xiao Kui Bao: Name an obvious advantage of the other person?
    Xiang Zhen: Obviously, my hubby is filthy rich (literally: so rich he drips with oil).
    Zhou Sicheng: Wifey, you can drip/flow too.
    Xiang Zhen: [Face turns completely yellow]

47. Xiao Kui Bao: Do you keep any secrets from each other?
    Xiang Zhen: The contents of our yao branch meetings cannot be known by hubby.
    Zhou Sicheng: Joined a “Manage Your Wife Well” Brothers-in-Law Mutual Advancement Foundation, which always fails, and I frequently give them money.

48. Xiao Kui Bao: Where does your inferiority complex stem from?
    Xiang Zhen: ? Do I need to feel inferior when my hubby is the richest man?
    Zhou Sicheng: .

49. Xiao Kui Bao: Is your relationship public or secret?
    Xiang Zhen: Public.
    Zhou Sicheng: Zhenzhen is my official spokesperson.

50. Xiao Kui Bao: Do you think your love can last forever?
    Xiang Zhen worriedly: Scientific research shows the sun can only burn stably for another 5 billion years. After 5 billion years…
    Zhou Sicheng: In 5 billion years, I’ll expand into a red giant and swallow you whole.
    Xiang Zhen: That works, hubby.

51. Xiao Kui Bao: Are you the top (Gong) or bottom (Shou)?
    Zhou Sicheng: My employee rating at the company is 1.
    Xiang Zhen: I went from a 12 up to a… 0, all thanks to my husband’s hard work.

52. Xiao Kui Bao: Why was this decided?
    Xiang Zhen: The sun is supposed to be above.
    Zhou Sicheng: Correct, this angle is better for shining on my wife.
    Xiang Zhen: In public, we say it’s because he takes care of me.

53. Xiao Kui Bao: Are you satisfied with the current situation?
    Xiang Zhen: I am very satisfied with hubby!
    Zhou Sicheng: Satisfied.

54. Xiao Kui Bao: Where was your first time?
    Xiang Zhen: On a bed.
    Zhou Sicheng: The rental apartment.

55. Xiao Kui Bao: How did it feel at the time?
    Xiang Zhen: There was a thunderstorm outside, hubby was behind me, hubby still gives the best sense of security.
    Zhou Sicheng: Felt great.

56. Xiao Kui Bao: What did they look like at the time?
    Xiang Zhen: Masterminding everything. My hubby is very smart; he checked the weather forecast in advance and said if we did it in the rental apartment during a thunderstorm, the neighbors wouldn’t hear us.
    Zhou Sicheng thought for a while, feeling it was inconvenient to say.

57. Xiao Kui Bao: What was your first sentence on the morning after?
    Xiang Zhen: I forgot, probably calling out “hubby.”
    Zhou Sicheng: Asked my wife if he wanted water.

58. Xiao Kui Bao: How many times a week?
    Xiang Zhen: 3×3, 4×2, it’s hard to say, sometimes 6x…
    Zhou Sicheng: The more, the better.

59. Xiao Kui Bao: What is the ideal frequency per week?
    Xiang Zhen: Whatever hubby likes is fine.
    Zhou Sicheng: Every day.

60. Xiao Kui Bao: So, what kind of H is it?
    Xiang Zhen: When we say do it, we do it.
    Zhou Sicheng: To our heart’s content.

61. Xiao Kui Bao: Your most sensitive spot?
    Xiang Zhen: Hmm… definitely the center of the flower.
    Zhou Sicheng: Wherever my wife touches.

62. Xiao Kui Bao: Their most sensitive spot?
    Xiang Zhen: Hubby is very sensitive to love rivals!
    Zhou Sicheng: …

63. Xiao Kui Bao: Describe them during H in one sentence?
    Xiang Zhen: Super handsome.
    Zhou Sicheng: Granting whatever he asks for.

64. Xiao Kui Bao: Frankly speaking, do you like H?
    Xiang Zhen: Yes! With a face as big as a sunflower’s, Zhou Sicheng has a lot of pollen!
    Zhou Sicheng looked unfathomable: Wifey, you don’t need to tell it too much.

65. Xiao Kui Bao: Usual location?
    Xiang Zhen: Bedroom.
    Zhou Sicheng: Bedroom.

66. Xiao Kui Bao: Where would you like to try it?
    Xiang Zhen: Outdoors?
    Zhou Sicheng: The headquarters’ conference room…

67. Xiao Kui Bao: Shower before or after?
    Xiang Zhen: Before.
    Zhou Sicheng: Before.

68. Xiao Kui Bao: Any rules/agreements during H?
    Xiang Zhen: He’s not allowed to be a Sadist!
    Zhou Sicheng: No rules, it’s all normal kinks.

69. Xiao Kui Bao: Have you had relations with anyone other than your partner?
    Xiang Zhen: No.
    Zhou Sicheng: No.

70. Xiao Kui Bao: What do you think about the idea “If I can’t have your heart, at least I’ll have your body”?
    Xiang Zhen was confused: What does this question have to do with us?
    Zhou Sicheng: Remind me to dock its funding by 100 million later.

71. [To protect its budget, this question has been collapsed by Xiao Kui Bao]

72. Xiao Kui Bao: Do you feel embarrassed before or after?
    Xiang Zhen: No.
    Zhou Sicheng: No.

73. Xiao Kui Bao: If a good friend said, “I’m so lonely, so just for tonight, please…” and asked for H, what would you do?
    Xiang Zhen: Xiao Kui, where did you gather these questions? My hubby doesn’t like this kind of hypothetical, and neither do I.
    Zhou Sicheng: Dock it 200 million.

74. Xiao Kui Bao: Do you think you are good at it?
    Xiang Zhen: Doesn’t need lubrication, does that count as being good at it?
    Zhou Sicheng: It counts, wifey.

75. Xiao Kui Bao: What about them?
    Xiang Zhen: Hubby is amazing, it’s very easy to get pregnant, but hubby refuses to let me have a second child.
    Zhou Sicheng: Opposed to a second child.

76. Xiao Kui Bao: What do you want them to say during H?
    Xiang Zhen: Say, “Baby, you’re doing great.”
    Zhou Sicheng: Anything is fine.

77. Xiao Kui Bao: What expression of theirs do you like most?
    Xiang Zhen: (Softly) They are all dazzling.
    Zhou Sicheng: When he can’t take it anymore but still insists on looking me in the eye.

78. Xiao Kui Bao: Do you think it’s okay to have H with someone other than your lover? [To protect its budget, this question has been filtered]

79. Xiao Kui Bao: Are you interested in S/M?
    Xiang Zhen: Hubby looks very handsome as an S, but if I’m an M I’d fight back, so it’s better not to.
    Zhou Sicheng: Reikterating for the 108th time, I do not hit my wife.

80. Xiao Kui Bao: If they suddenly stopped seeking your body, what would you do?

Xiang Zhen: My husband will still be able to drive a car at eighty.

Zhou Sicheng: Check if he’s pregnant.

81. Xiao Kui Bao: What are your thoughts on r*pe?
    Xiang Zhen: It’s illegal; you’ll go to jail.
    Zhou Sicheng: Correct.

82. Xiao Kui Bao: The most painful thing during H?
    Xiang Zhen: When there are too many times in one day, the battlefield moves from the bed to… some weird places.
    Zhou Sicheng: Nothing.

83. Xiao Kui Bao: So far, the place that made you the most excited/anxious?
    Xiang Zhen: When we were at Auntie Guihua’s house in the countryside. The soundproofing was bad, and hubby covered my mouth so I wouldn’t make a sound. My room shared a wall with Manning, and Bai Qi was just across the hall from us. Strange, how did Manning hold it in?
    Zhou Sicheng, who never felt anxious about this: That’s because they have a lot of experience living in tin-roofed shacks.

84. Xiao Kui Bao: Has the Shou ever proactively seduced the Gong?
    Xiang Zhen: Yes, for our first time after I got pregnant. Hubby didn’t dare.
    Zhou Sicheng: .

85. Xiao Kui Bao: What was the Gong’s expression then?
    Xiang Zhen: Probably treading very carefully.
    Zhou Sicheng: .

86. Xiao Kui Bao: Has the Gong ever forced it?
    Xiang Zhen: No.
    Zhou Sicheng: No.

87. Xiao Kui Bao: What was the Shou’s reaction?
    [Question auto-filtered]

88. Xiao Kui Bao: What is your ideal type for an “H partner”?
    Xiang Zhen: Someone just like the sun.
    Zhou Sicheng: Never considered it before my wife appeared.

89. Xiao Kui Bao: Does your current partner match your ideal type?
    Xiang Zhen: He is entirely the sun.
    Zhou Sicheng: He is whatever he is, there is no comparison.

90. Xiao Kui Bao: Have you used props?
    Xiang Zhen: Rarely.
    Zhou Sicheng: Do custom-made clothes count?

91. Xiao Kui Bao: When was your first time?
    Xiang Zhen: At 20!
    Zhou Sicheng: After marriage.

92. Xiao Kui Bao: Was it with your current partner?
    Xiang Zhen: Yes.
    Zhou Sicheng: Yes.

93. Xiao Kui Bao: Where do you like being kissed the most?
    Xiang Zhen: My hair.
    Zhou Sicheng: Kissing on the lips.

94. Xiao Kui Bao: Where do you like kissing them the most?
    Xiang Zhen: The part where hubby is amazing.
    Zhou Sicheng: Lots of places.

95. Xiao Kui Bao: What pleases them most during H?
    Xiang Zhen: Looking at him.
    Zhou Sicheng: Praising him.

96. Xiao Kui Bao: What do you think about during H?
    Xiang Zhen: Do I need to think about anything? Just cooperating with hubby is enough. Hubby, what do you humans have to think about during H?
    Zhou Sicheng: Think less, do more.

97. Xiao Kui Bao: Do you take off your own clothes, or do they do it for you?
    Xiang Zhen: He takes them off.
    Zhou Sicheng: Me.

98. Xiao Kui Bao: For you, H is?
    Xiang Zhen: The law of nature.
    Zhou Sicheng: Correct.

99. Xiao Kui Bao: Are you two planning on a second child?
    Xiang Zhen: I’ll listen to hubby.
    Zhou Sicheng: Xiao Kui Bao, it seems you haven’t taken care of children enough.
    Xiao Kui Bao: I’m sorry, Master! It was my mistake! This question shouldn’t have appeared!

100. Xiao Kui Bao: Please say one sentence to your lover.
     Xiang Zhen: Hubby, um… I have to give a speech at the union tomorrow; can you make another PowerPoint presentation for me? Hubby, you’re the best.
     Zhou Sicheng: …Didn’t you say last time was the final time?
     Xiang Zhen promised: This time is really the final time too.
     Zhou Sicheng: …Fine.

With so many people watching, he couldn’t exactly make his wife lose face.

Xiang Zhen: “There really won’t be a next time, because lately I’ve been busy writing the Guide to Adulthood.”

The Guide to Adulthood had been in his possession for three years now, and his relationship with his husband was very stable. It was time to revise the guide and leave behind a Sunflower biography.

“Or maybe, hubby, since you’re the reincarnation of the God of Literature, you can help me write the Guide to Adulthood too.”

Zhou Sicheng: “You yaos should write your own stuff, save it to trick… guide the next one.”

Even the best programmers couldn’t fix the bugs left behind by generations of yaos.

A pile of bugs could still operate perfectly until a yao found a husband. But if a human tampered with it, it would probably cause chaos.

Xiang Zhen thought for a moment, “Hubby, what do you think the next yao will be?”

Zhou Sicheng: “Can’t guess.”

Xiang Zhen said expectantly, “Could it be a tiger! The Lord of the Mountains descending! Mighty and unyielding!”

Like the big tiger he had seen in the Greater Khingan Mountains.

The Yao world could finally produce a Top!

Zhou Sicheng: “…”

He imagined it for a second. The new brother-in-law flips open the Guide to Adulthood and sees pages upon pages of pregnancy precautions. With the intellect of a yao, he might actually believe that male human wives could get pregnant. Anytime his male wife ate one less bowl of rice, the new brother-in-law would think he was just experiencing pregnancy nausea.

With that level of intelligence, they’d likely get kicked out of the house 80% of the time, and then they’d definitely come knocking on his door to leech off him.

Feeling a deep sense of crisis, Zhou Sicheng said, “Wifey, when you finish writing it, show it to the other two first.”

That way, if it caused trouble, they could share the blame.

The sunflower yao: “I will!”

Xiang Zhen was brimming with confidence. He was going to write a magnum opus about his husband!

Especially regarding how to prevent one’s true identity from being exposed and how to get one’s husband to accept his new identity.

“Hubby, I handled everything perfectly, right?”

Zhou Sicheng lied through his teeth, “You could become the head of PR at my company.”