WRA CH67

Chapter 67: Figurines of Wife and Child

“Keep playing dumb! Your son threw the fake snake, so you find it!”

Zhou Sicheng was the shrewdest of all, casually trying to push the blame away from Xiao Guazi without batting an eye.

Chu Ren hurried to drive to the kindergarten, afraid the three children couldn’t endure the principal’s interrogation. Passing by a toy store, he tried to buy a fake snake, but unexpectedly there were no white ones—his wife and child truly possessed rare colorways.

In the surveillance footage, a section of the snake had peeked out; it was white, undeniable.

In truth, Chu Ren had entirely underestimated the Yao babies’ ability to put up a stubborn last-ditch resistance.

The principal was anxious. Real snake or fake, it was best resolved before parents arrived to demonstrate their problem-solving capability.

If it were a real snake, they would have to explain why a snake appeared in the kindergarten.

If it was just a fake snake brought from home by a kid, thank heavens!

Pondering his options, the principal wanted to divide and conquer, but the three refused to separate. All being heirs of immense wealth, the principal didn’t dare force them apart, so he could only start with the youngest baby.

The principal handed little Bai Chu a lollipop, saying amiably, “Baby, is Uncle nice to you?”

Little Bai Chu licked the lollipop: “Nice.”

Principal: “Then did you see a snake in the restroom? Little babies can’t lie, right?”

For the snake’s appearance and disappearance, Bai Chu was the sole witness in the restroom.

The little white snake baby stared at the principal with clearly defined black-and-white eyes—an intensely cold contrast that made the principal’s heart skip a beat.

Held back by the rule of not lying, after a moment, the little white snake said, “Principal Uncle, baby went blind!”

Principal: “…” Lying through your teeth with your eyes wide open!

Dou Shen looked at the little white snake in shock. How could such a tiny baby process a lie outside their pre-aligned cover story? Believing the little white snake was telling the truth, his face filled with worry: “Cobra (yanjing she)—mmpf!”

Is little brother Bai Chu going to turn into a spectacle cobra baby?!

Xiao Guazi moved with lightning speed, clamping his hand over Dou Shen’s mouth.

Because Daddy Zhou Sicheng often scared him, saying that if he secretly watched Daddy Zhenzhen’s short videos again, his eyes would go blind.

Yet baby was perfectly fine, proving “going blind” was a deceitful phrase.

Therefore, the little white snake was lying to Principal Uncle.

The principal’s legs turned to jelly. A cobra… his teaching credentials, his kindergarten…

Teacher Zhang hurried to support the principal: “White, it was white! Cobras are black.”

The principal stood up again. Xiao Guazi, why-why-why did you cover Dou Shen’s mouth?!

Teacher Wu’s voice brimmed with joy: “Mr. Chu is here!”

In this moment, the parent was practically a savior.

Facing Chu Ren, the principal felt somewhat awkward, stating his stance first to avoid complaints: “Sorry to trouble Mr. Chu to make the trip. Actually, this incident has nothing to do with your child.”

The one pranked by Feng Xiao was Mr. Shen’s son; the one who retaliated was Mr. Zhou’s son; yet the parent summoned by phone was Mr. Chu.

If Chu Ren were a fiercely protective parent, he would have made a huge scene.

Little white snake: “Daddy!”

Xiao Guazi: “Uncle Chu!”

Dou Shen: “Uncle Chu!”

“Daddy is here, it’s okay.” Chu Ren swept a glance over the three babies, first lifting his own up to check if he had suffered any bumps or bruises.

A false alarm.

Chu Ren said to the principal, “Please step outside for a moment. I’ll do some ideological counseling with them.”

“Yes, yes, of course.” With someone arriving who could take charge, the principal hurriedly vacated the room.

Zhou Sicheng had mobilized his secretaries to search for a white snake together. Ultimately, he drove to a reptile pet store and borrowed a model white snake from the owner.

Coiling the fake snake into his inner coat pocket, he pushed open the office door leisurely.

Thirty seconds later, leading the three now-subdued Yao babies, he presented the fake snake and apologized to the principal.

Zhou Sicheng: “My apologies. This was an electric toy snake my wife gifted our son for his birthday; he was afraid that handing it over would result in confiscation. I will be mindful in the future and ensure he never brings it to school again.”

Claiming it was an electric snake explained why it had coiled around Feng Xiao’s neck. Holding the fake snake in his own hands the entire time, the principal didn’t possess the guts to demand an inspection either.

The three Yao babies chimed in unison: “Principal Uncle, we’re sorry!”

Meeting reasonable parents, the principal breathed a sigh of relief: “Our apologies as well for such a commotion during naptime.”

“Teacher Zhang has already disciplined Feng Xiao and ascertained his motive.” Compared to these three little babies, Feng Xiao’s mouth was remarkably easy to pry open. The principal explained, “He picked on Mr. Shen’s child because he also has a naturally curly-haired younger brother at home—his eldest uncle’s child.”

Feng Xiao’s eldest uncle was an engineer stationed in Indonesia who married a local and had a son. Wanting the child to grow up in China, he left him with the grandparents.

Whenever Feng Xiao visited his grandparents, he often teased this mixed-race, naturally curly brother. The elders failed to treat them equally, effectively indulging the behavior. Feng Xiao suffered no consequences, so upon seeing Dou Shen with identical curly hair at kindergarten, his hands couldn’t resist acting up.

Zhou Sicheng nodded in understanding and took his leave.

Carrying Xiao Guazi in one arm and Dou Shen in the other, he walked out effortlessly.

As they were about to get in the car, Shen Ku rushed over from the construction site.

Heart aching, Shen Ku took his son.

He had already heard about it; he and Feng Xiao’s eldest uncle were even peers in the same industry, and he had already relayed the situation through mutual connections.

The domestic civil engineering market was sluggish, and overseas postings were meant to earn high salaries to support the family. Learning of this, that fellow engineer decided to return home—nothing was more important than one’s child.

Treating others’ children as one’s own, Shen Ku took pity on that naturally curly child he had never met, who didn’t even know how to complain when bullied by his cousin. He did his best to help transfer the father’s job back—on the condition that the engineer severed ties with his younger brother’s family.

Shen Ku: “Baby, he pulled your hair, why didn’t you tell Daddy?”

Dou Shen was very big-hearted: “I forgot.”

Shen Ku fretted, feeling for the first time that thank goodness his wife had teamed up their son with the others.

Chu Ren was furious; his son had sustained the greatest damage in this incident!

“No transforming next time, understand? Daddy can beat people up for you.”

Little Bai Chu said firmly, “Brother Guazi will cover for me.”

Chu Ren: “He’s only two years old, what kind of egg can he cover!”

Little Bai Chu pondered: “Daddy, but I can’t go back into an egg.”

Nobody asked you to turn into a snake egg!

Chu Ren put all the children in the car to play and bickered with the adults: “Zhou Sicheng, teach your son some manners.”

“Hm?” Named, Zhou Sicheng dangled the white snake model in his hand, remarking placidly, “Speaking of which, President Chu, why haven’t you made figurines of your wife and child to keep at home? Clearly, you don’t love them enough.”

Forcing him to search everywhere for a similar white snake, nearly resorting to spray-painting a toy.

Chu Ren: “You pervert, why would anyone make figurines of their wife? Don’t tell me you made one!”

Zhou Sicheng gave him a disappointed look: “I have plenty of sunflowers at home.”

To provide cover for the mischievous Guazi at any moment, the house now featured model sunflowers as well, blooming in perpetual evergreen.

Shen Ku: “I have coffee trees at home too.”

Chu Ren: “…”

Fuck, that’s what it’s for? Then it truly was a necessity.

Turning the tables, Zhou Sicheng escaped accountability from his brother-in-law and took Xiao Guazi home.

Once home, he hauled Xiao Guazi to the study for a serious father-son discussion.

Xiao Guazi was too short and had to sit atop the desk.

Leaning back against the chair, Zhou Sicheng met his gaze: “First of all, I appreciate your ability to retaliate on your own.”

Xiao Guazi crossed his hands behind his back, staring unblinkingly to display how well-behaved he was.

Zhou Sicheng: “However, your identity as a Yao is your trump card. Unless absolutely necessary, you cannot bring it out to scare people.”

“If Feng Xiao plays a 3, are you going to throw down the Red Joker?”

Xiao Guazi nodded: “Yes.”

Zhou Sicheng: “…” Bad example. A baby this young couldn’t understand card rules yet; whenever Xiao Guazi drew a Joker, he would always slam it down first to show off.

Zhou Sicheng pivoted: “You are a kind baby. Your Yao identity should be used to save people, not scare them, understand?”

“When Feng Xiao scared Dou Shen, all you needed to do was tell Daddy. Daddy could spank his bottom; there was no need to deploy the little white snake.”

Xiao Guazi understood, nodding vigorously, his baby fat trembling with each nod.

As soon as Xiang Zhen got off work, he heard from Xiao Kui Bao that Xiao Guazi had been hauled into the study for discipline, and hastily dashed upstairs to rescue his son.

Pushing open the study door, he saw the massive solid-wood desk—large enough for two adults to lie on—with a pitiful baby sunflower sitting right in the center, looking exceptionally small.

Heavens! Whenever a Yao was placed on this spot by Zhou Sicheng, it was because they had made a mistake and were due for punishment.

Xiao Guazi got spanked; Big Sunflower got fucked.

This was the most terrifying place in the Zhou household.

Xiang Zhen pleaded for leniency. Having successfully mediated a dispute between two corporate employees today, mediating a father and son was well within his grasp: “Hubby, don’t be mad. If it doesn’t work out, we just won’t let baby go to school.”

Zhou Sicheng massaged his forehead: “Pulling him out of school over such a minor thing?”

He tapped the desk. “I think the person sitting here ought to be you.”

Hearing this, Xiao Guazi lay flat and scooted toward the edge of the desk. Lowering his feet first, his tummy rubbed against the desktop as he shifted inch by inch. Once his whole body dropped over, his two hands clung to the edge, dangling and swaying for a moment until steady, before landing on the floor with a soft thud.

He pattered over to Xiang Zhen: “Baby yields his seat for Daddy to sit.”

Truly a filial baby.

Xiang Zhen: “…”

Zhou Sicheng promptly punished the instigator’s father.

Learning his lesson, Xiang Zhen demanded that the primary kindergarten contact be changed to himself: “I’ll pick Xiao Guazi up from school from now on.”

When teachers’ complaints reached him, the grievances would end with the wise.

Zhou Sicheng: “Are you sure? Who was the one claiming he couldn’t leave his work?”

Xiang Zhen: “Occasionally Xiao Kui Bao can do the work.”

Xiang Zhen organized a pick-up and drop-off activity in the Yao group chat.

Dropping them off at kindergarten, Xiang Zhen gave culturally elevated instructions: “A minor recluse hides in the woods; a great recluse hides among the people.”

“Baby, you have only one goal in kindergarten: conceal your identity until graduation.”

Xiao Guazi nodded dependably.

At 3:30 PM.

The great beauties set aside their work one after another, waiting lovingly and punctually at the gates.

Three camouflaged cubs marched out of the kindergarten.

Teacher Wu said awkwardly, “This afternoon was art class, and they took markers and drew all over themselves.”

Because of what happened yesterday, the principal had instructed Teacher Wu to compensate the three babies.

During art class, Teacher Wu indulged in some personal favoritism: based on the three children’s nicknames, she distributed coloring cards of sunflower seeds and coffee, teaching them to color.

Both were relatively simple shapes, yet they seemed to flip a switch.

Xiao Guazi thought of a brilliant way to conceal himself: turning into a camouflaged sunflower! Standing among lots and lots of trees, no one could see baby~

The markers his dad bought were non-toxic, lick-safe children’s coloring pens.

He drew green wavy stripes all over his fair, tender arms and legs.

By the time the teachers noticed, only his face remained clean.

The other two Yao babies followed suit and refused to let the teachers wash it off.

Teacher Wu: “Teacher can’t even recognize you anymore.”

Oh!

The three Yao babies were pumped with adrenaline, and their faces ended up messy too.

Strangely enough, the markers on them were like cockroaches—impossible to confiscate completely. Fortunately, their parents had said that as long as it didn’t endanger safety, they could indulge the babies.

Xiang Zhen wiped his son’s cheeks, finding it couldn’t be wiped clean; he needed a bath at home.

However, Zhou Sicheng was waiting at home. If he couldn’t bring back a fair, tender sunflower seed on his very first day picking him up, a Yao would lose a lot of face.

Xiao Guazi: “Daddy, can you recognize baby?”

Xiang Zhen’s eyes lit up: “Baby, I can’t recognize you.”

So, after conferring with his two good friends, he gleefully led the little white snake baby home.

They agreed to wash them clean before swapping back.

That way, each hubby would only see a pristine version of their own child!

Zhou Sicheng waited at home.

Fretting intensely as well.

Waiting and waiting, a little cub stepped out of the car.

“This is the son you brought back? Where’s Xiao Guazi?”

Holding the little white snake baby, Xiang Zhen feigned astonishment: “Snake baby, why is it you? Uncle thought the one with such a messy face would be Xiao Guazi.”

The little white snake said solemnly, “Uncle Zhenzhen, Brother Guazi didn’t draw; he is very clean.”

Zhou Sicheng: “…”

Can you even mistake hair color?!

And ‘very clean’—without even thinking, he knew his son was definitely the dirtiest.

On his very first day picking up his child, he picked up a random one! By this randomized probability, Zhou Sicheng would only see his son once every three days. What, was his son awarded to Shen Ku or Chu Ren in a custody battle?

Xiang Zhen: “It’s fine, hubby. We have to send him back to kindergarten tomorrow anyway.”

President Zhou, dedicated to charity, donated another 100,000. He usually recouped this money from his wife with interest.

Lord Sunflower couldn’t quite fathom where tonight’s round of fucking came from.

Never mind. Regardless of how it came, it was bound to come anyway.

As long as Zhou Sicheng didn’t do him from Monday to Saturday like last time.

Zhou Sicheng proved through practical action: he truly had no time to watch the kids.