TMWTGD CH10
by DewdropTLThe moment the words left his lips, Xie Jianwei sensed something was off, but he had not anticipated the consequences arriving so swiftly.
When he opened his eyes again, he had already been ejected from the dream.
Xie Jianwei was rendered completely speechless.
Yan Ke gasped in alarm, “My Lord, you said something you shouldn’t have again!”
Still regaining his bearings, Xie Jianwei cast an exceedingly displeased glare toward Yan Ke. “Do you even know what I said?”
“No, of course not!” Yan Ke declared his stance first, then hurried to explain, “I was only thinking of the Lord Marshal’s wellbeing, so I set a failsafe that immediately wakes you the moment you confess your feelings.”
Understanding dawned on Xie Jianwei. “So Lu Li didn’t expel me, you pulled me out?”
Yan Ke said, “Of course, cutting our losses in time!”
Xie Jianwei felt an overwhelming urge to hit someone.
Yan Ke caught on. “Um, was the timing of the exit bad?”
Xie Jianwei refused to entertain him.
Yan Ke laughed sheepishly. “Ahem, my intentions were purely good, mostly terrified of worsening the Lord Marshal’s condition.”
Xie Jianwei fixed his gaze on him. “Why didn’t you inform me of this rule beforehand?”
Shrinking under his stare, Yan Ke stammered, “I only just thought of it as an insurance policy. Since waking you manually is difficult, I had to act first and report later.”
Given how well they knew each other, Xie Jianwei didn’t press the matter, changing the subject instead. “Now that I’ve stepped out, what happens inside the dream?” He had awakened before, but always away from Lu Li’s sight; this time, they were tangled together mid-act.
Yan Ke said, “If the absence is brief, there won’t be any impact. If it drags on, the Lord Marshal’s mind will likely fill in the blanks on its own.”
Wasting no further time, Xie Jianwei said, “I’m heading back.”
Yan Ke urged him, “Whatever you do, do not confess again! If he splinters further…”
Xie Jianwei gave a solemn nod. “Understood.”
Transitioning between reality and the dream took barely a fleeting second.
Xie Jianwei was still clinging to Lu Li, but those three words he had blurted out had not vanished simply because he had taken a brief detour outside.
Lu Li had heard them loud and clear.
Gauging his reaction with caution, Xie Jianwei had no choice but to harden his heart and tack on two more syllables. “Xiao Li,” he whispered softly. In truth, he was supposed to say Xu Li’s nickname, but he found the man utterly repulsive, so he played a clever linguistic trick with an ambiguous pronunciation.
Inside Big Li’s head, whether it sounded like Little Li, plum, carp, or pear, it would inevitably be interpreted as Xu Li.
Sure enough, the man who had been frozen in stunned disbelief, wondering if he had hallucinated the confession, instantly darkened with stormy clouds.
He said nothing, simply thrusting into him with ruthless fury, looking ready to tear the cramped restroom stall apart.
Xie Jianwei’s heart ached for him. Hearing those syllables had likely driven Lu Li mad with rage, yet he still could not bring himself to do anything genuinely cruel.
It was merely an intensely fierce round of lovemaking, leaving Xie Jianwei dizzy with pleasure.
Having made such a mess of themselves, returning to the dinner table was out of the question. Carrying the slumbering Xie Jianwei in his arms, Lu Li felt a chaotic storm of mixed emotions.
He wanted to discard this man, wanted to torment him, wanted to make him taste the bitter agony eating away at his own heart, yet he could never bear to do it.
Even if Xie Jianwei thought of someone else beneath him, even if he treated him as a mere substitute, even if he might toss him aside at any moment, Lu Li could not stand to see him shed a single tear.
If Xie Jianwei let fall a single drop, Lu Li’s veins felt as though heavy lead had been poured inside, making it impossible to take a step forward.
What was he to do?
Holding him so tightly, yet never truly possessing him.
What on earth was he supposed to do?
Lu Li took Xie Jianwei to a hotel, cleaned him up thoroughly, and prepared to leave.
As luck would have it, just as he turned to depart, Xie Jianwei woke up.
“Xiao…” his voice was raspy, on the verge of uttering that name, when Lu Li lowered his head and captured his lips, smothering the syllable between their mouths.
Letting out a soft hum, Xie Jianwei looped his arms around his neck.
Yet Lu Li shoved him away.
Pausing, Xie Jianwei finally came to his senses.
Lu Li looked away. “I am leaving.”
Xie Jianwei reached out to grasp his sleeve.
Frowning down at him, Lu Li asked, “What, haven’t had enough?”
Xie Jianwei was speechless. Could this man speak civilly for once? Yet remembering Lu Li’s fragile, battered heart, his own softened instantly, whispering, “Could you stay?”
Lu Li finally shifted his gaze toward him. “Stay for what?”
Genuinely unwilling to let him leave, Xie Jianwei indulged in stubborn insistence. “…Keep me company.”
The request crossed the established boundaries of their arrangement, but Xie Jianwei had complete confidence that his possessive pervert would twist it all the way to the Andromeda Galaxy.
Sure enough, a self-deprecating smirk touched Lu Li’s lips, and he asked bluntly, “Wouldn’t you rather have Xu Li keep you company?”
Xie Jianwei said nothing.
Remaining silent was taken as tacit admission, leaving Lu Li feeling that asking had only brought humiliation upon himself.
He moved to stand again, but Xie Jianwei tugged on his clothes, refusing to give up.
Keeping a stony face, Lu Li asked flatly, “Aren’t you hungry?”
Xie Jianwei blinked.
Unwilling to look at him, Lu Li rose and said, “Wait here. I will get you something to eat.”
Understanding set in. Resting on the soft mattress and watching the man’s retreating back, Xie Jianwei could not stop his lips from curving upward.
How could his Lu Li be so endearing?
Even when he acted like such an appalling scumbag, Lu Li still brought him to a hotel, patiently cleaned him up out of concern for his comfort, and suppressed his fury to find food out of fear that he would go hungry.
Sweetness blossomed in Xie Jianwei’s chest, though in the next breath, a sharp pang of heartache prickled through him.
If he ever treated Lu Li like this in reality, would Lu Li react the same way?
Allowing his heart to be corroded by poison, yet offering endless tolerance and devotion in return.
Xie Jianwei had never doubted Lu Li’s love, but in all honesty, he had not realized it ran this deep, so profound that a proud man would cast aside his dignity.
In reality, however, he would never betray Lu Li, never letting down someone who treated him with such boundless devotion.
Before long, Lu Li wheeled in a dining cart himself.
He had not permitted hotel staff to accompany him, primarily to avoid exposing Xie Jianwei.
President Xie was famous after all, and luxury hospitality staff had high-profile faces memorized. A single glance would give Xie Jianwei away, so out of concern for his reputation, Lu Li handled everything personally.
Neither of them had eaten lunch, followed by exhausting exertion in such an unusual place; claiming he wasn’t hungry would be a lie.
Catching the aroma of shrimp and crab congee, Xie Jianwei’s stomach growled in earnest.
Tossing a bathrobe onto the bed, Lu Li said, “Get up.”
Xie Jianwei felt reluctant to leave the warm cocoon of the blankets. His legs were sore, having been held hooked around Lu Li’s waist for so long, leaving his inner thighs aching.
Eating in bed lacked proper decorum, however, and Military Advisor Xie could never bring himself to do such a thing.
Steeling himself, he slipped into the robe and stepped barefoot onto the carpet.
He had overestimated his physical state. After a couple of unsteady steps, his knees wobbled, on the verge of tumbling to the floor.
Lu Li caught him with swift reflexes. Because the robe hung loosely, the sudden motion pulled the fabric open, exposing most of his chest.
Faint, flushed marks bloomed across the fair skin, making the throat itch with desire.
Lu Li stared unblinkingly, utterly unable to tear his eyes away.
Sensing the unmistakable reaction behind him and knowing his body truly could not endure another round, Xie Jianwei pulled the robe shut at once.
Averting his eyes, Lu Li said coldly, “Eat.”
Xie Jianwei thought for a moment and offered, “I am genuinely exhausted.” He wanted to clarify his earlier reaction, showing it was not intentional rejection, but pure physical fatigue.
Glancing at him from the corner of his eye, Lu Li sneered, “If you weren’t tired, you would be willing to…”
He cut himself off with a frown before finishing.
Mulling over the unspoken half of that sentence, Xie Jianwei wisely held his tongue.
Visibly irritated, Lu Li carried him to a dining chair and sat across from him in total silence.
The table was set with Xie Jianwei’s favorites: shrimp and crab congee, crystal steamed dumplings, and a few refreshing appetizers that looked delicate yet whetted the appetite.
Xie Jianwei ate with relish, while Lu Li never touched his chopsticks.
Seeing that Xie Jianwei had finished eating, Lu Li finally broke the silence. “Why do you love Xu Li?”
Xie Jianwei wanted to reply that he didn’t care about the man at all.
Regrettably, he had to keep up the facade.
Pausing, Xie Jianwei said, “I can’t recall clearly.”
The words did not spell it out, but served as full confirmation, carrying deep undertones.
Loving someone fell into two categories: with reason, or without reason.
Loving someone for a reason was like an ancient, deep-rooted tree; though arduous to uproot and bound to tear up soil, it could ultimately be pulled free.
Loving someone without reason was different. It was like rain drifting from the heavens, seemingly ethereal, yet the moment it fell, it merged inextricably with the earth, never to be separated again.
Xie Jianwei’s supposed love for Xu Li had no reason.
Lu Li’s love for Xie Jianwei had no reason either.
It was an equation with no solution.
Lu Li could not understand why he insisted on asking. Asking would not extinguish his feelings, and he already knew the answer, yet he stubbornly pressed on, clinging to a thread of self-deluding hope that he might hear something different.
Unfortunately, there was nothing different.
Lu Li asked, “If you love him, why reject him?”
Xie Jianwei paused before replying, “We are no longer suitable for each other.”
“Why?”
Xie Jianwei said, “I am no longer the Xie Jianwei from three years ago.”
Lu Li could not grasp the true meaning behind those words, only letting his thoughts wander down a darker path.
Unwilling to pursue the topic further, Xie Jianwei looked up and said softly, “Lu Li…”
Cutting him off, Lu Li stated, “We should stop seeing each other from now on.”
Xie Jianwei’s eyes widened.
Wiping his hands with a warm towel, Lu Li said slowly, “I don’t mind being bedmates, but I have no interest in serving as anyone’s substitute.”
Xie Jianwei was rendered speechless.
Unwilling to linger on the topic, Lu Li rose. “Take care of yourself.”
Was he drawing the line for good?
“Lu Li!” Xie Jianwei called out, feeling a flicker of hesitation before speaking. “I know saying this sounds irresponsible, but…”
Lu Li did not leave, merely looking down at him without expression.
Xie Jianwei met his gaze. “Could we give it a try?”
Lu Li’s pupils contracted sharply. “What did you say?”
Xie Jianwei had no way of knowing whether this would destabilize his condition, but blindly complying with Lu Li’s scenario would never reveal the root of his mental knot. He had to attempt a different approach.
“I said… should we try seeing each other?” Xie Jianwei tried his best to make the proposal sound detached rather than eager, mimicking the flawed logic of a shallow playboy. “Not as bedmates, and not as substitutes, but as lovers.”
Lu Li’s chest heaved with a noticeable breath. His dark eyes turned fathomless, his voice dropping low and raspy. “Do you have any idea what you are saying?”

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