TMWTGD CH9

Xu Li had a companion with him, an attractive woman who looked at Xie Jianwei with a polite smile. “Pleasure to meet you, I am Xu Li’s elder sister.”

Xu Li hurried to introduce his sister to Xie Jianwei.

Xie Jianwei had zero interest in his family affairs. Yet the two had run into each other, and right in front of Lu Li no less, so how to handle the situation required careful thought. He subtly glanced toward Lu Li, only to be caught in the act. Their eyes met, and Lu Li’s expression was laced with cold mockery.

Xie Jianwei understood immediately. It seemed Lu Li already knew about Xu Li’s existence. Since he knew, Xie Jianwei had no choice but to play along with the performance.

How to play along was an art in itself. Based on the files, Xu Li was Xie Jianwei’s cherished white moonlight, but Xie Jianwei had been deeply wounded by him, so their reunion should be a turbulent mix of love and hate. He could not give Xu Li a pleasant face, yet could not be entirely detached either. His demeanor had to reflect resentment intertwined with lingering attachment.

Thinking it over, Xie Jianwei realized the difficulty was steep, severely testing his acting skills.

Meanwhile, Xu Li was bent on currying favor with Xie Jianwei. Crossing paths now, he naturally refused to let such an opportunity slip away. “Jianwei, may I sit next to you?”

Xie Jianwei cut in sharply, “No!”

Given his usual temperament, this reaction was remarkably intense. Jiang Mingming, who knew him well, paused visibly and looked between them with surprise. Lu Li stiffly looked away, his eyes pitch-black and impenetrable to light.

Feeling awkward and somewhat aggrieved, Xu Li murmured, “What must I do for you to forgive me?”

Xie Jianwei wished he could eliminate him on the spot, but sticking to the cardinal rule of therapy, he forced himself to be patient. “Xu Li, there is nothing left to say between us, nor is there anything to forgive. The past is in the past, and we…”

“You still have feelings for me!” Xu Li blurted out impulsively.

At those words, Jiang Mingming and Chen Qing were visibly stunned, while the knuckles of Lu Li’s hands holding his silverware whitened with tension.

Xu Li’s sister grabbed her brother’s arm, smoothing over the tension. “Xiao Li is too agitated. If he offended President Xie, please forgive him.”

Xie Jianwei did not even look at Xu Li, though his upright posture stiffened unnaturally.

Xu Li wanted to say more, but his sister pulled him away. “Enough, do not disturb President Xie and his friends.”

Unwilling to concede, Xu Li was clearly somewhat afraid of his sister. He held his tongue, merely casting a pitiful, pleading gaze at Xie Jianwei.

Xie Jianwei sat coldly in his chair. Though he said nothing, he never touched his fork and knife again. Seeing his state, Jiang Mingming tactfully kept quiet. Four people sat around the table, each lost in their own thoughts.

Xie Jianwei felt exceedingly uncomfortable. Putting on an act for a moment was fine, but dragging it out was pure torture, especially since he lacked any personal resonance. A self-absorbed, ungrateful persona like Xu Li wouldn’t have lasted three days in his real world, let alone captured his heart.

Although he had cared for Lu Li for a long time too, Lu Li was a world apart from Xu Li. With Lu Li’s stubborn temperament, once he chose someone, he was like a wolf that found its mate, fiercely loyal and single-minded, leaving no room to doubt his fidelity. Furthermore, Lu Li would never exploit him. What he craved most was Xie Jianwei’s reliance, so if Xie Jianwei helped him too much, he felt uneasy instead.

In the eyes of a lover, the beloved was peerless, and his lover was a genuine masterpiece. In contrast, Xie Jianwei found Xu Li utterly repulsive. Yet Xu Li kept staring at him, eager to pounce and confess his feelings at any second.

After maintaining an expression of conflicted emotional turmoil for a while, Xie Jianwei couldn’t endure it any longer. He stood up and excused himself, “Please enjoy your meal. I am going to the restroom.”

Leaving like that only deepened the gloom on Lu Li’s face. He would never guess that Xie Jianwei was simply tired of acting; he assumed Xie Jianwei had fled in disarray.

Xie Jianwei walked into the restroom, turned on the tap, and splashed cold water over his face, calming down considerably. He had to figure out how to resolve the situation with Xu Li. If Lu Li hadn’t known about him, making him vanish through an accident would have been easy. But now that Lu Li knew, and after Xie Jianwei had played out such an angsty scene, Xu Li couldn’t simply die. If an idealized white moonlight died, that memory would haunt his heart for a lifetime, leaving no hope of closure. But if he didn’t die, how should he dispose of him? What was it that Lu Li truly wanted?

In the mirror, Xie Jianwei caught sight of Lu Li’s reflection. He subtly drew back his gaze.

Crossing his arms against the doorframe, Lu Li remarked chillingly, “I never expected President Xie to look so rattled.”

Xie Jianwei knew the jealousy was about to boil over. That was fine, as his husband’s jealousy was far preferable to the ungrateful pest outside. Turning around, he played along with the scene, “You are overthinking things.”

Lu Li sneered, “Who would have guessed that three years ago, Xie Jianwei was actually a devoted romantic?”

Having the past dragged into the open, President Xie had to react with defensive fury, “Who gave you permission to pry into my private affairs?”

Seeing his defensive anger, Lu Li felt ice water pouring through his chest, stripping away every shred of reason. “Did I even need to investigate? You were blind enough to dote on an ungrateful ingrate, and you thought you could keep it hidden?”

Xie Jianwei narrowed his eyes sharply. “You knew all along.”

Seeing no attempt to deny it, Lu Li felt even more pathetic and ridiculous, his words turning harsher. “Yes, I knew from the start. I knew the very first time I had you in bed!”

Xie Jianwei naturally didn’t believe that, but had to pretend he did. He snapped in a low voice, “Shut your mouth!”

Lu Li stepped forward, trapping him against the narrow vanity of the sink. “Just what do you take me for?”

Xie Jianwei looked up at him, replying without mercy, “You know the answer perfectly well, don’t you?”

That remark thoroughly provoked Lu Li. Clamping his arm around Xie Jianwei’s waist, he laughed in cold fury. “A bedmate? A stand-in?”

Xie Jianwei vaguely guessed what the bastard was angling for, so he committed to the act, “Yes!”

“Good, very good.” Bloodshot veins crept into Lu Li’s eyes, pushed to the brink of madness. “Xie Jianwei, you…”

Before he could finish, footsteps sounded outside. Lu Li’s gaze darkened, and he yanked Xie Jianwei into one of the restroom stalls.

Xu Li’s voice drifted in from outside, “Jianwei?”

Clearly having noticed Xie Jianwei leave the table, he had followed him to speak in private.

Pinned against the stall wall by Lu Li, Xie Jianwei couldn’t budge an inch. Hearing Xu Li’s voice outside, Lu Li’s face turned terrifyingly dark.

Xu Li continued talking to himself through the door, “I know you are in here, and I know you don’t want to see me, but there are things I truly need to tell you.”

Xie Jianwei could barely pay attention to his words. The stall wasn’t small, but Lu Li was pressed flush against him, his hot breath brushing against his ear. Their posture was suggestive beyond measure, and Xie Jianwei was already struggling simply to keep his body from reacting.

Outside, Xu Li went on, “I regret leaving you back then. I was genuinely frightened at the time. I didn’t actually like that woman, I just felt that two men being together was abnormal. I thought I should like women, so I found her. But I never loved her. When I was with her, all I could think about was you. Jianwei, only after leaving you did I realize how wonderful you were to me. No one could ever treat me better than you did.”

“I know you’ve had many people by your side over these years, but I also know you were just playing around with them. You aren’t good to just anyone, you were only good to me. You took care of me for four whole years, I…”

Hearing phrases like playing around with them, only good to me, and took care of me for four years, Lu Li’s head buzzed with agony. Those words were like barbed hooks tearing into his flesh, dragging out blood and raw nerves.

Looking down at the dazed Xie Jianwei, Lu Li felt certain that Xu Li was right. Xie Jianwei had lived recklessly for three years, yet had never forgotten this one person. And now, that person had returned. Perhaps Xie Jianwei refused to accept him right now out of stubborn pride, but that was merely a matter of time. In a few days, Xie Jianwei would inevitably forgive Xu Li. What would become of him then? He wouldn’t even be a bedmate or a stand-in anymore. He wouldn’t even have the chance to see his face.

Lu Li knew he had lost his mind. Pouring so much emotion into such a person was madness from the start. Yet there was no way out, as it had been wrong from the beginning, wrong at every step, and now entirely beyond redemption.

Xu Li was still rambling about their wonderful past memories, while Xie Jianwei was trying desperately to stop himself from kissing his crazy husband.

When Lu Li looked down and saw Xie Jianwei’s restrained, trembling expression, he detonated completely. They shared deep devotion and true love, so what was he? What on earth was he to this man!

Lu Li kissed Xie Jianwei’s lips with brutal ferocity, his hands reaching to lift his clothes.

Xie Jianwei put up a token struggle, “What… what are you doing…”

Pressing against his ear, Lu Li threatened in a low whisper, “Do you want him to see you like this?”

Alarm flashed across Xie Jianwei’s face. He certainly didn’t want Xu Li to see, as Xu Li was utterly insignificant to him. Soon, however, Xie Jianwei realized that Lu Li would never let anyone else see him disheveled, and the threat was mere talk.

Yet that brief moment of panic thoroughly enraged Lu Li. He hadn’t originally intended to take things all the way, but now he wanted to retaliate with absolute cruelty, to humiliate him before his beloved, forcing him to surrender beneath another man while listening to memories of his true love outside.

Such twisted conduct could never fill his hollow heart, yet it birthed an indescribable, dark thrill. If he could not have him, he would ruin him.

Xie Jianwei feigned resistance at first, but soon yielded completely. In reality, Xie Jianwei had reservations, firmly turning down Lu Li’s more absurd bedroom demands. Inside the dream, however, there was little reason to hold back. As long as Lu Li didn’t want it, no one would ever discover what they were doing, since it was only a dream.

Neither knew when Xu Li finally walked away outside, but Xie Jianwei couldn’t spare him a thought anyway, his eyes and heart entirely consumed by Lu Li. Lost in the heights of passion, clinging to Lu Li with all his strength, he couldn’t hold back the whisper, “…I love you.”