TMWTGD CH86

Seeing that the ministers continued urging him to marry, Xie Jianwei grew impatient. With a wave of his hand, the attending eunuch called out, “Present your petitions if you have any; otherwise, the court is dismissed.”

The officials who had been earnestly pleading with him had no choice but to fall silent.

Their sovereign was exceptional in every way. He was handsome, capable, discerning with talent, and dedicated to learning. Better yet, he possessed both literary brilliance and martial prowess; his poetry surpassed renowned scholars, and on the battlefield, he could command armies to turn back tens of thousands of invaders. In his ten-year reign, his achievements were countless, winning the absolute devotion of his people.

Yet this flawless emperor possessed only one drawback, which was his complete indifference toward women.

The officials present had all become his devoted followers, and their foremost worry was that the twenty-six-year-old monarch remained without an heir.

Refusing to crown an empress was acceptable, but he could at least favor a concubine, or even a palace maid.

People often said emperors kept three thousand beauties in the imperial harem. For their emperor, an inner palace did exist, but it was reportedly filled with little beasts. The problem was that those fluffy creatures could not bear children.

Leaving court, the ministers discussed nothing else except the imperial wedding, heirs, and the eternal legacy of the Xie dynasty.

Xie Jianwei’s mood was already sour, and this only worsened it.

Afternoons were reserved for reviewing memorials without fail, but today he could not read a single word. His thoughts churned in chaos. Despite the warm spring sunshine, he felt chilled to the bone, an icy shiver wrapping around him beneath his heavy robes.

Pushing the documents away, he stood up and said, “Bring Xiao Hei and Xiao Bai here.”

The eunuch complied immediately, hurrying to the Menagerie to retrieve the two little felines who had been playing outside.

A black cat and a white cat, the very pair Lu Li had seen upon his arrival.

Looking at them, Xie Jianwei’s lips curled into a faint smile. He held out his hands, and they leaped into his embrace.

Their black and white coats blended together, bringing to mind that unique black-and-white creature.

He possessed white fur as soft as clouds and black fur as sleek as midnight silk. He was truly one of a kind.

The memory brought a sharp ache to Xie Jianwei’s chest. He smoothed their fur gently, his thoughts wandering far away.

Two years ago, when the victorious emperor returned from his frontier campaign, a round, charming beast had accompanied him.

His Majesty cherished him deeply, and many ministers frequently caught glimpses of his chubby silhouette inside the imperial study.

Believing him to be merely an animal, no one had paid it much mind.

Yet after returning to the capital, Xie Jianwei had begun an extensive search through ancient records.

What in the world was his A-Li?

The wings in his childhood, the refusal to grow, and the sudden overnight transformation all defied natural logic, carrying an air of myth.

Xie Jianwei had searched in the past without luck, and occupied by state affairs, the search had lapsed.

Now, he wanted to understand A-Li and discover what his precious companion truly was.

Six months ago, he finally unearthed an ancient tome. Reading the passage within, Xie Jianwei had felt pure delight at first.

An Imperial Divine Beast. A-Li truly existed to protect him.

Xie Jianwei had felt both overjoyed and deeply touched, resolving never to let him down in this lifetime.

Yet turning the page, upon reading a specific sentence, all his joy vanished.

“Twenty years of shared life. When the world is at peace and the people flourish, he shall depart on his own.”

He shall depart on his own… he shall depart on his own.

The young monarch murmured those words, his eyes wide with quiet dread.

Twenty years were nearly up. The realm was peaceful and the populace prospered, so did that mean he had to leave?

Their companionship had never been destined to last a lifetime. The feast had already been slated to disperse from the very beginning.

Twenty years was not short, but why had it passed so swiftly?

He still vividly remembered the moment they first met, every single hour of his youth, how the little creature wheedled to accompany him to court, and how he fought like a demon on the battlefield to shield him from harm.

How could twenty years have passed already?

Xie Jianwei had stayed awake all night, turning the pages back and forth in search of other details, but found nothing. That line of text was glaringly harsh, like a scorching summer sun that seared the mind and could not be escaped.

Xie Jianwei did not want him to leave, truly did not want it from the bottom of his heart.

Yet some things could not be prevented. The more he investigated, the clearer it became that A-Li would inevitably depart.

He would leave without fail.

Not only imperial divine beasts, but certain noble clans and commoners had also been accompanied by guardian beasts. Without exception, every one of them had departed, never to return.

“Must you leave?” Xie Jianwei had asked A-Li.

A-Li had nudged his palm with his large head.

Xie Jianwei had pulled him into a fierce embrace, burying his face in his sleek fur as silent tears fell.

In his entire life, he had only wept three times.

Once when his mother passed away.

Once when his father died.

And now.

A-Li did not know he was crying, as his thick coat shielded him from the damp moisture.

Yet he could sense Xie Jianwei’s sorrow, so he tried to comfort him in his usual way.

It was clumsy and adorable, but remarkably effective.

Xie Jianwei could not help laughing softly. “Silly thing.”

A-Li licked him in mild protest.

Hiding his emotions, Xie Jianwei asked, “Are you hungry?”

A-Li had been sleepy and gluttonous lately, likely because his larger body required more energy, so he munched on bamboo constantly.

The servants brought tender bamboo shoots, and the beast ate happily.

Watching him, Xie Jianwei gradually found calm.

If parting was inevitable, both of them needed to adapt.

The more Xie Jianwei thought, the more worried he grew. A-Li was formidable, but perhaps raised too innocently.

Where would he go after twenty years? Could he adapt to an unfamiliar world?

Xie Jianwei knew he would live in lonely agony without A-Li, but he could not bear for A-Li to suffer the same.

Having accompanied him for twenty years, A-Li deserved a better life and a joyful existence.

Xie Jianwei tested the waters, asking, “Would you like to explore the outside world?”

A-Li’s eyes brightened with joy, assuming Xie Jianwei would join him.

Bitter at heart, Xie Jianwei kept his tone light. “There are many of your kind in the forest. You might meet someone you love and have a pair of little cubs.”

Xie Jianwei hated talk of marriage, and A-Li disliked everything Xie Jianwei hated, so the beast shook his head in rejection.

This only deepened Xie Jianwei’s worry. He told himself to send him away early so both could adapt.

Thus, A-Li was sent to the Menagerie, and then back to the forest.

The beast never resisted or refused anything Xie Jianwei decided.

If Xie Jianwei sent him away, he left obediently.

When told to live well in the forest, he nodded obediently.

Xie Jianwei wanted to cry again, but held it back, saying, “Thank you.”

Though spoken with a smile, that smile looked far more painful than tears.

A-Li could not speak or refuse. He could only gaze at him with pleading dark eyes.

Unable to bear looking, Xie Jianwei forced himself to walk away.

After A-Li left, Xie Jianwei could not sleep for days on end.

Eventually, he grew somewhat accustomed to it, returning to his old routine of pouring his life into governing the empire.

Then, he visited the Grand Princess’s manor and reunited with A-Li.

In that instant, Xie Jianwei realized some things could never become a habit. Forcibly suppressed memories were never forgotten; they were merely buried deeper, and once a crack appeared, the surging tide could not be stopped.

Bringing A-Li back to the palace, Xie Jianwei thought only of treasuring each stolen day.

Yet now, he had left for good.

A-Li was gone completely.

Twenty years of companionship had dissolved into biting, solitary chill.

Xie Jianwei suffered from insomnia night after night. No one knew, because during the day, he acted completely normal. Whether attending court, meeting officials, or reviewing memorials, he performed flawlessly without a single slip.

Yet he simply could not sleep, and his appetite dwindled. When he forced food down, his stomach revolted, compelling him to vomit.

Knowing he had to eat, he endured immense misery to swallow meals.

No matter how strong his spirit was, his body could not hide the truth.

He grew thinner by the day, collapsing suddenly two weeks later.

The entire court was thrown into chaos.

The imperial physicians rushed over. Checking his pulse, they asked in confusion, “Deficiency in both qi and blood. Has His Majesty been eating and sleeping poorly lately?”

The young eunuch knew nothing, saying everything was as usual.

Yet the pulse clearly indicated extreme exhaustion.

The physicians prescribed medication and urged His Majesty to rest.

The ministers blamed themselves bitterly, shocked that they had failed to notice how exhausted the emperor was.

Soon, the Grand Princess arrived at the palace. Hearing the diagnosis, she scolded the ministers furiously.

“Just because His Majesty is diligent, you think you can slack off? Shifting every burden onto him, even the Son of Heaven cannot bear it! If you old fools are too decrepit to work, resign! Working His Majesty to exhaustion, what are your intentions!”

The ministers bowed and apologized repeatedly, not daring to argue.

After driving them away, the Grand Princess went to Xie Jianwei’s bedside, her heart aching at his pallid face.

This child was truly pitiful. Having watched him grow up, she knew his hardships better than anyone.

Yet the imperial family was unlike ordinary households. Even as his aunt, there was little she could do.

The empress had died early, and the late emperor cared only for statecraft, leaving a young boy all alone in the vast palace.

Sighing, she said, “Your Majesty, your health is the true blessing of the people.”

Awakening to see his aunt, Xie Jianwei felt a flicker of warmth. “I have worried Imperial Aunt.”

With tears welling in her eyes, she said, “Speak no more, rest well.”

Without an empress or concubines, no one tended to him while ill.

Seeing his state, the Grand Princess stayed in the palace to care for him personally.

Yet elderly and unaccustomed to strain, she fell ill herself.

Guilty, Xie Jianwei arranged for her to return to her manor to rest.

Before departing, she said, “Let A-Ke come accompany you. You cannot be without someone close by.”

Xie Jianwei hesitated, knowing Yan Ke should care for his mother, but the Grand Princess insisted she only needed sleep.

Unable to refuse her kindness, Xie Jianwei agreed.

Yan Ke rushed to the palace overnight, startled by Xie Jianwei’s emaciated frame.

“How did you become so thin?”

“It is not that exaggerated,” Xie Jianwei replied, his spirits slightly lifted.

Growing up together, their bond ran deep. Without formalities, Yan Ke sat by the bed and asked, “Your Majesty, did something happen?”

Pausing, Xie Jianwei murmured, “Nothing.”

“How can this be nothing? You look as if…” Yan Ke held back the words ‘lovesick grief.’

Guessing his thoughts, Xie Jianwei smiled bitterly. “Do not overthink.”

Yan Ke sighed and suggested he sleep.

Xie Jianwei wanted to sleep, but couldn’t. Closing his eyes, his mind remained sharp, capable of staring at the bed canopy all night.

Not wanting Yan Ke to worry, he closed his eyes, pretending to rest.

An hour later, Yan Ke spoke softly, “Cousin, you are not asleep, are you?”

Xie Jianwei opened his eyes, clear and alert.

Yan Ke sighed, “Can’t sleep?”

“I can’t.”

“Since when?”

Xie Jianwei remained silent.

Looking around, Yan Ke asked suddenly, “Where is A-Li?”

The name struck Xie Jianwei’s heart like a vice. “Gone.”

“Gone?”

Xie Jianwei said nothing.

Lowering his gaze, Yan Ke asked, “Is he an Imperial Divine Beast?”

Startled, Xie Jianwei looked up. “How do you know?”

Tears streamed down Yan Ke’s face as he choked up, “Forget him, Cousin. Forget him. He will never return.”

Xie Jianwei was stunned.

“There is no point in waiting. He will never come back, no matter how long you wait,” Yan Ke sobbed in despair. “I have already waited for five years.”

“You…”

“When he left, he swore he would return soon, but now…”

From twenty to twenty-five, Yan Ke had waited five agonizing years.

“Can you tell me what happened?” Xie Jianwei asked.

Having buried this secret for years, Yan Ke poured everything out.

Just as ancient texts recorded, guardian divine beasts could accompany nobles and commoners alike.

Yan Ke had one too.

Unlike Xie Jianwei, his guardian beast stayed for only ten years.

They met when Yan Ke was ten and parted when he turned twenty.

The beast had told him, “Wait for me; I will be back soon.”

Yan Ke waited foolishly, day after day, month after month, year after year, until now.

The greatest lie in the world was “Wait for me, I will be back soon.”

He didn’t need him to return quickly, only that he returned at all.

Yet lies filled every word.

Yan Ke’s plight was even more tangled than Xie Jianwei’s.

A-Li had never transformed into human shape; Xie Jianwei saw him as family and an indispensable companion, but not a romantic lover.

Yet when Yan Ke turned eighteen, he made a wish.

Loren wrote to him, “Whatever you desire, I can grant.”

Yan Ke said, “Then turn into a human.”

Loren began writing, “That cannot be done yet; you must wait…” But right as he finished writing, he stood up and shifted into a handsome young man.

Tall, athletic, with wheat-colored skin brimming with strength, and completely naked.

Yan Ke blushed furiously.

Loren was stunned as well, not expecting to transform so soon.

It was not a permanent transformation, but triggered because Yan Ke wished for it.

Though unexpected, Loren was pleased, since he no longer had to scribble clumsily with furry paws.

He looked at Yan Ke and asked, “Are you happy?”

Yan Ke threw clothes at him, shouting for him to dress.

After dressing, Loren asked, “Do you like it?”

“Like what? No!” Yan Ke was stubborn.

“What type do you like then?”

“Not someone like you.”

Loren pondered and realized, “Ah, you like big chests. That is tricky; I am male, growing a pair of large breasts might be…”

“If you dare grow a large chest, I will throw you out of the house!” Yan Ke snapped.

Loren asked, “Then what do you want?”

“Just… just like this.”

“You said you didn’t like me like this.”

Yan Ke wanted his fluffy beast back and wished this man would go away.

Yet Loren could not shift back immediately.

At bedtime, Loren opened his arms on the bed. “Come, let us sleep.”

They had always slept together, and Yan Ke loved hugging the soft, warm fur.

Now, his beast had become a tall, muscular man who outsized him completely.

“I will sleep next door,” Yan Ke said.

Loren jumped down, asking why. Seeing his eyes, Yan Ke softened and agreed to stay.

Lying together, Loren held him as usual, but Yan Ke felt intensely awkward.

Soft fur had become a firm chest, and a cuddly beast was now a solid, warm man.

Loren was unclothed, holding him close, leaving Yan Ke’s heart racing all night.

Loren remained human the next day, causing Yan Ke immense distress.

Hiding a beast in his room was one thing, but harboring a wild man was quite another. If his mother found out, disaster would follow.

Yet he could not bring himself to drive him out. Having lived together for eight years, separating was unthinkable.

So they made do.

They ate, slept, and spent their days together, yet everything felt different.

Instead of Yan Ke riding his back, Loren would scoop him up by the waist.

Instead of one eating meals and the other bamboo, both ate meals, and Loren constantly stole bites of his pastries.

Instead of Yan Ke wrapping around a fluffball, Loren pulled him into his arms.

And bathing, Loren asked to bathe together, prompting Yan Ke to yell at him to get out.

Living as humans differed entirely from living with a beast.

After sharing a bed for barely five days, boundaries shattered.

Loren kissed Yan Ke from head to toe, and they made love with reckless abandon.

Loren discovered a new indulgence. He used to think bamboo shoots were the sweetest delicacy, but now found Yan Ke’s body far sweeter.

He could never kiss or hold him enough, aching when Yan Ke cried, yet enchanted when he wept from overwhelming pleasure.

Yan Ke loved Loren. Though he knew it was taboo, he could not stop himself.

Having spent eight years together, Loren was everything to him.

Yet that sweet two-year romance had now become a poisonous ache.

When the ten-year mark arrived, Loren had to depart.

He told Yan Ke, “Wait for me; I will be back soon.”

Yan Ke trusted him.

Before leaving, Loren kissed him repeatedly, whispering, “My transformation is unstable; I must return to my clan to complete the rite. You must wait for me. Once the rite is finished, I will return swiftly!”

Yan Ke held no doubt, jokingly telling him to leave if he wanted.

Holding him tightly, Loren declared, “A-Ke, I love you.”

Yan Ke pressed, “Go on, hurry!”

Loren repeated, “Wait for me; I will return soon.”

And then, five years of separation followed.

Yan Ke finally learned the bitter weight of that promise.

Yan Ke wept bitterly, while Xie Jianwei stared blankly ahead, his face growing paler.

He had known A-Li could not return, yet hearing him say “I will return” had still planted a seed of hope.

Now, there was no need to hope.

Yan Ke had already waited five years.

Drying his tears, Yan Ke said softly, “Let it go, Your Majesty. This is fate.”

Every gain had its price. Those ten or twenty years brought endless joy, but when time was up, everything had to be surrendered to maintain balance.

Yan Ke spoke to console Xie Jianwei, knowing the unbearable ache of not eating, not sleeping, and wanting to die.

Yan Ke had contemplated death, but couldn’t leave his mother and family behind.

Deep down, he still held a faint glimmer of hope that Loren might return one day.

Xie Jianwei sighed. “You have suffered all these years.”

“Speaking of it brings some relief,” Yan Ke managed a faint smile.

Xie Jianwei closed his eyes and finally drifted to sleep, dreaming of A-Li turning into a human.

A man he found deeply familiar and loved at first sight.

In the dream, they were lovers, embracing and sharing their lives.

Their clothing and home were strange but fresh and vivid. In the dream, A-Li was the sovereign, and Xie Jianwei was his partner, staying by his side and waiting for his return.

Waking up to an empty room, Xie Jianwei felt terrified.

He wanted to sleep but feared dreaming again. If those sweet dreams continued, he would never want to wake up.

In dreams, he was not alone; he had A-Li forever.

Why wake up to a cold reality?

He fell asleep again, dreaming of Lu Li taking him to a wonderful place and cooking exquisite dishes for him.

He slept for three full days until Yan Ke woke him.

“Your Majesty! You have slept for three days!”

Xie Jianwei rose, murmuring, “Forgive me for worrying you.”

He rallied his spirits, reviewing the mountain of memorials through the night and attending court the next morning.

The ministers rejoiced, thinking he had recovered.

Only Yan Ke knew something was terribly wrong.

Xie Jianwei had entered a vicious cycle. Awake, he starved and worked sleeplessly; exhausted, he would collapse into sleep for three straight days.

Yan Ke feared he would either collapse from exhaustion or never wake from his dreams again.

Xie Jianwei kept his heart locked tight, displaying flawless composure on the surface while drowning in inner despair.

Meanwhile, the real Yan Ke inside Lu Li’s mind was frantic with worry.

The entity’s scheme was far too sinister.

Lu Li had accompanied Loren back to the beast realm, rushing to complete the coming-of-age transformation ceremony.

The ritual was smooth, and when it concluded, the fluffy panda had restored his dashing, peerless form as the Imperial Marshal.

Yan Ke had thought everything would be easy from here, expecting the Marshal to win back his beloved in no time.

Yet an astounding anomaly occurred.

Lu Li lost his memories, truly forgetting he was the Imperial Marshal, believing he was the Fourth Prince of the beast clan.

Frantic, Yan Ke called out in his mind, “Lord Marshal!”

Lu Li’s voice was distant and unfamiliar. “Who are you?”

Yan Ke was at a loss for words.

Attendants swarmed forward, congratulating Lu Li on his transformation.

Lu Li smiled politely. “Thank you for your care.”

Loren congratulated him as well, and Lu Li reminded him of the evening banquet.

Loren secretly breathed a sigh of relief, thinking the prince had forgotten his mortal memories.

Transforming into human shape erased mortal memories and their role as guardian beasts.

This was considered a mercy. Better to forget than dwell on differences between beasts and humans; ten or twenty years were enough, and mortals were fickle.

Yet Loren’s heart still ached, as if he had forgotten someone he should never have forgotten.

Yan Ke was beside himself with anxiety. He hadn’t expected the entity to interfere with the Marshal himself.

Now the situation was dire.

The Marshal had promised to return quickly, only to forget the Military Advisor completely.

He couldn’t return now, which would only deepen the Military Advisor’s despair.

Yet Yan Ke calmed down. The entity was unaware of his existence, unable to guard against him.

Even with amnesia, hadn’t the Lord Marshal fallen in love with the Military Advisor at first sight in every single dream?